Neutral Magic

Disclaimer: I do not own the Worst Witch or Weirdsister College series or any characters associated with them. No money is being made from this story.

Chapter 15: Mildred Beyond

Mildred was floating, drifting endlessly in white nothingness. She was unable to understand exactly what she was doing here, as the last thing she could remember was being absorbed by the expanding neutral magic the Whisperer had unleashed. By all rights she ought to be dead.

With sudden panic, Mildred wondered if she actually was dead and now a ghost. But this white emptiness was completely different from anything she had imagined or heard of any sort of afterlife. It was certainly a far cry from the traditional pictures of heaven or hell.

Mildred felt her legs and body, which certainly seemed solid enough. She noticed that her fingernails were still coloured a vivid scarlet, just as she had painted them that morning before meeting Cas for lunch in London. Whoever heard of a ghost wearing nail polish? But then ghosts were always said to appear still wearing the clothes they had worn in life and she was still dressed in the clothes she had put on that morning, so that didn't really prove anything one way or the other. It was all so confusing.

Resolutely, Mildred told herself to be rational. She was still breathing; she could feel the air entering her nostrils and rushing into her lungs. Pressing a hand to her chest she felt the steady beat of her heart. She pinched her leg and felt the sharp twinge of pain. Everything seemed to indicate that she was still a fleshly embodied being, not some discarnate spirit. So where exactly was she and why was she floating aimlessly in this white nothingness?

Gradually though, Mildred became aware that she was no longer drifting aimlessly; she was moving slowly but steadily in a definite direction. It was difficult to keep track of time in that empty void where there were no events to give the word a clear meaning but eventually, after what might have been mere minutes or could have been hours, Mildred felt herself coming to rest on something like a solid surface.

She tried to make out what exactly she had landed on, but could get no clear impression of what the surface looked like. When she looked down everything was curiously vague and indistinct; she couldn't even clearly see her own feet. The white void surrounding her was no longer completely white but shot through with faint traces of innumerable colours, some familiar, others unknown and unnameable.

Somehow Mildred sensed that she had not just drifted here randomly, she had been brought here and brought here for some definite purpose. And at the very moment of that realisation she also suddenly knew she was not alone. Although there was nothing visible, Mildred knew beyond all doubt she was in the presence of a vast, overpowering intelligence. And somehow she sensed something else as well; whatever this intelligence was it possessed immense power, power that was in human terms immeasurable, perhaps even infinite.

"Who are you?"

Her whispered question was startlingly loud in that vast emptiness, but the answer that quickly followed was even more surprising.

"A friend."

The voice was not vast and overpowering, as she might have expected. It was quiet and gentle, as though the words had been whispered closely in her ear. It was a voice she had never heard before yet somehow it seemed familiar, as if she had sensed yet never consciously heard it her entire life.

"A friend?" Mildred repeated hesitantly. "How can you be my friend when I don't even know you?"

"You know me better than you think, Mildred."

"You know my name?"

"I know more than your name, Mildred." The voice told her. "I know your beginning and your end, your life and your death and your life beyond death into eternity. Before you were born, even before I created your world I already knew you, more completely and more intimately than you could ever know yourself."

Mildred swallowed hard. In view of what she had just been told it was not hard to guess who was really speaking to her. It seemed almost silly to ask the obvious question but she did anyway.

"Are you God?"

Gentle laughter echoed around her.

"I have sometimes gone by that name," the voice admitted. "But you can call me Sir!"

Mildred couldn't help giggling a little. She wouldn't have ever imagined the Almighty making a joke, but it clearly had been. Even so, it left her with a serious question that she had to ask.

"Why do you call yourself my friend then?" She queried. "I'm a witch!"

"And what difference does that make?"

Mildred sighed. "Doesn't it say in the Bible that you shouldn't suffer a witch to live?"

"You need not worry about that, Mildred. The original meaning of that scripture is very different to the way it has been translated. What the Hebrews meant by witchcraft is not the same as the ancient European magical art. Suffice it so say that being a witch is not something I hold against you."

"Well I suppose I should be relieved at that," Mildred said. "Why have I been brought here?"

"When the actions of de Malfeasance caused the neutral magic you created to spiral out of control it was necessary for me to intervene. Your world's time has not yet come, Mildred."

"So where am I?"

"A region outside of time and space as you understand it. The neutral magic you created has been stabilised and dispersed, but there are matters that need to be resolved before I send you back to your world."

"What about Guy de Malfeasance?"

"Physically he is dead. Spiritually he is now in a place where he will suffer the consequences of his evil."

"I see!" Mildred swallowed painfully. "I suppose I'm going to be punished as well."

"Why should you be punished, Mildred?"

"I'm responsible for nearly causing disaster. My recklessness and meddling almost brought about the end of the world!"

"Do not trouble yourself over that, Mildred. You acted out of love and a desire to save your friend. I do not hold you responsible for what happened."

Mildred frowned. "I'm not sure I would really consider Miss Hardbroom my friend. She's just my former teacher."

"Nonetheless that is what she is. Constance Hardbroom is a woman you respect and care for deeply, Mildred. Even if you do not fully realise that yourself."

"I suppose that's true," Mildred agreed after a moments thought, and then sighed. "I wish I could see you."

"Not yet, Mildred. No mortal can see me as I truly am and live. But perhaps this will help."

Mildred could not restrain a sharp scream of surprise as a man suddenly appeared next to her. He was a trifle taller than her, and looked to be in his mid thirties. Mildred felt herself shaking at the sight of him, because although she had never met him before she still recognised him immediately. She had seen that face countless times, in paintings and other art. Admittedly his hair was much shorter than usually depicted and the skin a trifle darker but it was still the same face; a face that had haunted western civilisation for nearly two thousand years.

"You seem surprised Mildred?" His voice was deep but gentle. "This is the form in which I once appeared in your world."

Mildred struggled to think of a reply. There was so much she wanted to ask, but there was one question that she desperately wanted answered more than any other. She was afraid to actually voice it out loud however.

"Ask your question, Mildred."

"Why do you allow so much evil and suffering?" Mildred asked hesitantly. "So many people pray to you, asking for help but you never seem to answer."

He looked at her searchingly for a moment.

"I will answer that question with one of my own, Mildred. Since graduating from Weirdsister College you have led a rather promiscuous lifestyle. Suppose every time you wanted to sleep with a young man I made him temporarily impotent. How would you have reacted?"

Mildred flushed and looked down, avoiding his eyes. Although there was no condemnation in that gaze, only compassion and understanding, she felt utterly vile as though caught in an indecent act. It was chastening to realise that he already knew every detail of her sexual escapades, every thought and feeling she had experienced in all those encounters as well as her far from admirable motives. Mildred suddenly felt totally despicable.

She really did not want to answer that question but realised there was no option but to tell the complete truth.

"I would have been angry." Mildred admitted at last, reluctantly. "I would have felt my freedom was being interfered with."

"Exactly!" He gave Mildred a smile of approbation for her honesty. "Many say they want me to end all the evil and suffering in the world, but what they really mean is they want me to stop what they find inconvenient or distressing but still allow them to lead selfish and immoral lives. If every time they lusted after someone else's spouse they were struck blind or every time they began mocking someone behind their back they were struck dumb they would soon start complaining I had taken away their freedom. They do not want a god to worship but a servant, an omnipotent cosmic butler to cater to their every whim. Well I am not to be used in such a way, Mildred. Those who think like that should take care what they wish for. The time will come when I shall put a stop to evil forever, but that will mean an end to your world as you have known it."

Mildred remained silent, thinking about what she had just been told. She could understand the point he had made but even if that accounted for him allowing all the hurt and cruelty people inflicted on each other it still didn't explain natural evils such as disease and earthquakes. But before she could voice this objection he was speaking again, obviously knowing her thoughts.

"It need not have been that way, Mildred. If your first ancestors had remained obedient to me I would have sustained them and all of you in perfection forever, without death, disease or pain. But they wanted to be independent of me, to be gods themselves and all of you have followed in the same path. All the suffering your race has experienced ever since is simply the consequence of that. But it is not a state of affairs I will permit to continue forever."

Once again Mildred was silent as she thought about this. She didn't really see what was so terrible about wanting to be independent, but then perhaps that was just the result of her own fallen nature. Yet the state of existence he appeared to be implying was ideal seemed rather stifling to her.

"It would not have been stifling, Mildred. If your first ancestors had not been so impatient, then everything they sought in disobeying me they would have been given eventually, in due time when they were ready for it. But now it is time for you to return."

"I won't remember all this, will I?" Mildred asked hesitantly.

"Actually you will!" He gave her an amused smile. "I trust I can rely on you not to tell anyone?"

Mildred laughed ruefully. "You know you can or you wouldn't be giving me the choice. Anyway who would believe me?"

He just chuckled softly.

"There are a few who might. But I know you will not break trust. And as a reward for that and the way you have stood against evil in the past, you will find a little surprise awaiting you when you return."

"What surprise?" Mildred asked curiously.

"You'll see!" He chuckled again. "And now it is time for you to depart. Farewell Mildred Hubble, until we meet again."

Mildred had half expected that she would return the way she arrived, drifting away in the white void surrounding her. Instead, utter oblivion suddenly claimed her.

When she came to Mildred knew immediately, although without knowing how, that a considerable period of time had passed. She was in her bedroom at the flat she shared with Enid, She sat up abruptly in her bed, suddenly realising that she was now dressed in flimsy nightgown. Next to her bed was a chair in which Cas Crowfeather was sitting, reading a book. As Mildred sat up Cas looked up from her book, an expression of surprise and relief on her features.

"Millie!"