Author's Note: "Wibbly Wobbly", Part II.
I love Dawn in this series of short stories. Every time I reread what I've written, I'm always smiling when I get to the Dawn parts. She's bratty and teenagery and kind of annoying, but... she's so completely awesome!
When you get to the end... don't think that the Doctor is just acting perfect and trying to fix all of Buffy's mistakes and be super-Buffy. After all... guess who he's not planning to tell?
Part II
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Donna had been rushed off to the hospital in an ambulance. The Doctor had gone with her. Buffy had stayed behind to ride in Riley's car, so she could shout at him.
"So?" Buffy asked. "Are you going to tell me what that was about?"
"It was an accident," Riley said, the horror and panic still searing through his voice. "I swear! I never meant to kill an innocent…. I mean… look, I'll pay for the surgery. I'll do whatever it takes to make it up to Donna. I promise. I'll make sure she's—"
"You tied up one of my best friends," Buffy cut in, in a voice that was far more calm and level than she felt, "in my bathtub. And tried to shoot him. In the head."
Riley said nothing for a long moment.
"Oh," he said, at last. "You're talking about that."
Buffy crossed her arms.
"Buffy," said Riley. "I… I love you. Really. That's why I did it."
"You tried to murder one of my best friends because you love me?" Buffy cried. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
Riley didn't look at her, just muttered into his steering wheel, "You didn't get this worked up when I pulled a gun on Angel last year."
"Angel attacked you!" Buffy snapped. "The Doctor's never done anything to you, Riley, and you've done everything wrong to him! Last year, you locked the Doctor up in the Initiative so he was tortured for two months!"
"That was different," Riley told her. "Last time, I did the wrong thing. This time, I was provoked."
"You clobbered him across the head the moment he walked through the door, tied him up so he couldn't fight back, and tried to kill him in such a way that he wouldn't regenerate!" said Buffy. "How the hell were you provoked?"
"You told me he was going to kill me!" Riley retorted.
"I said someone was out to kill you," Buffy said. "I never said it was him."
"It wasn't that hard to work out," Riley told her. "In my view, this was self-defense."
"You tied him up in my bathtub!" Buffy exclaimed.
"And you tied him up in your bed!" Riley shouted.
Buffy gawped at him. "What are you talking about?" she asked.
"Oh, don't play innocent," said Riley. "I'm not stupid, Buffy. I know what's going on between you two. You save the world with him way more than you ever save it with me."
"I'm the Slayer!" said Buffy. "It's my job to save the world! And I save it with him, because he happens to be really good at it!" She stared at Riley. "Is that what this was really about? Jealousy?"
"No," said Riley. "I wouldn't have done it if he'd still been one of the good guys. It was only when I worked out what he was doing to your mother…"
"What?" Buffy cried. "Riley, what are you talking about?"
"You told me that he was out to murder someone," said Riley. "And you assumed it was me, because you thought he was above murdering your family. But that's exactly what he's doing!"
"The Doctor isn't trying to kill Mom," said Buffy. "That's ridiculous."
"The moment he started showing up in order," said Riley, "your Mom started feeling sick. And you know he wanted to kill someone you'd never forgive him for killing."
"If you think this stupid excuse is going to make up for the fact that you shot someone in my house—"
"He told me!" Riley shouted. "I didn't even tell him who it was, and he knew exactly who I was talking about. He said, as reasons to kill him went, that was a very good one!"
Buffy said nothing for a moment. She just kept remembering, when the Doctor had first told her about this, that time he'd been all depressed and stuff —
He had a good reason. A very good reason. You'll think so, too, when it happens.
And if the Doctor really was trying to kill her mother… Buffy had no idea what she'd do, then. The idea had never even occurred to her. Her family? No, he'd never…
Except… he'd never actually said it was one of her friends he was trying to kill. And the Doctor always had been scared of her mother, hadn't he?
And Buffy might be really, really against killing the Doctor, but if the Doctor really was the person killing her mom… she honestly wasn't sure what she'd do to him, if that were the case. Nothing good.
Worst thing I've ever done… my granddaughter… hate me forever… become your greatest enemy… no rule I wouldn't break… have to do something that will make me hate myself…
It all fit far, far too well. Scarily well.
Buffy shook her head. "You still shouldn't have tried to shoot him."
"What else did you want me to do?" asked Riley. "Let him keep running free while your mother got sicker and sicker?"
"You should have told me!" Buffy snapped. "I'm the Slayer. The Doctor is my responsibility."
"Buffy, if I'd told you, you probably would have throttled your mother yourself," said Riley. "You'd do anything the Doctor told you, no matter how horrible it was."
Buffy gaped. "How could you even say that?"
"It's true!" Riley snapped. "If any of the rest of us mere mortals did — even once — what the Doctor does all the time, you'd flip. Cajoling vampires into drinking his blood. Standing aside and doing nothing, while innocent people are locked up and tortured — or even slaughtered — just because he 'has to'. Creating evil monsters. Actively working against you when you're out on patrol. Murdering your family."
"Stop it," Buffy muttered, looking away.
"No, I'm not going to stop!" said Riley. "You are so obsessed with him, you can't think straight. Where's it going to end, Buffy? When's he going to make you do something you can't take back?" He breathed harder. "You know what he told me? At some point in your future, you're going to hate him. You're going to hate him so much, you're going to trick him into killing off the entire town of Sunnydale. 38,000 people."
Buffy's head snapped back towards Riley. "Wait, 38,000?"
"He's not the guy you think he is," said Riley. "He's not…"
But Buffy wasn't listening anymore. Because she just kept thinking… Elizabeth tricked him? He wasn't saying 2003 was all his fault? An earlier Doctor, a different story about 2003. That was something she had to write down in the notebook.
But only after she was done yelling at Riley, and then making sure the Doctor wasn't killing her mom. (And possibly hitting him very, very hard if he was. Several times. Maybe more than several times. Possibly hurting him until he fixed everything and made her mom okay again.)
"Riley," said Buffy, in a dark, dangerous voice, "don't you ever, ever do anything to the Doctor again, do you understand? Not even if you think you have a really good reason. Because if you do one more horrible thing to the Doctor, I'm going to make sure you get locked up for the rest of your life."
"You can't convict me of murder," said Riley. "I know the law. If it's not human, it's not murder."
"I've got a friend in Cardiff," said Buffy, "who would be more than happy to disagree. And that guy's immortal, so you wouldn't be getting out of jail for a long time. I might not hurt humans, but if you harm the Doctor, I can still make sure you suffer for it."
"You're going to let a vampire lock me up?" asked Riley.
"Jack's human," said Buffy. "Immortal, human, completely in love with the Doctor, and not someone you want to mess with. I'm pretty sure if I called him up on the phone right now and said you just tried to murder the Doctor in my bathtub, he'd be down here in about thirty seconds, arresting you. And if I told him what you did last year, Jack might start using you as target practice. So you'd better stay very, very far away from the Doctor from now on. No matter what happens. You got that?"
"Look, Buffy, I'm sorry," said Riley. "I didn't think."
"No, you did think!" Buffy cried. "That's why I'm mad at you. This wasn't a crime of passion. You were trying to work out exactly where to shoot him to stop him regenerating. You've obviously given this a large amount of thought!"
Riley said nothing.
"How often have you thought about killing the Doctor?" Buffy demanded.
"Not… as much as you'd think," Riley muttered.
Buffy's jaw dropped. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Not every single second of the day!" Riley insisted.
"But a lot?"
Riley paused. "Possibly."
"Before any of this stuff started happening with Mom?"
A much longer pause. Then, "Yes."
Buffy gawped at him. "Why?"
"Because he's an alien bastard who will do anything to make sure you don't love me!" Riley said.
"You're completely insane!"
"No, you're the one who's insane," said Riley. "He shows up, and says he's to blame for all these terrible things. Confesses that he's murdered billions of people! And you don't believe him, you don't think he's killed all the people he claims he has, because he's better than all that, and you're sure—"
"Riley, by his standards, you're a mass murderer, and so am I!" Buffy snapped. "He considers vampires and soul-less monsters people. One of the species he's torn up about killing is the Daleks. You've met the Daleks. Tell me—"
"Are you in love with him?" Riley demanded.
Buffy stared at Riley. "What?"
"You heard me," said Riley. "Are you in love with him?"
"Riley, I'm in love with you!" Buffy insisted.
"That's not a no," said Riley. He glanced over at her. "Just tell me this. How many times have you slept with him?"
"Zero," said Buffy.
"Dawn said you two have been playing out serious bondage fantasies together," said Riley. "Handcuffs? Chains? Tying to the bed?"
"Dawn told you what?" Buffy cried. Oh, Dawn was so dead the next time she saw her! "Riley, I don't even understand what the Doctor considers sex. I'm sure I haven't had it with him."
"Insert tab A into slot B," said Riley.
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure that part's optional," said Buffy. "Hence the whole 'not understanding' thing."
"Then how do you know you haven't had it?" asked Riley.
"Well… I… know how it starts," Buffy admitted, sheepishly.
"So you did have sex with him!" Riley shouted.
"Okay, first, that was before I started going out with you," said Buffy. "Second, I was drugged and cave-womanny at the time. Third, it wasn't remotely like normal human sex, and we never took off our clothes. And fourth, this Doctor hasn't even lived through—"
"But it still felt like sex," Riley said.
Buffy blushed. "Maybe a little."
Buffy saw the veins in Riley's hand pulse as he clenched the steering wheel so tight, his knuckles turned white. His eyes blazed with anger, his neck completely tense. Buffy half expected him to turn around and sport red eyes and a frothing mouth, or something.
"What's wrong with you?" Buffy asked him.
"You had sex with him," said Riley.
"And that's a reason to murder someone?" Buffy cried. "Riley, just listen to yourself! You're not like this. I know you're not like this! The Riley Finn I know wouldn't go around trying to shoot people. He wouldn't—"
But then Buffy remembered the way that Riley reacted to the mere suggestion that Buffy had slept with Angel — before she and Riley had even met. The way he'd come into her dorm room, gun in hand, fully prepared to kill Angel for the crime of being her ex-boyfriend. And Buffy remembered how Riley had looked her in the eye, last year, and lied to her, over and over again, telling her that he hadn't seen the Doctor, that the Doctor was fine and she should forget about him. She remembered what Rory had mentioned to her, that summer — that every time Riley heard the Doctor's name, he instinctively seemed to reach for his gun. And Buffy realized she was wrong.
Riley Finn was exactly the kind of guy that would kill the Doctor.
They didn't speak the rest of the way to the hospital.
The Doctor arrived at the hospital, watching as Donna was wheeled into surgery. He heard a teenage voice that he recognized, and snapped his head around to find…
Dawn.
"Is that Donna?" Dawn asked, running over to him. "What happened to Donna? Is she okay?"
The Doctor stared at Dawn. She looked fine. Completely fine. Nothing appeared to be wrong with her. But Riley had said that something had happened to Dawn, hadn't he? Or had that just been a lie?
"Are you all right?" the Doctor asked Dawn.
"No!" said Dawn. "Donna's all bloody and stuff! What…" She trailed off, as she worked it out. Her eyes went wide. "Riley?"
The Doctor said nothing.
"Riley shot Donna?" Dawn cried. "Why would he do that?"
"Because that's what happens when you wave loaded guns around," the Doctor growled. "People die." He felt all the anger, all the hurt and pain and loss bubbling inside of him. "It should have been me."
Dawn tore her eyes away from the emergency room door, looking over at the Doctor. Then she swooped in, and gave him a great big hug.
The Doctor, puzzled, looked down at her. The girl who glowed with green energy. This terribly dangerous girl, the girl that — for the good of the universe — he should have killed. Hugging him.
"If anything ever happened to you," Dawn said, "Buffy would freak. Major freak."
After a few moments, the Doctor wrapped his arms around Dawn, and hugged her back.
By the time Buffy and Riley reached the hospital, Buffy found the Doctor with Dawn, by the emergency room. The Doctor was pacing the hallway, hand running through his hair, staring at his shoes, his mind clearly on other things. Dawn was just looking seriously worried.
Buffy still had no idea what to do about Riley. Which was probably one reason why Riley was hanging back, away from them. Although it also had something to do with the fact that Riley was trying to use his government connections and other resources to try to get better treatment for Donna.
(At least he was doing something right.)
Buffy went over to Dawn. "Any news on Mom?" she whispered.
Dawn shook her head. "Or Donna."
Buffy eyed the Doctor, trying not to let Riley's words sink in too deep. Because she needed to talk to the Doctor about this. She needed to ask him if it was true. And if it was — if he really was trying to murder her mother — and Buffy wasn't in complete control of herself when she found out, she knew she'd probably fly off the handle and kill the Doctor herself.
And hate herself, after she was done.
"Wait here," said Buffy. "I need to have a talk with the Doctor."
Buffy waited for Dawn to put in one of her comments about how Buffy was taking the opportunity to flirt with him, or something, but Dawn — for once in her life — showed some discretion. She just nodded, and sat back down in the chair.
Buffy took the Doctor by the arm, and, without even saying a word, led him aside — far enough away that Buffy hoped Dawn wouldn't overhear. She looked at the Doctor — at the pain and anger in his face, at the worry in his eyes.
"What's going on?" said Buffy.
"Your boyfriend just shot Donna," the Doctor told her.
"Not that," said Buffy. "Excalibur."
"Stable," said the Doctor. "Under control."
"You said you weren't going to kill anyone, anymore."
The Doctor didn't answer, his eyes fixed on the floor. Every inch of his face blaming himself, over and over again, for what had happened earlier today, to Donna.
Or… for what he was doing to someone else?
"Doctor," said Buffy, trying to keep herself as calm as humanly possible. "What's happening to my mother?"
The Doctor snapped his eyes up to her, a suddenly confused look on his face. "Your mother?" The confusion turned to worry. "Is something wrong with…?" He glanced over his shoulder at Dawn, and everything seemed to click in his mind.
"You… didn't know," Buffy realized. She wasn't sure whether to feel relieved that the Doctor hadn't been doing anything, or upset because it meant he wouldn't be able to cure this whatever-it-was. Or upset at Riley because he'd shot the Doctor for no reason. "But…" She shook her head. "But you said he had a good reason!"
"Who?"
"Riley!" Buffy insisted. "When you told me about this! You said…."
Except the Doctor had said a lot of things that weren't true, back then. He'd been seriously depressed, had probably just watched her die, and had been tortured into believing that he was the reason human beings killed each other. Of course he'd have thought Riley had a good reason, back then. Less than an hour after that, he'd told her he was the origin of evil in the universe and asked her to throw him into the Hellmouth.
"You should have just let him kill me," said the Doctor, his eyes fixed on the door to the emergency room. "You should have let him do it. At least then, he would have gotten it out of his system. At least then, this would never have happened to Donna."
"Donna's going to be fine," said Buffy. "People have survived gunshots and stuff before."
"What's the year, now?" asked the Doctor. "2000?"
Buffy nodded.
"I died, in this year," said the Doctor. "On one of those operating tables. In surgery for a bullet wound. Donna could die, right here and now, because of me. Because I brought her here, I brought her with me, and I was thick enough to think I could protect her. Thick enough to think…" He trailed off, the sorrow etched into every facet of his countenance. "I'm going to have to take her home," he whispered. "Tell her family. Let them know…"
Buffy sighed, and hugged the Doctor, tightly. "She's going to be okay," she said.
And she realized — for someone like the Doctor, who'd lost his family and his home planet and everyone and everything he ever had — Donna was family. That was how they acted around one another. Not just like friends, but like… siblings.
How would Buffy feel, if someone tried to kill Dawn?
The Doctor's eyes strayed over to Buffy. "What happened to your mother?"
"Dunno," said Buffy. "She just got really disoriented and collapsed. Dawn said it was like Mom didn't even recognize her for a moment."
The Doctor said nothing for a while, his arms wrapped around Buffy's small frame. "Dawn. Is she…?"
"She's sort of freaked," said Buffy. She pulled away. "I guess I should probably go comfort her."
The Doctor glanced over at Dawn. "Mother didn't recognize her…" he muttered. Then he cleared his throat, and a determined look settled across his face. "I think… I'd better have a word with her, myself. A… private word. One that's long, long overdue."
Buffy frowned. What was so important for the Doctor to tell Dawn that he didn't want Buffy to know about it? And why was he telling Dawn, of all people? Dawn would just blab it out to everyone else.
The Doctor took Buffy's hand in his own. "She's going to need a big sister, after I tell her this," he said. "Please. Help her. Tell her how much you love her. Tell her about all those wonderful times you two had together, all those amazing memories you shared. Remember them, Elizabeth. Always remember them. And please, make sure Dawn remembers them, too. Make sure she remembers they really happened."
Buffy was completely confused, now. The Doctor was up to something, but Buffy had absolutely no idea what. Did this have something to do with Excalibur? She didn't see how it could. Did Dawn have Excalibur? And if she did, how did that have anything to do with memory?
Buffy nodded at the Doctor, then turned and headed out the door, dragging Riley along with her, so they could give the Doctor and her sister some privacy. She'd hear about whatever it was soon enough. Dawn was never good at keeping secrets.
