Dundundun, back again, dear readers. I have written, and re-written this chapter, numerous times. I didn't know how to start it, or where to take it. AHH. So, here it is. Sorry for the wait ;]
Yamato
I stumble through the door, and I know he is waiting for me. Even so, I jump when he says my name. I look at him, but stay silent. I can't speak. I can't fall. I knew I had too much to drink. I wait.
"What the fuck do you think this is?" Nothing. I don't bother trying to reply. This is the question he asks me everyday.
"Think you can just do whatever you want? Cancel what plans I had for you?" I open my mouth. It shuts though. I'm going to puke. He stands. Rushes me. Body against the wall, brain shuts down. Hit, hit, hit, hit. It doesn't stop. Pulled to my feet and half shoved, half dragged to my room. Fabric against the floor. Pain, pain, pain. Push, push, push. There is yelling. I don't focus, and shut down even further. It is the smell that wakes me up. Sterile. Hospital. I jerk into a sitting position. I am pushed down, and I fight the hands.
My eyes open, and Baby's right in my face. I breathe out, and she turns her head to look at me. She blinks at me, once, twice. Automatically, I run my hand along her ear. I glance at the clock, and it tells me it's almost time for me to get up, anyway. I pull myself up and out of bed. I shower in water hot enough to turn my skip red. Today I feel like being me. So I brush my hair, and get dressed properly. I look good, even to myself. I make breakfast for everyone, and take Baby for her morning walk. By the time I'm done, I will almost be late for school. I don't rush there, and I make it into class just as the teacher calls my name. I take my spot next to Tai, and am aware of his eyes taking me in. I don't even glance at him.
"Now, turn to page 310." I flip my text book open to page 310. A worm sits on the page.
"A worm? Honestly?"
"GROSS." Even Tai looks kinda creeped out. A hand in front of me goes up.
"What?" Teacher is annoyed. I've lost track of names. Never even bothered to learn them, to be honest.
"Are we actually learning about worms?"
"Yes, we actually are." Tai makes a face at the page. I scan the page. Worms have 110 segments in their middle area. Ew. The teacher rambles, but I hear the word 'dissections.' My head snaps up.
"We'll be dissecting a worm, later today." My eyes widen. I don't like worms, but I mean, come on. I don't eat animals for a reason. For now, I say nothing though. I do my work, trying to figure out how to not do this, without getting in trouble. When the worm is set in front of Taichi and I, I push it away without thinking.
"Is there a problem, Yamato?"
"It's against my religion."
"I wasn't aware the Ishida family was religious."
"I'm not from the Ishida family, am I?" The teacher removes the worm, and continues. Tai looks at me.
"You're religious?"
"Not really. But there IS a reason I don't eat meat. And yes, in some places, they do, in fact, eat worms."
"GROSS." Taichi shouts. The entire class gives us dirty looks.
"Did you know that people EAT WORMS!" He says, in the same loud voice. The groans the class returns tell me they did not. Whoops.
"Did you know on average, you'll eat 8 spiders in a year?" I get squeals and puking sounds. Tai gives me a dirty look, and I smile innocently at him. The teacher returns our table. I don't like the smug look on his face. A thick book is dropped in front of us. Thick is not even the word. It's fucking gigantic.
"Since you won't dissect the worm, Yamato, here's yours and Taichi's assignment." Tai moans.
"It's a group effort, Mr. Yagami, just like dissection would be." Tai opens the book, and reads some of it out loud. The reproduction of worms? Honestly?
"Who in the fuck in their right mind would be this interested in a fucking worm?" I ask out loud, not really expecting an answer.
"I dunno, but I think I'm gonna hunt them down and attack them." Taichi flips through more pages. I smacks his hands away.
"Stop that." He glances at the clock.
"We still have an hour.."
"So get to work." I do most of the project. I write Taichi's name, and hand it in when the bell goes. My arm is cramped.
"So, now it's time fo-"
"I'm skipping."
"Bu-"
"Are you coming, or staying?" Tai looks down the hall, towards his locker. Then back at me. I give him that innocent 'please don't leave me look.' and he groans.
"How do you do that?" We sneak away from the school easily.
"Do what?"
"I hate you, you know." I look at Tai, who is following behind me, eyes down.
"No one hates me." It is cocky, but it is the truth. The truth, truth, truth. That is a bad word in my life. For the most part. Taichi seems deep in thought, so I continue to walk. We stop at an intersection to wait for the light to change. An ambulance screams by us, sirens on, lights flashing. Taichi watches, and I look away. Whoever they're going to, or have, could be dying. It could be me. It could be Takeru. The thought ruins my good mood, but I try and push it away. Tai and I walk across the street.
"So, where are we going?" Tai finally asks.
"I don't know. You got any ideas?"
"Uhm.."
"I need more clothes, we should go to the mall."
"There's lots of people at th-"
"Yea, yea. You worry too much." I lead the way. Tai seems distracted, and doesn't talk much.
"You know, if you were like this when we first met, I probably wouldn't have hated you." Taichi either doesn't hear me, or ignores me. The mall is bigger then the one I'm used to, and I get lost easily. The store's have bright signs, and I like them. I like that it makes me feel normal. I am not a drug addict, or alcoholic, I have not been beaten my whole life, I was never raped, or used for sex. I am just a normal teenage boy. It is a dream, yes. But one I desperately wish were true. The only thing in my life I've wanted more then dying. The first thing I do when we get inside the mall is by Tai ice cream. He cheers up immediately. He goes back to himself. Loud, and annoying. I almost want to break his nose again. Tai tells me I'd look good in everything we pass.
"Yea, well, you know what, Yagami?"
"What?"
"You'd look fucking amazing in that." I point at a wedding dress across from the store we're in. His mouth drops.
"What!"
"You heard me, mister. I'mgay." Taichi freezes. I look at him. My eyebrow shoots up. He is stumbling, and red, and at a lost.
"You...ho-..?"
"The kiss wasn't a dead give away. Fuck, you're an idiot." I roll my eyes and keep walking. I can feel him watching me. I don't stop, and eventually he catches up. He goes to grab my shoulder, but thinks better of it. I stop. Which is the effect he was trying to get by touching me."
"Don't..tell..anyone.." He mumbles.
"Why would I do that? I may be a complete asshole, but that's really none of my business." I have a strong feeling Takeru and Hikari do know about this, but I won't let him I know that, either. Taichi keeps his eyes down as we begin walking again.
"Are you ashamed? You shouldn't be." He looks up.
"Ar-"
"I'm nothing. I don't like boys, I don't like girls. Don't ask again. Ever." He blinks in shock at my acid tone. Intimacy is bad, bad, bad.
"Then why shouldn't I be.."
"Because it's who you are." I say with a shrug.
"Yea, bu-"
"Oh, come on Taichi! You can't be that fucking stupid. You have noticed there's something wrong with me, haven't you? You don't see me running around keeping it from anyone. No one's ever asked, is all." I'm not expecting his response, so it takes me by surprise.
"Well, what's wrong with you?" It takes a second for me to answer. The usual debate goes through me. Do I tell him, or do I lie? I just tried to make a point about lying, though, so the truth it is.
"My dad beat me from the day I turned two, and started raping me at four." I don't look at Taichi, I keep my back turned. I don't want to see his face. I don't want him to think I'm gross. I know I need the approval of this boy. And it kills me to know I might actually want him to stick around.
