Chapter 27. Moments
April 2025
The sound of the baby's heartbeat was strong in Bucky's ears, even the ambient sounds in the obstetrician's waiting room seemed to fade against the strong pulse of his son's heart. When he first began hearing it that one quiet night when he and Tracey were in bed it surprised him. Her heartbeat, like her breathing, had just become part of the sounds of his normal life but the addition of the small, quick and rhythmic pulsing from Tracey's abdomen had filled him with wonder. The receptionist stood up from her desk and called their name, leading them to a darkened room, with a bed positioned along the side, and a large computer console right beside it.
"So, today you find out the sex of the baby," she smiled. "You must be so excited."
Before Bucky could say he already knew Tracey answered. "We are, thank you."
"Take your bottoms off," the receptionist said. "Leave your underwear on, cover yourself with the sheet and the technician will be in shortly."
She left, closing the door and Bucky pouted a little. "I already know it's a boy," he huffed. "Why don't you like me saying it?"
Tracey made a nurturing sound and stroked Bucky's hand as he sat on the technician's chair. He picked it up and kissed it then looked at the array of equipment.
"Explain again how this works," he said.
"I had to drink enough water to fill my bladder because liquids conduct sound waves well," she said patiently, as she removed her maternity pants and laid on the bed. "They put a gel on my belly to help the transducer, which generates and receives the sound waves, move effortlessly across my skin. The sound waves hit the baby and bounce back, and the computer translates it into an image. Just like sonar for a submarine."
Bucky laid the cloth over her and kissed her then sat back in the chair, holding her hand. A few minutes later the technician arrived, and Bucky stood up, repositioning himself on a chair at the foot of the bed. After introducing herself the technician asked Tracey to lift her shirt up to just under her bra and lower her pants below her bulge. Then she squirted some gel on Tracey's belly and used the transducer to spread it around before starting the procedure.
"I'm going to be looking at certain benchmarks first," she said kindly, "like size and shape of the head, confirming the limbs are forming properly, and how long the body is. Despite how large the baby looks on the screen and how large your belly is the baby at this point is about as long as a large banana, about 10 inches."
Bucky watched the screen closely seeing all of these shadowy and ghostly images appear, with places marked on them electronically, then disappear as she lifted the transducer to another location and scanned from there. After about ten minutes of this she seemed satisfied then she turned back to them.
"Okay, I'm going to try to get a scan that shows a full body image of your baby," she said. "We'll take a picture of it and then I'll get another of the head. We'll print them both off for you as keepsakes."
Changing a setting on the large machine she began scanning again and this time she had a full image of the baby and saved it, then she focused on the head and saved that.
"This little one is being shy right now, but I caught an image earlier, so I'll include that," she said, bringing up the earlier image and showing them a protuberance from between his legs. "That's the penis. You're having a boy."
Smiling, Bucky reached out for Tracey's hand and squeezed it, happy to finally have their shared vision confirmed. The technician brought up the full body image and left that on the screen while she went to check with the radiologist to make sure they had everything they needed. Bucky shook his head, still looking at the image on the screen with a smile on his face.
"This is incredible," he said. "How long has this technology been around?"
"I think it was first developed in the 1950s," said Tracey, "but it didn't become a routine tool until the late 1970s. There's a 3D version but it's kind of seen as a vanity thing, showing you a more detailed image of the baby's face. I'm good without it."
The technician returned saying they had everything they needed, and Tracey could get dressed. She wiped off most of the gel before leaving the couple on their own. After returning to the waiting room, they were called in for Tracey's regular checkup where Dr. Singh confirmed that everything looked good, and she would see them again in a month. On the way back to the new house Bucky stopped at a garden centre.
"Why are we stopping?" asked Tracey. "We got everything we need for the house."
"Not quite," said Bucky, helping her out. "I saw something in a flyer and wanted to know if we should get it now or wait."
Taking his hand, they walked inside then to the side of the store where another door opened to an outside display area. There was a large display of outdoor building projects, including gazebos, pergolas, and children's play equipment. A man was bent over then stood up and turned.
"Bucky, Tracey, hi!" said Jack. "How are the renovations going?"
"Just about finished," said Bucky, shaking the other man's hand. "Both existing bathrooms are done, the third bathroom is almost complete, and the painting is mostly done so we're moved in. Contractor is coming to demolish the old shed in the back and prepare the ground for the garage pad. In two weeks, we should have a functioning garage."
"So what are you here for?" asked Jack, then he glanced at Tracey. "Or should I even guess?"
Bucky blushed slightly then pointed to one of the children's play sets. "I'll be pulling the old flower beds out and installing grass," he said. "Although if I put one of these in then maybe I should put wood chips down instead for a softer surface. What do you think?"
"When's the baby due?" asked Jack.
"End of July," said Tracey. "I think Bucky is getting ahead of himself."
"He could be walking early," said Bucky. "First super soldier baby means anything is possible."
"You keeping the mature trees in the back?" asked Jack. "If you are then grass likely won't grow. The wood chips would be a good filler. I'll tell you what. These units are usually at their highest price now, until after Labour Day. Wait until then and buy one of these pre-assembled ones at a discount. I'll help you dismantle and reinstall it in your yard. If your baby is an early walker, he'll have it there over the winter."
They shook on it, Bucky knowing that Jack would let him know when to come in to buy one of the sets. On the ride back to the house Bucky took Tracey's hand in his.
"When should I take leave? I want to be home with you for a bit before the baby is born and for some time after."
She squeezed his fingers, knowing he wanted to take in as much of the pregnancy as possible. So far he had been away for two missions. The first one needed a week of training at the compound to prepare as the United Nations tried a diplomatic solution first before sending in the Avengers. Then it took almost ten days for them to infiltrate the areas unnoticed and get set up to rescue the hostages that were being held in scattered locations throughout a troubled region of the country who asked for their help. Everything had to be timed down to the second to prevent the terrorists who were holding the hostages from alerting their other locations to the rescue attempt. During those ten days all of the Avengers had been unable to risk communicating with their loved ones. It had been hard but their reunion had been incredible, as Tracey knew it would be. Once they had satiated their desires he shared everything about the mission with her, of how fulfilling it had been when they finally launched the rescue attempt and successfully helped the hostages escape. He had ended up carrying two kids in his arms for hours as they had to hike to a safe location to be evacuated.
"I never thought people would fully accept a former assassin as a rescuer but those kids wouldn't let me go," he said at one point. "They felt safe with me and even when I took my jacket and over shirt off to cover them they didn't seem bothered at the arm. It made me realize something."
"What's that?" asked Tracey.
He began to choke up at first then smiled, embarrassed at the show of emotion. "Our kids will only know me like this," he croaked. "They'll grow up with the arm, and the strength, and the fact I can hear whispers. It will be normal to them."
"It's normal to me," she replied. "You're a normal guy with extraordinary abilities but you still put your pants on one leg at a time just like other men. You like to eat, and you like to have a beer while we watch sports on TV. Normal is what we make it."
It seemed to be the right answer for him. Two weeks later he was called out on another mission, a secret one. For two weeks she heard nothing, except an occasional call from Maria Hill, who was based at the new compound, to say everyone was safe. When Bucky returned home from that one, he had injuries that at first alarmed her, but he assured her that the super serum would heal him within days. It did and he finished repainting the house the week after.
"Hey, are you with me?" he asked, interrupting her train of thought. "I was asking when I should block off time for parental leave."
"Sorry," said Tracey, "I was just thinking of you already requesting time off when you've just started taking missions."
"It's in my contract," he said. "It's in all of our contracts. If we get married and start a family, we get parental leave. Rhodey was emphatic about that. He wants everyone to have the opportunity to have a family life."
"Well," she said. "I'm thinking two weeks before my due date, as that's probably as late as I'll still be visiting clients. I might finish sooner, depending on how I feel. If I break anything else at the office, they might send me home earlier."
Bucky grinned at Tracey, finding it amusing that the serum in the baby had affected her strength. Surges in her grip strength had resulted in her breaking several doors at the office of the public health nurse's department, when she closed them hard enough to break the window or had accidentally pulled them off the hinges. She had even pulled the drawers right out of her desk, occasionally flinging them across the room with the momentum. Tracey's appetite had increased exponentially as she was now eating as much as Bucky. Then there were the odd food cravings. Lately, it had been sour things, like sauerkraut and pickles combined with lemon pudding. A chuckle escaped his lips.
"What are you laughing at?" asked Tracey.
"Nothing," he lied, knowing she might get upset with him, then he saw her face and knew he had to tell her the truth. "Just thinking of the havoc you've wreaked at your office and how your cravings are so intense."
"Tell me about it," she said. "They don't even know if the strength will go away when the baby is born. Shuri is speculating that your semen has DNA altering capabilities. That's the scary part. I don't know what I'm going to do if it's permanent."
"You'll adjust," he said. "It could be nature's way of making sure you can keep up with the baby." He glanced at her seeing her acceptance of that possibility. "You're not regretting getting pregnant, are you?"
"No," she replied emphatically, then squeezed his hand again. "I want as many kids with you as we can handle. We have a big enough house for them. I'm just blowing off steam at the changes. I kind of like not having to ask you to open a jar of pickles for me."
Grinning, Bucky raised her hand to his lips and kissed it. "I was sure lucky finding you," he said. "You always see the bright side to things."
That evening they settled down in front of the TV to watch a movie, with a large bowl of buttered popcorn, and M&Ms mixed in as a snack. Bucky had a soda while Tracey drank a protein milkshake, recommended by Dr. Singh as a way to get extra protein for the baby. An hour later, Bucky gently took the bowl off of Tracey's belly and lifted her sleeping form into his arms. She whimpered softly in protest but he just shushed her gently as he carried her up the stairs. As she sat on the edge of the bed he undressed her and helped her into a sleep shirt, one of his dress shirts as her sleep shirts were too small. Before she did it up he kissed her belly and spoke to the baby, telling him to let his mama sleep all night. After making sure she went to the bathroom and brushed her teeth first, he then helped her into bed and tucked her in. For a few moments he sat on the edge of the bed gazing at her as she struggled to keep her eyes open.
"What time is it?" she asked.
"8:30," he replied. "I'm going to work on the baby's room for a while then I'll come to bed. You sleep well, sweetheart. I love you."
"Love you, too," she whispered, then turned over to her side, as he smiled, loving this part of his day.
July 18, 2025
The feel of the baby pressing outward against Bucky's hand which lay across Tracey's belly made him smile. It made her groan as she pulled the covers back.
"Right on my bladder," she said, as she slid towards the edge of the bed. She looked at the clock, seeing it was past 9 am. They slept in after being up late the night before. "Have to get up anyways to start making the food for today."
"I can do that," said Bucky. "So can Sam. He's good with food. I'll wake him up and we can get started."
"He's our guest," said Tracey as she made it to a standing position. "So are Sarah and the boys." She cradled her belly as she walked to the ensuite bathroom. "Only 2 more weeks and he'll be here."
Bucky placed his hand behind his head, waiting until Tracey was done before he used the bathroom and got dressed. He had only been home a week after being on a mission. Rhodes basically said to start his leave on his return as he didn't want to risk sending Bucky out so close to Tracey's due date. With everything in the house finally done, the garage built, and the yard landscaping completed they both thought it would be okay to have the postponed baby shower today and have everyone together one more time before the baby was born. Sarah and the boys hadn't seen Tracey since the wedding and had made a big fuss over her when they arrived the night before. Two days ago, they also did the postponed photoshoot of Tracey's pregnancy. She had looked so beautiful in a white sundress that showed off her baby bump and the beautiful breasts she had acquired. He felt himself getting hard at the thought of how incredibly sexy she looked. He was almost tempted to follow her into the shower and have his way with her. A cry from the bathroom interrupted his fantasy and he sat up.
"Bucky!" cried Tracey and he jumped out of the bed, knocking on the bathroom door first before opening it. She was standing in front of the toilet surrounded by a large puddle on the floor. "My water broke."
"You're sure?" he asked, to her look of disbelief at his question. "Okay, what do you want me to do?"
"Help me get cleaned up," she said. "I need a maxi pad and a panty so that it absorbs any more fluid. Then I need to get dressed and we wait for the first contractions."
Turning on the shower he helped get her night clothes off and held her hand as she stepped into it so she could get clean. While she was in there he ran for some spare towels to soak up the amniotic fluid that was all over the floor. Once he got that cleaned up he dried it with more towels, dumping all of them in the laundry hamper. Washing it could be done later. He pulled out a pair of panties and found her maxi pads, placing one inside. Then he picked out a dress from the closet, one she had already picked to wear to the hospital as it was easy to get on and off. With Tracey saying she was done in the shower he turned it off and wrapped her in a large bath towel, drying her off. Helping her out of the shower she placed her hands on his shoulders while he helped her into the panties and pulled them up. She put a front fastening athletic bra on then the dress and he gave her his arm leading her to an armchair in their room.
"You good?" he asked. "No contractions yet?"
"I'm good, still nothing," she said.
She watched as he got dressed then he went to the guest room and knocked on Sam's door. He heard rustling inside and then Sam opened it, looking sleepy.
"Sorry," said Bucky, hearing Maria ask what was going on. "Tracey's water just broke. No contractions yet but it looks like our little get together is going to be put on hold."
"What can I do?" asked Sam, now alert.
"Hold the fort here," said Bucky. "Once the contractions start we're heading for the hospital and we don't how long it will take. You're pretty much on your own until the baby's born."
"You want me to phone the others?"
"I'll phone Rebecca and Janice but if you could get hold of the others I would appreciate it," said Bucky, then he turned his head as he heard Tracey's voice calling him. Grimacing at Sam he headed back to their room.
"They've started," she said, looking at the clock. "It wasn't bad but definitely not Braxton Hicks."
"Okay," he said. "I'm going to put your bags in the car then I'm phoning Rebecca and your mom."
"I can do that," said Tracey. "Not like I'm doing anything else at the moment."
He went into the walk-in closet, picked up Tracey's and the baby's bags, heading out their bedroom door. Entering the garage, he put the bags in the back then opened the garage door and backed the car out past the motorcycle he was still working on as he didn't want Tracey to have to negotiate past it to get into the car. Then he headed back into the house seeing Sam in the kitchen starting up the coffee. His friend leaned back against the counter with his arms folded across his chest.
"So, this is it," said Sam, grinning. "Day of decision. Is it going to be a Sam or a Steve?"
Bucky smirked. "Who says it's a boy?"
"Tracey already told Maria." Sam grinned even more at Bucky's scowl. "Plus, I heard you tell Rhodey. Was I the only one you were keeping it a secret from by not telling me?"
Bucky's face was pink then he let out a big breath. "I wanted to surprise you with his name, Samuel George," he admitted. "After my best friend and my dad. The next boy will be Steve something." Sam stuck his hand out then pulled Bucky into a manly pound hug. "I'd never hear the end of it if the first one wasn't named after you."
"Thank you, it's means a lot to be his godfather," said Sam.
"I didn't say you would be his godfather," protested Bucky, pulling away and heading back up the stairs.
"Too late! I call dibs!"
"I can't hear you!" Bucky called back, almost at the second floor.
"You have super soldier hearing," answered Sam. "You can hear everything!"
He grinned again, not minding one bit that the plans for today had changed. Actually, they could still have the gathering themselves, all waiting at the house for word of the birth. Bucky could always make video calls. In fact they could have a virtual baby shower. Sam started making plans to go ahead with the party.
Upstairs Bucky had just entered the bedroom and felt a rush of emotion at the sight of Tracey waiting in the armchair. She stood up and he quickly went to her side.
"I had another," she said. "Eight minutes after the first. Dr. Singh said if they were under ten minutes apart to come in, since we don't know if a super soldier baby has a different labour profile."
"Okay," replied Bucky. "I'll carry you down. I had to tell Sam the name. He said you told Maria about it being a boy."
"She already knew, apparently hearing it from Rhodey," answered Tracey as she put her arms around her husband's neck. "Was he pleased?"
"Insufferable," grinned Bucky. "Did you call your mom?"
"Yeah, she and Rebecca want to be at the hospital. First ones to hold the baby. What about the others?"
"Sam said he would phone them but maybe if he took over the party that would keep them here in one place," said Bucky. "Chances are they might keep you and the baby overnight seeing as how he's two weeks early. It would give you a chance to recuperate before seeing them all."
He headed down the stairs with Tracey in his arms as she contemplated the suggestion. Having this baby shower so close to her due date hadn't been the original plan but the last mission had kind of messed up everyone's plans. If people were willing to come over and have the gathering, they could do it virtually. Until the labour pains became unbearable it might be fun to have it while they were at the hospital, and everyone was here. Sam was just pouring a coffee for himself, and Maria as Bucky arrived in the kitchen carrying Tracey, putting her down gently.
"What do you think about Maria and I hosting the baby shower while you're at the hospital?" asked Sam.
"Okay, if you two could take over hosting the baby shower I think we could take part over a video call," said Tracey. "We already postponed it once. It would keep everyone here. Maybe just have it sooner in the day rather than later when my labour gets more intense. Bucky, make sure you have your charging cord with you."
"What's your tablet password?" asked Maria. "We can use that and project it onto the TV screen so everyone sees you."
Bucky shared it with her then looked lovingly at Tracey. "You ready to do this?"
She nodded and took his arm, stepping out to the back. On the way to the hospital, she texted Maria what foods were there, receiving a text back that it would be taken care of. A few minutes later she had another contraction and timed it. It came half a minute sooner than the second contraction and Tracey thought it was a little stronger. After arriving at the hospital and getting checked in then set up another hour had passed. The labour had progressed slightly but there were still several hours to go according to Dr. Singh.
"We were supposed to have a baby shower today," said Bucky. "Are you okay if we attend virtually? It was already postponed once because of a mission."
"You want to attend your baby shower by video call while Tracey is in labour?" repeated Dr. Singh, looking at both of them for confirmation. "Sure, go for it, but when it gets down to the nitty gritty your attention is on Tracey, not the shower, understood?"
"Absolutely," grinned Bucky.
He made the call, which was answered by Maria. She switched the image at their end onto the TV and they both smiled as everyone waved at them, shouting words of encouragement. Without delay they began opening the presents with the person who brought it opening it for them. As nurses came in and out of their delivery suite they would stop to watch with the couple. Janice and Rebecca finally arrived at the hospital, with both Bucky and Tracey asking if they could stay to witness the delivery.
"I was a nurse," said Rebecca, when Dr. Singh was deciding. "I can handle it."
It was decided and the four of them settled in for the long process while still taking part in the baby shower. Once the presents were all opened Dr. Singh came in and looked over the baby's heartbeat monitor. As she performed an exam on her Bucky relocated to another part of the room keeping an eye on Tracey while he addressed the others. A nod from Dr. Singh signalled that Tracey was almost ready to begin pushing. He faced the camera on his phone and looked at the others.
"Well, this is it," he said. "Thank you for adapting to the situation. I'm going to shut it down now as I don't want to miss a thing. You're welcome to stay there for as long as you need to. I don't know when this baby will arrive, but I'll call as soon as I can."
"Bucky," said Rebecca, with a slightly sharp tone in her voice. "Tracey needs you now."
"I'm right there," he said to his sister then he looked at the phone again. "Talk to you soon."
Ending the session, he washed his hands and sat near Tracey's head. Her hand came up to his and he grasped it, while Janice held her other hand. Rebecca sat nearby, watching intently. What happened in the next five minutes was something he would never forget as Tracey began bearing down with the immense pressure she was feeling. When the head crowned, he looked up at the mirror that was angled behind the doctor shocked to see lighter brown hair. He had assumed with both of them being dark brown haired that the baby's would be as well.
"Tracey's hair was lighter when she was born," said Janice, noticing his look. "She darkened over the first year."
Another push brought the head out and Tracey grasped his hand painfully as she panted while Dr. Singh suctioned out the nose and mouth. With encouragement from all of them Tracey gave another push as the first shoulder and arm came out then with a final push the baby slid out completely and Dr. Singh laid him on Tracey's belly.
"Bucky, look at him," cried Tracey but he couldn't answer as he was overcome with emotion.
Tentatively, with Dr. Singh's encouragement they both touched him, and he grasped Bucky's finger, squeezing tightly to the point he gasped at the strength of his son. Then a smiling nurse came with a receiving blanket and wrapped it over baby Sam, lifting him over to a warming bed. While Dr. Singh examined him, another nurse monitored Tracey's vitals, reminding her that more contractions would occur to expel the placenta. Soon they came back with little Sam and laid him in Bucky's arms. He gazed down at his son then at Tracey.
"Thank you," he whispered in a voice that was more of a croak. "I never thought I would ever experience this."
"Neither did I," she replied, seeing how their son opened his eyes at their voices. "He's so beautiful, it makes my heart almost stop."
"Do you want to feed him?" he asked. "It's supposed to help with birthing the placenta."
Tracey laughed and cried at the same time, so proud of Bucky for reading all the literature and watching all the videos online in preparation for this. She held out her arms and with Janice undoing the top of her gown she held Sam to her breast, helping him latch on. It was something she had helped new mothers do as part of her job but now she was doing it for herself. When he began suckling properly, the tears streamed down her face as Bucky put his arm around her and kissed the side of her head. Janice and Rebecca both sat there with loving smiles on their faces. For a moment Bucky's eyes met Rebecca's and she nodded her head at her brother, proud that he had finally reached a point in his life where his blissful happiness was evident in his whole being. With just that glance between them she told him that. After infant Sam had his fill it was Rebecca's turn to hold her nephew and she felt the happiness in herself, feeling blessed that she had lived long enough to experience this moment.
"I'm your Aunt Rebecca but you can call me Nana," she said softly to Sam's sweet face, looking so intently at her. "I have so many stories about your daddy. You are going to be so loved."
Janice had her own moment with her grandson, bending her face down to his and deeply breathing in his newborn smell, committing it to memory. When she had her fill Tracey looked at her husband and smiled.
"Take your shirt off and hold Sam so he'll get used to your smell," she said. "I know you read about it."
"What if he doesn't like it?" asked Bucky, in a moment of self doubt.
"He will," said Rebecca. "You're his dad and this is what modern dad's do. They love their children with all their heart. Embrace it, Bucky. You've waited so long for this moment."
Peeling his shirt Bucky sat in the armchair while Janice brought Sam over to him and unwrapped him from the receiving blanket, placing it on top of his left arm, so the cold metal wouldn't surprise the baby. Then as Sam spread his arms and legs over his father's chest Bucky did what Janice did and bent his head close to his son's, taking in that unique smell all babies have.
"He's smiling," said Janice. "Talk to him, Bucky. He heard your voice from inside the body. Now he needs to hear it while he's on you."
As Bucky began talking softly to his son Janice pressed the record button on her phone and filmed the encounter.
"Hey little man," said Bucky, grinning as Sam moved his head searching for the voice. "I'm your dad and I've waited a long time for someone like you. We're going to get a play set in the yard and you can use the swings, and go down the slide. When you're ready I'll teach you how to jump from it without being afraid. You're different from other babies because you're going to be stronger, faster, and be able to do things other babies can't. But I'll always be there, with your mom, and your grandma, your nana, your Uncle Sam, and a whole bunch of other people who will help me protect you. We're going to love you so much you can't help but love everyone back. That's my promise to you, my little boy, my son."
An even bigger smile appeared on Sam's tiny face and the moment seemed to last forever.
One year later
"Nana, watch!"
Sam had climbed to the top of the play set, poised to jump down into his father's arms. Suddenly, he leaped and Bucky caught him, then raised the giggling toddler to the sky before putting him on the ground. Running towards Rebecca the boy slowed down before leaning on her lap, mindful that she was older and he was definitely too strong for her sometimes.
"You are so brave," she said, touching his cheek, then she looked at Tracey. "I bet your heart was in your mouth the first time he did that."
"It was," she agreed. "But Bruce Banner did some testing on his musculature and strength. He's as strong as a teenager. Told us that he's got the fearlessness of one as well. Might as well let it out in supervised conditions. Peter has helped him test his limits because he can catch him in his web if he goes too far. Which he loves."
Sam grinned. "I like Pete," he declared.
"How are you feeling?" Rebecca asked Tracey.
"Not bad, considering the morning sickness started sooner and lasts longer," she replied. "Found out the implant doesn't work against super soldier sperm."
Bucky grinned, having had this conversation with Dr. Singh, Bruce Banner and Tracey. "She's stronger with this one as well," he said. "I've already had to repair a couple of drawers in the kitchen. It's made things interesting in ..."
Tracey interrupted nodding towards Sam. "Little ears listening."
Suddenly Sam straightened up and turned his head. "Someone coming," he said, looking at Bucky who listened with him. Then his eyes brightened. "Lemar!"
He grabbed Bucky's hand and they went around the side of the house to the front. Rebecca looked at Tracey with a questioning look.
"After John Walker got his conditional pardon, he and Bucky began training for when he can join the Avengers, on a probationary contract," said Tracey. "Olivia would come over with Lemar. Sam learned very quickly once Lemar began walking that they could play rough together. I think it's been good for both kids. Olivia and I have been able to compare notes as well on handling a super soldier baby."
Both men came into the back yard with their sons, Olivia was right behind them. After the greetings Tracey and Olivia went inside to get drinks for everyone. John sat in the shade, looking at the yard.
"I like what you did back here," he said to Bucky. "Olivia told me about it."
"You're always welcome, John," said Bucky, as he watched Sam take Lemar's hand and lead him over to the swings. "The boys learn a lot together. Helps them regulate their strength."
"Now you're expecting another," he said. "You're a brave man."
"No braver than any other," replied Bucky.
John nodded, seeming nervous. Tracey and Olivia came out of the kitchen with lemonade, glasses, and two sippy cups for the boys. They poured some for everyone, as Bucky pulled more chairs over. For a few moments no one said anything then Olivia looked at John and nodded encouragingly at him.
"I have something to ask you," said John, looking at Bucky. "The parole board has agreed to hear my request for a loosening of my conditions. My therapist said she's pleased with my progress and will provide a favourable report to them. Since you were the one most affected by my actions I was wondering if you would agree to meet with the board on my behalf."
"Do you think you're ready?" asked Bucky, in a neutral tone.
"I'm terrified," admitted John. "When I was an active soldier, doing the things I received my medals for I knew I was skirting very close to not being a good man. That's when the guilt started but when you're in command and in charge of so many lives you can't voice that bit of dissent that is whispering in your ear. Lemar Hoskins was my anchor to keeping it together. He believed in me, believed I was still a good man, and when I lost him, I lost that belief. It makes me wonder if Mordo couldn't have turned me if a part of me didn't want it, to confirm that I wasn't a good man. Does that make any sense?"
"Yeah, it makes a lot of sense," said Bucky. "So, I'll ask you again. Are you ready to take this next step? Because this is the step that will allow you to begin working with us, the Avengers. You're going to go through another round of initial mistrust, and maybe some anger directed at you. You're going to have to prove yourself all over again with people who have their own issues and ways of dealing with them."
"I'm ready," said John, as Olivia smiled warmly at him. "Things always went well for me growing up and I wasn't prepared for setbacks. Well, this has been the biggest setback of my life. Over 18 months of looking deeply into myself, dealing with the defects and shortcomings of my character. I'm not that guy anymore. I want to be part of a team, no better or no worse than anyone else."
"Then I'll stand up with you," said Bucky, offering his hand to John, showing that he was giving his word. "If the parole board agrees then you'll become a probationary member of the Avengers."
There was a look of relief on Walker's face as he grasped Olivia's hand. Tracey looked at Bucky, nodding her support of his decision. As they all sat, watching the two toddlers playing on the play set, it all seemed so normal; just two families in a back yard, sitting in the shade of some tall mature trees, as the birdsong filled the air. For Bucky, it was ordinary moments like this that he craved, proving that he could still live the life of a private man, even with one of the most high profile jobs in the world.
One more chapter; an epilogue set in 2035.
