Author's Note: Sorry about the lack of update, yesterday. The people in the room above mine, who are long term guests staying for 2 weeks, have decided that it's really, really fun to stay up being loud until 4 am. Which is annoying for me, because I have to get up early for work.
So no sleep for Shoshi.
Didn't update, yesterday, because I was so tired I couldn't function. Can barely function today. I'm hoping I don't have another massive break-down and find myself needing to spend another $200 to get a good night's sleep.
This wasn't helped by the fact that I'm kind of disappointed. I had a cool idea - theme rooms that are inspired by an artist, so that you feel like you're sleeping in a painting (dripping clocks off the bedside for the Dali room, water lilies in the bath for the Monet room, etc), or maybe a book (how amazing would it be to step into the White Witch's castle from Narnia, or Hogwarts from Harry Potter, and just immerse yourself in that world for a night). But then I asked some tourists around town, and discovered that, in the actual real world, people don't want that. Normal people don't want to sleep beautiful fantasy worlds based on famous paintings or books. Just me. Apparently, the rest of the world wants to party and drink beer and shriek at 4 am so I can't sleep!
(Sorry, I'm feeling a little bitter. Can you tell? If you can, please send angry letters to the people in the room above me.)
Anyways...
Short Story: "TV"
Summary: After Riley leaves, Buffy discovers the presence of an alternate self. And the revelation that she's forgetting something important. Or someone.
I'm posting this story because I honestly like it. Even though it... kind of... makes the Scoobies seem like complete idiots at the beginning of "Elizabeth". I've thought up a lot of excuses for this (they just don't remember that year very clearly, due to the multiple timeline thing; their brains get scrambled whenever they think of the Doctor during that last year; they honestly think the other Buffy's a demon playing a trick on them, even here; they're in super duper denial; they've been kept up until 4 am by noisy upstairs neighbors - no, wait, that's me), but... thing is... the real reason is that I wrote "Elizabeth" way before I wrote this story. And if that hadn't been the case, that whole first section would have been way shorter.
(Reading "Elizabeth" back over, that whole first section should have been way shorter, anyways.)
I considered cutting this short story out of the Seventh Segment, to avoid the problem. But I like this story. So I've decided to keep it in, just for the hell of it.
Enjoy!
(I've just realized the next short story is "the Setup", which is a really fun one. That makes me feel a little happier. Let's hope I'm awake enough to post it, tomorrow.)
TV
.
Riley had known.
He wasn't sure how or why or who had told him, but the moment he saw the date — December 19, 2000 — he knew that this was the end. This was the moment when Buffy and him were over.
And as he left Sunnydale, in that helicopter, not once looking back on the town that had caused him so much pain, he felt — relief. As if a great weight had been taken off of his shoulders.
It almost made the soul-crushing grief of losing Buffy bearable.
Buffy raced out as the helicopter left, trying desperately to reach Riley in time. She shouted at him, but he didn't hear her. And as she watched the helicopter leaving, taking off into the skies and fading out of sight, Buffy just kept wondering — what had gone wrong? What had possibly gone wrong between them?
They'd been wonderful together. Their entire romance had been going great! How had it come to this? Why would Riley think she didn't love him? Why would Riley go off and pay vampires to suck his blood, then think she wouldn't mind?
Where had it all come from?
Buffy walked home, questions circling around in her head. She'd lost Riley. This wonderful, amazing guy, and he'd just slipped through her fingers, like a thousand grains of sand.
She felt so utterly alone.
She went into the house, and was going to race up to her room, when her eyes rested on a VCR tape that had a sticky note attached to it. A sticky note with her own handwriting. She picked it up. That was weird. She didn't remember writing that, or putting a tape there.
The note said, "Watch me."
Buffy put the tape into the VCR.
It was a camcorder video of herself, looking almost exactly the way she was, now. Except… she seemed panicked. Worried. Buffy looked at the date at the bottom right corner of the screen. This had been recorded only a few days ago. But… she didn't remember recording this!
"Buffy," her TV self said. "I know you're going to go all, 'wait, I didn't make this recording, it has to be a demon!' But you did, you just don't remember. Please, please believe me. I'm you! I…" She trailed off, her eyes fixed into the distance. Then, they illuminated. "Oh, you remember in fourth grade, when you saw that weird hobo around that dumpster, and you thought he looked exactly like Arnold Schwarzenegger? I couldn't have known that unless I was you!"
Buffy's eyes were glued to the TV. She wasn't really sure what to do. Should she shut this off, take it to Giles, or…
"Don't shut me off!" the TV Buffy shouted. "I know you're thinking about it. And then you're going to take this to Giles, and he'll go all, 'well, that's terribly troubling, Buffy,' and then you'll think that this is magic or something, but it's not. This is real! I'm real! I mean, you're real, too, but… oh, this is really confusing."
Real-world Buffy agreed. Really confusing.
"I can't explain what's going on," said TV Buffy, "because if I do, I don't think this tape will make it through into the… whatever world where I forget everything. But… this isn't the first time you've tried to leave yourself notes and stuff. It's just they keep getting blanked. Removed. And I think I've worked out why. So… I'm not going to mention him at all, just…" She leaned into the camera. "You feel like there's something missing, right?"
Buffy blinked. Yes. She did.
"Something's wrong," said TV Buffy. "And you don't get why or how or what's going on. But you're right. You are missing something. And I'm missing something, too. It's like… the universe changes, and suddenly, I remember a totally different set of things happening. Until it changes back."
So this was a Dawn-Key-Monks thing, then? More implanted memories?
"It's… it's not what you're thinking," said TV Buffy. "And, yeah, I know what that is, but I'm not going to say it out loud because… you know how Dawn likes to snoop around and stuff. This is something bigger. Something worse. You're forgetting… big stuff. Really important stuff." She sighed. "God, this is really, really difficult without mentioning anything too specific."
"So just get to the point, already!" Buffy shouted at her TV self.
TV Buffy seemed to hesitate for quite a while, still clearly trying to finish her previous thought. Then, eventually, she gave it up. "Whatever. It's not important — I mean, it's super duper important, one of the most important things in your life, but… for now, just forget it. Look, this tape's actually a warning. About Riley."
Buffy stared at her TV self.
"I know you're going to say that he's perfect and wonderful!" TV Buffy said. "But… please… please… break up with him! I've been trying to do that for months, now, and it keeps getting erased! Riley isn't perfect, he isn't wonderful, he's just… creepy, and… kind of insane, and…" She shook her head. "The only reason you and I couldn't see it before is because we're getting swept up by the darkness ourselves."
Buffy couldn't even speak. Whoever or whatever this person on TV was, she was really angry at Riley. Like… really, really angry at Riley!
TV Buffy slumped a little. "Yeah, okay, I'm pretty sure that didn't work," she said. "Cause I remember some stuff from when I'm you, and I know you're completely in love with him. But… if you do nothing else, just… stop sleeping with him! Please, please, please, stop doing that! Because I still remember when you're done, and…" She shuddered. "If you had any idea what he's done, you'd never touch him, again!"
Buffy felt her jaw drop open, and didn't know whether or not to close it. The pain in her TV self's eyes was apparent. Her TV self was really, really upset at Riley, upset in a way that seemed to go all the way down into her soul.
"He's… jealous," said TV Buffy. "He's always been jealous, but since he locked up… last year…" She shook her head. "Whatever. Since then, it's gotten worse. Like he's trying to prove something. And… I mean, he shot someone in my bathroom, and… just please, stop sleeping with him! You have no idea how completely gross it is!" She paused, then laughed. "He's been completely desperate to get me back. Spike says he's been paying vampires to drink his blood. He thinks that'll make me like him, again."
Buffy's eyes flicked down to the date on the TV screen, again. It really was taken a few days ago. If she'd known about this a few days ago, why hadn't she confronted Riley then?
"I… talked to him about that," said TV Buffy. "I mean, I don't want to be with him intimately, anymore, but… this kind of thing… it's got to stop! And he just told me it was exactly what…" She closed her eyes. "Riley's right. There is a double standard. But… it's different when it's… I mean, I guess…" She cringed, then opened her eyes again. "The truth is… I don't think there's anything he can do to make me love him, again. Ever since I found out what happened down in the Initiative, things have gotten worse and worse between us. I stopped telling him some things, then I stopped telling him more and more things, and eventually, I just… didn't want to be with him. I don't think I hate him, but… I can't love him. Ever again."
All the things that Riley had accused her of. All the things that Riley had believed of her.
"There's… someone else in my life," TV Buffy whispered. "Someone… amazing. Someone…" she gave a small laugh, "who just drives me crazy, sometimes. Oh, God, some days, I just want to hit him or… kiss him or… I don't know. But when no one else believes in me, he does. When I'm in trouble, he always tries to help." She looked off into the distance, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "Some days, I think I'd give up anything for him. Anything at all. And then other days, I get so pissed off at him, I just want to clobber him until he can barely stand. But… when I think about the possibility that I might forget him… might think he never existed…"
Buffy was stunned. This TV self of hers was so emotional about this. So devoted to this other-someone in her life. Who was it? That was what Buffy couldn't imagine. Was this other-her in love with Xander or something? No… no… that couldn't be it.
TV Buffy blinked, then seemed to realize that she was still on camera.
"Sorry," said TV Buffy. "I kind of… forgot. About the camera." She gave a dry laugh. "If Dawn's watching this, I'm not going to hear the end of it for a week." She wiped at her eyes, even though they were dry, as if expecting that she'd find some teardrops trapped in her lashes. Then she looked back at the camera. At real-life Buffy. "Leave Riley. Or at least stop sleeping with him. And… remember. There's someone else. Someone out there, who you can't live without. Someone you're not remembering, and the fact you're not remembering him is tearing you apart. Just…" TV Buffy ran a hand through her hair. Then her eyes lit up. "I know!" She ran off camera, then arrived back, a bright red notebook in her hands. She held it up to the camera. "This," she said. "This notebook. This isn't blank. You have to remember. This notebook isn't blank! It's—"
Then the footage blinked off, dissolving into static.
Buffy replayed the message several times. But it didn't help. She couldn't understand what was going on.
"It's curious," Giles admitted, after watching the recording through. "Very curious, in fact."
"Is it actually Buffy?" Willow asked. "I mean, it looks like Buffy, and it sounds like Buffy. But… she doesn't remember what we remember."
"I think she is me," said Buffy. "When she was speaking, she kept saying exactly what I was thinking. And that thing she said about Arnold Schwarzenegger was true."
"It's possible," Giles admitted. "Although it would be far more likely that this is some sort of trick or spell, designed by a demon for some… nefarious purpose I cannot deduce, at the moment."
"Or Glory," said Tara. "For… whatever she wants."
Buffy hadn't thought about that. She didn't know who Glory was, or what she could do, but if she could do something like this… she'd work out that Dawn was the Key in seconds!
"Well, we'll certainly be careful about it," Giles said, ejecting the tape. "Keep our eyes and ears open."
"Do you think this is like that Jonathan thing last year?" asked Buffy. "Like, this is some other-world that's being controlled by a spell, and we have to see through the illusion to make things work?"
Everyone looked over at Anya, who was cheerfully rearranging her money in the cash register. She looked up at them, suddenly realizing that they were speaking to her. "What?"
"Is this another world?" Xander asked her. "Some… altered world without shrimp or something?"
"Oh, no," said Anya, turning back to her money. "We've got shrimp. I checked."
"No, that's not—" Xander started.
"It doesn't matter," said Willow. "Anya didn't know any more than the rest of us, with Jonathan's world. I mean, it's kind of impossible to penetrate that kind of illusion."
"Buffy knew," Anya supplied.
Everyone's eyes turned to Buffy.
Buffy swallowed. She… had known before all the others, hadn't she? But it was kind of… weird. Like… something felt off, and she had to work out what.
The way that something felt off, now, and she couldn't put her finger on what it was. The way that things kept not adding up.
"Why would someone want to change the whole world?" Giles mused.
"Oh, they're not," said Anya, counting the one dollar bills. "If that recording's correct, everything's just the way it always is. You're just missing a person."
Buffy sat outside, near the Magic Box, staring down at the ground, pointedly. Trying to let all of this sink in.
"Elizabeth?"
Buffy's eyes shot up, and there, standing in front of her was… Rose.
"That's not my name," Buffy told her.
"You still answered to it," Rose pointed out.
Buffy glanced down at the ground again. "Why don't I remember you until you show up, again? Why am I not remembering stuff that's going on in my life? What's wrong with me?"
"You're… not just Buffy Summers," Rose said. "You're also Elizabeth."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"I don't know," Rose admitted. "That's the kind of thing the Doctor would explain."
"So why'd you say it, then?" Buffy demanded. "My name is Buffy. It's always been Buffy. I'm not this… Elizabeth."
Rose raised up the yellow disk, so that Buffy could see. "This is a dimension cannon," she explained. "It sends me through the walls between universes, but it also… reads timelines. And yours… is weird." She lowered the disk, staring at it, thoughtfully. "Sometimes, it's almost as if… there's two of you."
"That's just stupid," said Buffy. Even though it sounded a lot less stupid now than it would have before she found that tape. She faltered. "If there's some… other me out there… can she change stuff for this me?"
"I don't know," said Rose.
"What do you know?" Buffy demanded. "Why do you keep showing up? Your Doctor isn't here! Just go away and leave me alone!"
Rose said nothing for a long moment. Then nodded, and turned around to go.
"I'm sorry," Rose told her, as she disappeared.
