Lauren hadn't been out of bed since Briann was born, so she was glad for the short walk that she was taking with her wife and daughter around the farm right now. She had stopped bleeding completely, and she felt like she had some energy to burn. Her pelvic muscles were still sore, but that was to be expected considering she had just pushed out an eight pound kid. Still, she had a strong desire to move around. When Bo suggested the walk, Lauren didn't hesitate. Gram had let them borrow a stroller from her reserves since they had not come as prepared as they thought. When they got the stroller, Lauren almost literally jumped in anticipation. If her body wasn't still sore, she might have actually jumped.
Bo was pushing the stroller, and Lauren had her hand tucked around Bo's bicep as they walked. Lauren instantly relaxed when she was outside and they had started moving. The weather was warm, the breeze was pleasant, and the company was perfect. It was the most refreshing and amazing walk she had ever taken, and she looked forward to many more to come.
The quiet intensity of the past two weeks was enough to make her understand why women put themselves through the pain of childbirth. There were still aspects of her own labor that she didn't know how to explain. Gram said they had a lot to discuss, but Lauren just wanted their lives to be easy and just a little less dramatic for a bit longer.
Bo was guiding them to the lake where Lauren used to swim when she was younger. Even though she had been working on this farm daily for almost two years, Lauren hadn't been back here since she was young, before Grumps died. Roger and Hadley used to push her in the water when they were all little; she learned to swim and stand up for herself at this lake. When her mother made sure to lather more sunscreen on her than the others, it was the only time Lauren remembered feeling like she had her mother's attention. Her father had taught her how to splash the perfect cannonball. She used to swim around with baby Maureen in this water. The thought that she could do these things with her own daughter in the next few years coupled with this perfect walk made Lauren start to cry.
She didn't mean to cry.
She hated that her emotional responses weren't back to normal yet. There were times when she found herself getting angry just because she couldn't do something by herself; it was almost embarrassing having Bo help her out with bathing and dressing. She was a grown woman. Lauren couldn't understand why her body reacted so strongly to the labor. The pain she felt made her extremely aware that she was close to dying, but she really wasn't ready to admit it yet.
She was alive; that was enough for now. That was all she needed to know. She was alive. Bo was alive. Briann was alive. Everybody had survived yet another battle.
Kenzi's hand was healing, and she did make sure to examine it herself. The salve she was using to remove her stretch marks would help with some of the scarring, but Lauren couldn't prevent all of it. She didn't understand how she had burned Kenzi's hand so badly. She knew she was burning up during labor, and that her insides felt like a low grade fire, but Lauren didn't think she was literally on fire. What did that have to do with pregnancy? Why didn't Briann have any scars, since she actually moved through her?
Bo parked the stroller by the old wooden cabana that Grumps had built. He had brought her out here at the beginning of every summer to help fix it before everybody started to visit. Now, it was falling apart and needed a lot of maintenance, but it still brought a sense of safety that Lauren hadn't felt in years. There was something more beautiful in this moment when she realized it was the first time she got to share this place with her new family.
"I used to come here as a kid." Lauren moved the stroller so that she could pull Briann from it and hold her again, but she stopped when she noticed the baby was asleep in her lounged position in the overly cushioned stroller. Bo had gone overboard on extra blanket padding, but Lauren just smiled and let her wife do it. There was no use arguing with an overprotective Bo; plus, it didn't hurt the baby. They would both make sure of that.
"Yeah? Gram told me about this place when I was at the farm for the first time. She said it was magical, but I was always so preoccupied when we were here and completely forgot about it." Bo moved the stroller so that Briann was facing the worn, wooden bench underneath the shelter before grabbing Lauren's hand in hers and pulling them to sit down. "It's beautiful. If I'd known how secluded it was, I would have brought you here long ago."
"I'm sure the lake would've been the last thing on your mind." Lauren smiled, feeling this strong happiness envelop her entirety. Even her toes were smiling, despite the soreness she felt in her legs from lack of use lately. "I know you want more kids, Bo, but…"
"I won't ask you to do anything you don't want. I felt how hard that was for you. If I had known…" Bo looked down at the sleeping baby before squeezing their hands together. "I'm sorry."
"Never apologize. I wanted this just as much; she wouldn't exist if I didn't. I knew it wouldn't be easy. Nothing ever is with us." Lauren laid her head on Bo's shoulder and looked out at the lake. The calm waters were rippling from the breeze in the air, and Lauren shivered from the visual cues more than an actual cold feeling. "But it's worth it."
"Still, I can't ask you to do that; not knowing how much it hurts you. I never want to hurt you. I hate when you feel any pain." Bo unclasped their hands and wrapped Lauren into a half embrace. "I felt you; when I walked in that room, when I saw our daughter. I felt what you felt. I can sense when you're feeling pain, but I've never actually felt your pain before. It was new, and I wasn't ready for that. I'm sorry I passed out."
"Yeah, some badass you are." Lauren smiled but hid her face in Bo's neck, loving the familiar scents that she had missed that week they weren't beside each other. Since she crawled into bed with her a week ago, Bo hadn't left her side. When she became overprotective like this, it was both frustrating and great. Lauren loved that nobody else in her life had ever taken care of her like this; even better, Lauren loved that she had finally allowed somebody to take care of her for a change. It made her feel even more loved than she knew was even possible.
"No, I think you are the official badass in this family now." Bo had shown a strong vulnerability since Briann was born. Lauren had never seen her wife cry so much, and she knew that the succubus was scared. They still didn't know what to expect. Sure, their daughter was here now, but the hard part was just beginning. Raising a kid was hard enough, but they had to raise a kid that really could be anyone or anything. The unknown scared them both, but if ever there were parents who could handle that, they were it.
"I heard Evony came by again?" Lauren had seen how different the Morrigan acted around Bo, but knowing why that was now made her chuckle lightly.
"Yeah, she keeps sending gifts, too. If I didn't know what frankincense was before, I do now. It's like we just gave birth to the new fae messiah or something. If I thought she was acting weird before…" Bo sighed, and Lauren felt the tension start to resurface. She had tried her hardest not to show that tension in front of Lauren, but with Bo, there was unfortunately always something to be tense about. She attracted things, even when she was trying to hide from the world. Nothing could touch them here on neutral ground without penalty. Lauren was starting to wonder if that was why Gram was leaving the house to them. "I didn't think it was possible for Evony to up her weird factor."
"Well, you technically own her now. She's just trying to please her master." Lauren had forgotten to tell Bo that she had discovered why Evony was being weird. It was so hilarious and obvious that she scolded herself for being so focused on the difficult aspects that usually surrounded them that she missed the simple explanations. Then again, she had a reasonable excuse for letting it slip her mind. "That book Lachlan suggested? The Yeats one on fairy tale creatures?"
"Yeah?" Bo really tensed now. Her wife hated anything that had to do with slavery and ownership; it always seemed to bring extra drama to their doorstep. "What about it?"
"Yeats explained the leanan sidhe and what happens when you refuse one's…advances. He was a human bard, but I'm not surprised he would know about the fae." Lauren smiled despite feeling how unfunny Bo found this. "When you turned down the Morrigan for a feed and sex, she became your slave. You own her now. It's why she does everything you ask her, grants you every request, and sends you things without having to ask for them."
"That explains why the grocery boy keeps delivering Piles of Pecans to the house at ungodly hours." Bo released her from the embrace. Lauren watched her wife's reaction as she registered what this actually meant. It surprised her when Bo didn't show any anger. "I don't trust this. She's the Morrigan; there's no way anybody owns her."
"Well, she probably didn't think you'd turn her down. Evony doesn't make offers she can't make; it's why her assistant is a seniatta. She probably wasn't counting on your mindset at the time." Lauren narrowed her eyes and studied her wife as Bo stood and starting pacing. Still, there was no anger. "If I hadn't been in the picture, and if you hadn't been so primal at the time trying to get me pregnant, would you have said yes? You can be honest. I know Evony is quite...appealing."
"No." Bo stopped pacing and looked like she was offended. Her features softened before she came to sit back down beside her. "Lauren, no. I… sure, she's attractive, and much as I loathe to admit it, I have it on good authority that she's good in bed, but Lauren, no. Evony is…there's always something going on; she wouldn't have asked me for sex unless she was planning something. No matter how hungry I was, I would have known that."
"Can I be honest about something?" Lauren loved that she felt this familiar comfort and openness with Bo. The only other person she was honest and open with this much was Kenzi. Now that she had this with two people, Lauren realized how tragic her life really was pre-Bo.
"Always." Bo was obviously scared about her admission. It wasn't always the best way to start a conversation, she admitted, but Lauren was glad they were making improvements in their communication and not avoiding as much as they used to.
"There were times, after I first started working for the Light fae, after Emily, that I probably would have said yes if the Morrigan offered herself again." Lauren could remember her first year working for the fae; she was granted even less freedom than before she met Bo and was kept on a much tighter leash. Her misery being away from the world with no friends or family had made her finally start to build confidence. After that first year, she had accepted her fate and did her best to become the model ward. It wasn't long until she was running the lab on her own. While patients didn't come to her directly at first, the Ash ordered them to, and she was always the one sent whenever medical attention was needed outside of the compound. She had somehow become a favorite of the Light fae in her time with them.
"I know, Lauren; just like I know you would've turned her down now." Bo never pushed her to talk about her past; it was an unspoken agreement that the past wasn't absolutely necessary to build a relationship. It was who they were now that really mattered. "I'm not so jealous that I can't accept people rocked your socks before me."
"There weren't many." Lauren bit her lip and looked over at her wife. Bo knew how many lovers Lauren had; she could count them on two hands. She had always thought having that many lovers was a lot given who she was, but Lauren didn't realize how little that number could be until she met a succubus. She didn't realize that numbers didn't really matter until she fell in love with that same succubus. "There won't be anybody but you for me, but Bo, if I die first…I don't want you to be alone. I won't be the reason you ever have to be alone."
"Bullshit, Lauren. Even if I only have one day with you, I'll always have that one day. It's better than never having you at all. You really have ruined me for anybody else; you know that, right?" Bo was always so adamant when they talked marriage. The succubus never considered the consequences and the loneliness she would suffer. Bo was always so focused in the now that she didn't usually consider the future. As a succubus, she would still be able to feed and have sex, but to never experience that intimacy again? Lauren couldn't ask Bo to do that. "You want this as much as I do. I know it. Turn your damn rationality off for a second and think about yourself. Think about us. What do you want?"
"You. This. Us. I just…Bo, I can't be selfish. You have so much love in you; it will tear you apart if you can't experience that again."
"I won't need to, Lauren. Don't you get it? You give me more than enough. You even gave me a daughter. I'll never be alone, and I don't care if I get points off for being cheesy; you'll always be with me." Bo dropped to her knees between Lauren's legs and pulled their hands together. "This is the only time I'll ever beg. I want to be officially married to you in the fae sense. I want to be yours in every way possible. I know what that means. I know you want to protect me, but Lauren…you're it for me. You're my one, so stop being you for a second and admit that you want this, too."
"I never said I didn't want it. I've always wanted it, Bo." Lauren cleared her throat, feeling her face flush. She felt herself get emotional again as she started to feel her tears falling. She wiped them away and chuckled lightly. "Not fair; you with the grand romantic gesture and bringing me here of all places. You planned this."
"Maybe a little?" Bo stayed on her knees, but she pulled Lauren's hands to kiss her open palms. "Trick gives his blessing; Gram gives hers. We have the required family approval necessary to make it legal. Gram said this was where your grandfather proposed full fae marriage to her after they moved here to the farm."
"I didn't know that." Lauren was actually surprised that Bo knew something about her family that she didn't. Gram was careful with the information she gave about the fae world, but she was usually not as reserved about her own life, especially when it came to her and Grumps. Why would she never tell Lauren about how special this place was to her? It made it that much more magical. "How can I say no now?"
"That's the idea." Bo smirked that cocky smirk, thinking she had already won. Lauren rolled her eyes in amusement, knowing that she really had. "This doesn't mean we have to have a wedding or anything. I just want the fae world to know that I am officially, 100% utterly in love and devoted to you. It's the one thing that's missing in our files."
"This is about those stupid files?" Lauren felt herself tense for a second, extremely aware at her still apparent mood swings when her anger started to flare. Luckily, her control was still there, and she managed to huff out her anger in one long breath.
"No; this is about us." Bo kissed Lauren's palms again. "I'm not getting up until you say yes. I can stay here all day if I need to. Eventually, Briann will wake up and need food. It'll get cold out here. People will send a search party. I know you, Lauren Lewis; you'll give in."
"You're incorrigible." Lauren smiled at the confidence in her wife; Bo was playful in that confidence, which had always appealed to her.
"That wasn't a yes." Bo was making it a point to make Lauren aware that she wasn't being pulsed. She held her hands up between them so that Lauren could see them. If she was saying yes, she was doing so of her own free will.
"We still have a lot to discuss." Lauren swallowed hard. She didn't expect to feel so…wanted. "A fae has never fully fae married a human. I'm not sure they'll even let us."
"That wasn't a yes."
"If we do this, there's no going back." Lauren knew she was stalling now. She wasn't sure why, though. Bo was obviously not going to give up until she gave in; her wife was quite persistent. Bo hadn't changed her mind and had tried to start this conversation several times since she found out this was even a possibility. She never worried about the consequences once; she knew what she wanted and she was willing to go for it. Lauren envied her for being able to do that. "Fae who marry can't get divorced for a thousand years, but when you pledge full fae marriage, that's it. No divorce; no one ever again."
"That wasn't a yes." Bo smirked at her. Lauren knew she could be really mean right now and say no, but there was no way she was saying anything but yes to this woman.
"Yes." Lauren took a deep breath and just stared down at her wife. Bo only smiled back before leaning up to kiss her, cupping Lauren's face and keeping their mouths together as she stood from the ground. For the first time since giving birth, Lauren ignored the soreness and pain that still surrounded her body and stood to meet Bo and embrace her fully through the long, warm kiss. "For somebody so obsessed with people having the ability to make choices, you sure didn't give me much of one."
"Because I already knew the answer." Bo's eyes were hooded and sparkly. It was that same expression of victory she usually had in her eyes after a big win. "At least the one you really wanted to give. I just had to make sure you said what you really wanted."
"I never would have said no." Lauren cleared her throat again. The soft snores coming from the stroller brought them back to their surroundings as Lauren released their embrace. She was sore and tired and needed to get back to the house soon, but she wouldn't tell Bo that. Lauren went to undo the brake on the wheels before starting to push Briann back across the fields. Bo immediately came to take her position, and Lauren allowed her.
"I know that, but you were also having a really hard time saying yes." Bo looked over at her, pulling Lauren's arm back around her bicep so that they could walk like they were before. Lauren smiled and snuggled closer, feeling the strength that Bo was sending her. "I just had to make it easier for you."
"I really wanted to tell you, Bo. I did. I've wanted to ever since…ever since…" Lauren took a deep breath. "Just…yes. If you're sure this is what you really want, then yes. Yes, we can file the papers when we get back."
"Oh, three yeses. You're full of them now. See? It's not as hard as you thought." Bo smirked at her, and Lauren felt that familiar intensity in their bond. If she didn't know any better, she would say they were glowing again; only this time, no sex was required.
