Chapter 6: Cause and Effect

The howling was the worst part of the evening. The pair had shrunken the furniture in the room, carried it easily to the room across the hall and done every charm they could think of to contain him within the spare room they had chosen.

November sat on the floor of the room directly across from Remus's current cell, her wand on the floor. She looked shell-shocked and Sirius was sure that if Remus did break out she would just let him kill her. He decided to sit up with her, just in case, but a night of listening to unearthly howling was not going to be easy to bear.

"Here."

November looked up to see a bottle of fire whiskey in her face and two glasses in Sirius's other hand. She took the bottle and poured.

"What to?" she asked, holding the glass up.

There was a screaming cry and they both winced.

"To Remus?" Sirius suggested. November nodded grimly and they drank.

It was some time before she was inebriated enough to start explaining what had happened. They both knew the events had to come out but he was not going to push her; if nothing else he didn't want his eyebrows blown off.

"I agreed to go to dinner with Lucius Malfoy." The words came out very softly but Sirius, who sat shoulder to shoulder with her on the floor, heard them all the same.

"Why, 'Vember?"

"Because I love him," she nodded toward the rattling and howling door across the hall. "Because if there was any chance I could save him I had to pursue it. But now…" Tears welled up in her eyes. "I've just betrayed him."

"How've you betrayed him?"

"He told me what he was. He opened to me and there was a chance…but now it's gone!"

And all of the stress, worry, anger, and fear came bursting out of her in loud sobs. Sirius, inebriated as he was, hugged her close to him and rubbed her arm sympathetically.

"You did what you felt you had to do, 'Vember. No one can fault you for that. Remus will understand."


November woke up to find the Black home quiet and Sirius's coat draped over her. He had taken it upon himself to finish the bottle and had fallen over on his side before November finally fell asleep.

She groggily pushed herself up and rubbed at her eyes. Last night…last night was a series of horrible memories. The sun was rising now and someone would have to check on Remus. She decided there was no point in waking Sirius and began to remove the charms from the room.

Remus lay facedown on the bare wood floor. New lacerations decorated his body though mercifully he was not completely naked. He seemed to be sleeping.

Kneeling beside him, November could feel emotion welling up in her. "Remus," she soothed.

It was instantaneous and lightning fast. Remus, an inhuman look in his eye, caught her by the throat. November goggled in terror. He snarled at her viciously and began to squeeze. For whatever reason, the transformation had not completely passed.

November began to choke and clawed desperately at his hand. The pressure only increased and he stood, lifting her off of her feet. November had not woken Sirius and now there was no way she could get his attention.

Mercifully, beam of light shone through the window, lighting the room and landing on Remus. A beam of morning light.

His face relaxed and his expression became more human. Panic flashed across his features as he realized what he was doing. Roughly, in his panic he jerked his hand away.

Blackness had begun to cloud November's vision and she dropped to the floor, her hands working to grab something as she gasped and coughed. Arms lifted her to a torso and she gripped Remus's shoulders hard, resting her forehead against his chest and breathing hard.

When she could breathe easily again, she looked up into his eyes. Golden and mournful.

"Was I here last night?"

"Yes," she rasped.

"And you were here last night as well?"

November nodded, her still-red hair burning in the light.

Remus pushed her away and stood under the window. "I'm so sorry. I'm a monster and to expect you to even…" he found himself at a loss for words and gave up, punching a wall.

November quickly stood beside him, taking his cut up face in her hands. "You are what you have always been to me. Nothing can change that."

Remus closed his eyes, gratitude and unworthiness welling up in him. Turning his face into her hand, he kissed her palm gently. He looked back at her and started a little.

"You've got red hair. Did something happen?"

The look she gave him suggested she was less hurt when he was choking her. "Please don't make me… It will all be out soon enough." Her voice was a whisper of pain.

He nodded. There was nothing he could say to this and it was clear she had totally withdrawn from him even if she was physically present.

"Let's get you healed," she said, trying to be more chipper. "This time I won't have to ambush you."


A message had been sent out to the Order alerting them to an emergency meeting that very evening. It was clear to Remus that this had something to do with the night before but Sirius would only say November had to tell him and go back to sleeping off his hangover. Clearly he would rather have told his friend, but something stopped him.

November would not speak to Lupin at all though it was clear this had nothing to do with his transformation. At least not with Remus' end of it. But this only alarmed him more; what could possibly have happened that would be worse?

All he could do was wait for that evening.


November poked her head around the door that afternoon, wrapped in a bathrobe. He was gone.

Remus had been prowling around the house, full of nerves. She understood and even sympathized but…she needed a bath to clear her head.

She darted down a floor to the master bath and quickly locked herself in. Once the bath was drawn, she sunk into the clawfoot tub and began to think.

She had not yet told Remus for one reason alone: he would do all in his power to convince her to go back on her end of things. And she adored him so much that she would. But if it were announced among other people who would see this in a less personal light then surely he would not be able to sway her by her emotions.

November was very smart, hence Ravenclaw. She knew that this was an opportunity they needed. Severus was always risking himself in this way and he could not always be there when he was needed, but she could. It would be very easy to set up a false apartment and Floo back to here. She could live in the very headquarters of the Order and there would be no expectation for her to spend all of her time with Lucius.

But what she wanted was so very different.

November shook her head. He knew now that she had cared for him knowing full well what he was…and now all of this. She could not even expect him to care for her now, let alone respect her. This would be the most demeaning thing she had ever done and the man she loved would bear witness to it all. But how selfish would it be of her to not take this chance on account of her own feelings?

She fought to cry silently in the echo-y bathroom, tears dripping to mingle with the water in the bath.


November did not appear downstairs until Albus arrived and a moment later they swiftly disappeared into the library. Remus debated the virtues of listening on the stair but decided against it. However, as he headed down to dinner, he could not help but overhear Dumbledore speaking very seriously and what sounded like November crying. The door opened and Dumbledore nodded briefly to Remus as he passed.

Lupin stopped where he stood, waiting in hope of crossing paths with November. November exited the library quietly, her eyes a bit puffy. For the first time since that morning, her eyes met his in the eyes.

"I just need you to know…" her voice cracked and she coughed, "I just need you to know it was for you. I wanted to help you."

"But November-"

She pushed past him quickly not trusting herself to stay there alone with him.

He followed behind her but she had entered the dining room before he could catch her. He walked in to hear Albus's booming voice, leaning against a wall behind November.

"Though it is very kind of Molly to prepare us a meal such as this, there is pressing business to deal with. You all know this meeting was called together by November. I will let her explain the situation she now finds herself in."

November was shaking and Remus wanted very much to go to her and comfort her, but he felt that she needed to say this alone.

"As you are, I am sure, aware, last night was the full moon. Due to…circumstances I was worried for Remus's safety."

Remus began to glow red; whatever this was it was caused by him, as if his condition had not cause enough problems. November blushed as well. She knew how this sounded and she could not bear to think about it.

"I was informed," Sirus busied himself with his dinner at this point, "that Snape had always provided a potion for Remus in the past and that it had been quite some time since it's absence."

November took a deep breath and stared directly at Arthur Weasley as she spoke now, knowing he would not react facially until she had finished talking. "I went, last night, to Malfoy Manor in hopes of receiving such a potion from Severus."

Murmurs broke out through the room and she avoided Mad-Eye's mad eye which was fixed on her completely. She raised her voice to continue.

"I believed that if I went as Helena I would be able to gain entrance and exit safely. This was the case but I was informed that Severus is being held there to work on a project of some sort for Voldemort. He had no potion." She broke off and rubbed fiercely at her face. "I knew that there was one chip I could bargain with if I needed to though I hoped it would not be needed. Since allowing me to speak to Severus was a weightier matter than I had imagined, my hand was forced."

The meaning of all of this began to set in for Remus. He had listened without really considering who exactly she would have dealt with at Malfoy Manor.

"I am to see Lucius Malfoy formally tomorrow night."

"NO!"

Everyone stared silently at Remus. His outburst had been very uncharacteristic and they waited to see what this was all about. His face worked from showing surprise to panic to embarrassment. Quietly, he moved to the corner of the room, allowing November to finish explaining. He gripped at his hair furiously. How could this have happened? She had only told him hours ago that she had always known what he was.

A sharp memory came back to him and then another. Memories of the times that he had shot her down, assuming she did not know. Why had he not told her sooner? Why had he forced her away? He had dug his own grave. He had forced her away and she had followed his commands, leaving him behind.

The conversation had moved to include more people as he mulled this over, and he sank heavily into the chair next to Sirius.

"Stupid as this may be," Moody was commenting, "November has given us another in to the Death Eaters. However, if she were to meet the Dark Lord and he were to fail to recognize her, as he surely would, her life would be forfeit."

"November has agreed to these risks, Alastor," replied Albus, "Much as Severus himself has and as you and the Aurors do daily."

"But she's not an Auror!" exclaimed Molly, shocked that this was seriously being entertained.

"But she should have been…" Arthur's reminder brought silence back down on the room. Many of them remembered Titus from the Ministry. Many remembered his death.

"How long can this be kept up?" asked Kingsly. "This is the real question. How long can she keep Malfoy's attention while remaining out of the way?"

"She needs a better story. Hers will be found out far too quickly," added Moody.

Some time was given to think things through and it was decided a vote should be taken. When all was said and done, the Order of the Phoenix agreed that this was a useful connection to further their information about the Dark Lord. November would begin to date Lucius Malfoy for as long as she could safely do so.

The moment the vote was done, Remus, who had voted against, was out the door.

"Moony! Wait!" Sirius caught his friend by the arm. "You have to talk to her! If November knew how you felt-"

"It would change nothing! She cannot back out of this! You heard what they said!"

"But this has nothing to do with how she feels about you!"

"Right! Because I have a lot to offer when she's being courted by a rich, handsome, whole, and powerful Pure Blood wizard." He yanked his arm free. "I'm sure she'll fall right into my arms," he growled.

Remus pushed Sirius aside and Sirius did not follow.