CHAPTER 6

The next few days were hectic as David was settled into a routine of doctor's appointments and physical therapy. The new doctor encouraged Rachel to allow David to walk as much as he felt up to doing. The change in his routine only seemed to agitate David more and put him in a foul mood. Rachel knew that part of it was because he was also experiencing more pain due to the increased activity. She tried to be patient but it was getting harder and harder to hold her tongue when David seemed determined to sulk like a child.

Nicky continued to sneak out in the mornings and not come home until all hours of the night if he came home at all. Rachel chose to ignore Nicky's behavior for the time being. She would deal with him later. David needed her now more than Nicky ever had. Rachel was not blind to Nicky's actions. She knew that he was running with the wrong crowd and probably involved in illegal activities. She had never told David but Nicky had already been arrested twice. Once for being drunk and disorderly and the second time for an assault. Both times, the judge had given him a strict lecture and then let him off easy simply because he was Michael Starsky's son. But eventually, Rachel knew that wouldn't be enough to keep Nicky out of jail if he kept going the way he had been going for years. He had become the neighborhood thug that she had sent David away to keep him from becoming.

Jacob had helped settle David in bed for the evening and left while Rachel was getting his nighttime meds and a glass of milk. After David had fallen asleep, Rachel went back into the living room. David's things had arrived from California that morning and the boxes sat on the sofa waiting to be unpacked. Rachel was getting ready to unpack the first box when the telephone rang. She grabbed the receiver before it could ring again and disturb David.

"Rachel?" Hutch's familiar voice said in her ear.

"Ken! It's so good to hear from you. How are you, dear?"

"Busy. How's Starsky?"

"He's doing as well as can be expected I suppose." Rachel said "It's too bad you didn't call earlier or you could have talked to him before he fell asleep."

"I'll try to remember that next time. I miss him."

"I know. He misses you too. He keeps asking me where you are."

"He's still forgetting things?" he asked the concern evident in his voice.

"Sometimes, but he's getting better. This new doctor doesn't seem to be too worried about it. He said he thinks that David's symptoms are related to the trauma of the shooting and not from a lack of oxygen during the cardiac arrest."

"So does he think that he can help him? Or does he think its permanent too like the doctors here did?"

"He said we won't know for awhile. It depends on how well David adjusts to the therapy and how soon he can wean him off of some of his medications especially the pain meds."

"At least that's more than the doctors here had to say."

"I'm worried about him." Rachel admitted "He's so depressed most of the time. If we don't start seeing some kind of improvement soon, I'm afraid that he's going to give up and stop trying."

"You can't let him do that. You have to be firm with him and push him sometimes."

"Yes, dear." Rachel said with a fond smile. "I know. That hasn't changed much since he was child."

"I'm sorry." Hutch said in an abashed voice. "Sometimes I forget that you know him just as well as I do."

"Why don't you come out for a few days? I think it would be good for him and for you too."

"I wish I could but the D.A.'s pushing for a speedy trial with Gunther and I have to be here as the arresting officer and primary investigator on the case."

"Maybe you can get away in a few weeks."

"Maybe."

"Ken, I'm sorry about separating the two of you the way I did. At the time it seemed like the right thing to do."

Hutch laughed and said, "Whenever I ask Starsky why he did something risky or stupid he always tells me that it seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Sometimes things don't always seem like such a good idea when you look back on them later." Rachel admitted.

"Are you regretting your decision to take him back to New York?" Hutch asked in an alarmed voice.

"No, it's not that but I do regret not talking it over with you first and seeing if we could work something else out."

"Hey, guilt trips are supposed to be my thing," Hutch told her somberly. "You did what you felt you had to do. I understand that."

"But that doesn't make it hurt any less, does it?" Rachel said softly.

"No." Hutch admitted ruefully. "Look, Rachel, I have to go. I'll try to call tomorrow."

"All right, dear. Good night and take of yourself. I hope to see you soon."

"Me too. Tell Starsky I said hi and that he'd better listen to his mother." Hutch said deliberately lightening his tone to put Rachel's mind at ease.

"I'll tell him. Goodbye, Ken." Rachel hung up before she started to cry. She could hear the pain and longing in his voice when he talked about David. She had no doubt that if it hadn't been for the case against the man who had tried to kill David, Ken would have been on the first plane he could catch to New York. She began to realize that she may have made a mistake by insisting on bringing David home with her. His place was in California with Ken. That was his home now and had been for over twenty years. This was just where he had lived for the first thirteen years of his life. Lost in her own thoughts, Rachel began to unpack the boxes that had arrived that morning.

She was startled when the front door flew open and an obviously drunk Nicky stumbled into the house.

"What's all this crap?" He slurred, eyeing the boxes Rachel was unpacking suspiciously.

"It's your brother's things that I had sent here from California."

"Why? It's not like he's in any condition to get any use out of them." Nicky sneered but then his eyes lit up when he noticed Starsky's stereo system. "But, I know where I could get a couple of hundred bucks out of that stereo. That's sweet system."

"Nicholas Marvin Starsky!" Rachel said sharply, her eyes flashing with anger as she glared at her youngest son. "You will not touch any of your brother's things!"

"Whatever…" Nicky mumbled with a dismissive wave of his hand as he staggered to the steps and made his way upstairs.

Rachel sighed heavily as she returned to the task at hand. She knew that Nicky's attitude and behavior was his way of punishing her for bringing his older brother home to recuperate. She didn't know how to make Nicky see that she loved both of her sons equally but that David needed her now more than he did.

When she came to the box of pictures that Hutch had packed, she found herself examining each candid shot of her son and his partner. There were shots of them when they graduated from the academy, pictures of them in their uniforms, photos of them with some of their girlfriends, and numerous photographs of them together. As she carefully looked at each picture, she could see the love in their eyes. She felt a lump rising up in her throat.

"Oh, my god…what have I done?" she whispered as she carefully put the pictures back into the box and closed the lid. She knew that she had made a mistake by separating them. Now she had to figure out a way to make things right for all of them. David needed Ken and Ken needed David. It was as simple and as complicated as that.