Right guys, I have 600 reviews *HUGS YOU ALL!!!*

I also had a spark of insanity.

Right... it's kind of like a bit of a request, on my behalf... I was wondering if any of you would want to draw a fanart pic of all the guys, or just one of the guys, plus Saori, and send it me over e-mail?

I mean... it could be fun, right? then I could use it as my DP on everything for ever and ever and ever.

If you are interested, then inbox me and I'll send you my e-mail, but only if you want to.

Saori could have either short or long black hair, bright green eyes. Her glasses are rectangle, or you could just leave em off n say she's wearing contancts, lol. Any outfit... so long as it's not pink *shudders*... something emo-ish or punky would be cool, like her outfit from when the host club invaided Haruhi's apartment (Ch. 41).

Whatever, it was just an idea, but if you'd like.........

anyways, enjoy, and try not to be too sad...


Or maybe I was a complete idiot.

Not for thinking things would be okay, 'cos they were. Kind of.

Just for coming to school dressed like this. It might be comfortable, but people seemed to think I had the plague.

"S-Saori... are you really okay?" asked one of Haruhi's customers, leaning forward and ever so timidly touching my hand, as if I might bite her or something.

"Yeah, I'm fine. In fact I think I might go get changed." I snapped, standing up and briskly walking to the changing rooms.

"Thank god for that... here."

I looked to see Kyouya holding out a bag, probably with a uniform in it.

"Thanks."

I went in, got changed, brushed my hair through and everything else so I looked my usual presentable self... but I kept dads jumper with me, just 'cos I wanted to.

Club had ended, and we were all sat chatting. I was leaning up against Takashi, snuggling dads jumper up to my chest, and he was stroking my hair absently while reading his book.

Kyouya was sat on a chair to my right, typing something up on his laptop, and ignoring everyone. The twins were muttering between themselves and glancing at me and the jumper, which just made me hold on tighter, but as they kept staring, I began to feel more and more uncomfortable.

"Saori... we were just wondering..." started Hikaru, coming towards me slowly.

"Why such a pretty girl has such a..." said Kaoru, with his most sickly sweet smile.

"Ratty jumper." they both finished with a sniff, standing right in front of me and sneering down at the jumper.

"Non your business." I snapped, clutching the jumper tighter.

"Come on... it's horrible... get rid of it." they smirked, leaning forward to try and prise the jumper from my hands. I was now holding it so tight that my knuckles were white.

"Leave her alone." said Kyouya in his authority voice. For a second they backed away, then they looked back at me.

"Really, we could just get rid of it."

"It wouldn't be any trouble."

I glared at them, and promptly got up and walked away.

"Touch the jumper and I'll kill you."

I was about to go back through to the changing room, when I felt something pulling me backwards.

"Come on Saori-"

"What's so special about a ratty jumper?"

I turned to the twins, and my look wiped their faces clean of the coy grins that had been there previously.

"It was my dads." I said simply, with a slight shrug, then I turned, got my bag, put my stuff into it, and waved bye to everyone.

I just needed to walk.

I'd cut through the park, and managed to get home in record time, Grandma hadn't even started cooking, so I told her I didn't have an appetite, so she didn't have to cook for me.

I went up to my room, and started routing through my wardrobe. There was one bag, one that dad had got for me, that had all my special memories in it.

I eventually found it right at the back, right at the bottom. It was a little backpack, most seven year olds had them.

But whereas back when I was little many people were into Rosie and Jim, or Thomas the Tank Engine, I was pretty much an anime addict. The bag I had was black, and had loads of green chibi mushrooms on it. I smiled as I remembered when he gave it to me... it was the day he'd been diagnosed, or at least I think it was, because it was that day that he tole me 'daddy wasn't well'. I'd been worried sick about him, so he bought it me to keep my mind off it for a bit.

I unzipped it, and tipped the contents on to my floor.

There was a felt flower, with a vivid green stem, and bright yellow petals. I'd made it with him for mothers day... well, we made several, but he told me to keep this one.

There was a picture of him with me when I was a newborn, sitting by my mums side and smiling, but whereas mum was facing the camera, he was looking at me.

Then there was one of me and him when I'd had my seventh birthday. He'd taken me ice skating, and I'd done really well... in fact, I was the one helping him up all the time.

Then there were silly little things... a bouncy ball he'd got me, a tiny doll that he'd made himself. She was called Lucy. She was made out of soft creamy pink silk, and had the downy feathers from some bird inside as stuffing... she had really soft black hair, and two buttons for eyes. He'd even gone as far as making a green dress for her, but it didn't come off, or else I would've lost it... he'd sewn it on.

He was always good at making things.

Then there was a tattered old bible he'd kept since he was a child, and a few other things.

I smiled sadly as I remembered all the great things he did... a doctor, a husband, a father... the best father.

And then he'd died.

I wiped a tear away from my eyes, sucked in my breath, and got into my pajamas quickly. I wore his jumper again, grabbed Lucy and climbed into my bed...

But even sleep wasn't forgiving, and the old memories haunted me...

"Mum... where's dad?" I asked, tugging at my mums pants leg. She was sat at the kitchen table, head in hands, and had been quiet for a very long time.

"Your dads... gone on a trip." she choked out, but smiled at me and stroked my hair back.

"Where?" I asked, in my childish innocence, climbing up on her knee and hugging her.

"To a beautiful place..." she whispered.

"Japan?" I asked.

"No;" she said, with a hint of a chuckle "He's gone to a magic place, called heaven."

"Is heaven nice?"

"Yes."

"Will it make him better?" I asked, looking up at her. This time, she wasn't smiling... she just squeezed her eyes shut and swallowed hard.

"Maybe sweetheart... maybe."

Mum had woke me up, and gotten me dressed She made me wear a black dress, that had a white ribbon around it. I got some white socks on, and then put on my shiny new shoes.

Mum was wearing a long black skirt with a white turtle neck jumper. She put on her black high heels and brushed our hair, then we went and got in a big black limo.

Not once did we talk. I wanted to ask her what was going on... I was starting to wonder if we were gonna go see dad in heaven... that could be fun, I was starting to miss him...

Then, all of a sudden, we were outside a church, and there were lots of people there that looked very sad. When they saw us they said they were sorry for our loss, and all I could do was stay quiet and wonder what we had lost.

I'd lost the TV remote lots of times... but on-one had ever been sad about that.

Well, we went into the church, and right at the front, I saw a massive wooden box, and lots of white carnations. They were my dads favorite flower, he loved them. And a man at the front was putting a big picture on a stand... it was a picture of dad.

"Mum, is dad here?" I asked, loud enough for her to hear 'cos she was talking to some people. The people looked very sad when I said that, and one lady took hold of my hand and squeezed it.

"Honey... I don't know." said mum, and I must have looked really confused, because she smiled again, and said in a very small voice "He's in heaven, remember."

I looked quickly to the picture, and back at mum, and for a second, she looked upset. Then she smiled, took my hand and lead me to the front row of the church.

"Why is there a picture of dad?" I asked her... and I kept asking her, because she never answered.

Then a short little man stood up, and started talking about dad, about how he was a loving husband, and a doting father, and a great friend. He said all these things about dad that I didn't even know!

Then he looked at mum, and she got up, told me to sit and be good, and went to the front. She started to talk, and then she was crying.

I didn't think, I got up and started to run to her, but as I passed the big open box at the front where dads picture was, I couldn't help but look... and I saw dad asleep in there.

He looked very cold... if someone was taking a nap, you'd give them a blanket... and you wouldn't put them in a box.

I looked at her questioningly...

"Mum?"

She looked at me, and cried harder, then she came, took my hand, and lead me out, telling them all to carry on.

Then the small man started to shut the box and lock it!

"Mum! Mum! They're locking it! He's locking the box!"

She shushed me, and pulled me out into the foyer, and knelt down in front of me.

"Mum! Dads in there!" I yelled, pretty sure she couldn't hear me, or she'd stop them.

"Darling... daddy's not here..." she whispered, stroking my hair back, and trying to pull me into a hug, but I pushed her away and looked back.

"He is! Yes he is, he's in there!" I yelled, pointing to the box that the man was still locking.

"No..."

"YES! Mum, tell them he's asleep, tell them!" I screamed, pushing away from her to go back in and tell them there was a mistake.

"No, Saori!" she snapped, grabbing my arm and pulling me back to her roughly. "He is not asleep... he won't wake up..." she cried, shaking me slightly.

"But... but he looked like he was asleep..." I said quietly, looking to the box.

"No... you're daddy was sick, and he couldn't get better. He's going to live in heaven with the angels."

As soon as she said this, it all sunk in...

I was always told stories of angels, the ones that had wings and lived with god, up in the sky.

And the sky was very far away from here.

"But... but we want him back." I choked out, feeling a lump growing in the back of my throat. Tears started to spill over, and I shook my head.

"Honey..." she said, crying too.

"No! No! Tell them he's ours, he's my daddy!" I screamed, kicking out and trying to get back in, to tell the man I wanted dad back, he didn't want to live with angels. Surely everyone was wrong, because if you pinch his nose, he'll wake up, he always did when I did that, then he'd tickle me and laugh like he always did.

"Saori!" shouted mum, looking angry now, she even pulled me outside so no-one would hear.

"Your daddy died! He's not coming back honey, he's gone away to live somewhere else... he's in a better place!" then she started sobbing, and the lady from before came out and hugged her...

But I didn't get a hug, I was left to stand on my own and cry, because my daddy wasn't coming back. And even if he was going to heaven, how could that be better? He loved spending time with us, how could it be better being away?

Then I remembered what mummy said... 'daddy was sick, and he couldn't get better...'

And now he was living with God? Why would God want him? He has to take care of us!

It was then I decided that if God was so good, he'd make people better, not make them live with him...even if they had families. A wife and a little girl to take care of.

I walked quietly back into the foyer and looked through the glass... the man was saying something, and lots of people were crying. I started crying again... and then I opened the door, and walked right up to the coffin.

Someone stood up, ready to stop me messing about... but I didn't. I kissed the wood, even though it's not as good as kissing dad, and I told him that I loved him, and I hoped heaven was nice... and I sat down, and was a good girl.

After that... mum couldn't look at me properly for a week...

I prayed really really hard to God, asking him to send my daddy back, and I slept with the night light on, even though I didn't need it, just in case he came back. Mum was so sad for so long... so was I.

I made myself sick, and I refused to eat, because every time I tried, it would get stuck, and I would be sick

Mum would shout at me a lot, she kept saying if I didn't eat, then I'd get sick and have to go to heaven too... I always told her I wanted to go... I wanted to see dad.

Then she'd cry for hours... and I'd be sent to my room, and I'd cry into a pillow. Sometimes I couldn't get to sleep, 'cos my pillow was too wet from my tears.

After a year... I stopped praying. God wasn't listening to me. He wasn't going to send dad back.

Mum didn't seem as sad after a while... she just seemed numb every year, at the same time...

Instead of praying to God... I'd talk to the stars, 'cos I knew dad was up there.

I asked him if it was true he was never coming back...

I asked him if he'd visit...

I asked when I could visit...

He didn't answer either, so I decided he must just be busy.

I missed my dad so much...

I was woken by my grandma shaking my shoulder... she looked worried, and when she told me I'd been crying in my sleep, I had to assure her I was okay.

She seemed very skeptical, but I smiled, told her it was nothing, and said I'd just want to sleep in... it was Saturday.

I just really had to sort through everything...