author's note: ohayo/konnichiwa/konban wa! chapter six is here below this author's note, disclaimer, summary and italicized words. i REALLY hope you guys like this chapter. it's longer than my previous ones! yay! *no one cheers* *nervous laughter* riiiiight. okay then. i'll leave.
disclaimer: the day i own harry potter will be the day that i'm not a pervert and cracking 'that's what she said' jokes. hmm…. seems like you guys will be waiting for quite a while then.
summary: Harry was tired. Tired of people's expectations. Tired of not doing anything. Just tired of everything going on in his life. He doesn't want to live this tired life anymore, so, the question is, what is he going to do now?
Harry Potter
Tired
Sitting with his head down, hands around the cup and eyes staring into the tea, Harry began to reminisce.
FLASHBACK
Harry was enjoying himself to the utmost extreme. He had defeated the Dark Lord and the Wizarding World, he especially, was safe. He was having the time of his life. He was at some club (he couldn't tell you the name of the place)and he was dancing and drinking and just letting all the stress and tension he had built up over the years just let go. He had never felt this light or free before and he was exhilarated. He had so many reasons to celebrate. Voldemort was dead, first and foremost, Ron and Hermione were alive and so was Neville, Luna, Ginny and all the Weasley's minus Fred, Remus, Snape and all the other people who fought for the light side who managed to live through the last battle. He was sad that many good people had died but that sadness was overcome by the relief that he was alive. So tonight, he was going to drown himself in excitement (and maybe some alcoholic beverages) and celebrate the end of years of trouble.
FLASHBACK
A couple years had passed since Voldemort's defeat and Ron and Hermione came into Harry's house. They found him working out and they sighed. They were… disappointed. Every time they saw Harry, he was either working out, cooking, cleaning, sleeping or lounging about. In short, nothing. Harry was doing nothing and for the life of them, they couldn't figure out why. He was smart, handsome, funny, in excellent shape, personable, caring and so many other adjectives. They always saw him not doing anything and they had had enough. Today was the day to confront Harry about his lake of activity and participation in life.
Ron and Hermione walked over to where Harry was in his workout room, by the treadmill. He was listening to his iPod so instead of calling out, they moved up to him and tapped him and moved into his line of sight so he knew that they were there. He stopped his workout, took off his headphones and smiled at them. Ron and Hermione kind of cringed but were still resolved to tell Harry what they wanted to. Smiling softly back, Hermione began.
"Hey, Harry. Ummm… We wanted to talk to you about something."
"Alright. What's up?"
"… Harry. We're… we're worried about you."
"Why?"
"Well… You see… Harry… We're just nervous about your future, you know? What are you going to do with your life now? You aren't doing anything, Harry! All you do is… Nothing! Absolutely nothing! Sure. You work out to stay in shape and what not, but what about other than that? You're not doing anything with your life, Harry! We're worried about you, Harry, don't you see? We want you to do something with yourself. Get a job! Become a quidditch player! Be an Auror! Work as a Healer! HARRY! You absolutely need to get yourself together before you turn into nothing!"
Hermione was gasping for breath by the end of her speech, looking pleadingly at Harry, trying to somehow persuade him to do SOMETHING.
Ron stood by his wife's side, looking nervously around, but also not objecting to what Hermione said or adding his own two cents.
Harry stood facing them, mouth closed and eyes serious. He wasn't terribly surprised by what Hermione had said. After all, he knew that everyone had those thoughts on their minds and, in fact, it was a headline in the Daily Prophet ("Boy Wonder: What Will He Do Now?"). He knew about these thoughts because they had also been bothering him as of late. He knew these thoughts, and understood what Hermione was saying, but he didn't understand why she was telling him. Yes, he's been lazy as of late, but she had no need telling him that. Didn't he think he already knew that? She didn't need to tell him that he should become something. Didn't she think he already knew that? She didn't need to tell him that he was going to become nothing. Didn't she think he already knew that?
Serious eyes turned into cold fury.
"Thank you, Hermione, for your amazing insight into my life," Harry said a bit sarcastically. "And thank you, Ron, for not saying anything and telling me your opinion," he added scathingly.
Why wasn't he saying anything? Ron's been Harry's best friend since the first time they met at King Cross Station all those years ago. Sure, Ron has turned his back on him, mainly due to jealousy, but he was always the first to come back and it was awkward for a while but they quickly fell back into their usual routine. Now, instead of saying something like he usually did, Ron remained as silent, but not as still, as stone. He stood there, looking this way and that and fidgeting and worrying his clothes. He looked like he wanted to say something but was purposefully keeping his mouth shut, so as to keep from offending Harry or he didn't have an opinion, Harry didn't know, but he knew he didn't like it.
"Nothing, huh, Hermione? I'll turn into nothing if I don't do anything? After spending most of my life fighting a Dark Wizard because of a prophecy a fake Seer told, I'm not entitled to taking a break? Is that what you're telling me, Hermione? Are you telling me I'm not allowed to become nothing! After years of being known as 'Harry Potter: The Boy Who Lived' or 'Harry Potter: Boy Wonder'? After years of being judged and gawked at and being surrounded by rumors people automatically believed to be true? After years of dealing with jealousy and belittling and being thrown into one terrible situation into another terrible situation that always risked my life? After years of having things I should know, needed to know, stay secret until the last possible second? After being patronized constantly and being berated by society, that still continues until this day? After being abused, neglected and tortured, you have to audacity to tell me I need to do something? News flash, Hermione, it's not going to happen! I'm going to do what I want to do! Not what you want me to do, not what Ron wants me to do and certainly not what the media and the public want me to do. I am going to do what I, Harry Potter, want to do. I am letting myself relax. I am taking a break from more than seven lifetimes of pain and stress. I am doing what I would like and want to do, Hermione, and if you have a problem with that, you know where the door is."
Harry was hoping that his friends would stay with him. He wanted them to stay with him, to show that they didn't care about what he was doing now that Voldemort was over and done for. He needed the reassurance that his best friends, Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger, were 1000% behind him and had no problems with his lifestyle choice. Obviously he was wrong, they didn't agree with what he was doing, but could dismiss it as voicing disappointments. However, if they walked away, he would know, fully and without a doubt, that they didn't like what he was doing and that it would signify the end of their friendship.
Harry Potter looked at Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger with hope and determination in his eyes. Hope because he wanted to keep their friendship and determination because he stuck behind his words.
Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger looked at each other then back at Harry. Ron looked sad and resigned. Hermione looked angry and disappointed.
They both turned and walked away.
author's note: 5 PAGES! yes! this means i'm not eating soap! XP anyways, just to clear up in case you're confused. there are two flashbacks in this chapter. there are divided by the word FLASHBACK. that's really about it. also, the little sentence before the first FLASHBACK is the present tense and comes from last chapter. if there are any other concerns, please let me know. thanks for reading so far guys! it will take a while for the next chapter to be updated because i haven't written yet; i've been focused on another story that i've been writing that's almost finished. don't worry though! i'll try my hardest to make a speedy update! i just can't guarantee a specific date. i can guarantee that chapter seven will be here before the end of the month though… *sweatdrop*
