Part V
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"Oh, look at you!" cried the Doctor, excitement and wonder in his voice, as he approached the five slithering Lucronis look-a-likes. "So you're these so-called gods, then?"
They hissed, their snakelike bodies weaving around the room, their tails encircling the perimeter and trapping Buffy and the Doctor inside, as they tilted their heads to get a better look at the two people who'd just entered their inner sanctum.
"We are divine," one of them hissed. "We demand tribute."
Buffy almost jumped. "They can talk?"
"Course they can," said the Doctor, hands in his pockets. "Most of your demons can talk, you know. You simply can't understand them without the TARDIS around." He took a step forwards, to address the giant copper-tinted snakelike being in front of him. "Hello! I'm the Doctor, and this is Elizabeth. Who'd you be then?"
"We are the Argrodentides," hissed the snake. "And we are gods. Bow before us, tiny mortals, or we shall consume you."
"Nice to meet you," the Doctor continued. "Elizabeth and I just stumbled onto your little town here, and we've been noticing that you've been eating all the children. So we'd like to ask you to stop and leave, please."
The hissing laughter of the five creatures echoed through the room.
"Don't tell me you thought that was going to work," Buffy muttered to him.
"It's always good to be polite!" the Doctor replied.
"We have always hungered for the souls of children," said one of the Argrodentides. "In the world outside, we starved. One of our number was murdered. We must feed. We must survive."
Buffy reached into the picnic basket to get out her sword, but the Doctor put a hand on her arm, and one glance up into his eyes cautioned her — not now.
"The woman believes herself a warrior!" said another Argrodentide, with a hint of laughter. "Little child, taught to defend the world, yet unable to protect those she loves most."
Buffy felt a pang of sorrow flood her as she thought of her mother in the hospital, of Dawn being interrogated by Glory, of Angel dying from that poisoned arrow, of the Doctor limp and lifeless in Adam's arms as he was carried away. She pushed the thoughts out of her head.
"Mild telepathic abilities, then?" the Doctor asked.
"And you, alien wanderer!" said a third Argrodentide, swooping its head down towards the Doctor. It analyzed the Time Lord, carefully, its eyes peering with a penetrating stare. "What fear you have! What great terror you conceal!"
The Doctor said nothing.
Buffy glanced over at him. He didn't look scared. And why would he be? He'd faced worse stuff than this before, and come out all right. There was nothing to be afraid of.
"You remember what you did the last time you and her were given this choice," the Argrodentide hissed at the Doctor. "You don't know if you'll be able to stop yourself from doing it again."
The Doctor fixed them with a pointed glare. "If you can see that," he told them, in a dark voice, "then you know why it would be a very, very good idea for you to leave. Right now."
And the weirdest thing was that this statement seemed to make them hesitate. They all looked at one another, then bowed their heads together, whispering in sibilant slithers and hisses too quiet to make out.
"You know, for big evil snakes that threatened to eat us, there's not a whole lot of eating going on," Buffy pointed out.
"Nah, they won't eat us!" the Doctor dismissed. "At a guess, I'd say the hormones produced by the human body after puberty are toxic to them. That's why they need children."
"But… I've seen them eat…" she trailed off. Actually, the only adult Lucronis had eaten was a vampire. Which had probably turned to dust the moment it hit the digestive tract. So… the Doctor was probably right, then. Buffy shook her head. "But if they just eat babies, then why are there people still living here? Eventually, if you keep killing all the kids, the whole population is going to die out, and these snake guys will have no food."
"Well, they must keep a few children alive," the Doctor said. "Just to keep population levels up. But considering the number of human pheromones pumped into the air, round here, I'm guessing they're still able to get a pretty substantial breakfast."
"Huh?" asked Buffy.
"Pheromones," the Doctor explained. "A chemical agent used to produce a certain biological reaction. In this case, sex."
Oh, God, now Buffy remembered what pheromones were, and what had very nearly happened to Xander the last time the term had come up. "You mean…" said Buffy, "breathing the air around here makes me want to… you know?"
"Well, in a nutshell, yes," the Doctor said.
Buffy looked at the creatures surrounding them. "I've gotta say, the giant baby-eating snakes kind of spoil the mood for me."
"Ah, yes, there is that," the Doctor admitted.
The giant baby-eating snakes in question turned back to the Doctor and Buffy. "We have thought the matter over," they said. "And we have decided."
"And?" asked the Doctor.
One of the Argrodentides snapped its tail around, and wound it around the Doctor's skinny frame, dragging him up about ten feet off the ground. "We are going to kill you."
The Doctor raised an eyebrow. "What? You sure?"
"Yes," hissed the Argrodentides.
"Then I'm very, very sorry," the Doctor told them. "Because you've made a big mistake." He glanced down at Buffy.
"We do not fear your warrior!" the Argrodentides told the Doctor. "A small and insignificant little human girl? We are the Argrodentides! We are might, and strength, and…"
"Really, really stupid," said Buffy, taking a torch off the wall. "Because, if you do have mind-reading abilities, then why don't you look at what I'm thinking, now?"
She concentrated on the memory of herself in the sewer, going up against Lucronis. The memory of the smell of charred scales and sewer water. The rumble and roar as the creature burned to death.
The Argrodentides all began to shriek, with just the same high pitched anger and desperation as Lucronis had when Buffy had killed it.
"Yeah," said Buffy. "Exactly."
And that was when she set the building on fire.
It was sort of beautiful — the burning building ejecting shimmeringly hot air out against the holo-generators, making the sky twinkle and dance above their heads. But far, far more beautiful was the sight that emerged from the building's door — a petite, blond woman ushering a group of frightened young kids out of the building that had held them captive their whole lives, two babies in her arms, picnic basket beneath her elbow, a look of determination on her face.
These were the moments that made life brilliant. Young children being given a chance to live in freedom and happiness. The crumbling of an unjust society to make way for a new one, a better one. And… that smile on her lips, as she looked up at him, and their eyes met.
She gave the children to the care of the nearby gawking villagers, then ran over to the Doctor, swooping him into a hug that nearly knocked him to the ground. He stumbled, and managed to catch his footing.
It was sad that the Argrodentides hadn't chosen to leave. The Doctor always had a part of him that mourned when someone made a wrong decision. But… well, perhaps it was the human pheromones finally getting to him, but, wrapped up in this hug, feeling the love and excitement radiate off of this young human girl that he admired so very much, feeling her spirit shine more brightly than a burst of hydrogen fusion reactions — the Doctor wasn't nearly as bothered as he should be. In fact, he felt rather happy.
Right. Yes. He really needed to get out of there. Before the pheromones made him do something he regretted.
"Better get going," he told Buffy, trying but failing to pry her off of him. She really was ridiculously strong.
Buffy didn't answer, just squeezed him tighter.
"Elizabeth…"
But anything he was about to say was cut off by the contact of her lips on his, the adrenaline and pheromones and excitement clearly blending together in Buffy's mind to produce this effect. And… oh, dear, this was rather nice, wasn't it? Perhaps they didn't have to leave at all. Perhaps…
The Doctor gave himself a mental jolt, and managed to wiggle out of Buffy's grasp. Ah. Yes. That was right. Becoming intimate made them wish to stay. If they actually did continue on like this, they'd be trapped here forever.
"Elizabeth," said the Doctor. "We have to go—"
This time, Buffy really did tackle the Doctor to the ground. She had eyes filled with lust and love and so much caring — a sweet, beautiful, deep caring that went all the way to the bottom of her soul. The moment they collided with the grass beneath them, she backed off, worried she'd hurt him or pushed him too far, clear terror on her face. She took a few panicked breaths, then, finally, ventured to cup his face with a gentle, soft hand.
He took her hand away, and held it in his own. "It's a trick, Elizabeth. The more intimate we get with one another, the less we want to leave."
"Then let's stay," said Buffy. She gazed at him with those intense blue eyes of hers, examining every square inch of his face as if drinking him in.
"We can't," said the Doctor.
Buffy gave a small laugh, and tucked her head beneath his chin, lying on top of him in a way that he really — really — should not be at all enjoying. Even remotely.
"I'll protect you," she said. "I promise." She encircled his upper body with her arms, pulling him closer to her. "I won't let this town go all angry mob on you just because you're an alien."
"What about your sister?" the Doctor reminded her.
Buffy made a face. "Dawn's an annoying twerp who can take care of herself!"
"She's also an incredibly dangerous individual carrying an energy that could rip apart the multiverse."
"I don't care, I don't care, I don't care!" Buffy cried. She cuddled into him, a little bit closer, nestling her cheek against his chest. "I just want to stay here forever. With you."
Ah. Now that was a very, very bad sign. Because the Doctor knew that, if she were in her right mind, she'd never say something like that.
The Doctor jerked the picnic basket — now a bit more crumpled, scorched, and (in areas) frayed — out from where it was still looped around Buffy's arm. "Right, then." And he started to take the basket apart.
Buffy's eyes went wide, and with lightning fast speed, she snatched the basket away from him. "What are you doing?" she demanded.
"Well, you said—"
"This is Dawn's picnic basket!" Buffy shouted at him, waving the basket in the air. "You're not taking apart Dawn's picnic basket! You can't…" She trailed off, as she blinked, and some clarity seemed to come back into her eyes.
She got off the Doctor, and slumped down into the grass, beside him, the basket in her hands.
"She got it when she was nine," Buffy said, in a voice barely above a whisper. "She always wanted one. She was so excited when Mom gave it to her that she wouldn't stop running around the whole day. She kept putting things in, and then taking them out, and then putting them back in again." Buffy gave a soft smile. "She dragged me off to a picnic the next day. And right in the middle, it started pouring rain. All the grass was wet, and the sandwiches were soggy, and the passing cars kept spraying muddy water all over us, but… Dawn wouldn't let us pack up and leave. This was her picnic, and we were going to enjoy it, no matter what." Her face crinkled into sorrow. "And none of that ever really happened. None of it's real."
The Doctor glanced around at the sky overhead, the people running around, the firemen putting out the burning building. "Neither is this place, really."
Buffy clutched the picnic basket. "This," she said. "This basket. This is real." She stared at the basket with all the love and worry for her sister shining through her eyes. "And I'm not going to let anything happen to it."
The Doctor stood up, and offered Buffy a hand. Buffy took it, got to her feet, and together, the two of them made their way back to the outside world.
It was dark outside. A loose circuit in the time field generators, the Doctor suspected. But Buffy still put the picnic basket into Giles' convertible, and they began to drive home. She drifted off into a light sleep almost the moment they began to drive.
The Doctor stopped the car, a little ways away, just to watch her. See her so peaceful, so quiet, the moonlight her blanket and the stars her pillow. It was a peaceful, still side of her that the Doctor so rarely saw. It made him want to shake her awake and drag her off on some other adventure, show her something new and interesting and brilliant that she'd never seen before.
As if she'd picked up on his thoughts, Buffy rolled in her seat, and reached out for him. Her hand catching his arm and hugging it to her, although her eyes were still closed.
"Never leave me," she mumbled.
The Doctor thought of all his other companions. All the others who he'd cared for, so very much, who'd left him in the end. Whom he had to leave, because he'd ruined their lives.
He thought about Dawn.
And said nothing.
The moment that Dawn and Donna noticed that Buffy and the Doctor had returned, they peered through the window.
"Do you think it worked?" Dawn asked.
Donna checked her watch. "Half past ten? Either they're very quick about it, or it hasn't worked."
Dawn frowned, as she noticed the sleeping Buffy in the car. The Doctor leaned over and gently shook Buffy awake. Buffy stretched a little, then her entire face seemed to light up as she spotted the Doctor, and she leaned forwards as if she wanted to kiss him.
But didn't.
"Well, it's got to happen some time!" Dawn complained. "I mean, look at them! They're all over each other!"
"If they withstood that super-alien-aphrodisiac we gave them, it's never going to happen," Donna told her. "Trust me. I took some of that stuff, and I wound up hooking up with some alien that looked like a big blue blob of jelly."
Dawn pouted. "At least we tried."
The Doctor and Buffy then came through the door, Dawn and Donna jumping to their feet and trying to look as innocent as possible. The Doctor arched an eyebrow at them, which told them that, yes, he had worked out that there was an aphrodisiac in their food and no, he was not terribly happy about it.
"You guys have fun by yourselves?" Buffy asked.
"I dunno," said Dawn. "It's been pretty lame around here. What about you? Do any serious picnicking activities?"
"Well, we killed some baby-eating monsters," said Buffy. "Ended a corrupt religion, toppled an oppressive government. So… it was kind of a Buffy-day."
"And the whole picnic thing…?" Dawn asked.
"Kind of didn't happen," Buffy told her. "But… we saved your picnic basket!" She held up the basket, which was now misshapen, and broken in a few places, but still certainly there. "And I promise, promise, promise I'll give it back as soon as I get the…" she glanced over at the Doctor, "weapons I definitely didn't conceal inside out of there."
"Well, Donna and I had better be going," said the Doctor. "Drop by the 70th century, alert the authorities about illegal tampering in Earth's past, see if we can't shut that place down." He turned. "Donna?"
And the way that the Doctor and Buffy left one another told both Donna and Dawn that, beyond a shadow of a doubt, nothing had happened between them.
A few hours later, after the Doctor and Donna had left, Buffy was putting away the weapons she'd concealed inside the picnic basket, when she noticed something she'd overlooked. Something she knew she definitely hadn't put in there.
A pair of handcuffs.
She looked at the handcuffs, and remembered what the Doctor had told her about the substance the food had been dosed with, and suddenly put two and two together. She spun around.
"Dawn!"
