Chapter 19 - Sidious

Author's Note: Uh... warning for creepy possessiveness? xP

~ Amina Gila


Anakin Skywalker

Sidious's reaction is all I need to draw and ignite my own lightsaber, lunging at him. Aniya is right behind me, and our lightsabers clash with force. Sidious moves back, the Dark Side whirling around him in a violent storm. He fights far deadlier than I could have imagined. I guessed, after the fact, that he may have killed the other Jedi Masters who came with Master Windu, but... I still didn't anticipate this power, but what else could I expect? We knew he was dangerous. We can feel that he's capable of... a lot, but still.

I'm just thrown off, is all.

He's angry, but he's also enjoying this. I can feel it, and it angers me farther. He's deadly, but I know with a simple duel, we would win. I have no doubt about that. But this isn't only a simple duel, and he is far more skilled than us in every way, even if our power is greater than his.

We're moving across the landing platform, but not too far before Sidious flips away from both of us, unexpectedly unleashing a lightning attack on us. I raise my blade, blocking it, and Aniya does the same. The blinding bolts crackle across my plasma blade, all the way down to the hilt. Aniya is doing the same, radiating rage, her hair falling across her face.

Somehow, the force of the lightning is far stronger than his lightsaber. It's blinding enough that I have to turn away to shield my eyes from it, and the sudden light in the darkness of the planet hurts my eyes. I'm already exhausted, and I think he knows that. That's why he's doing it. He's trying to wear us out, or maybe...

My left hand is shaking, but my mechanical hand is tightly gripping the lightsaber.

He lets up the attack for a brief moment, and Aniya instantly lunges for him again. I join her as our blades clash.

I'm exhausted, but I throw everything I have left into the fight, cutting at him from every angle, aiming for the kill. We fight on the offensive as always. Sidious deflects our blades easily, fast and sharp. He's not nearly as exhausted as we are, but I'm beginning to think he's not that good with a lightsaber. Maybe. It's hard to tell when I'm trying to avoid being impaled.

Aniya throws him back, and I instantly move forwards to attack him again, before he recollect himself. He already has, though, spinning up his blade to block it. A Force-shove catches me, throwing us back.

I feel the Force suddenly tightening dangerously around my neck – which is bad. It's already hard to breathe in this air, and I gasp instinctively, lashing out as hard as I can. Aniya does in the same moment, hurling Sidious back.

I barely catch my breath, about to ignite my lightsaber again, but a blast of Force-lightning catches Aniya. Pain ripples sharply through our bond, and I stumble, for a moment too long. The Force-lightning hits me next, before I can block it, throwing me to the ground.

All I can do is writhe on the ground, blindly reaching for my lightsaber, as if it were able to stop this even while I'm lying here. It hurts so, so much. It's not that I'm not used to it, I just... pain never gets easier. I can only scream, furious at myself for being unable to do anything when I hear my sister's cries in the background, mingled with my own. It fuels my rage, but it's hard to focus on anything at all, except how it feels like I'm being torn apart, one molecule at a time, and that it reminds me of Tatooine. Of when nothing short of absolute submission was permitted.

I may have successfully pushed myself up if my limbs weren't spasming so much.

If I could do anything short of begging the Force to let it be over soon.

I can't even reach out towards anyone to keep me stable, as I once would have. Normally, even a day ago, I would have reached towards Obi-Wan. Except I still have the sense of mind to know better than that. I know I hurt him, and it's not fair for me to ask comfort from him. I want nothing more than to feel Obi-Wan's soothing presence, but I can't.

I don't know how long it is before Sidious finally stops. All I do know is that my vision is swimming, and my heart is racing far faster than should be possible. And I know we're on Mustafar, but my entire body feels hot and burning. My arm is burning where flesh meets metal, too. It's burning my skin there from the heat – it conducts electricity like nothing else.

It's hard enough to breathe already, and now it feels like I'm suffocating. I can acutely feel Aniya's pain through our bond, only magnifying my own.

"Lord Vader," Sidious says, his voice sounding distant. A soft groan escapes me when I try and fail to respond. "Lady Viola."

I roll onto my stomach, trying to force myself up. I can't move straight, and I can't breathe. I jolt to a stop when Sidious's lightsaber presses to my neck, singing my skin.

"Do not do this again," he warns, and I can feel his anger. "Do not use the Force on me again, or I will consider it a betrayal, and it will be dealt with as such. Do you understand?"

I glance up at him through the burning red blade, knowing every bit of the hatred in my heart is shown clearly on my face. "I understand." I don't know how it comes out so steadily. I also can only be grateful he no longer bears the face of the person we once considered our friend. He's disfigured now, enough that he looks little like who he once did.

"Good." The blade turns off with a soft hiss, and I nearly drop back to the ground again, stopping myself with my mechanical hand. The sharp movement and pressure only send another stab of pain jarring through my arm. And for the first time, I realize I have absolutely no idea what we're going to do now. "Rise," he commands, neutrally, and I'm thrown off by the sudden lack of rage.

Aniya and I drag ourselves to our feet, keeping our eyes on the ground.

I can feel how her rage is burning, and I want some time to just be alone with her, but I don't know when Sidious will grant us that. It's not until now that I finally take note of how some of the Coruscanti Guards – including Fox – are standing nearby. Our droids are... tipped over and smoking, too. They must have tried defending us.

"Come," Sidious orders, "We will return to Coruscant."

He starts heading back towards the shuttle, and I sprint over to the droids immediately. Artoo is by no means light, but I drag him upright fast enough while Aniya straightens Arthree. Artoo whistles, dome swiveling wildly back and forth. "Hey, hey, hey," I say, dropping my hands to his dome, crouching so we're semi at eye-level.

"Are you functional?" he beeps in concern. I can't help the warmth that spreads through me at his concern.

"Yes, I am. Take my fighter back to the fleet, okay?"

"What about you?" he asks, sadly.

"Everything is different now," I answer slowly. It's a hard thing to explain to a droid. "We work for the Emperor."

"But he damaged you."

"He's a Sith. It is what he does."

Artoo is certainly no happier than before, but reluctantly he agrees, and we don't wait for the droids to take off to board the shuttle. We definitely don't want to keep Sidious waiting.

**w**

Aniya Skywalker

I'm so unenthused with this I don't think I could ever say exactly how little I want to do it, so I won't even try.

Not like talking to Anakin, or, er... Vader would help either of us anyway. Sidious orders the clones to the back while we stay in the cockpit so he can speak with us alone, which I am most assuredly not comfortable about. He could do literally anything, and no one could stop him now. We're entirely on our own. (Obi-Wan left us. Padme left us, and I can't believe Jaufre would do something like that.)

"You must know I have no desire to hurt you," he says, as if I could be dumb enough to believe that. He's a sadist.

I don't know if he's expecting a response or not, so I stay quiet.

"For Sith, pain only brings strength," he continues, "Pain and fear lead to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to strength. You can feel it, can you not?"

When he puts it like that, maybe I do know what he means. But is he trying to say he wants us to hate him? "Yes, Master," Anakin and I chorus quietly.

I stiffen – and Anakin barely resists flinching – when Sidious suddenly reaches for him, touching his shoulder. The same way he always once did, but I never really wanted him to touch me, even if I couldn't say why. "I only hurt you so that you will learn. How much pain you endure is... of your own choice. You will come to understand."

An uncomfortable silence falls between us, and Sidious momentarily pulls back.

"I have wanted to tell you for a long time. My master seeks to control the Force," he continues, "He wanted to create a being of the Force itself. To create... life." I suddenly have the sinking feeling I know where this is going, and I don't want to think about it. Not now. Please. That can't be right. "He studied it. Practices it. He taught me everything he knew about the Dark Side. In his quest, he created a being through which he seeks to further his knowledge."

He's addressing Anakin now, and I flinch on my brother's behalf when Sidious touches him again, tracing his fingers across his cheek. I can feel that he's not trying to make us feel as violated as it does – he's just being possessive, and getting carried away with it, which is the only thing that stops me from ripping his head off with my bare hands.

"He created you, Vader," he continues, voice deceptively soft. "I was aware of what he was doing. I foresaw the dangers he did not. He underestimates your power. And to counter it..." Sidious paces over to me, and the sickening feeling I have grows stronger. "I made... you, Viola." I look away, heart hammering, when he lays his hand on my shoulder. Please, no. This can't be real, but I can sense the truth to it.

"You made us," Anakin breathes, face pale. I can already feel what he's thinking – about the prophecy and how it doesn't make any sense, because we were supposed to be the children of the Force and if we're not, doesn't that change everything we've ever believed? Does that mean we aren't the Chosen Ones? We're still part Force, though, because our DNA matches no other, but... I don't understand this at all.

"Plagueis seeks you to further his own knowledge. I only wanted... apprentices. You are precisely as I wanted you."

I want to scream. To cry. Just – something. Anything, because this can't be real. He can't – he can't be my father. Qui-Gon always took that role. He raised me. He cared for me. Nothing else ever mattered.

"Your Jedi friends only sought to control you," Sidious adds, "You must see through their lies."

"We do," Anakin argues, shaking his head.

"You have lived in them for years," he replies, "Your friend, Qui-Gon Jinn, only freed you because he saw you as a means to an end."

It hurts so much because I can see the truth in it. He's not wrong. I can see it – Qui-Gon only freed us because of who we were, not that he cared about us. "That was before he knew us," I argue, "We were just... people."

"So you tell yourself," he muses, "But you don't truly believe that, do you?"

I – I don't know. When I think about him now, all I can remember is how he left when we really needed him, but it's not as if we could've seen him during that time anyway.

I don't know anything anymore. I know, logically, that he's just trying to turn us on our family, but I can't disbelieve what he's saying when I can feel the truth to it. It's driving me crazy, and I don't know what to do anymore. I just want it all to end.

**w**

When we get back to Coruscant, it hits me all over again how we're coming back here alone. Our family is gone. The only ones we have left are each other. Only days ago, we were with our family, and we had the hope of actually having one, and now... there's nothing.

It feels like I was gutted, with how much this hurts. Padme and Jaufre left, and I don't know why. It doesn't help that I have a feeling that something may have happened to Padme, but I don't know what. She's alive, though, or we would have sensed it.

I don't know what happened to Ahsoka and Alema, either. They left probably with Maul, and... Where did they even go? Did they Fall too?

Qui-Gon is... I don't know what happened to him, but he must still be alive, or we'd have sensed that. I can't shake our meeting at the Temple from mind, as hard as I try. It's about the only thing I do remember from there. Everything else is little but a haze.

And Obi-Wan... somehow, all of that hurts worst. If I hadn't been so afraid of my vision happening, could we have tried talking a little longer? I doubt it would have worked anyway, because of how furious he was, but... Or maybe if I hadn't fought him like I did, the vision would have happened. I don't know, and in the end, speculating changes nothing.

It doesn't change how much I miss him and everyone already, how much I wish we could have done something – anything – differently. Or just... something. I don't even know anymore.

In a way, it feels like we lost Palpatine too, because Sidious isn't... our friend. He's our master.

I do my best not to look at the Temple on the skyline when we arrive back on planet. It's no longer smoking, but I know how badly damaged the building it. The entire atmosphere here still feels of death, and I know how empty it will be. Being on Coruscant at all right now feels like torture, and I definitely don't want to go anywhere near the Temple.

Guilt is crushing me too, and I need it to stop. But it won't, and... All it's doing is fueling the Dark Side, letting me drown in it. Even if pulling back from it were possible, I don't think I'd even have the strength to try. It hardly helps that Anakin is feeling the exact same way.

Since we don't have any immediate orders from Sidious, except to make sure there's no survivors lingering at the Temple – which I really don't want to go anywhere near for a long time – I go to talk to Appo on the 502nd cruiser about the status instead.

"Have any Jedi been spotted at the Temple?" I ask, keeping my tone clipped. I don't know how I feel about any of this, so I can only operate as I always do – under orders. It suddenly feels a lot like it did when I first became a Jedi. There were so many things that I questioned, but I had to do it... because. It was orders.

"No, ma'am," he replies immediately, but something about him seems a little... I don't know. Like maybe the mind-control I know he was under before isn't quite as activate anymore. He feels a little more like himself right now.

"How are the boys?"

"We lost many during the attack. We do not have the official numbers yet, but there were hundreds injured who are being treated now."

I listen to the numbers numbly. It's – so many of them are gone, too. It feels like I failed them. If Anakin and I had done more... But – it's not as if I can deny that I'm glad some of the Jedi escaped. Except that will mean more death of others, so I don't even know. "Are you alright?" I ask finally, eyeing him. I can tell that he's not, not as if he could be after losing so many of his brothers.

"Yes ma'am, I am," he says, unconvincingly. "What the Jedi did was... unexpected."

"I know." I still can't understand how they could do that. (Even if a part of me now wishes we'd just let him finish it.)

"Do you know why they did this?" he wonders.

"I don't. The Cha – Emperor says they were trying to cease control of the Republic. I did see Windu trying to assassinate him," I reply. He needs a reason for what he did, doesn't he? To understand why he had to turn on the Jedi and why so many of his brothers had to die?

Appo nods. "We listened to his speech of the new Empire."

"We serve the Empire now," I agree, numbly. What else can I tell him? I'll de-chip him as soon as I can, but I don't know when that'll be.

"The Empire is what the Republic was," Appo replies, and I think he means that. He's always been more loyal to the Republic than the Jedi – as well he should be – and now, he has to believe that to deal with how many of his brothers are lost, along with his own actions. "But without the war, what will be our... purpose?"

Right. I hadn't even considered that. The war is over. That's one good thing that came of the Empire, but I don't know if the peace will last. (Not if the Jedi are still out there.) "There will always be more... unrest to deal with," I point out, "And perhaps, you may get a chance to leave the military if you want."

"Good soldiers follow orders," he replies, almost in a monotone. It's sickening to see. I want to bring it up to Sidious, but – I don't think I'd be brave enough to talk to him about anything. It might only make things worse anyway, if that's not my place.

"You are a good soldier," I assure, "But... do you want to leave? You can answer honestly." Why am I even asking? It's not as if there's anything I can do for him.

"I don't know," Appo admits, "Serving the Republic has always been my... purpose. I don't know what I would do without it." Once I could say the same about the Jedi, but now, I'm still taking orders from my superiors. If I wasn't, I know I'd be hopelessly lost, too. But at least I know what a real family is like. Appo doesn't. "And the Empire will need an army."

"Yes," I agree, "It will."

"I will be proud to serve under it, just as under the Republic." I can only hope that's the whole truth, not just the chip talking.

I join Anakin after that when he goes to see Rex. None of their minds here feel... muddled. Their chips were never activated because they weren't with a Jedi. That's one good thing, at least. "Any word from Ahsoka or Alema?" Anakin queries quietly.

"No sir, I have not heard anything," Rex replies grimly.

"No sign of Maul or Savage either?" I inquire.

"No, ma'am." Rex is quiet for a few moments, and I can practically see the questions spinning in his mind, "Are you... alright, sir? I heard what happened to the Jedi."

"We're fine, Rex," Anakin promises. Not like Rex needs to worry about that. "The Jedi committed treason, and the Emperor ordered them destroyed."

"All of them?" he asks, almost incredulously.

"He said the risk was too great, with no way to know who was in on the plot," Anakin says, almost tonelessly.

"They were really trying to overthrow the Republic?"

"We saw Windu attempting to assassinate the Chancellor," I tell him. "I don't... understand how this could have happened either."

Rex shakes his head, sighing. "I don't understand why they would do that. But how could all of them have known? Wouldn't it be a decision made only by the Council?"

I wondered that, too, but I don't know. I share a glance with Anakin, but he seems just as uncertain how to reply.

"The Chancellor was right when he said if they were not all stopped, it would be civil war without end," Anakin tells him.

Rex still doesn't seem convinced. "But to kill all of them?" he repeats, "I... understand, but..." He also really doesn't. I completely relate.

"We had to choose to stand with the Republic or the Jedi," Anakin says, quietly.

"I don't like how it turned out either. But we fought for the Republic. That couldn't be for nothing. And the war is finally over." It all feels like useless consolation and an excuse, even if that much is true.

"But you were one of them, so I know that cannot be easy. Are you... alright, sir?" he asks again, worry shining his eyes. His concern is... touching.

"We will be. Don't worry about us, Rex," Anakin reassures, even if it falls flat.

"You support the Empire?" he asks uncertainty.

"It was the Republic, and it... will bring peace," Anakin promises, "The Empire will be effective where the Republic Senate was not."

"So... yes, we do support it," I concur, "I'm hoping it will be... better."

Rex nods, but I can tell he doesn't entirely agree. I still don't know if I do. I'm all for the Empire, and I know that sometimes people have to die for the greater good – the Jedi repeated this over and over again themselves – but still. I don't know what's right and wrong anymore. I don't know what we should or shouldn't be doing, but I do know that the Republic Senate didn't get anything done. I can only hope this will be better.

"What will happen now that the war is over?" Rex wonders.

"I talked to Appo about that, too," I reply, "We will continue working for the Empire, and there will always be... need for security. But you may get the chance to leave in time, I don't know."

"Leave?" he repeats uncertainly.

"Live as a normal civilian," I clarify, "Be given citizenship. I don't know, though."

He looks too mind-blown at the thought to even consider it. "What will you do, sir?"

"We will stay to assist the Empire," Anakin answers immediately.

"I would like to remain with you," he tells, "If you really support this."

"You don't?" Anakin queries.

"I... do not know, sir," Rex confesses, "We were taught to be loyal to the Republic, and an Empire seems more like what the Separatists were. But I know little of politics. I will... follow you, whatever you are doing." Of course, he will, because he's always been loyal like that. (I try not to think of the rest of our family, wishing they could be the same. To be fair, in some ways, we betrayed them too – Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, at least. I don't understand how Padme and Jaufre could have just left us.)

"The Chancellor promised to make things better," Anakin promises, and we leave it at that. I definitely understand his objections, but I can only try to be optimistic for now.

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