Disclaimer: I do not own Camp Rock, Shane Gray, or Mitchie Torres (unfortunately) but I do own Kyle (also much to my dismay) and I now own Alan Gray as well

A/N: Thank you sooo much to everyone who reviewed last time! I know chapter 4 was pretty boring, but that's because I had to lead up to this one. It's intense and if you have a problem with language, angst, or steamy drunken makeout scenes…then do not proceed. This is the chapter that I've been waiting for and looking forward to writing, so I hope it's good. Don't forget to review and tell me what you think!!! Enjoy!

Chapter Five: This One's For You

(at the party) Mitchie's POV

It looked like a pretty good turn out. There were people everywhere and they all seemed to be having fun…all of them but me. Kyle was God knows where, and Shane was constantly making the rounds around the entire house so he didn't miss anybody. So I was left to mingle by myself, even though half of the people here were not on Shane's original guest list, and a lot of them haven't talked to either of us since grade school…I'm pretty sure I spotted a guy earlier that dumped chocolate milk on my head during lunch in second grade because he thought my dress looked funny. I also saw Alison Shaw who pushed Shane off the monkey bars in kindergarten…these people were not our friends.

I talked to some of them anyway…just to be nice and keep myself busy. I looked up and saw Shane coming through the room towards me.

"Hey! Sorry I haven't been around…I was just trying to talk to some people, you know, scope out who's here." Shane said when he finally reached me through the crowd.

"It's cool, I was just talking to some of our old…friends" I hesitated on the last word and then said friends in a way Shane would know I was being sarcastic. "Did you see that Alison Shaw and Brody McIntosh are here?" I exclaimed in mock excitement.

"Wow…how did they get here? They were definitely NOT invited!...oh well, they're here now." Shane seemed a little tipsy.

"Shane Alan Gray, have you been drinking!?"

"Umm…….maybe?..." he sounded hesitant and afraid to answer my question.

"Well, dude…hook me up with some! I'm feelin it, don't know why…but I am." I knew exactly why I wanted to drink a little. It was to take the edge off, help me relax and enjoy the party, forget about Kyle and his strange behavior…and most of all, I needed to drink to stop me from doing something else. This was Shane's night and I wasn't going to do anything to make him worry about me when he was supposed to be having fun.

"Haha, whatever you say Mitch" he just laughed, he thought it was funny…especially because he'd seen what had happened to me last time I had alcohol. (let's just say it was very entertaining…for Shane)

About an hour and seven beers later (I could hold my own with alcohol…to a point), I was fairly drunk. In my drunken state, I had found my way up the stairs to Shane's room and I was listening to a mix CD I had made him after I bought a bunch of new music last summer. The song that was playing really sank in as I was listening…

If it's fear
That you feel
The fear exists
On a larger scale
Spin the world
And stop it still
Anywhere you land
Anyone you kill
You are gonna find that

Everybody bleeds the same
After all
Everybody feels the same
Pain
And the preachers preach
And they write it all down
Like they know
But the secret is
Everybody bleeds the same

Shane walked in…stumbling slightly, and came to sit beside me on his bed. He just sat there and watched me listen and at times I would softly sing along.

I am you and you are me
We're the same mistake
Packaged differently
Who is your god
When you pray
If you break it down
To the DNA
You are gonna find that

Everybody bleeds the same
After all
Everybody feels the same
Pain
And the preachers preach
And they write it all down
Like they know
But the secret is
Everybody bleeds the same

While soldiers
Pull the covers
Over there dead
Roll over to your lover
Say put your arms around me
Surround me in the darkness
And I'll pray to every god
My soul to keep
Cause I'm never ever
Gonna get to sleep
Help me dream
I wanna dream forever

Everybody bleeds the same
After all
Everybody feels the same
Pain
And the preachers preach
And they write it all down
Like they know
But the secret is
Everybody bleeds the same

Once the song was over, Shane turned to me.

"You know, Mitchie…you have really pretty eyes." He was staring at me like he had never seen me before, almost.

"Thanks, Shane…" I felt awkward because I didn't know what to say back. Shane has really pretty eyes too…I feel like I could drown in them, get lost in them and stay like that forever…staring into Shane. Wait! I may be drunk, but I do not feel like that about him…but his lips look so perfect, like they're just waiting to kiss and be kissed…and his hair is amazing.

I reached out and ran my hand through his hair, slowly. He started to lean into me, and I grabbed his head and pulled his face to mine. I kissed him…I kissed Shane and it felt amazing. Our mouths moved in a perfect rhythm with each other, almost as if they were made to fit together…a perfect pair. His tongue begged for entrance and I allowed it. He deepened the kiss and slowly pushed me back so that I was lying on the bed and he was holding himself above me.

I pushed him back until he was sitting and I was sitting on his lap, never breaking the kiss the whole time. I was straddling him now and we were touching each other everywhere. His strong hands ran down my back and through my messy head of hair, mine took a similar path and ended up on his rock hard abs. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him close to me, reaching down and grabbing the bottom of his tshirt. He helped me take it off, I was disappointed when we had to separate for a second so he could pull it over his head, but it wasn't long before we were at it again.

I began to kiss down his neck, and back up to his jaw. Then, he returned the favor and began to massage my leg right above my knee. He slowly started moving up my knee and then pushed my skirt up.

I quickly stiffened and jerked it back down, recoiling away from him. It was kinda dark in the room so I hoped he hadn't seen anything, and that he had been too distracted to feel anything. He just sat there for a minute staring at me in shock…I couldn't tell whether it was from the abrupt change in mood or if he really had noticed something, the look on his face was one I couldn't decipher (this was a rare occurrence btw).

"Mitchie…" he spoke slowly, his words measured and distant. "Mitchie, what was that?" it looked like he was about to cry, and I hated seeing Shane cry.

"Shane, it was nothing…" I was a bad liar and we both knew it.

"Mitchie…don't lie to me. I saw what was there…"

I knew he was telling the truth…we both knew what was there, what he had seen. Both of us knew that there was no denying it, no going back…I had to tell him; the secret was finally out.

"Yes, Shane…you did see what you thought you saw, and it's not a pretty story but you deserve to know the truth." I was near tears as I spoke. "It started several months ago…when Kyle started getting worse. The day you came and fought him…and then took me home…"

"Yeah…I remember" I could tell he wanted – needed – for me to go on.

"Well, by then it was already an addiction; I needed a way to get rid of the pain…I had to bleed it out, you know, like the song." I could see the tears welling up in his eyes and it broke my heart, but I had to keep going or I would never get it out. "That night, when you left me, I went straight up to the bathroom and…well, you know the rest."

"Mitchie…baby, why?" he was pleading, not only with his words, but with his eyes. Those soulful brown eyes looked crushed and it pained me to look at them for too long; I turned away from him, but he grabbed my chin and turned my head back toward him. "Mitch, you have to tell me why you did this…"

"Do I?...or do you already know?" I wanted him to figure it out on his own.

"Kyle?! I knew it! I knew that guy was trouble from the moment I laid eyes on him.

"Yeah…but this, these, aren't the whole story…there's more." I hadn't told anyone about this yet, I had barely admitted it to myself. "I think I might…well I think…"

"Baby, what is it?" he sounded so worried, I loved his need to protect me…right now it wasn't annoying at all, I needed him to care about me, to hold me tight. I didn't even mind the pet name he had apparently already made a habit.

"I think I might be pregnant." There was no going back now…it was out there, Shane knew, though I knew he would tell no one. At this point the tears started, they started flowing and they didn't stop. Shane pulled me close and let me cry into his chest, he was protecting me, like he had so many times before…but this time it was different, our true feelings were out in the open and he knew my deepest, darkest secrets.

All of a sudden, the door burst open and Kyle came in fuming.

"Get the fuck away from my girlfriend, Gray! And stop crying you whiny bitch!"

I tried to stop what I was about to do, but I couldn't. It just came up like vomit, and I knew it was about time that it did.

"You know what?! I'm sick of you!! You used to be a nice guy, but now you're just…an ASS! You treat me like crap, and I've put up with it until now, but I'm DONE Kyle…I'm done taking all the shit you've put me through, I'm done with living in a constant state of fear around you wondering if you'll hit me or try to make me have sex with you…which I don'twant to do! You're a jerk, you're an asshole, and you treat those around you like absolute shit...you're a fucking dick. And by the way…I am NOT a fat bitch!" by the time I was done, tears were streaming down my face again, and I felt like my stomach was in my throat…I had to get out of there, I had to get home and do something about the anger and sadness that was coursing through me. I had to get to my bathroom and then I would be safe.

I ran out of the room and I knew Shane would try to follow me, but I couldn't look back, couldn't turn around, couldn't let him catch up to me or make me stop. He didn't know what I was going to do, he just knew I was running…and he wanted to protect me.

I got out the front door and hit the ground running, sprinting, down the sidewalk. I ran ten blocks back to my house. I was panting and had a cramp by the time I got there, but I didn't have a car because I had ridden with Kyle, so how else was I going to get away?

I went inside and straight up the stairs, not stopping for anything. I locked myself in the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet; I threw things out behind me until I found what I was frantically searching for. I sat down on the toilet and jerked up my skirt; I pressed the blade to my skin and pulled it across three inches. The cut was fairly deep, but the point here was to feel better, not to die.

I did this a couple more times and started to calm down, so I cleaned myself up and bandaged the cuts. I looked in the mirror…there was mascara staining my face in long, blotchy lines down my cheeks, and I looked like I had two black eyes. I washed my face off and then went out in my room to change and get in the bed.

I fell asleep to the sounds of Bleed It Out by Linkin Park…thanks a lot, Kyle…in case you were wondering, this all started because of you. I used to think I loved you, and you were sweet and kind…but now you're everything I said you were and more. You get under my skin and make me crazy. And in case you wanted to know…this one's for you.

With that last thought, I drifted off into a deep, dreamless sleep.

A/N: I have a question…I know what is going to happen in the next chapter for the most part, but I wanted to know how you guys feel about Smitchie. It will happen, but I can't completely decide whether it will happen sooner or later. I have another really big even planned for a couple chapters down the line and they won't be together before then, but would you want it to happen right after or wait until they recover from another big blow?

Tell me what you think!

Xoxo N2vampires