Interview
Despite what the heading may say, this isn't exactly "romance" but more like ANTI-romance.
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Marron cheerfully walks up. "I'm back!" She waves and gives a smile. "Ok. Chapter two of "Interview" is finally here! The much anticipated continuation-"
""Much anticipated" by like, what, maybe two people?"
Marron turns towards the insulter. "Mister Yajirobe I'm TRYING to sound professional!" she faces the quote unquote audience. "First, I will start off by thanking both Lemon-Kissed and Goten'sSon for the reviews." .. (THANK YOU!) .. "And on a side note, the author of this story is still amazed by the fact that you can give yourself a review." claps sarcastically "Good for you, Carolina. Good for you."
"What crap. This story only got three reviews and one was from its own author? That shouldn't even count."
"Mister Yajirobe, you're making this extremely difficult.."
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"Some one mentioned both the TrunksxPan and GotenxBra pairing...but those will not be addressed today. Sorry. Bra had a hair appointment she couldn't miss. You know how that goes."
"Pan...I think is grounded. Something happeden up on Mt. Paozu last week involving hairspray, a chicken, and a load of waxing paper so yeah, Goten said she got grounded 'til she's thirty." pause "And no, I didn't really ask.."
"TRUNKS.." saying his name with great distaste "went ON and ON about some buisness meeting he had scheduled for today that he just COULDN'T get out of. He acted as though the fate of the world depended on it! It was just THAT important! Many corporate sponsers..a huge deal..he couldn't reschedule.. He couldn't miss it for a mere interview; he couldn't miss it for the world! But he could miss it to go BOWLING?" .. "Half way through this oh-so-important meeting he snuck out! The man escapes out the friggin' window! HOW JUVENILE. If he didn't want an interview he could have just said so in the first place but no, he had to lie to me like he actually cared, like he actually wanted to but just couldn't, like he-" (goes on long, redundant rant) "-so! I couldn't interview Trunks today. Sorry."
"And Goten? He's off doing Goten things. I don't know."
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"Then came the question; who can I interview? Well, I was over at Capsule Corp. earlier and thought I'd interview Mr. Vegeta, right?" expression drops "Wrong. He locked himself up in his Gravity Chamber for some intense training. Jeez people! Why is everyone avoiding me like a plague?" she sighs "Then there was Ms. Bulma. I'd ask her but she's been up in her lab working diligently on a revolutionizing new invention, like always, to improve our lives for the betterment of mankind;so I won't disturb her. You've gotta respect a woman like that. Who knows what her brilliant, unrivaled mind is developing right now as we speak?"
-In Bula's lab
"Finally, it's complete! The perfect condom!" Bulma proudly held up her scientific breakthrough. "For his AND her plesure!"
-Back with Marron
"Yep. She sure is an inspiration."
Yajirobe coughed indifferently.
"I thought about calling up Mr. Tenshinhan and requestiong an interview in regard to all those accusations surrounding him and Mr. Chaozu, but I don't know their number. In fact, I don't even know what country they live in. They just, you know, randomly pop up every few yers when the world's in danger or whenever Ms. Bulma hosts a reunion. So the TenxChao pairing interview will be on hold for a while."
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"Then I rememebred about Ms. Lunch. She's crazy about Mr. Ten! And since they were never officially a couple, that can be considered a fan based pairing, right? But before I thought too hard about it I decided to write that off. I realized...I don't want to get shot." that was said with a nervous laugh. "So I'd better avoid the prospect of upsetting that woman by dissmissing her fantasy as "non canon" or "fan based" and, in truth, not ever going to happen." she pauses for a second and it dawns on her. "Hey! Maybe she's the reason Mr. Ten doesn't let anyone know where he and Chaozu live. He doesn't want Luch to find him."
...
"Anyway, one character was free for en interview today-well, appearantly Mister YAJIROBE was free, too." glares over at him.
"What?"
"But I don't think there are any pairings with him, fan based or not." She smiles excitedly as she clasps her hands together. "I've arranged an interview with an extremely vital character!" Please note the sarcasm in her voice. "One who's played a major role in DB, remained just as important throughout DBZ, and in DBGT..oh man..he stole the show!"
"Is it me?" Yajirobe asks.
"That's right, folks!" Marron continued on ignoring him. "Today I will be interviewing none other than... Upa!"
"...who?"
Marron turns towards Yajirobe. "You know...Upa? That little Indian boy, whom my dad thought was a girl, whom was held hostage by Colonel Yellow-that tiger guy-of the Red Ribbon Army because they were after the dragon..ball.. and... they." she stops when she notes his constant state of blankness. Marron's hands jump up to her hips in defense. "Whatever, It's called "sarcasm"." she lifts her chin proudly. "No, I am NOT interviewing Upa." her expression lets up as she eagerly smiles. "I will instead be interviewing Yamcha!"
Yajirobe asks again, "Who?"
Marron sighs..
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-12:00 pm rolled around. Time for Marron's interview with Yamcha.
They sat at a small table in a coffee shop drinking, ironically enough, orange juice and sweet tea.
Marron looked up from her orange juice. "Some fan writers write romantic fics about you and Bulma, but those don't bother you, right? I mean, she IS your exgirlfriend."
Yamcha kept his eyes on his cup. Despite his indifferent tone, you could detect a small trace of regret in his eys. "Yeah, that's cool. We really had some chemistry back in the day."
"Some write romance fic about Bulma leaving Vegeta and coming back to you."
Yamcha's gaze shot up towards the girl; a glimmer of hope in his eyes. "Really?" After a moment of reconsideration however, it faded. "Vegeta would kill me."
Marron laughed, "Yes he would!" She noticed how Yamcha didn't join in so she abruptly stopped, feeling a bit embarassed for herself and sorry for Yamcha. She coughed into her hand before continueing. "So overall, you being paired up with Bulma by fans, due to any plot device, doesn't bother you?" He shrugged. Marron brought her orange juice up to sip as she asked her next question. And that question was, "What about you and Tenshinhan?"
"What?"
His sudden response caused Marron to jump and almost spill her glass. "Yeah.." she set it back down. "I've come across a few fics that paired you two together and-"
"Ok. First of all," Yamcha leaned over the table "I'm not gay. And neither is Tenshinhan...I don't think. But just because I live with a cat. A cool ass talking FLYING cat, and he lives alone with his male best friend does not mean we're gay. Especially not with eachother." He sat back in his seat. "I mean..I don't even know what country the guy lives in! That fact alone should prevent any accusations of a "relationship"."
"Yeah." Marron agreed. Then nervously began her next sentence. "And there's also the fan pairing of you and..." Yamcha raised an eyebrow in suspense. "..my dad."
He blinked. "..." He jumped. "What the-your father? I mean, no offense, but.. YOUR FATHER?" ... "Jeeze, the guy-well.. don't get me wrong; he's a good friend and all.. I've known him forever.. but hes just, uh, God I don't know what to say to that!"
After a moment of removing all unpleasant thoughts and images from his head, and several sips of sweet tea later, Yamcha stated calm and collected, "No, Marron, I am not in love with your father."
Marron lowered her face in relief and approval. "I am very glad to hear that, Sir."
Yamcha leaned back casually in his seat. "Now, I could understand fans writing fics about me and your mother, maybe...but your FATHER?"
"Mp!" Marron's shoulders jumped. She didn't expect to hear that. Marron knew her mother was a very attractive woman, but she didn't know Yamcha was that bold. And even though he was a close friend to her father, he still had no right to say that. Marron's face went red. She wasn't sure whether she was blushing or just extremely pissed as she glared at the older man. "What?"
Yamcha was totally unfased. "I'm just saying that that would be more believable-"
"How would THAT be any more "believable"?"
"Well for starters she's gotta ni-I mean-she's a woman. I'm a man. Two qualities for a great romance right there.
Marron's face was still red as she tried to clear all the images of this man groping her mother that seemed to have found a home in her unwilling mind. She shook her thoughts clean and calmed down best she could before responding in a low, venomous voice. "My mother hates you, Mr. Yamcha. Let's leave it at that."
Yamcha pouted. "Awe, come on. She doesn't HATE m-"
"SHE HATES YOU." Marron nodded in assurance. And just like that, Yamcha's dreams were crushed for the...umpteenth time in his life.
They sat in silence for a moment. Marron nonchalantly sipped on her juice. Yamcha sat baffled, trying to think of any possible reasons that Juuhachi-Gou might hate him.
"Moveing along.." Marron's voice pulled Yamcha back into their interview. He looked over at the girl to be greeted by her evil grin. "Some fans even pair you up with Pu'ar."
"WHAT?" Yamcha's eyes could get no bigger and his jaw could drop no lower.
"Yeah.. But just as a crack pairing, though." she sighed in dissapointment. "Not to be seri-"
"Oh my God, they pair us up as a gay, cross species, crack head couple?"
(note: in the Japanese version Pu'ar is a boy, not a girl)
"Sir.. a crack PAIRING, as in funny and not at all serious. Like a joke."
Yamcha blushed at his misunderstanding. "Oh. I thought.. You meant.."
Marron was now bored and ready to leave, so she decided she had best cut to the chase and bring up the last fan based Yamcha pairing she could think of. The sooner she asked, the sooner he answered, the sooner she could get on over to the Kohl's one day only shoe sale at the Satan City Mall.
"Yes, well, moving on again.." Yamcha drank some tea now that all the previous tension had been lifted. "There was another fan based pairing; you and Maron."
Yamcha blinked at her from over the rim of his teacup. He slowly lowered the cup from his face and onto the table, slowly retracted his hand, slowly shrunk into his seat, and slowly asked, "They hook me up with you?"
Marron slightly blushed and looked down, cringing in annoyance. "No... Maron, my dad's exgirlfriend."
"Oh." Yamcha laughed. Then it clicked. "Oh! Really?" Now he was getting excited. He leaned over the table holding his hands together anxiously.
"How does tha-"
"So, what do they write?" he asked with a big grin.
Marron stopped and just stared at him. She did NOT want to sit there discussing the erotic fantasies of YamchaxMaron shippers. Time was slipping by. Less than twelve hours left before the sale ended. Cute shoes were on the line.
"Um, Mr. Yamcha, I'm not here to discuss the stories; just your opinion-"
"How can I have an opinion on what I don't know?" he pressed.
Marron's eyelids dropped. Thanks to Master Roshi she has had some contact with every perversion imaginable. And, thanks to said master, she had developed quite the stigma towards all perverts, inuendos, or sexual references; mild or not.
She held her head. "You can look these fics up on the internet 'til your heart's content when you get home. So why don't you please give your opinion already so we can-"
"Really? The internet, huh? Wow, fanfic porn..and I'M the star! I'm gonna have ta look into this!" his happy bubble popped once he took note of the look on Marron's face and so he immediately replaced his smile with a sober pout. "For, you know, reference."
Marron stood up, eyes narrow in a glare much like her mother's. "I think you're enjoying this a little too much." and with that she walked towards the exit.
Yamcha turned towards her leaving figure. "Hey! What about the pornagr-I mean interview?"
But Marron either didn't hear him or just flat out ignored the man. She was a girl.. on a mission.. to Kohl's.
Yamcha sulked, looking at Marron's forsaken orange juice. "Awe, dammit. Now I have to pay the check."
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-Disclaimer: (insert disclaimer from chapter one here)
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Goten: "Yo! It's me, Goten." (grinning madly) "I'm done doing my Goten things. And since Marron ran off to a shoe sale, I'm the only character left to wrap this baby up!"
Yajirobe: "Hey, I'm still here-"
Goten: "Yep! I'm the ONLY CHARACTER left."
Yajirobe: "This is bogus, man.."
Goten: "So, I'm thanking the two reviewers again." (waves) "Thank you, two reviewers! And on an almost random note; yes, you CAN review your own story!" xD
