Author's Note: Super tired. Got back late, and had a pretty stressful work day.

I have put in a request to have a day off, at some point, so I can write. Since I'm too tired to do much writing, at the end of the day. Hopefully, this will allow me to rewrite "Something", and to write my Buffy Meets the Ninth Doctor story (which is insanely weird).

Anyways, here's the next story. Posting it all at once. It's okay. Not my best. Too much talking, not enough action.

But it does explain the secret of the Slayer. Plus, it's got the Doctor super scared of Buffy's mom, and Rose being all enigmatic.

The next story has a lot more action.


Everything Has Its Time

.

Buffy had been completely confident. Cracking jokes with the vampire, telling it that it smelled, flipping and twirling and diving like she always did.

And then, for no apparent reason, she'd messed up.

The vampire had grabbed her arm, and driven her own wooden stake into her gut.

If it wasn't for Riley saving her life, Buffy probably would have died.

That was when Buffy decided she needed to know more. Because she knew that every Slayer had an expiration date, but she wanted to make sure her own death was way far in the future. Buffy went off to the Magic Box, determinately searching Giles' books for information on previous Slayers' final battles. What had gone wrong? Why had they been defeated?

But there was no information given. None at all.

"Where are the details of the Slayer's last battle?" Buffy asked Giles. "What made that fight special? I mean, why did she lose?"

Giles muttered something about how Buffy didn't lose that fight last night, she shouldn't be so hard on herself.

But Buffy knew better. She'd been training harder than ever, she was in the best condition of her life, and she'd still slipped up.

"Maybe if there were just a few good descriptions of the Slayer's last battle, that would help me understand my mistake," said Buffy. "Keep it from happening again."

Giles sighed, and took off his jacket. "Yes, well, the problem is after a final battle, it's difficult to get any…" He sat down, staring at his hands. "Well, the Slayer's not… She's rather, um…"

"It's okay to use the D word, Giles," said Buffy.

"Dead. And hence, not very forthcoming."

Buffy grabbed at a book to her side. "Well, why didn't the Watchers keep better accounts of it?" She flipped through the pages. "I mean, the journals just stop."

"I suppose if they're anything like me," said Giles, "they just find the subject too…"

"Unseemly?" Buffy glanced down at the book in her lap. "Damn. I love you, but you Watchers, you're such prigs sometimes."

"…painful, I was going to say," Giles corrected.

Giles and Buffy said nothing a moment, just looking at one another, letting it all sink in. What it would mean. What Buffy's death would really mean, for both of them.

Giles got up off the stool. "But you're right. Accounts of the final battles would be very helpful. But there's… no one left to tell the tales."

That was when a thought struck Buffy. A thought that she should have thought of long ago. One that struck Giles, at the same time. They both met each other's eyes, and they could tell they'd had the exact same revelation.

There was someone still alive who knew. A time traveler. The one man who'd seen every single Slayer die.

And Buffy happened to be his best friend.


Buffy went home, to find the Doctor trying to help out her mother while being completely and utterly terrified of her. Buffy's mom, of course, didn't pick up on the Doctor's fear at all, but continued to be her usual, unthreatening, supportive self.

Elsewhere, Donna was keeping an eye on Dawn.

Buffy appeared in the doorway of the kitchen, bouncing on her toes, her eyes fixed firmly on the Doctor. The Doctor must have noticed her out of the corner of his eye, because he spun around to face her. The moment his eyes rested on Buffy, all the tension and fear in his body seemed to drain away, and he broke into a wide grin.

"Elizabeth!" he said. "Brilliant to see you! Your mum said you were out for the night."

"I saw the TARDIS and thought I'd drop by," said Buffy. "Tell you what? Why don't I take you with me? On patrol!"

The Doctor blinked. "Sorry, why don't you what?"

"Well, if I'm going to go out hunting vampires, I just thought… I might as well have some backup," said Buffy.

The Doctor raised an eyebrow. "You do realize that I won't let you take any weapons," said the Doctor. "Or stake any vampires. And, in fact, will probably do everything in my power to stop you from doing your job?"

"Yep," said Buffy, with a grin.

The Doctor looked her over. "And… you haven't been seriously ill or delirious recently?"

"Nope."

"Or ingesting judgment impairing substances?" the Doctor checked. He stepped forwards, and started knocking on the walls. "Perhaps there's some sort of toxic chemical compound inside the walls that's causing—"

"I'm fine, Doctor," said Buffy. "And if you start licking the walls, Mom will yell at you."

That made the Doctor freeze in his tracks. He ventured a scared look over at Buffy's mom, who was her usual, smiling, nonthreatening self.

"Oh, you two go off and have fun," said Buffy's mom, with a soft smile. "I'm perfectly all right, here, by myself. And if I need any help, I'll ask your friend to give me a hand."

Buffy gave the Doctor a look that said, 'if you come with me, I'll rescue you from doing scary domestic things with a scary unthreatening-looking Mom.' The Doctor seemed to cave, at this, and Buffy knew she'd won.

The Doctor pasted a dazzling smile on his face, and walked over to her. "Yes, well, in that case," he said. "Allons-y!"


Of course, it hadn't taken the Doctor very long to work out that Buffy didn't actually want to patrol. In fact, Buffy was guessing it had taken him all of about two seconds since she first asked him in the kitchen. But he'd been nice about it, and let her lead him through the dark streets and into the park by her house.

"I can't help but note," said the Doctor, "that you don't have any weapons on you."

"I told you I wouldn't bring any," said Buffy.

The Doctor tilted his head. "Yes, well, you always say that," he said. "But then you still manage to somehow conceal a large number of weapons on your person. Really, an absolutely astonishing number of weapons. I didn't think it was possible to conceal that many weapons on a single individual." He glanced back at her. "But tonight? Nothing."

"Maybe you're rubbing off on me," Buffy offered.

"Or," said the Doctor, "you've brought me out here for a reason that has nothing to do with patrolling or vampires. You want me to do something I wouldn't normally do. Something I'm not going to like."

"No!" said Buffy. "I'd never."

"Is that never in the exact same way you'd never, ever stake a vampire?" the Doctor asked. He sighed. "Go on, then. What is it?"

Buffy gathered up her courage. This was the part she'd been dreading. Asking him to tell her about the past, about the other Slayers. The Doctor didn't talk about it — ever. And she knew that things the Doctor never talked about were closed topics to him.

But he knew the truth.

"You've seen every single Slayer die," Buffy told him.

The Doctor froze.

"I just thought—"

"No," he said, in a very, very quiet voice, barely above a whisper.

"But you can tell me—"

"No," he said. "Don't ask me about that again."

Buffy faltered, trying to think of how to phrase this. She knew if she didn't put it just right, he'd clam up, and never tell her anything.

"Look, Doctor, I know you're all upset about it and stuff, but… I'm scared," she said. "I nearly got killed, last night, and I need to know what I did wrong. Maybe, if I understand what mistakes the other Slayers made—"

"No," said the Doctor, again. "I'm not discussing this. Not with you. Not with anyone."

"Not even to help me survive?" Buffy asked. "That second time we met, you said you'd just seen every Slayer die, and you were there to save my life. I just want you to save it again." She pouted. "Come on! I didn't bring any weapons. I didn't stake any vampires recently. And… oh, the vampire that almost killed me — I let him go! See? I'm being good!"

"I'm glad," said the Doctor. "But I'm still not discussing it."

"Why not?" asked Buffy. "I could bake you cookies! Or… banana bread!"

But it looked like not even banana bread was going to cut it, this time. The Doctor was stuck in serious sulk-mode.

"Okay, then, just… tell me one mistake that a Slayer made, in the past, that caused her to die," said Buffy. "Not all of them. Just — one."

"I can't," said the Doctor, with a humorless laugh.

"Oh, come on, stop being stubborn, already!" said Buffy. "I'm your friend."

"There's nothing to tell," said the Doctor. His voice was hard, cold. The way he always sounded when he didn't want to talk about things. "There is no 'mistake'. None of it's a mistake."

"Huh?" asked Buffy.

"No one made a mistake," said the Doctor. "That's not why it happened."

"Then why?" asked Buffy. "What made that last battle special? What made them die?" She took the Doctor's hand in hers. "Please, Doctor. I need to understand."

The Doctor said nothing, but began walking, again, his eyes fixed straight ahead. The wind ran through the trees, making Buffy shiver, slightly. The Doctor flicked his eyes over to her, noticing the shiver. He shrugged off his trench coat, and handed it over.

Buffy took it, and met his eyes. "Please, Doctor," she said. "Help me."

The Doctor just stared at her, a moment, his eyes seeming to drift far away, to other times and places, to other people long since dead. Then they snapped back to the present, in a sudden intensity that took Buffy's breath away.

"Be more human," he told her. Then he turned, and walked off, hands in his trouser pockets.

Buffy raced after him. "What do you mean?"

"Exactly what I said," said the Doctor. "And that's all I'm going to say on the matter."

Buffy frowned. Be more human? But she wanted to be less human, more Slayer! "You said the Slayer was a Time Lord," she said. "I've seen how fast you can move, all the crazy time stuff you can do and the outsmarting and things. Maybe if I could just… tap into that, somehow, bring that out…"

"No."

"Why not?" asked Buffy. "I thought Time Lords were all superior and stuff."

The Doctor said nothing.

"Look, if you won't tell me anything, I'll go and find Spike," said Buffy. "Beat him up for answers. He's killed two Slayers. He'll be able to tell me something, at least."

"Go ahead," said the Doctor.

Buffy frowned. That meant whatever secret the Doctor was keeping from her, it was something that Spike didn't know about, only seeing two. Something the Doctor had worked out after seeing every single Slayer die, some larger pattern that had emerged.

"There's a reason the Slayers all die, isn't there?" asked Buffy. "You've noticed something. A pattern. You know exactly why that final battle is special, exactly what mistake the Slayers make that causes them to die. That's why the Watchers Council was so interested in you! That's the knowledge they really wanted. They wanted to fix their flaws."

The Doctor didn't answer her.

"Look, I know you were reluctant to tell the Watchers Council what was really going on with the Slayer," said Buffy. "I get that. But I'm not them. I… I thought you trusted me."

The Doctor's stern expression fell, the shadows of night making his face look even sadder beneath the street lamps. He glanced back at her. "They died," said the Doctor, in a voice barely above a whisper, "because they had to."

Buffy frowned. "Huh?"

"I told you," said the Doctor. "I couldn't save them. Not a single one."

"Because you were going back in history and stuff," said Buffy. "I remember."

"No," said the Doctor. "Because everything has its time, and everything dies."

"But that just means the events already happened in the past, and you couldn't go back and change them, right?" asked Buffy. "But… my future hasn't been written, yet. You can change that. I mean, I know I'm going to die, someday, but that day can be way, way in the future."

"That's not how it works," said the Doctor.

Buffy felt her blood run cold. "Not how what works?"

The Doctor turned, and started walking off, again. "Be more human, Elizabeth," he told her. "Always, always strive to be more human."

Buffy ran after him, and caught his arm, yanking him back — a little more urgently than she'd wanted.

"Doctor," said Buffy. "Why did they die?"

"Because they had to!" the Doctor told her. "Because that's what had to happen. That's what always has to happen. Don't you see?"

Buffy shook her head.

The Doctor put his hands on her shoulders, staring deep into her eyes. "The Watchers Council constructed a system that works," he said. "A system of Slayers who are all murdered before their thirtieth birthday. I may not like it. I may not approve of it. But it does work."

"Yeah, but if I can understand why they died, then maybe I can live longer than that!" Buffy insisted.

"That's not the way it works!" the Doctor said. "Don't you see? The system doesn't work in spite of the fact that no Slayer lives past 30. It works because no Slayer lives past 30!"

Buffy just stared at him.

The Doctor backed away, his eyes burning. "I'm sorry," he said. "But until the day the Watchers Council crumbles and falls, that's how the system will always work."

And that day was obviously not coming any time soon.

"So… this Slayer consciousness is poison, or something?" asked Buffy. "It's killing us?"

The Doctor stared off into the distance. "Do you remember what I said, the day you met me?" he asked.

"You said a lot of things," said Buffy. "You said that you knew me, that the Daleks were destroyed, that I was your friend, that I was completely evil and had killed off the last member of your species…"

"Not that," said the Doctor. "About killing vampires. Killing things without a soul."

"You said what you always say," said Buffy. "That they're sentient creatures and they can't help the way they are, and I should give them a chance, even though—"

"I didn't."

Buffy frowned. "Huh?"

"That's what I tell you, now," said the Doctor. "That's not what I told you, then."

Buffy thought back, trying to call up the memory. But that had been so long ago. Years ago. It had all gotten fuzzy in her head. All mixed up with the many other times she'd seen him.

"I told you," said the Doctor, "that they might not have souls. But you do."

And he'd asked her, Doesn't it hurt you, just a little bit more every time you do it? She'd forgotten about that. Back then, the answer had been yes. It did.

It didn't, now.

"I've seen what it's like to fight a never-ending war against entirely evil creatures," the Doctor told her. "I know what that does to you. I know how that changes you, warps your mind. I've seen people — good, kind people — transformed. Changed. Altered. When you fight Daleks, you become Daleks. When you fight soulless creatures, you become soulless yourself. That's what happens."

And Buffy fought against things without a soul all the time…

Oh.

No wonder the Doctor had been so upset when he'd first met her. No wonder he'd thought there was nothing good left inside of her. No wonder he'd been so insistent that she stop, that she walk away while she still could.

And then, when he'd come back, after he'd seen what the Slayer really was…

That was when a horrible thought occurred to Buffy. When she put two and two together, and worked out something that the Doctor hadn't been telling her.

Because the Slayer consciousness was… Time Lord, wasn't it? A baby Time Lord, transplanted into a human. And when she'd first learned about that, she'd thought that just meant the consciousness was like… him. Like the Doctor.

Except… that wasn't what his own people had been like. Not at the end.

(When you fight Daleks, you become Daleks.)

They'd tried to end the universe, the Time Lords, hadn't they? Ten billion Time Lords, ascending, all at once. Of course the Doctor had seen good, kind people transformed by war. It was his own people that he'd seen transformed.

Which meant… Buffy had been asking the wrong question. When she'd been working with Giles, trying to figure out what this Slayer Consciousness really was, who this baby Time Lord had been before she was murdered — Buffy had been going the entirely wrong direction.

"When?" Buffy asked.

"Sorry?"

"You said the Slayer Consciousness was a baby Time Lord," said Buffy. "And I've been trying to work out what that means. But I was wrong. I shouldn't have been trying to work out what. I should have been trying to work out when."

Buffy knew she'd asked the right question, because of the way every single muscle in the Doctor's body seemed to tense, all at once.

"She was from the end, wasn't she?" asked Buffy. "She was born at the end of the War."

The Doctor's shoulders slumped, and Buffy knew she'd been right.

"But she was a baby," said Buffy. "She hadn't even faced Daleks, yet."

"She was born for War," said the Doctor. "Preprogrammed for battle. A soldier-baby." He ran a hand through his hair. "A little tiny baby, born in darkness and bloodshed, stripped of her entire planet, then torn apart and scattered throughout the human race. That's what's in your head."

"So… she's not at all like you," Buffy said.

"She's half-insane, completely vengeful, and alone — so utterly alone," the Doctor told her. "A soldier trained to kill, with nothing and no one left to defend."

"But she does have something to defend," said Buffy. "The world."

"Wrong world," said the Doctor.

Buffy said nothing, the realization washing across her. She'd seen the Doctor, when he was dangerous. Alien. Completely powerful and utterly unstoppable. Her friends had seen that, too, and it scared them beyond belief. Imagining someone like the Doctor, but without his kindness, without his passion for life, without his goal to make people better — it was terrifying.

And that was the essence of the Slayer.

"Eventually," said the Doctor, "she takes over. Eventually, she makes you like her. And every Slayer embraces it differently. Some — those who were inspired, who'd stayed and trained and fought like the Watchers wanted— were overwhelmed by the darkness, and simply let themselves go. Let themselves lose that final battle, let themselves die. Other Slayers… relished it. Felt they were better than the rest of humanity. Decided to turn against the world they fought so long and hard to protect."

"And the others?" asked Buffy.

The Doctor said nothing.

"There… are others, right?" Buffy checked.

"Some ran," the Doctor confessed. "Left the world to fend for itself, left friends and family and Watchers behind, and ran away. And as a result, people died — so many people. I went back through history, tried to stop the worst of it, tried to save as many people as I could. But I couldn't save them all. And the Slayer, herself — something always got her, in the end. Either the Watchers Council, or a demon with an agenda, or a vampire who wanted to prove he was a big-shot."

"And the rest?" asked Buffy.

"That's all there were," said the Doctor. "It's what happened with Time Lords, and it's what happens with you lot. Some are inspired, some go mad, and some… just run away."

Buffy digested this. What it meant. What all this implied, for her. No wonder the Doctor hadn't wanted to tell her this. No wonder the Doctor had wanted to keep this from her, keep it a secret. Because he knew what was inside her, and he knew what it meant.

"I'm going to die," Buffy realized. "And nothing you can do will stop it."

The Doctor didn't answer.

"That darkness inside of me," said Buffy. "It's coming out. It's trying to take over. And every day I fight against the forces of darkness, every day I defend the world, I'm killing myself. If I keep fighting, I'll destroy myself. But if I stop, everyone else is going to die."

"That was what they all said," said the Doctor. "The ones who were inspired. The ones who stayed, and fought. That's why they wanted to let it all go, give in and die. But I could never relate, because… I ran."

Buffy blinked. "But you said… you were there. You didn't run away! You fought in the War. You…" She trailed off, as she realized. "…you survived."

"Because I murdered everyone else," the Doctor told her.

But that wasn't what Buffy had meant. He'd survived — not his body, but his soul, that goodness inside of him. Every single other Time Lord had died before the War even ended — they'd all turned evil and tried to ascend. But not the Doctor.

Every Slayer had to die. It was their fate, their destiny, to fight against the forces of darkness, and then be consumed by that darkness themselves. And Buffy had been searching, so hard, for the exception to that rule.

But here he was. Right in front of her, all this time.

And it became clear, so clear, all at once. Why he'd been the one not consumed by the darkness. Why he'd been the only one to survive. It wasn't because he ran, when he was young. It wasn't because he stayed and fought when he was older. No, she knew why he was the only one who'd come out of this battle with his soul intact. He'd told her, when she was eighteen.

"I don't need to be more human," she said, taking his hand in hers. "I just have to remember what you told me. That the night is only dark, when you ignore the stars."

The Doctor met her eyes, and she could see from that spark of pride when he looked at her, that spark of complete awe and amazement, that she was right. The one thing no Slayer before her had ever realized. That she wasn't fighting for death. She was fighting for life.

For the stars.

For the one creature in the whole universe who'd been able to give that to her. To light her way. To bring sunlight to the darkness.

Her Doctor.

She reached out to take his hand. And the moment their fingers touched…

Buffy looked around. She was alone, in the park by her house. She didn't understand why she was there… no, wait, she knew why she was there. She was trying to find Spike. She'd worked out, with Giles, that there was one guy who was still alive who'd seen two Slayers die. One guy who knew what the weakness in the Slayer was.

She had to find Spike.

She stepped off into the night air, the wind whistling through the trees, and she shivered. She swung the coat in her hands around her shoulders…

Except, she didn't have a coat in her hands. She'd never had a coat in her hands.

Buffy felt a hand on her shoulder, and she jumped a mile high. She spun around, ready to attack whoever was behind her, but… it was just Rose.

Handing Buffy a blue denim jacket.

"You look cold," said Rose.

Buffy took the jacket, but didn't put it on. "Who are you?"

Rose gave a little laugh. "Who am I? Who are you?"

"I thought you knew who I was," said Buffy. "You said you knew me."

"I do know you," said Rose. "But I don't think you know yourself."

Buffy just stared at her. Was this something to do with her being the Slayer? Was this something to do with the darkness that Dracula had sensed inside her?

"I shouldn't be here," said Rose. "I've been travelling across realities, leaping from dimension to dimension, universe to universe. And, for some reason, I keep winding up back here. With you. And no Doctor."

"You've been what?"

"There's something about you," said Rose. "Something different. Something that keeps dragging me off course. I don't think you know who you really are."

"I'm the Slayer," said Buffy. "I get that."

The phrase didn't seem to mean anything to Rose. It didn't even make an impression on her. She just shrugged. "If you say so."

"Look, who are you, anyways?" Buffy demanded. "You said you're Rose—"

Rose gave a laugh. "Shows you how long ago I first visited this reality."

"…So, you're not Rose?" Buffy checked.

"I am, but I don't tell anyone anymore," said Rose. "I've learned. The wrong word in the wrong place can change an entire causal nexus."

"Right," said Buffy. "So. You're Rose. And you're some demon who—"

"I'm human," said Rose.

Buffy blinked. "Okay, then." She shook her head, and continued, again. "So, you're just… some disappearing, reappearing human who goes from reality to reality, handing out coats?"

"I'm looking for someone," said Rose. "He was… a Time Lord. The last of his kind. When they were around, they used to fix things. Fix the universe. But now, there's no one. No one left but him."

"This is… your Doctor, isn't it?" asked Buffy.

"The universe is broken," said Rose. "Every universe is broken. The Darkness is coming. It's coming for you, too. The dimension cannon shouldn't work here, but it does. Around this time and place, the walls are too thin."

"Walls?"

"Something is coming," said Rose. "And it's destroying everything. Not just here, but in every reality." She glanced up at the sky. "The stars."

"What about them?"

"The stars are going out," said Rose, as she vanished into thin air.

Buffy stood, completely alone again, staring at the night sky. At the myriad of stars dancing an intricate pattern along its surface. A million, billion suns, all so far away. So unreachable.

The stars are going out.

Buffy didn't know why she felt so terribly, terribly sad when she heard those words. As if she'd once had everything.

And lost it.