Hi!

Is it just me, or does it seem like everyone on Fanfiction died between Christmas and now?

Well it does to me ;)

Anyway, thank you for waiting for so long for this chapter. I know I haven't been writing for a while, but life is pretty busy and complicated, so I haven't had much time to actually sit down and type. But here's another chapter, for your reading enjoyment.

R&R please!

(By the way, HAVE YOU SEEN THE HUNGER GAMES MOVIE YET? AWESOME! But the book was better ;))

After Mockingjay.

Chapter 10: Nightmares

For a week after the descent, the dreams hit hard and forceful. Each night brings a new terror to my mind. Each dream leaks fear into my waking life, and slowly poisons everything around me.

A blazing summer hits District 12, scorching the lush green grass, turning it yellow and brittle in the heat. The primroses that Peeta planted so long ago are gone, burned down into short stubs in the garden outside of our house. Everyone is residing in their houses, staving off the sunlight in their cool basements, or in the forest under the canopy of trees.

I have not gone into the Meadow since I left with Peeta, stumbling back home after the raid. After that we both slept until noon the next day, and even then we only left each other's sides to take showers and wash all of the dirt and grit out of our skin.

It was peaceful at times in that moment between dreaming and waking, where I could still feel Peeta's arms around me, and sleep tugging at my insides. But after that I was sucked into a dark hole full of terrors – never-ending. At least until I'm shaken awake by my new husband.

Husband. It feels weird to think of Peeta as my formal mate. For so long we had been together – husband and wife feel so mundane. Too simple.

But we are the same as we have always been. I move when he moves. He moves when I move. We are like magnets with opposite poles, always together.

Except now.

I slip out of bed before Peeta wakes on a sunny afternoon. We have often taken to the habit of staying up late and staring at the stars out of our window, until we fall asleep.

With a last glance at his arm thrown over the empty covers, I pull on my shoes and tip-toe down the stairs to the front door.

Once I'm outside, it is easier to breathe. Almost immediately after, though, a new terror grips me. I have delayed this visit for too long.

It's torn me up inside to imagine what he must think of me now. The last time I saw him, he was scared. He deserved support. But truthfully, I was just as frightened. And that's what stopped me.

My mother has been staying in one of the houses that have been empty ever since the bombing of District 12. After the raid, she set up a miniature healing centre there, dedicated to bringing the injured members of the team back on their feet.

The house is a big one, with ivy trailing its way up the brick walls and twining around the chimney, which is puffing smoke. The grass is seared, and the broken stones leading up to the front door crunch underneath my feet as I make my way up.

The door opens before I even have to knock. Standing there is my mother, her hair tied back in a scraggly mess, and her eyes rimmed with dark shadows. "Katniss," she breathes, and pulls me inside.

A ravage of smells hits my nose at once. A mix of burning herbs, sweat, and dread fill the air around me like a cloud. I could hear muffled snores and ragged breathing, all filtering through the thin walls.

"He's been asking for you," my mother says as she leads me into the kitchen. "The best medicine from the other Districts hasn't arrived yet, so I've given them herbal tea for the past couple days. Most of them have developed fevers, but nothing too serious." She picks up a steaming mug and totters down a hallway, where many doors lay.

"Are you the only one caring for them?" I ask.

"Afraid so," she stops outside of a gray door. Her face, which has stayed impassive since the time I have arrived changes into despair suddenly. "Katniss," she says, her voice hushed. "When the tunnel collapsed…a piece of rock pinned him and fractured a part of his spine. To attempt to repair…the pain would kill him."

It takes me a couple of seconds to absorb what she's really saying, and before the complete picture shows itself, she tells me.

"He may never walk again," she says, hushed in my mind now, but reverberating like the clang of a clock. "The only hope he has is if the bone mends itself, which is unlikely."

A hard stone has formed in my throat, and for a moment I can't swallow. Panic reaches in me and grabs me with its talons, and my mother realizes this. Before I can have a full blown panic attack, she shoves the mug of steaming liquid and pushes me through the door.

The clang of the wood against the frame barely registers on the surface of my mind. All I can see is the room, and who is in it.

Gale is lying in a small bed, his pale face stark against the bedspread. His eyes are closed, two black bruises on his head. I am suddenly struck by the fragility of him right now, completely motionless and frozen in the doorway.

I force myself to move, to go to him. I kneel beside the bed, cup still clutched tightly in my hand, and stare. He looks bad. Really bad.

A small groan issues from his mouth, and his eyes flutter open. Once those gray irises focus on me, I can feel my heart tripping in my chest.

"Gale," I whisper. Now that I'm faced with him, I have no idea what I'm going to do.

"Katniss," my name is slow coming from his mouth. He winces with pain as he tries to sit up.

Panicked, I force him down and shove the cup of liquid at him. "Here. My mother told me to give you this." My hands are shaking when I retract them. I'm so unsteady that I feel myself slipping into a dangerous place.

He takes the cup, but doesn't drink from it. "I…don't want to sound inconsiderate," his lips twist into a small smile. "But I don't think it will help anything."

If he wasn't in so much pain, I probably would have smirked. Instead, I smooth his hair back from his forehead. My stomach clenches when I notice that he's burning up. "I know." I say. "I just…" I trail off.

He sighs. "Don't beat yourself up. You had to leave me there. It wouldn't have made a difference."

I press my lips together. As much as I feel that it was my fault, I know he's right. There was nothing I could have done about it. "I can't help it," I say. "When you came out of the ground…you looked so scared, and that made me panic." I pause, swallowing the hard rock in my throat. "We're not supposed to be scared anymore. We're all supposed to be happy."

My words stumble to an abrupt halt when Gale reaches out from under the covers and grasps my hand.

"I know," he says gently. "But you should be happy. Just think about it," he smiles. "You're a married women now. You have all the time in the world to cuddle up next to your husband and eat bread all day."

I can feel my face growing hot, and I crack a smile. "That's not all he does, you know."

He holds up both of his hands in a surrendering motion. "I don't want to know."

I laugh. The tense moment seems to have been broken up for the moment, but it settles back quickly when my laughter fades from the air.

"I should have come sooner." I say.

He shakes his head. "No." He looks like he wants to say something else, but the words never present themselves.

Gale's eyes grow somber again. "Just to think…that I had all that stuff to do with my life…and now…it doesn't really seem possible."

The stone sets back in my throat. "You'll get better." I say, even though I know it is a lie. My mother even said that he might not ever get better.

Gale shakes his head, a bitter look on his face. "Just to think that I'll never walk again…I'll never be able to hunt with you. I won't even be able to walk down the road." He passes a hand in front of his face, and his eyes go almost emotionless. "It just seems…unreal."

One, thin tears slips down my face and lands on the bedspread silently. I press my palms to my eyes to stop the flow that has already started to come. Hearing Gale's anguish is like having a thousand spears stabbed through my body all at once. It's painful.

The slow creak of the door breaks me out of my moment. My hands drop to see Madge standing there, a small bouquet of wildflowers in her hands.

She stops, blushing, and gives a shy smile. "Hi Katniss." She says. "I…I was just here to see…"

"Right," I say, standing up. It's not that Madge's arrival unsets me – it's the fact that she was probably here dozens of times before I have. It clear that I've fallen short, failed at the one thing that I could give Gale right now – friendship. "I'll just…go."

I glance at Gale before I leave, who give a small smile as a goodbye. The corner of my mouth turns up a bit, but that's the best I could have probably done.

The trip downstairs is a blur. I don't even think I say goodbye to my mother before I sweep out of the front door, and make my way back to the house I share with Peeta. Frankly, I don't even remember the walk home. It was just a muddle of faces and paths, and then the familiar sight of the empty garden in front of the small residence.

Peeta is waiting for me inside. In the concerned look on his face, I see the knowledge of where I went. He knows that I went to see Gale. And he probably knew I would be twice as distraught when I returned.

I'm glad that my eyes are dry when I approach him. We're both silent for a moment.

"How is he?" Peeta asks after a while.

"He's f-" I begin, and then correct myself. "-Not good." I can feel my lip trembling.

He pulls me into an embrace, and I close my eyes. Don't lose it. I tell myself. Everything is going to be fine.

When we both pull apart, I feel calmer. At least until Peeta reaches past me to pick up something from the table.

A letter.

"This came for you," he says, handing it to me. The thick parchment has my name written in loopy letters on the front, and suddenly I feel dizzy.

"Who is it from?" I ask.

He shrugs. "Open it."

And so I do.

Just a word before I go – the next chapter probably won't come out for a long time. With exams – exams! – coming up, and everything else, I'm going to be really busy. But I'll try my best. Who knows, I might even surprise myself and finish this chapter before the holidays!