Mai:Welcome.

Jushiro:I wonder why.

Mai:Why what?

Jushiro:Nothing.*sighs*katizo terusei:

Katizo: URYU! your supposed to be hiding!! the police are after you!
Karahime: *cries* why'd you kill barney Uryu?
Charisei: *re-reading entire Q&A* Mai's Mexican?
Katizo: no...ya just figured that out?
Karahime: we'll give you 2 hints to what we are. 1: tropical climate 2: hula dancing
Charisei: *evil smile* i dare Gaara to sing 'hot mama' by Trace Adkins to Kat.
Katizo: WHAT!

Uryu:I hate to admit it, but my father helped me. He bribed to the police.

Ulquiorra:That was the crime?!

Mai:I am half Mexican and Salvadorian. Are you Hawaiian?

Gaara:*blushes*You're doin' all you can to get in them old jeans.
You want that body back, you had at seventeen.
Baby, don't get down; don't worry 'bout a thing.
'Cause the way you fill 'em out, hey, that's all right with me.
I don't want the girl you used to be.
An' if you ain't noticed, the kids are fast asleep,

An' you're one hot mama;
You turn me on, let's turn it up,
An' turn this room into a sauna.
One hot mama,
Oh, whaddya say, baby?
You wanna?

Well, I know sometimes you think that all you really are,
Is the woman with the kids an' the groceries in the car.
An' you worry about your hips an' you worry about your age.
Meanwhile I'm tryin' to catch the breath you take away.
Oh, an' believe me, you still do.
Baby, all I see, when I look at you,

Is one hot mama;
You turn me on, let's turn it up,
An' turn this room into a sauna.
One hot mama,
Oh, whaddya say, baby?
You wanna?

I can't imagine me lovin' someone else.
I'm a lucky man,
I think Daddy's got himself,

One hot mama;
You turn me on, let's turn it up,
An' turn this room into a sauna.
One hot mama,
Oh, whaddya say, babe?
Oh, now whaddya say, babe?
You wanna?

You're one hot mama,
Let's turn this room into a sauna, yeah.
Whaddya say, babe?
Whaddya say, babe?

Mai:*giggles*LilyGirl101:

*reads over the last couple of chapters* Hey, are me and Shiro-chan officially "broken up"? Shiro-chan and I used to be close, but he mentioned that "no one is interested in him", so I guess that means we're not together anymore...and he isn't paying any attention to me anymore... and every time someone mentions girlfriends or relationships of any kind, he states that he is single...Why, Shiro-chan?! IF YOU WANT TO BREAK UP WITH ME, TELL ME STRAIGHT UP! *starts crying* I feel so used! And so broken...I finally forgave you too! And this is how you treat me!! *runs away* DO I JUST NOT EXIST ANYMORE?!?!?!?!?

*ignoring Ulquiorra* Until I find out what REALLY happened with Char-chan, I'm not talking to you.

Oh, Koma-chan! *hugs him* Wow!! You're so cool! *hugs him, climbs on his shoulder* And so tall too! So soft...*starts petting him* Such a nice person...

I'll be Zaki-chan's new assistant! I'm extremely polite, I help in raising my brothers, so I have to be nurturing, you already know I can spell, and you just wait until someone makes me mad. You'll see then that I can kick ass!

I actually have dares today! And quite a lot of them! I'll remind you all why Mai-chan said she liked me in the second chapter! (anyone who doesn't remember my first dare to Shiro-chan, read back over it!)

To Uryu-chan, I want you to help me with something...my brother has this giant brown teddy bear I got him for his first birthday, and he ripped it while playing yesterday...can you fix it? I dare you to do it without adding any extra decoration, or frills, or outfits or anything!

To Carrottop-san, I dare you to dye your hair black and neon green stripes and catwalk around the Soul Society like a supermodel, and knock on everyone's door like a door-to-door salesman, promoting cat treats!

To Jow-chan, I dare you to jump out during a captain's meeting, scream "tsipar a s'urihsuJ", then run away and see if they can figure it out! If they don't, then just scream it out at random times throughout the day until someone finally gets it! (note: I'll tell you what it means next time)

To Bya-nii-chan, I want you to use your zanpakto on the first person who walks by you, but only use it to cut open their clothes, and then take pictures (this dare is void if the person walking by you is Mai). I also dare you to hang those nude pictures up in your office, where everyone can see them!

To Zaki-chan, I dare you to dress in a kitty maid's outfit for TWO days, and sing the "Mean Kitty" song every time someone laughs at you.

To Mai-chan, I dare you to sit in a roomful of snakes, bugs, rabid kittens and starving, half-crazed weasels in a swimsuit, with only a stick of beef jerky to defend yourself.

And, to EVERYONE...I want you all to sing "Somebody to Love" by Queen in front of THE ENTIRE SEIRETEI, and all of you (yes, ALL of you) will be wearing swimsuits meant for the OPPOSITE GENDER. That means Mai, you will be wearing shorts, and Shiro-chan, you'll be in a bikini. *gets out her video camera* Hop to it, ya'll!

To Shiro-chan, as revenge for breaking up with me without actually telling me and without any reason, I have thoughtfully contructed this chair made of nails, all pointing UP. You have to sit in it for the next two chapters. Also, I dare you to eat WHATEVER Hime-chan prepares for you, no complaints! You're not allowed to go the doctor at ALL, you got it? If you get food poisoning, so what! Suck it up! If you have an attack, well then tough luck buttercup! *kicks him in the nuts HARD, and walks away..comes back after second thoughts and kicks him in the stomach, pulls his hair, pokes him with a hot brand, and kicks him in the nuts one more time* Hell is a woman scorned, you jerk, so suffer! *stomps off, crying her heart out*

Signed with love and lonliness
Why-Did-Shiro-Chan-Abandon-Me
Lily-chan (still crying her heart out)

P.S.- My brother wants you to bring someone from Star Wars onto the show. (this would be the one who's visiting Zaki-chan, not the one with the teddy bear). He wants to know who would win: Bya-nii-chan's zanpakuto or a lightsaber.

Jushiro:Lily-chan... I thought you didn't want me anymore. You hadn't spoken to me in over five or more chapters and I thought its because you found another. I'm confused. You didn't even want to dance with me. We never broke if you think about. It's all a misunderstanding. Cough.

Mai:Uh oh blood. That's not a good sign. Shiro-kun don't get sick!

Ulquiorra:I did NOT rape her! Charisei, please tell her I didn't rape you!

Kenpachi:Lily-chan, my secretary.*has a far off look*

Mai:Office assistant.

Kenpachi:Same shit! You ruined my fantasy!

Jushiro:Lily-chan.....

Mai:That's why! Kenpachi, you might just go into the cage again!

Uryu:Fix something and not add my own little touch. Thats like my signature! Grr. Fine. *grabs teddy bear and sews it without anything special*

Mai:Here Ichi Ichi!*finds him and dyes hair*Haha.

Ichigo:I guess I might as well.*starts catwalking*

Grimmjow:*does his dare*Nobody figured it out. tsipar a s'urihsuJ!

Mai:I know! Jushiro's a rapist.

Jushiro:What?

Mai:I'm good at reading and hearing things backward.

Ulquiorra:With your family's previous intoxications, its no surprise.

Ichigo to Mai's mom:Hi aunt.....

Mai's mom:Ichigo, mihijo why is your hair like that and did you hurt your leg or something? You are walking funny.

Ichigo:Mai! Mai's fault!

Mai:Snitch.

Mai's mom:I don't want to know, Mai.

Mai:You seriously don't mami.

Byakuya:Ichigo walked past me to sit down. Does that count?

Mai:*nods head*Mhm.

Byakuya:Scatter, Senbonzakura.*takes pictures*

Mai's mom:.... Weirdos.

Mai:I love you!

Mai's mom:I know you do, but why him?

Mai:He's.... nice once you get to know him. You should leave now.*mom leaves*

Kenpachi:Close one.*puts on outfit*Nobody laugh.

Mai:Alright Lily-chan. I hope you can take guilt well... *goes to room*

All:*hear lots of squeaking, screeching, and hissing of dying animals*

J.J.:All those poor creatures....

Mai:I'm wearing a shirt though.*teleports to Seireitei*

All:*wearing opposite gender swimsuits*Can anybody find me somebody to love?
Each morning I get up I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet
Take a look in the mirror and cry
Lord what you're doing to me
I have spent all my years in believing you
But I just can't get no relief,
Lord!
Somebody,(somebody) somebody(somebody)
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
I work hard every day of my life
I work till I ache my bones
At the end I take home my hard earned pay all on my own -
I get down on my knees
And I start to pray
Till the tears run down from my eyes
Lord - somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me - somebody to love?
(He works hard)
Everyday - I try and I try and I try -
But everybody wants to put me down
They say I'm goin' crazy
They say I got a lot of water in my brain
Got no common sense
I got nobody left to believe
Yeah - yeah yeah yeah
Oh Lord
Somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
Got no feel, I got no rhythm
I just keep losing my beat
I'm ok, I'm alright
Ain't gonna face no defeat
I just gotta get out of this prison cell
Someday I'm gonna be free, Lord!
Find me somebody to love
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Mai:Boy shorts are comfy and baggy!

Byakuya:I can see why these things are so uncomfortable.

Mai:I'm trying not to laugh especially at Kenpachi.

Jushiro:*crying*Cough. Now I've done it! Why do I always screw up? I only wanted to make you happy. I stayed away because you like Kiba so much and I didn't want to hold you down....*gets in chair and is tortured by LilyGirl*

Orihime:I made squid pickle ice cream!

Jushiro:Ohh....*eats and is about to barf*

Mai:Poor Shiro-kun.

Uryu:*shivers*DarkDanteJ:

OK now what you've all been waiting for...Grimmjow since you're very lonely i want you to open the box xD *grimmjow opens the box and gets punched in the face by a big black boxing glove*LOL how did that get in here? *removes boxing glove to reveal a Big pie of any flavor and Supa Dupa huge Brownies they are Zangetsu-Size to Hihou Zabimaru-size enjoy and here is a Icepack for you Grimmjow and Orihime i dare you to slap Ulquiorra again xD

Grimmjow:Tight!*opens box and is punched*You son of a-

Mai:Shut your mouth!

Grimmjow:....*death glares*

Mai:Yummy treats hurray!

Orihime:I'd prefer not to, but okay.*grabs him by collar and slaps him left and right*

Mai:Orihime! Don't get crazy!

Orihime:Sorry.*laughs nervously*RainingSun:

Hi everyone!
Kenny-chan! I'll be your new office assistant! I can be polite/nurturing, can spell extraordinarily correctly ^^ and can kick everyone's ass if you tell me to. [Everyone except maybe you Kenny-chan, lol :3] Oh! Just in case this will affect your decision... *secretly hands bag of cookies*

So. URYU-CHAN! Do you like Orihime? O_O And no being a smart-ass and trying to get around the question, just answer it.
And Hime-chan, just where oh where did you learn to cook?

~*| Rain-chan |*~

Kenpachi:Another person. Hm, this is going to be tough.

Mai:Do you have references?

Kenpachi:I ain't looking for that in my employees.

Mai:Stupid. What about Retsu?

Kenpachi:She's a lying cheating hussy! I caught her with another man!

Mai:You sure it wasn't your reflection again?

Kenpachi:I called the police one time and no it wasn't my reflection.

Uryu:I guess I do like Orihime.

Orihime:*blushes*You do Uryu?

Uryu:*nods yes*

Ichigo:Sougyo no kotowari1012:

Uryu killed barney? Wow, i've seen it all.
I will still NEVER read Cat-in-the-hat books again,
Shuhei says Hey, he can't say it personally because he's discovered the wonderful world of *Cough* MY GUITAR.

Shuhei: Next time don't just leave it out there and expect me NOT to pla- *Plink*

ME: What...Was...that??

Shuhei: *Trys to cover the broken string on My 1976 Wine red les Paul Deluxe* NOTHING!! NOTHING AT ALL!

Me: Suchi-ru, Kumori Kyoukan

Shuhei won't be back for a while, anyways!

Ichigo! I have 2 questions for you,

1.) Who do you like more, Rukia or Orihime?

2.) When you supposedly "Died" in episode 162, Why didn't Zangetsu revert back to his unrealesed form?

Orihime, i have a very important question for you *glares*

1.) How come MOST of the time your in trouble, you take the punishment, instead of caling on your defensive shun-shun rikka sheilds?

KEN-CHAN!(can i call you that?) I'd love to become your assistant! I'm Polite, nuturing (When i want to be), i can spell superbly! and shuhei is currently knocked out, so i can kick ass!

Shuhei: *Pokes head up* Wha-

Me: *Throws frying pan* STAY UNCONSCIOUS!

Sorry, But i'd really like to become your assistant!!

Uryu:I didn't kill him. Someone framed me.

Mai:Shuhei. You did not just-*tries to kill him*

Ichigo:*holds her down*You can't even play!

Mai:Doesn't matter!

Ichigo:I've known Orihime for some time now, but I did go out with Rukia. I'm sorry to say this, but

Mai:*covers Orihime's ears while she was feeding Jushiro*

Ichigo:Rukia. Don't worry Byakuya, its as daed as Jushiro's sanity, love life, and taste buds.

Byakuya:Hm.

Ichigo:I don't know. I'm special that way.

Orihime:I don't have enough time to and it probably too weak to block them.

Kenpachi:You can call me Ken-chan. Do you look good in a skirt and can make Unohana super jealous!?

Mai:You are a jealous pervert.

Kenpachi:Animefan0410:

XD..Cat cna't drink milk, he's lactosintolerant..I'LL BE YOUR ASSISNTANT KENPACHI! I can also be very organized, and I think I can do a good job and kicking ass when needed to..*pulls out tazer gun, and puts it back* Don't ask how I got it.

I have a question for Orihime: Are you with Uryu now or no? If not, apparently you now have a chance at Ichigo since he's single! It would be off the re-bound, but you would have the man of your dreams that you love..oops..I didn't mean for Ichigo to hear that love part. He had to find out sometime *shrugs*

I have no questions or dares for Uryu or Strawberry-I mean Ichigo

Mai:I should have gave him milk before he died!

Kenpachi:And yet another person.

Mai:He's a guy Kenpachi.

Kenpachi:I don't need all girls. I need a guy to hang with there.

Orihime:Uryu is nice, but we aren't in that kind of relationship.

Ichigo:I don't feel like dating right now. It was obvious she was in love with me. I am not Strawberry, One who protects!

Kenpachi:Lily-chan's my secretary, Rain-chan's my office assistant, Souygo's my receptionist, and Animefan is my aide.

Mai:I thought you only needed one person.

Kenpachi:Its getting really busy.

Ichigo:How? How can you help people?

Mai:He's original to say the least.

Byakuya:Everyone is laughing at Ichigo's picture except for the girls. They keep staring.

Soi Fon:He is a handsome man.

Grimmjow:No. You aren't allowed to look at him.

Soi Fon:Don't worry. You are more than handsome.

Grimmjow:You are-

Mai:I'm bored with this. lunarprincess21:

renji don't mind byakuya, he just suprised, hatin and pissed that one of his fangirls yes mai FANGIRLS can like u...*mumbles*u and byakuya were after kaien...BUT ANYWAYS i hve 3 questions:
one, how did ichi-nii and chibiko broke up? and cool your jets byaku nii san i like calling rukia chibiko cause it's cute, two, shiro kun isn't this ur Q&A so why are all these other people taking over (ulquiorra and grimmjow) isn'tthis susposed to be your time to shine? and i almost died laughing when you threw a chair to keigo's head last time so i was wonderin if you would do it to someone else 2 and ...and i must congradulate all of u for being a little more sane after the rape closet but i kinda (emphasis on kinda)miss it and it's crazyness so i was wonderin if mai would make like another place where she would put these men in their place, anyways i talk 2 much, later.

Mai:What can I say?

Ichigo:We had our differences.

Mai:When two strong wills are together, they collide with two different stand points and end up ruining the relationship.

Ichigo:*sighs*Yeah, whatever.

Jushiro:I've learned to live with it.

Mai:We still have the torture closet.

Jushiro:Why'd you remind her!? Ashcat13:

Ok, I love this fic. So... first off... ICHIGO! GRIMMJOW! WE LOVE YOU! That would be me and all my friends. One of my friends' fav yaoi pairing is Ichigo and Grimmjow, how do you two feel about that?
Another question, this time for everyone (especially you Ukitake) what are your thoughts about the theory that Rangiku and Gin are Toshiro's mom and dad?
Evidence: - Same hair as Gin.
-Same eyes as Gin (sometimes)
-Both child prodigies
I'm just curious.

Mai:Awkward.... Ichi's my cousin so no comment!

Ichigo:Ewww! Why would people pair me up with a molesting, anger issues cat!

Grimmjow:Why I go with him?!

Orihime:Because its hot!

Mai:You are supposed to be innocent!

Orihime:This place changes people.

Jushiro:That's the first time I've heard of that theory.

Mai:I'm pretty sure he is Jushiro's son. I did sell that stuff for a reason.

Byakuya:They do have white hair and are talented Shinigami.

Jushiro:Maybe we are all related in some odd way.

Mai:They are both your sons!

Jushiro:I don't think so.

Mai:I do!

Jushiro:I don't. Maybe they are the children of my sisters'. That would explain the difference of our last names and our similarities.

Mai:Lets go with that.... I'm really bored!

Byakuya:We're leaving now.

Mai:Okay. You can handle now right?

Jushiro:This chair is painful.

Kenpachi:I'm hungry. I'll eat those treats that we got.

Grimmjow:*staring at Soi Fon*

Soi Fon:*looking down embarrassed*

Orihime:*humming and feeding Jushiro*

Uryu:*sewing a new cloak*

Ichigo:No! Now that I'm not with Rukia, you can't be with Mai! It's not equal.*tries to grab Mai away*

Byakuya:Kurosaki, you lay your filthy hands on her I'll cut them off.

Mai:Chill you guys.

Mai's mom:These people are crazy!

Mai:I thought you left!

Mai's mom:I don't have to leave. I payed to be here. All of you should go.

Mai:Lets go to Chuck E. Cheese's!

Jushiro:You got banned from there too.

Mai:I will get in!

Jushiro:I'm stuck in the chair though.

Grimmjow:We'll take the chair too.

Mai:Next time we'll be at the one and only Chuckie's, where a kid can be a kid! You can send your questions and dares to us. We are gonna have a fight between Byakuya and a person from Star Wars. Lets bring Xemnas too because his weapon reminds me of light sabers and it makes the same whoosh! sound. If we bring Xemnas, Saix will follow being the little teacher's pet he is and if he comes Axel will come.

xxbleedinglovexx:I think I'll come along.

Mai:Okay... Xemnas, Saix, and Axel from Kingdom Hearts and the author will be our guests.

xxbleedinglovexx:You can call me Addie. The only reason I'm coming is because I love Saix. It has nothing to do with Chuckie E. Cheese's!

Mai:Let your inner kid take over, Addie!

Addie:You should keep yours hidden. Jesus, you are older than me and you act like a three year old.

Mai:You're a meanie! Blbbb! *sticks tongue*

Addie:Sure. I would like to apologize to everyone for the chapter being so late. My computer decided to act like a jackass and not work. Thank you for your patience everyone.