Author's Note: "Home", Part IV.

Honestly, when I was coming up with this story, I had no idea about the minions thing. It just seemed really in keeping with the Doctor's character. Everything that comes from this I just made up as I was writing.

Next section, we get the Doctor meeting Glory. I'm talking serious Doctor Whump. But funny.

(Honestly, the Doctor snarkiness factor in the Seventh Segment is off the chart!)


Part IV

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They were on the way to Buffy's house, and Dawn and Donna, it seemed, had completely moved on from the incident earlier. They were now being their usual noisy, chattering selves, discussing — who even knew? (Those two really did get along surprisingly well.)

The Doctor hadn't said a word since Riley.

Buffy was worried about him. No, actually, she was just worried in general. Because… she'd been intimate with Riley since then. And if she'd remembered, she'd never have done that. Their relationship was falling apart, and she couldn't remember it.

What had the Doctor said? That time had folded him out or something?

And Buffy was worried about herself. Dracula had sensed a terrible darkness inside of her. A darkness she, herself, could feel. And the thing was — what the Doctor had said about Riley (you might have done it yourself) had scared her. A lot. Because she really might have. Sure, the Doctor might not consider trying to kill him to be a crime, but Buffy definitely did. And if the Doctor had gone anywhere even remotely past the thinking stage of his plan — if he'd actually pulled a gun on Dawn, or threatened her, or anything — Buffy thought she might have done it.

(Elizabeth had wanted to, hadn't she?)

Buffy hung back a little, so that she walked right beside the Doctor. She gave him a one armed hug. He glanced over at her, raising an eyebrow.

"Sorry I hit you, earlier," said Buffy.

"Ah," said the Doctor. "Actually, that's fine. Completely fine. Deserved a lot worse, really."

"You didn't go through with it, in the end," Buffy pointed out. She nodded over at Donna. "She's a good influence on you."

"Donna Noble," said the Doctor, with a grin of pride. "Absolutely brilliant, she is. And wonderfully human."

Buffy nodded. And she just kept thinking — she'd been prepared to beat the Doctor into a bloody pulp because he'd just thought about killing her sister, and had then gone on to save Dawn's life. But here the Doctor was, and… Donna had been shot — possibly killed — for no reason. By Riley.

And the Doctor had walked right up to Riley and done nothing. No revenge killings, no beating him up, not even a harsh word. Just… nothing.

It wasn't because the Doctor couldn't take Riley in a fight. Buffy knew that the Doctor was a heck of a lot stronger than he looked, and didn't usually even resort to physical attacks to win when fighting against his enemies. If Riley decided to go up against the Doctor in a fight, and the Doctor wasn't doing his passive thing of not-fighting-back, Riley would lose. Big time.

It wasn't because the Doctor didn't care about Donna, either. Buffy knew that. The Doctor and Donna were close — close enough to be siblings.

It wasn't because the Doctor had forgiven Riley — he hadn't, that much was obvious in his eyes.

And it wasn't because he didn't do revenge — she'd seen him when he got really angry at evil creatures, and he could be pretty vicious.

No, the Doctor had had every reason to do something truly terrible to Riley, he just… hadn't. He'd let Riley go, with no further punishment beyond the Doctor's complete dismissal of Riley — as if Riley wasn't even worth his time.

That was true power, Buffy thought. The power to know you could do anything you wanted, and still make the choice not to.

"How do you do that?" asked Buffy.

"Be human?" asked the Doctor. He blew a breath out of his cheeks. "Would have thought you'd know better than me."

"No, I mean… let someone go like that," said Buffy. "You only just met Riley the day he shot Donna. I know what you do to people who threaten your companions. But you just walked away."

"Donna's fine," said the Doctor. "And I'm fine. And really, there are an extraordinary number of people in the universe looking to kill me. For far, far worse reasons. I've gotten used to it."

Trust him to skirt around the issue.

"Doctor," Buffy said. "Riley shot Donna. And you let him go. If it had been me, instead, if it had been Dawn…" she shook her head. "I wish I were more like you."

The Doctor's expression darkened. "Don't."

"Huh?"

"Be human," he told her. "Always strive to be more human."

Buffy was about to question the Doctor on this, when five demons — all with green skin and two rows of spikes along the tops of their heads, and spikes along their jaw — swooped down out of nowhere, and surrounded them. The Doctor dropped the bags onto the ground, and stepped in front of Dawn and Donna, sonic screwdriver in hand.

"You know, I was just saying," the Doctor said to the demons, "no trip to Sunnydale's ever complete unless I've been nearly killed at least once."

Boy, was that ever the truth.

Buffy moved into a fighting stance. "What do you want?" she demanded of them.

"We've been hired out," said the lead demon. "A contract."

"Oh, brilliant!" said the Doctor, grinning. "They're mercenaries."

"Yeah, well, to get to them, you'll have to go through me, first," said Buffy. "And you really, really don't want to do that."

"We don't need to harm any of the others," said the demon. He pointed a spiky finger towards the Doctor. "Just the Time Lord."

Buffy glanced over her shoulder at the Doctor. "You're right. You really can't take two steps without someone wanting to kill you."

"Well, I am a thoroughly obnoxious person," the Doctor said. He went up to her, put a hand on her shoulder, and whispered into her ear, "Get Dawn and Donna out of here. Make sure they're safe. If I'm not back in five hours, tell Donna to run emergency program one on the TARDIS. That'll take her home."

"I'm not…" Buffy trailed off, as she noticed the Doctor's expression. He was afraid, she realized. Afraid that this was a trap, that they were trying to separate Dawn from the Doctor and Buffy. Buffy had to trust that the Doctor would get out of this alive. Because she needed to make sure that Dawn was safe.

And if anything happened to Donna, the Doctor might never forgive her.

Buffy took Dawn and Donna in hand, and tugged them away.


The Doctor looked back over at the demons. "Right, yes! You want to kill me. Perfectly reasonable. But… if I'm going to die, let me die happy. You're mercenaries, aren't you? Hit men? So, who hired the hit?"

"That does not concern you," said the lead demon.

"Actually, I'd argue it concerns me quite a bit," said the Doctor. "Seeing as I'm the one being killed and all that."

The Doctor began inching back, his eyes darting around to take in his surroundings. The demons followed him, keeping the distance between them constant. Making sure he knew he couldn't get away.

"We cannot violate client confidentiality," the lead demon informed him.

"Aw, go on!" said the Doctor, continuing to inch away. "Who am I going to tell? I'll be dead in a few seconds, anyways."

The demons faltered. Then the lead demon seemed to decide that the Doctor had clearly lived long enough, and gave a feral roar, preparing to slash out at his victim.

But the Doctor was ready, now. He'd noticed his surroundings, noticed the large tree branch that was nearly ready to snap overhead. He had maneuvered the demons into exactly the right position, and with a single buzz of his sonic, the tree branch snapped, and crashed on top of the pursuing demons.

That wouldn't hold them for long.

The Doctor turned, and ran. He could hear the demons, behind him, throwing the branch off of them, could hear the heavy thunk of demon footsteps pursuing him. But he kept running. Down the street, over a fence and through a backyard, trying to lose them.

The demons pursued him with a stubborn determination. And the Doctor was guessing they could run for longer than he could.

The Doctor's ultimate goal was the TARDIS. If he could make it back there, he could dematerialize and rematerialize in Buffy's house, just to make sure that everyone else had gotten away all right. But the TARDIS had materialized on the path that Buffy and the others would take to get back home, and the Doctor wanted these demons as far away from the others as possible.

So he continued to run.

He led them on a merry chase, round the entire town of Sunnydale, carefully avoiding the more populated areas — or, at least, trying to — before, eventually, winding up back at his TARDIS. And… yes! He could see the blue wood just ahead, could see the familiar illuminated windows at her top, and there was no one else nearby, no Buffy or Dawn or Donna, no one he had to worry about. He dug the key out of his pocket as he approached, ready to unlock the door…

That was when a net fell across him.

The Doctor stumbled and fell, as the net wound, tightly, around his body. Ooh, a net constructed of rope using a particularly rare alien fungus, which had landed on Earth long ago and only grew in a very small number of places, which would cling to body heat and attach itself to the nearest living creature.

As if this wasn't bad enough, a bunch of short troll-looking creatures ran out from where they'd been hiding behind his TARDIS, and began tying him tightly with regular ropes, securing him so that he couldn't move if he'd wanted to.

The demons that had been pursuing him slowed, as they noticed the trolls. Ah, so these were the employers. Which didn't exactly answer what these trolls wanted with him, and why they'd changed their minds about wanting to kill him.

"We have fulfilled our contract," the lead demon said.

Ah, so they hadn't changed their minds. They'd been hired to pretend to kill him, so they could separate him from the others, and then let him get captured.

It was actually quite an ingenious plan.

The trolls threw the demons a bag of something, and the lead demon caught it, then marched off.

"Well, that was rather brilliant planning on your parts," said the Doctor. "Have to say, I'm quite impressed. I'm the Doctor, by the way. And you are?"

"We are but specks of dust in the eyes of our wonderful, glorious, splendiferous mistress!" said the minion nearest him. "Tremble, puny mortal, for she desires to speak with you."

"Ah, mistress," said the Doctor. "She wouldn't happen to be blond, terribly angry, incredibly strong, and called 'the Abomination', then, would she?"

One of the minions grabbed the Doctor by his tie, hoisting him up and nearly choking him. "You will honor our mistress!" he snapped. "Praise her! Worship her! Or she will crush you like an ant."

"Oh, so she's one of those sorts," said the Doctor. He surveyed the minions, carefully. "You certain she's quite as wonderful as all that? You all look a wee bit bruised and beaten. I'm going to guess she isn't treating you nearly as well as you deserve."

"We are nothing next to her," said another minion. "We live only to serve her worshipfulness."

"Bet the hours aren't so good," said the Doctor. "And, well, compensation must be a nightmare. And as for the retirement package — needless to say, there isn't one, is there?" He grinned at them. "Sounds like a bit of a rubbish job to me."

"And who are you to doubt the might and strength of she who we serve?" the minion holding the Doctor by his tie demanded.

"I'm the Doctor," said the Doctor. "And I'm the best friend you'll ever have. Because I'm the one person who can give you a better life."

"Our lives are perfect as they are!" another minion put in. "What more perfection could we want, beyond serving she who gives our lives meaning?"

"You're frightened of her," the Doctor said. "I understand that. She's made you feel as if you are beneath her, as if your lives are nothing. But think about yourselves as individuals. As people. Real, honest people who matter. Are you happy? Truly happy? Is this the life you really want? For yourselves, your loved ones, your children? Or would you rather be free to choose for yourselves, free to think for yourselves? Because I can give you that. If you'll let me, I will help you."

The minion holding the Doctor dropped him, and the Doctor gave an "oomph" as he thudded back against the ground.

The other minions hesitated, looking at one another, as if considering the Doctor's words.

"Her temper… is one of her divine qualities," one of the minions insisted, a little too defensively. "It is of no importance how she treats us as individuals."

"And we have all the freedom we need," another agreed. "We are free to completely obey our mistress in every way. There… is no other freedom worth having."

There was a long, extended silence.

Then, a smaller minion ventured, "There isn't, right?"

"You fools!" shouted the minion closest to the Doctor. "This puny mortal knows nothing of who we serve. Why would we listen to this… creature, when our mistress could crush even him so easily in a matter of seconds?"

"I could take you somewhere," the Doctor offered. "All of you. I could bring you to a planet, far away from here, somewhere you can be free. Somewhere she'll never find you. You can live out your days in peace and happiness, never again being afraid or oppressed. I promise, I can help you."

The minions looked at one another, their devotion slipping just a hair, as the implications of the Doctor's offer sunk in. As the word 'freedom' seemed to become that much more tangible to them.

"Let me help you," the Doctor said.

He probably should have expected what came next.

The minion who'd grabbed him by the tie, before, took out a gag and shoved it into the Doctor's mouth.

"The Time Lord lies!" the minion told his fellows. "There is no place in existence that her magnificence could not find us. If we go against her, if we even consider, she will destroy us completely. Her glorious splendiferousness knows all, sees all. She will sense any betrayal, and crush it completely. Without her, we are nothing. Without her, we have no meaning, no purpose."

The other minions blinked, and every little speck of hesitation was washed away in an instant. Their previous worshipful faces returned, as they decided that the Doctor's words were folly, and dragged him away. The Doctor wished he could negate their fears, appeal to them once more, but for now, it seemed, the appeal was over. He'd lost.

But not for long.


It hadn't fully clicked until Buffy had been talking to the Doctor in his TARDIS, discussing Dawn. Which was weird, because she should have known right away. That envelope the Doctor had left her, just before he died — the one with the TARDIS key — had said that when dawn came, she'd know what to do.

A key isn't always a key.

And when she'd opened that envelope, Dawn had been racing around, annoying her and being completely obnoxious, while Buffy had been in grief. And Dawn kept trying to take the envelope out of Buffy's hands, and kept making fun of how Buffy was totally in love with the Doctor, and this was some love token sort of thing, and Buffy had shouted at her to shut up, and then stormed off to her room. Except… she hadn't. Because Dawn hadn't existed, yet. Another implanted memory.

Buffy left her sister and Donna downstairs, in the living room, then dug the envelope out from beneath her pillow, examining the writing on the outside. The Doctor must have given her this just before Dawn had been created. The closest he could get to Dawn without crossing his own timeline.

Buffy took the TARDIS key out of the envelope. She'd been so mad at him, when she'd first found out what Dawn really was, and what the Doctor had tried to do to her. Buffy had been so angry at him, even just earlier today. But she'd gotten so mixed up between real and made-up monk-things, she couldn't remember that this envelope had been real. But… it was real. Must have been. She could tell, from the note alone. This envelope had always existed, even before Dawn had.

Buffy went downstairs, where Donna began, once more, shouting at her about leaving the Doctor behind, despite the fact that Buffy had explained this to Donna a thousand times. Dawn had managed to calm Donna considerably, but Donna was still pretty pissed off.

Buffy took Dawn aside, and gave her the TARDIS key.

"The Doctor wants you to have this," said Buffy to her sister. "He said to make sure you wear it from the moment a third of the world goes up to the rooftops, to the moment that the Prime Minister in the skies dies. He says it'll keep you safe."

"Uh-huh," said Dawn, putting the key around her neck. "And this has nothing to do with you being all over-protective of me and stuff, right?"

Donna frowned. "Hang on a sec," she said. "Prime Minister in the skies? I think I remember that."

Buffy changed the topic, as fast as she could. She didn't want to process what this meant. Didn't want to think about it.

Because if Donna was from 2009, and the Doctor wanted Buffy to give Dawn the key now

Buffy would be dead, at the latest, in nine years.