Whoooaaa, a new chapter. Aren't you proud of me? Didn't have to wait 9 million years? I kept getting lost, not sure where to take this. I don't want it getting mixed up with Quarantine even though Matt's in the same place in both right now. Except, it's different here. You're really gonna learn about Matt's past in the next few chapters, be warned! Now, on with the reading! Give me reviews or I won't update anymore!
Yamato
I fly down the hallway, checking every door along the way. None of them open, and I start to give up. Then, I'm almost thrown backwards as a door opens under my sweaty palm. I use the door handle to swerve my body into the room, and almost slam the door. My brain works without me being aware, and my fingers catch the door, and let it shut silently. I scramble to find somewhere to hind. The only place is the bed. I drop to the floor, and squirm underneath. It presses down on me, and hurts my chest. The door opens, and I see footsteps. I watch until I can't see them. My breath is stuck. And then-
My foot connects with someone as I jerk into a sitting position, breathing heavy. I look at the person standing at the foot of my bed.
"You know, if you don't stop kicking me, I'm going to have to report you." He says with a smile. It's a simple tease, but today it doesn't earn the tiny return smile it normally would. His smile fades.
"It'll get better, Matt." He says. He hands me clothes.
"Time to get up though, you're going to miss breakfast." I watch as the orderly leaves. I climb out of bed, and change, then move in the same direction he did. I haven't remember his name yet. Something like Barry or Harry. As I move down the hallway towards the breakfast area, I pass a phone, and think about calling my little brother. I miss him, badly. I move past it without any action though, just like every other morning for the last month. All the tables are full, except my spot. I sit without food. Thinking about my brother has also made me think of Tai, and that made me lose my appetite. As much as I hate to admit it, I almost miss him more then my brother.
"Not gonna eat today, Matt?" A female voice asks from my right. I shrug absently, not paying attention. My thoughts are in a more important place, as far as I'm concerned. Thinking about the brunette gives me goosebumps, and sends a shiver down my spine. I rub my arms, trying to make the small bumps go away. A tap on my shoulder makes me jump, and all thoughts of Tai leave my head. I my eyes immediately go to the clock, and I get up.
"Sorry.." I mumble to Janet, who is my therapist. Who I am late to see almost everyday.
"No worries, Matt." She says in her soothing tone as she follows me towards her office. She lets me in, and I sit in my 'throne' as she calls it. She sits across from me. I fear these session, and although I haven't even begun to tell her my life, we have gone from once a week visits, to daily visits. I know they will move to more then one a day once I continue with the more...serious things.
"So, today, we're actually going to do something different." She tells me. I look up, slightly interested. She holds up a piece of paper from her desk. A drawing. One of my drawings. A blonde boy glancing up at the sun. I look at my baby brother the way I see him. She waits. I say nothing, because I don't know what she wants.
"Who is this? He's in a lot of your drawings, apparently."
"Takeru."
"Takeru?"
"My baby brother.."
"You have a brother? How does he make you feel?" I have to think about how to answer that question, because I don't know exactly what she means by it.
"I don't know..."
"Do you miss him? Love him?"
"Of course I do.."
"So, from what you've told me about your beatings, and the lack of love your fathers given you, you do know you can love?"
"Of course..It's just harder." Janet doesn't normally write things down, but today she does. I watch her hand. She smiles at me, and flips the paper up so I can read it.
-Is aware that love is possible for him, regardless of past.
I bite my lip.
"I don't remember ever telling you I never felt loved." I say. I don't want to offend her, but it's true.
"Oh?"
"I have a sister. And a mother." She writes again, only this time, she doesn't show me, but I can imagine what it says.
"A blood sister?"
"No, but.."
"Do you love her?"
"Yes."
"Where is she?"
"I don't know. Dead." Pen moves across the paper again. She looks through some papers and holds another drawing up. A brunette with a soccer ball at his feet.
"Tai. He's my friend." A quick scribble.
"Tell me about Tai."
"He's stupid, and loud, and annoying and I hate him." Janet's eyebrow shoots up, and almost disappear in her hair. Small note.
"Not really, but that's what I have to tell him because he makes me feel weird." I admit. Nothing gets written down this time.
"...Do you love him, Matt?" My eyes drop to my hands, and I get goosebumps again.
"...I don't know." I tell the truth.
"You know Matt, it's okay. Even if he is a boy." My hands come up to rub my temples.
"You're not supposed to love boys if you're a boy. You're supposed to love a girl so you can have kids or something stupid like that."
"There's nothing wrong with being homosexual, Matt. Or even bisexual. That's just who you are." I play with the sleeve of my sweater, not knowing what to say.
"Next picture.." I mutter. The next picture she holds up makes my mouth drop and my eyes water. My head snaps to the side.
"I don't want to talk about that one." Out of the corner of my eye I watch her double check the picture. A wolf running on the grass. My wolf. Janet puts the picture down and looks for a new one.
"What about this one?" I glance at the picture. My 'father' looking at me through a crack in the door. Naked. You can see the head of his hard penis sticking through the crack.
"Just an image that's been stuck in my head for as long as I can remember."
"Who is that?"
"My adoptive father." For the first time in a month, Janet seems speechless.
