My List of Near-death Experiences

By Percy Jackson

1) Fighting Ms. Dodds in the museum

2)The whole Minotaur attack thing

3) When the hellhound invaded camp

4) The visit to Aunty Em's Garden Gnome Emporium (Does turning to stone count as dying?)

5) Blowing up that bus in New Jersey

6) Falling from the St. Louis arch

7) The Waterland "Tunnel-o-love" ride

8) Going to Hades (You'd think I'd already be dead for that)

9) Luke's pit scorpion

10) Playing dodge ball with fire-ball throwing cannibals

11) Those demon metal pigeons. They probably would've stripped me to the bone

12) When Scylla picked me up off Clarisse's boat

13) Being turned into a guinea pig. (I know this doesn't sound lethal, but you didn't smell that cage)

13) Fighting Polyphemus and his flesh-eating sheep

14) Luke and I fighting on the cruise ship (Thank you Party Ponies for saving my butt)

15) Fighting the Manticore

16) When Thalia nearly crashed Apollo's sun chariot

17) Every encounter with those zombies

18) Pan's "Blessing from the wild." Man, I hate pigs

19) Fighting the defective Talos statue

20)Getting trapped in the Hoover Dam (with zombies)

21) Holding up the sky (I thought I'd be crushed into Percy-dust)

22) Being in the car while Zoe was driving (I don't care how old she is, she still drove like a maniac)

23) Battling demon cheerleaders (what was with those legs?)

24) Being chased by KampĂȘ

25) Fighting the Sphinx and her grading machine

26) Blowing up Mount St. Helens

27) Fighting Antaeus

28) The "Battle of the Labrynth." Thankfully, Grover was able to produce such a girly shriek that all the monsters ran away

29) When Beckendorf and I blew up Luke's cruise ship

30) My dip in the Styx

31) Fighting with the Minotaur again

32) When that back-stabber Ethan Nakamura almost, uh, stabbed me in the back (My Achilles heel to be precise)

34) Being tethered to an angry flying she-boar (Not my idea of "fun")

35) Fighting that humungous drakon

36) When I sat on my dad's throne and was almost blasted into a puddle

37) Battling Luke/Kronos

38) Fending off the Gorgons for days. (They just wouldn't die!)

39) Nearly being decapitated by a crazy man's weed wacker

40) Being held hostage by Amazons (It might not have killed me, but still)

41) When those "Canadians" were attacking Frank's Grandma's mansion

42) Fighting Polybotes (and he isn't gone forever)

43) Whenever we rode Arion, I was pretty sure I'd fall of and they wouldn't notice for a couple hundred miles

44) Pretty much every time I've battled a monster (I mean, there's always a chance)

45) Even at Camp Half-Blood it's dangerous. (Such as the recurring incident where an archer sneezes and fires his arrow at my head-"accidently"

So there you have it. Sorry if I missed some, but I'm pretty sure you get the idea

PERCY