Hey people! Thanks to all of the reviewers; I really appreciate it! R&R this chapter too, if you please :)
And now, on to the story!
After Mockingjay
Chapter Seven: Daunted
After the heartfelt ceremony at the altar, Peeta takes my hand and we walk to the side to sign the official marriage papers. Following that we go back down the altar together this time, my hand tucked under his, to the after party.
If the Capitol would have held our wedding before the Quarter Quell, I would have expected an after party of grand proportions. Now, with the Capitol gone, the celebration is just as grand, if not smaller and more inclusive.
The party is in the building beside the garden. Ironically enough, it is the old Peacekeeper building. The walls are a bright white, and the floors polished and shining. My shoes tap over it as we make our way towards the grand central room.
I try to take it all in at once, when we walk in. There are dozens of tables and chairs draped with white cloth and lace, and centerpieces with even more pink flowers. There is a dance floor cutting through the entire thing. I can't help but grin, but there is a twisting feeling inside that reminds me of the celebration at the Capitol after the Tours Peeta and I took through the districts.
Before everyone arrives, Peeta sweeps me in his arms and gives me another kiss.
"Have fun Katniss," he says. "Don't think."
For his sake and mine, I try.
The place swarms with people not soon after that. There is a custom, I heard, that the family of the bride and groom go in a line and everyone congratulates them and thanks them. But since the only family consisted of Peeta, myself, and my mother, we are all bombarded at once. Soon Peeta and I become separated, and I find myself in the midst of dozens of people.
I do what Peeta says and smile, and don't think. I thank the people after they have complemented me - on my dress, the venue, the beautiful flowers - and I find myself going along with the flow.
"Congrats."
I find myself turning to see Gale standing there, his hands shoved into the pockets of his dress pants. My throat goes dry for a moment, for I expect pain or even anger. But his mouth is twisted into a smirk, and I can see by the wistful look in his eyes that he's sincere and content.
I can't help the small smile that comes to my lips. The hopeful and swelling feeling for my friend expands in me and I hug him. Maybe we can still be close after this.
He hugs me in return, and then I step back. When I had last seen him in the forest, he was different. He was closed off. Restless. But somehow, he was changed. And maybe it had something to do with the girl who hooks her arm around his.
"That was amazing Katniss," Madge says a bit breathlessly. "Honestly amazing."
I look at the both of them together, complete opposites with Gale's black hair and gray eyes, next to Madge's blonde hair and blue eyes. I notice the way Madge's eyes keep on darting up to look at Gale, and Gale glancing down at her ever so often. I see a couple who was meant for each other. All they had to do was find each other first.
"You're staying, right?" I ask.
Gale grins and takes Madge's hand. "Of course."
The afternoon passes by in a blur and soon merges into nighttime. By that point, I everyone was enjoying themselves. An hour after the ceremony, dinner was served. (Made especially by Capitol chefs, but Greasy Sae couldn't stand watching everybody else cook the food, so she took over.)
After that, the dancing started.
Music rings out all around us, sweet, soft melodies and jubilant tunes. I grasp Peeta's hand more tightly as he sweeps me around the dance floor. I feel as though my feet aren't even touching the floor half of the time, and my jaw is hurting from the smile that seems permanently expressed on my face.
I laugh as he dips me down to the ground, and then pulls me back up so that we're face to face.
I give him a quick peck on the lips, and then drift away. "Thirsty," I mouth to him. This is true; dancing is really tiring.
I pull up the bottom of my dress and walk over to the food table stationed by one wall. I stop by the rows of crystal glasses filled with water and pick one up, taking a huge gulp and then remembering that Octavia would kill me if I smudged my lip stick. Oh well. I think. Peeta and I have done enough kissing that I wouldn't be surprised if red is smeared halfway across my face.
A hand snatches up another one of the glasses, and I turn to see Annie standing there, the water held delicately in her small hands. She's wearing a pale blue-green dress that matches her eyes, and flat shoes. For a moment my eyes are directed to the obvious bump in her abdomen, and my heart clenches for a brief moment.
She seems to sense my thoughts. "Oh this?" She pats her stomach, smiling slightly, her gaze faraway. "Yes, I suppose he'll be just like his father. He kicks all day. Here, feel." She takes my hand and guides it to the bump. I'm about to object when I feel something against my hand. Movement, and then something nudges my hand softly.
I can't help but let my eyes widen. A small sound escapes my lips, something between wonder and bewilderment. A small voice inside me whispers, there's something alive in there. A human being!
She releases my hand and I pull it back fast, as if I would somehow hurt the baby inside her. "It's amazing, isn't it?" She breathes. "While at the same time...its my only ties left to him."
I don't have to think about who she refers to. "It is amazing," I agree, for her sake.
I watch as she nodded, placed the still full glass back on the table, and walk away. She soon disappears into the crowd.
I stare at the place where she disappeared, a hard feeling in my heart. She was still as mad as she was months ago; and I could tell that she was still suffering.
I turn back towards the table and put the glass down, just in time for someone to pull me away.
Plutarch sweeps me around the floor, his grin a genuine one. "The wedding is a hit!" He exclaims.
My feet are barely able to keep up with his as we cut an arch across the dance floor. I don't know what to say.
"We recorded it live, of course, and screened it across the televisions of millions of Panem residents. Nobody will ever forget this!"
He's almost squealing with joy. I settle for a smile. "That's good."
"It's more than good, my darling," he says. "This may hold off anything; everything forever!"
My stomach gives a slight lurch. "Right."
The song ends and another one comes on. I step back from Plutarch, and not a second afterwards Paylor, almost unrecognizable in a flowing gray dress, switches partners with me. The next moment comes, and I'm dancing with Gale.
"Having fun?" He asks simply, grinning as he twirls me around.
We drift around the floor like experts, our feet never catching on each others, held the perfect distance apart. "Of course." I answer. Its nice to dance with Gale; it feels almost peaceful. "You?"
"Of course," he mimics me.
We dance some more. I wonder for a small moment who Peeta is dancing with, and then I realize that I can't see him in the crowd. My hands clench of Gale's before I can stop them.
Gale seems to see what I'm thinking. "Lost your new husband already? He's out there." He jerks his head to the side, motioning to two french doors paneled with glass. "He told me to tell you that when you asked."
"Well, thanks," I say. There's a moment of silence. "I should probably go see him."
"You do that," he says, releasing me. I incline my head in thanks and then start towards the doors.
With my hand on the gold handle, I turn around. I see Gale meet back up with Madge, who slides an arm through his. She bends up on her tip toes and kisses him on the cheek, and a light flush appears on Gale's face. He smiles at her and sweeps her back into the crowd. I swear that their feet weren't touching the ground.
I smile to myself and turn back to the doors. I think they might love each other, I think. Either way, its good to know that they have someone to confide in.
I push open the doors, and a blast of cool air hits me. At first I'm caught by surprise; and that's when I realize that it isn't another room, its a balcony.
The place takes shape. A stone floor stretches several feet and knifes up into a solid wall, with wrought iron decor set to protect somebody from falling over the side. A plant in a ceramic pot sits on the three-foot wall, which stretches in a square around the balcony and connects to the wall beside the french doors, which I close with the back of my foot.
Peeta stand by the plant, which I see is another primrose. The sky in front of him is a solid black, shaded here with ribbons of midnight blue. Stars glitter in the sky like shards of glass.
I approach him where he stands, laying my hands on the railing and looking out. The garden below is cloaked in darkness. I look up and my heart jumps into my throat. Peeta's blue eyes are sparking in the mute light.
"Thank you," He says, slipping his hand around my waist and pulling me closer. "Thank you so much."
For some reason I'm confused. "Thank you?"
He smiles at me. "Thank you for making this the best day of my life."
I can feel my cheeks burning. "I should've been the one saying that. You're the one that made it all possible."
"No I'm not," he says. "You're the one who asked me; your the one who had the idea in the first place. You're the one I'm sure that I'll love forever."
My mouth parts in surprise. It certainly wasn't what I expect Peeta might say, but it made me feel like my heart was trying to jump out of my chest. "I..." I carry off, trying to think of something to say. I should say something along the lines of "I love you too," except I couldn't. Except something irks me, in the back of my mind, and the words tumble out of my mouth before I'm able to stop them. "Do you think this is a good idea?"
His face falls, and I know I've said the wrong thing. "What do you mean?"
I hurry to fix my question. "I mean...do you think...in the beginning...this was supposed to be for Panem, right?"
"Right," his tone seems almost weary with the mention of the Panem. He looks at me pointedly. "Is that the only reason you did this whole thing? Marrying me?"
"No," I answer slowly. I realized that I was doing this because I wanted to. Panem will always come second from now on. I was done with politics. I want to spend my life with Peeta. I know I may have thought that I was doing this for the good of stopping a rebellion, and maybe that's what eventually pushed me, but if I didn't want to, then I wouldn't have done it. "I wanted to do that...its just..."
He stays silent, waiting for me to carry on.
I find it hard to speak for a moment, and when I do my voice has gone thick. "I'm just...scared." I take a deep breath and hold back the tears that seem to have always been following me since Prim's death.
"Of me?" Peeta asks. He looks horribly sad.
"I'm scared of loving someone...like I love you," I struggle to say. "Everyone I've ever cared about is gone because of me. I just want to be able to spend my life with you without being afraid of you leaving...or worse."
He hugs me to him in one swift motion. "I'll never leave you Katniss. Not for the stars or the sun itself."
I'm glad for his arms around me, otherwise I would have fallen. His words pierce into me, reassuring and passionate. I close my eyes and inhale the scent of him, willing it to stay with me - so that he will always stay with me - forever.
When we pull away at the same time, the wetness behind my eyes has completely disappeared.
I lean into Peeta as we watch the sky. A low issue of music comes from the room behind us, but for now we're cut off from all of the people there. We're two souls, finally connected as one. Even though out here, its easy to get lost in the stars, I feel as though I'll never be alone again.
"Have you talked to Haymitch yet?" I ask. I hadn't seen him in the Justice Building.
"Nope," Peeta answers. "Most likely he's hoarding all of the spirits and is hidden somewhere. We probably won't find him for a while."
I laugh. "He certainly looked happy at the wedding." I say with a sarcastic lilt.
This time its Peeta who laughs. "He was probably just uncomfortable in the suit of his."
There's a strange silence, and then I ask: "Do you think you're parents would approve of us? Together?"
He seems to be contemplating this. "Well, they'd have to deal with it, even if they didn't approve." He grins and at me, and then softens. "I don't know. They didn't have a choice before, but if they got to know you - really got to know you - they would have known why they didn't have a choice now."
I roll these words over in my mind. I remember Peeta's mother, who hit him because he dropped bread in the fire by accident. But no, it wasn't by accident. He was doing it because of me.
I sigh and lean closer to him.
After a while, a comet of light streaks across the sky.
"Make a wish," I say to Peeta.
"I don't need a wish." He says, and kisses my forehead. "What are you going to wish for?"
"I-" I'm about to say "nothing", when a deafening shot rings out and the flower pot in front of us explodes. Dirt and shards of ceramic fly everywhere. Another shot rings out, and pain sears through my arm.
The next thing I know, we're both on the ground, Peeta guarding me with his body as several more shots sound. I hear the glass of the door behind us shatter, and more shards tinkle to the ground.
I'm half lying, half sitting with Peeta's arms and body pressed against mine. Even after the cracking sounds are over, there is still a rushing sound in my ears, like a waterfall. My breath comes out in strangled gasps, and a screaming sound begins from a distance. The pain flares in my arm, and the pitch hits a crescendo.
I'm running.
I'm running away from the Gamemakers as fire shoots over my head, catching and spreading over the trees and bushes around me.
I'm running away from the mutts as they chase us through the forest.
I'm running away from the shrill shriek of Prim's scream that comes from the Jabberjay.
I'm running away towards my death. Running away from Peeta, who still has his arms around me.
Then the running stops, and I realize I'm right where I was meant to be.
