Cecilia-

I stayed, laying on the floor of my bedroom, not even to care to go to the bathroom. The sunlight was streaming in, forcing me to get up, but not even the powerful wrath of the sun beams could get me up from my miserable state. I was about ready to die. From starvation, and fustration. Abby knocked on my door hard and I just muffled through my bedroom rug "Go away!"

She burst in and saw me on the floor, she bent down to see if I was still breathing.

"Mom says get up, we're going shopping" she scoffs.

I move my face from the carpet to see Abby's sad expression. I put my head back down and waved my hand "You go on without me" I said "I am going to die here"

She sat down beside me and just sighed impatiently "No. Mom said she wanted you...she ALWAYS wants you!" she shouted, and she shed a tear. I looked up and saw her tears flow down her chubby cheeks. I sat up and scratched my head "What do you mean ALWAYS?"

She gave me a look "You're really asking me that? Seriously Cecilia, it's always about you and what YOU need. Ceci needs bone marrow treatment. Ceci needs her fabulous boyfriend for her right now. Ceci brought on the fact that dad is cheating and SHE needs comfort along side from mom. Ceci, Ceci, CECI!" she hits the ground with her fist.

I frown and scoot over to my crying sister. I hug her tight and she just sobs into my shirt. I run my hands through her brown hair and just shush her.

"They just need me to be strong, so I can take care of YOU, Abby. They love you just as much as I do. Don't forget, I'm the one dying, you're not. You're gonna live on and be strong, like I am. Ever stronger! You're gonna be the one to carry on the Johnson's-don't-cry-unless-they-stabbed-their-foot method"

She laughs at that and I just smile "Don't ever doubt that people don't care about you, cause Abby" I made her look me in the eyes "I care about you. And I love you dearly" she smiled and kissed my cheek "Thanks Ceci" and we hugged tightly. She got up to tell my mom I wasn't going shopping, whethere she liked it or not.

I wanted to check on Justin, to see if he was alright, but I knew he was devistated when I ran out the door. Ugh, always my fault. I got out my diary and flipped through the pages. Almost full. Hmm.

I took a page and tore it. I threw it and just started ripping my whole book of scribbled depression.

I opened the window and started throwing out the pages in different directions. I didn't care if that's litering, it's my yard! I kept mumbling over and over "I'm not the girl I used to be, i'm not the girl I used to be" I don't even know, but I just didn't feel the same.

I threw the book out the window and it landed in Justin's backyard. I covered my mouth, but then waved my hand. He'll find it sooner or later.

I plopped myself on the bed and just thought deeply, about everything that happened. I met Justin, we had a romance, he had an ex girlfriend, she came and seduced him, my dad was cheating, Justin and I got ran over by a car, I have cancer, I can't think straight, and I don't know the meaning of life anymore.

Ugh! Calm down Cecilia, you're not dead yet. Okay, I just have to go over to Justin's and work it all out. Alright? Okay.

I got up and put on something decent, I wasn't gonna look like shit when I straightened things out with him.

I walked over to the Bieber Residence and knocked on the door. His dad opened the door "Oh hello Ceci, uhm Justin isn't here right now" he frowned.

I frowned too "Oh uhm...well can you tell him I need to talk to him...when he gets back of course"

He nodded "Alright" and he closed the door. I turned and sighed. Great, not home. Wait, isn't he grounded? Oh well, whatever. I walked down to the park with my hands in my sweater. I sat on the swings and just swung slowly. I looked up at the sky and breathed.


Justin-

"What did I tell you Justin? No more drinking!" my mom yelled, while driving to the supermarket. I rolled my eyes and looked out the window. It was just like the beginning of the summer, trees, people, Hollywood Blvd. It seemed like a new world again, I don't know why.

I sighed "Look, i'm sorry. I didn't know there was vodka in there" I lied through my teeth.

She shook her head "Oh Justin it doesn't matter. I thought you were done with partying. You promised me when we agreed to move here"

I looked at her "When YOU agreed to move here. I had no say! I didn't have a very good life then, but it didn't mean I didn't wanna leave my friends! Mom, my girlfriend is mad and dying, how am I supposed to cope with that?" I frowned.

She frowned too and didn't say anything for a minute.

"Look baby, I want the best for you. But drinking all your worries away, will not help. I'm sorry your best friend passed and i'm sorry Cecilia is not all well, but I need you to stay safe. For our own sake"

I nodded "Okay" and I didn't say anything after that.

We went shopping and then went back home. I helped with the groceries and putting them away. My dad came up to me "Ceci came by"

I stopped what I was doing "What?" I said in excitement.

He nodded "She wanted to talk"

I stopped helping and ran out the door. I went to Ceci's and knocked on the door quickly. Abby opened the door "Oh hey Justin"

"Where's Ceci?" I panicked. Why was I panicking?

"She's not here" she said calmly.

Ugh! I ran towards the sidewalk and went to the park. She was probably on the swings. I ran up to the park, but she was no where in sight. I groaned and ran back to the sidewalk. I knew one place she could possibly be. I ran to the coffee shop she took me yesterday and ran into it. I looked in the back of the booths to see her sitting by herself.

I walked over and sat across from her. She didn't look up at me, she just stared down at the glossy table. I cleared my throat.

"You alright Ceci? My dad said you came by to talk..." I bit my lip.

She sighed softly and finally looked up at me "I'm done Justin"

I sat there for a minute "Wait...what?" I asked confused.

She shook her head "I'm done Justin" her voice cracked "I...I can't handle this. I have cancer, and I'm not gonna live. I'm not gonna be with you"

Tears started to form from my eyes "Wait...no...don't Ceci I-" but she interrupted.

"No Justin, please don't argue. I'm ready to let you go. If I die and you have to stand by my side when I do" her lip quivered "Then I shouldn't be with you at all"

I took her hand in mine and squeezed it "No Ceci please, I will be there, i'll be there!" I yelled, not caring who heard in the shop.

She wiped her tears "It's over Justin, good bye" and she stood up.

I stood up with her and I saw her walk away from me, from my life. I couldn't handle the things that she said. They burned into my brain and I was hurting, but I didn't react immediately. Instead I walked out the shop and went the opposite way Ceci was walking.


Cecilia-

I cried on my way home, not knowing what I just did. I needed Justin by my side when it was my time to go, but I didn't want to see the hurt in his eyes. I put my hands in the pockets of my sweater and entered my house. I saw Abby look up at me "Justin came-" I interrupted her "I know, I broke up with him" and I went upstairs.

I heard her gasp and yell "Why?"

I yelled back "I'm dying!" and I slammed the door to my room behind me. I layed on my bed and just sobbed myself to sleep, not knowing what was going to happen to me next.

When I woke up, I heard yelling from outside. I fluttered my eyes open and I went up to the window. I looked into Justin's window and saw him standing in the middle of his room. What was he doing? I ran downstairs and went outside. His whole family was outside, except him. I ran to Pattie and looked up at the house.

"What's wrong?" I asked worried.

Pattie turned "He locked us all out!" she shook her head "Justin! What are you doing!" she yelled out to him.

But he didn't come out or show any sign of what he was doing.

I bit my lip and went to the backyard. I took a rock and threw it at his window. He opened it and looked around, then he saw me.

"What are you doing Justin?" I yelled at him.

He had no expression "What I should've done when Ryan died" and he went back inside his room.


Justin-

I squirted gasoline all over the house when my parents left to take the kids to the park. I stayed behind. I said I was gonna "sleep". I went to the store and bought four gallons of gasoline. I put one gallon in a huge bucket in my room. This should be fun.

I took the match from the match box and lit it.

I closed my eyes "I'm coming Ryan" and I threw the match into the bucket of gasoline.


Haha, okay you guys are gonna yell at me after this, but I'm not posting until probably Tuesday(;

Ohhh, I am gonna get yelled at for sure.

I NEED REVIEWS, please? kthanks. love you all!

xoxo