CHAPTER 4

Rachel sighed wearily as she settled down on the sofa in her living room. The flight from California had been more stressful than she had expected. David had become agitated before they boarded the plane and it took most of the flight to get him clamed down. He finally fell into a restless slumber with his head resting on her shoulder.

Luckily, Rachel's brother, Caleb, was waiting for them at the airport. He helped get a groggy Starsky into his car and drove them to Rachel's home in Brooklyn. Once they arrived at the house, Caleb took Starsky into the downstairs bedroom and helped him get undressed and settled into bed.

"He looks terrible." Caleb muttered as he rejoined Rachel in the living room. "Are you sure he's going to be alright?"

"I don't know." Rachel admitted. "He came so close to dying…" She choked back a sob, her defenses momentarily down. "He's still so weak and he can't do much by himself."

"Maybe you should have let the doctor put him in the nursing home."

"I couldn't do that to him!" Rachel insisted with a hint of anger in her voice. "Hasn't he been through enough?"

"And how do you plan on taking care of him by yourself? Nicky's not going to be any help. You know that."

"Don't you start too, Caleb. I'm his mother. I'll find a way. Besides Stella, Abigail and some of the others said they would help."

"I just hope you know what you're doing." Caleb said with a solemn shake of his head. "But, then you always have been headstrong…just like that boy in there."

"Thank you for picking us up at the airport and helping to get David into bed. But, it's been a long day and I'm tired so I'd like for you to leave now." Rachel said. Although her voice was warm and courteous, her tone made it clear that she wanted to be alone.

"Very well." Caleb said "You know how to get hold of me if you need anything." With those parting words, he let himself out.

Rachel shoved herself to her feet and went into the kitchen to make a cup of tea. She knew that not everyone in the Starsky's extended family agreed with her decision to bring David home, seeing his care as an unnecessary burden. But it was a burden that Rachel gladly shouldered in order to have her oldest son finally back home with her. She knew that it would not be an easy task but Rachel was much stronger than most people realized.

Her eldest son might bear an uncanny resemblance to her late husband but he had inherited his independent nature and his stubbornness from Rachel. It was a trait that had allowed them both to weather the tragedies in their lives and keep on going.

Suddenly remembering her promise to Ken, she hurried the phone to call him in Bay City to let him know that they arrived in New York safely. The phone rang several times until Ken's answering machine picked up. Rachel left a brief message and hung up. After finishing her tea, she crept into the downstairs bedroom to check on her son.

Starsky appeared to be sleeping quietly, his face pinched with pain even in his sleep. Rachel gently brushed an unruly curl back from his forehead and bent to press a kiss against his moist brow. Starsky mumbled something in his sleep that sounded suspiciously like Ken's name.

Rachel left the bedroom with a heavy heart. She knew that separating him from Ken was devastating for both men. Over the years they had grown so dependent on one another that sometimes it seemed as if they didn't need anyone else in their inner circle. Sometimes, Rachel found herself wondering if they had become too close, too dependent on each other to be able to function independently. Although he had managed to hide it well, Rachel had seen the pain and betrayal in Hutch's eyes when Rachel told him that she was bringing David back to New York with her. But, as she had told Ken, Rachel was selfish. She wanted her son with her. She had come too close to losing him the same way that she had lost his father so many years ago. Rachel had never told anyone but she still had nightmares about that day.

She looked up from her seat on the sofa when the front door opened and her youngest son, Nicky, came into the house. His clothes and hair were both rumbled and he had the shadow of a beard on face. Although Nicky had the same dark curly hair and sapphire blue eyes as his older brother, Nicky was shorter and stockier than David.

"Ma." Nicky exclaimed with a crooked smile. "You're home."

"I told you three days ago that I'd be back today." Rachel reminded him. "Were you too busy hanging out with your friends to remember?"

"Aw, Ma…don't start." Nicky whined. He went into the kitchen and began rummaging through the refrigerator for something to eat. "Hey, didn't you go to the store?" he called back to his mother through the doorway. "There's nothing to eat."

"You should have thought about that." Rachel said pointedly. "I'll make a list later and you can go to the store tomorrow. Aren't you going to ask about your brother?"

"Oh, yeah…" Nicky said as he wandered back into the bedroom. "Did you really bring him back with you?"

"I told you that I was going to. He's sleeping right now so keep your voice down." Rachel scolded her youngest son.

"Yeah, sure." Nicky muttered as he started to walk away only to stop at the bottom of the stairs when his mother said,

"I expect you to help out more around here, Nicoli. I'm going to be busy taking care of David."

Nicky snorted without answering and stomped up the steps to his room. Rachel sighed heavily. She knew that Nicky had hoped she would change her mind about bringing David home with her. He was used to being the center of attention and resented David's presence in the house. Rachel refused to allow Nicky's attitude to bother her. David's welfare came first not Nicky.

A muffled cry from the downstairs bedroom demanded her attention. Rachel hurried to David's side, running her fingers through his curls as she spoke to him soothingly as she urged him to open his eyes.

His eyelids fluttered and then opened halfway. In a husky voice, he said, "Hutch? Where's Hutch?"

"Hutch isn't here, honey." Rachel reminded him. "You're in New York. Remember?"

David's eyes swept around the room before settling on his mother's worried face. "Ma," he whimpered. "It hurts…"

"I know. Let me get your medicine." Rachel said "I'll be right back." She left the room and hurried into the kitchen where she had lined up David's various medications. She carefully measured out the ones he was supposed to take in the evening. Filling a glass with water, she hurried back to his side.

Slipping one arm behind his thin shoulders, Rachel helped him sit up so he could swallow the pills she held in her hand. She knew that the medication would put him back to sleep for the rest of the night. It had been a stressful day for both of them and sleep was the best thing for her David right now.

After he had taken his medicine, Rachel gently laid David's head back against the pillow. He looked at her with those sapphire eyes that seemed to truly be the window to his soul.

"Don't go…" he whimpered as he fought back the tears that gathered in his eyes. Since awakening from the coma three days after he was shot, David had been terrified of being left alone. If Rachel wasn't with him then Ken was. They were the only ones who were able to calm him down when he became confused or agitated.

"I'm not going anywhere." Rachel promised as she feathered her fingers through his curls. "Close your eyes now and rest."

"Yes, Mama…" David whispered, bringing tears to Rachel's eyes when he called her by the childhood name that he had stopped calling her when he was ten. Within minutes, his breathing deepened as he fell back to sleep. Rachel remained where she was, stroking his curls, for almost an hour before she finally left the room. She slipped into her bedroom which was just down the hallway. She left the doors to both rooms open a crack so she would hear him if David needed her during the night. She was asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow.

Back in Bay City, Hutch had returned to his apartment. He listened to the message from Rachel letting him know that they had arrived safely in New York. He released a heavy sigh as he stripped off his clothes on the way to his sleeping alcove. He already felt lost without Starsky to lean on. He needed Starsky just as much as he needed the air that he breathed. He wanted to jump on a plane, fly to New York, and drag Starsky back to California but he knew that he couldn't do that. Even as he closed his eyes in sleep, he could feel his fragile connection with Starsky stretching across the miles that separated them, searching for the other half of his soul.