A/N: if you haven't realized this is vampire Bella.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Buggie Brown the Stuffed Dog!

Things Bella Cullen is Not Allowed to Do

1. Go around scaring the humans.

2. Keep changing decisions every few seconds to cause Alice to have a headache.

3. Get Jake to help her scratch Rose's car.

4. Tell her Emmett did it.

5. Convince Rose that a good punishment would be no sex for a year.

6. Withhold sex for a month for a stupid reason like 'you love your car more than me and Nessie!'

7. Block everyone's mind just to mess with Edward.

8. Unblock her mind and think about sex with Robert Pattinson while with Edward.

(Starthevampire's ideas again!)

9. Make people think she is a ghost, late at night.

10 Show up at her own funeral and cry on the coffin 'Why! Why!' Then just walk away.

11. Taunt Jake that werewolves are almost extinct.

12. Flirt with every guy she sees.

13. Go to a gym and show up all the people there.

14. Remove her shield and think dirty things at a time when Edward can't act on it.

15. Make sure Jasper is in the room.

16. Be around the pack even though her smell bothers them.

17. Tell Jake that Nessie doesn't want to see him anymore because she has fallen
for a stuffed bunny named Bun-Bun.

18. Also that he is fighting the evil cheerios that are plotting to take over the world alongside the gummy bear forces of Gummy world.

19. Go up and hug each member of the pack.

20. Walk down dark deserted alleys to see if any creeps will follow her

21. Tell the Volturi that they need a makeover.

22. Then not let Alice be in charge.

23. Keep reminding Rose that she can't have a child when Bella has Nessie.

24. Shield Alice so that they can give Edward and Emmett makeovers.

25. Shield Alice and make Jasper and Edward think that they were doing something naughty together.

26. Have Nessie help turn Alice's Porsche into the ugliest car ever.

27. Then blame Emmett.

26. Sit in a tanning booth and when nothing happens sue the place.

27 Tell Rose she is no longer the most beautiful girl in the world, Japer is.

28. Tell Jasper about how good self control she has.

29. Take Nessie shopping with her and buy a bunch of random crap that Alice would approve of.

30. Buy cloths in a size that are way to for Alice.

31. Then when Alice gets home and demands where they have been all day since she can't "see" Nessie; tell her about all the amazing sales she missed out on at her favorite stores.

32. Wear t-shirts and jeans.

33. Accidentally set parts of the new wardrobe Alice bought for her on fire.

34. Go to La Push and try to hang out at Emily's house since the treaty is already broken. Pretend not notice the packs (except Seth) disgust.

35. Tell Leah to stop being such a harpy and to get over it.

36. Turn Alice's wardrobe into all camouflage.

37. Record her reaction and put it on YouTube and then show her said video.

38. Tell Edward that she is much better at the piano than he is. Then demand a piano duel.

39. Pick up guy in bars and bring them home as snacks.

40. Try to see just how much strength she has now that she is a vampire by playing catch Emmett with Jacob.

41. Get Mike to be sent to an insane asylum by visiting him now that everyone thinks she is dead.

42. Leave the animals she drinks in La Push with a name tag that reads 'his name is Jeff take care of him!'

43. Tell Nessie that Jake is really her father not Edward.

45. Try to have pillow fights causing pillows to explode and feathers to fly everywhere.

a pillow fight with Jake when all the rest of the Cullens are away.

47. When they come back act like nothing is going on while trying to hide the pillows behind their backs and smiling all innocently.

48. Tell Esme that the house looks terrible and they should fire whoever decorated it.

49. When Esme tells her that she decorated say oh yeah you did a terrible job.

50. Make it look like a hurricane went through the house and then go to La Push.

51. When she comes home to see the house a mess act all surprised and ask suggestively what they have all been up to.

51. Leave a trail of blood to Emmett's room.

52. Tell the Volturi brothers to find something better to do then sitting around eating all day.

53. Give all the Cullens except Emmett red contacts to see what he does.

54. Wear the red contacts to visit the wolves.

(Love'ya; Starthevampire!)

55. Paint the house tied dye.

56. Call Emmett over and ask him to hold the paint brush then scream "Esme Emmett painted the house tie-dye!" then take a picture for evidence.

57. Prank-call the Volturi.

58. Pretend to be an insurance agent for the vampire association of really old vampires.

59. Never give them a chance to speak, and then hang up.

60. Call Tanya and gloat that she married Edward.

61. When pregnant for vampire/human baby; don't pretend to have that alien thing pop out her belly. (You know from Space Balls!)

62. Laugh when Edward freaks.

63. Have a fake craving for pig's feet and BQ sauce.

64. Then throw it at Emmett when he hand it to her and demand he dance for her amusement.

65. Pretend to be horny when pregnant.

66. Give Jacob and Nessie the sex talk.

67. Prank call Charlie that the station is throwing him a going away party so be surprised.

68. Prank-call the president and convince him that evil alien cheerios are invading the Earth. (Bush people, sorry he had it coming.)

69. Convince Emmett that cheerios are evil and the want to eat him when he's sleeping.

70. Embarrass Nessie on her first date with Jacob.

71. Beat Emmett in arm wrestling again.

72. Go hunting in the zoo.

73. Seduce Edward then refuse sex.

74. Prank-call the Volturi with a reported sighting of a moonchild in Iceland.

75. Call Renée when she's at Bella's funeral pretending to be a ghost with a cell phone plan in heaven.

76. Secretly buy kinky outfits for her and Edward.

77. Buy Alice clothes from baby gap.

78. Accuse Edward of cheating with Tanya

79. Then slap Edward and demand a divorce.

"I can't believe we had to make a new list for Bella." Jacob said as he cuddled with Nessie as she rubbed her pregnant stomach. (She's grown up, and they are married.)

"What does he mean a new list?" asked Nessie. She looked to Edward/Daddy for an answer.

Edward opened a box that was caked with dust and pulled out an old piece of paper and handed it to his daughter. "The first one was made before you were born when your mom was human." She read over the list, giggling the whole time. When she reached the last one she gasped and looked at Jacob.

"My mother hit you in the jewels with a bat!" Nessie yelled, everyone laughed and except Jacob and Nessie. Nessie was about to growl at them when a noise came from the basement. Curiosity taking over them they walked/waddled to the basement. What they saw scared the shit out of them, well if they could shit. They found Bella dressed up as Hannah Montana and singing 'The Best of Both Worlds', she was even wearing the wig.

Her back was turn from her family and she was facing a row of chairs. In the chairs sat all of Neisse's old stuffed animals. Including Buggie Brown her favorite stuffed dog. (A/N: He's on the profile, he's my favorite stuffed dog I won at a fair my town holds every year.)

***

Oh yeah
Come on

You get the limo out front
Hottest styles, every shoe, every color

Yeah, when you're famous it can be kinda fun
It's really you but no one ever discovers

In some ways you're just like all your friends
But on stage you're a star

You get the best of both worlds
Chill it out, take it slow
Then you rock out the show

You get the best of both worlds
Mix it all together and you know that it's the best of both worlds

The best of both worlds

You go to movie premiers (is that Orlando Bloom?)
Hear your songs on the radio
Livin' two lives is a little weird (yeah)
But school's cool cuz nobody knows

Yeah you get to be a small town girl
But big time when you play your guitar

You get the best of both worlds
Chillin' out take it slow
Then you rock out the show

You get the best of both worlds
Mix it all together and you know that it's the best of both
(You know the best) You know the best of both worlds

Pictures and autographs
You get your face in all the magazines
The best parts that you get to be who ever you wanna be

Yeah the best of both
You get the best of both
Come on best of both

Who would of thought that a girl like me
Would double as a superstar

You get the best of both worlds
Chillin' out, take it slow
Then you rock out the show

You get the best of both worlds
Mix it all together and you know that it's the best,

You get the best of both worlds
Without the shades and the hair
You can go anywhere

You get the best of both girls
Mix it all together
Oh yeah
It's so much better cuz you know you've got the best of both worlds

***

When she was down she heard Nessie, Jacob and the baby's heart beats. She turned around and if she was still human she would be red. "This isn't what it looks like!" Bella held up her hands in defense.

Nessie wobbled over to Buggie and snatched him up. "I was wondering where he went! Mom how could you?!" Her pregnancy hormones got the best of her and she began to cry into Buggie's head. Jacob carried her to bed and after their shock Alice created a new rule:

80. Dress up like a music celebrities; then dance and sing in front of stuffed animals.

"You know, I didn't even see that coming." Alice said as they left the basement. Edward was still in shock. "That's why she has that wig; I thought it was for kinky sex….damn." He mumbled to his self.

A/N: hi hope you love this update! Big thanks to Starthevampire, she created the idea for the ending! Please review! If you do you get more updates!