Chapter 19
The gunshots stopped. Inside, Belle's heart pounded rapidly. She couldn't decide what was more terrifying: the silence, or not knowing who won. She continued to play with Billy, her heart only half in it. She was waiting, listening for some indication of who had won the small battle in the middle of Four Corners.
A few minutes after the silence started, she heard footsteps in the hallway. Her body tensed, not knowing what to expect. Slowly, she stood, putting a finger to her lips as Billy looked up at her. She grabbed the pistol off the bedside table where she had placed it moments ago, out of the way. She watched to door, listening as the footsteps stopped right outside the door. There was a loud rapping on the door, and Belle tried desperately to hide the horrible fear inside of her, at least for Billy's sake.
"Belle?" a soft familiar voice was muffled behind the door. "Are you and Billy okay?"
Belle's heart soared. She dropped the gun and scrambled to the door, shoving the bureau out of the way as quickly as she could. It seemed heavier than it had when she moved it as a barricade; it took several minutes of pushing and shoving to move the thing. Finally, with bureau back in place and sweat starting to form on her forehead, Belle opened the door. Vin looked back at her.
"Oh, thank God," she mumbled, throwing her arms around him. Tears silently slipped down her cheeks. "I was so scared," she whispered into his long, dark hair.
Vin's arms tightened around her. "It's alright now. They're all dead, save for Kenneth who was trying to figure out which room you were in." Vin had never felt so vulnerable before. When the fight started, all he could see was Connelly grabbing her and taking her away from him again. He wouldn't give up; he'd have gone after them, but it was unnerving how much he cared for a girl he'd only known for a few weeks. He wanted to support her while she was upset, but something in his gut made him take a step back.
Belle looked up at him, concern on her features, but tears all gone. "Did anyone on our side get shot?"
Vin shook his head. "We lucked out. Of course, all of us were behind sturdy barricades and they were out in the open, just trying to get the job done." He shifted uncomfortably, not knowing what else to do. His relationship with Belle suddenly wasn't sitting right with him. It seemed as though they'd jumped right into a courtship without really knowing each other. Now, he was discovering how strong she was, and independent, determined. She could take care of herself and get herself out of scrapes, which wounded Vin's pride. He wanted to protect her, not have her protect herself.
Belle seemed to notice the distance in him and glanced over at Billy. "You want to go see Mama and Mr. Larrabee?"
Billy nodded and jumped up, rushing out the bedroom door. Moments later, she heard the front door slam and knew the boy was on his way, probably hoping to see a body or two before getting to the clinic where he knew he'd find his mother and the man she loved. Belle turned back to Vin and crossed her arms across her chest, rubbing her upper arms for comfort. "What is it?"
Vin's eyebrow shot up. How did she sense the change in him? Like a predator smelling fear in its prey, Belle smelled the distance in his actions. Instead of offering a response, however, Vin just shrugged.
Belle sighed at him. "Vin, we may not be as close as some couples, but I can tell when something is bothering you." She took a step toward him and placed a hand on his cheek. "Please tell me." Her eyes pleaded with him to open up; they shined with adoration and complete trust. It broke his heart.
"I just," he started, unsure how to put his feelings into words, heart racing a mile a minute. "Well, it's like you said, we're not close. I feel like I barely know you." He paced into the room and sank onto Billy's bed gingerly. "When Connelly took you, I worried nonstop, making plans to come to your rescue and you beat me to the punch." He looked around the room, taking in Billy's window. "Even when we planned the ambush and attack for when they came back to get you, you one-upped me, picking a room that could be barricaded easily and not be approachable from the outside." He sighed, removing his hat and running a hand through his hair. "I feel unneeded."
Belle walked slowly to him and sat next to him on top of the quilt covering the bed. She gently placed her hand on his, squeezing softly. "I only thought clearly in both situations because I knew you were close. I knew you wouldn't let anything happened to me. I escaped Terrence the first time because I saw an opportunity and I took it. You can't begrudge me that." She smiled sweetly at him. "And as for this," she gestured around the room. "I chose this room because I knew if something happened –and that's a big if- Terrence would be least likely to get me if I was in here." She shrugged and softly added, "I did what I thought you would do."
"Do you not trust me to protect you?" Vin wasn't angry and he knew he was being irrational, but something about her last comment upset him deeply. "Do you really think I'd let him get that close?"
Belle's temper flared. "I trust you with everything, my whole heart and soul. I just thought a back-up plan never hurt anybody. You obviously thought the same thing, or you wouldn't have left Ezra to stand guard."
The mention of his former rival in her affections cut him to the quick. His voice rose. "I couldn't have been in here with you! I would have been distracted. And then we both would have gotten shot!"
Belle glared at him, removing her hand. "Ezra cares about me, too, Vin. He was just as distracted as you would have been." Belle wrinkled her nose, wondering how this conversation got started. "But that's not even why I mentioned him. My point was that you left him as a second line of defense if something happened to the rest of you. I was just doing what I thought best to do, especially considering there was a little boy who needed me to keep him safe."
Her words stung him. She had done what she had, not because she didn't trust him to protect her, but because of Billy. He'd forgotten that Billy had been left in her charge, had barely noticed him when he was in the room. He rubbed his forehead slowly, trying to ease some of the tension building up. "I guess I didn't think of it that way," he finally muttered, not looking at her.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, Vin wondering how he let his male ego take over his rational thinking, Belle curious if they were strong enough individually to deal with each other. When both of their tempers calmed down, Belle was the first to speak.
"I love you, Vin. I have from the first moment I read about you in Mary's letters. And it only intensified when I met you in the saloon not so long ago." She sighed, not looking at him as she continued. "But maybe, just maybe," she turned to him and grasped his hand once more, "that's not enough. Maybe I should take some time. Grow up a little. My temper gets the better of me sometimes and I need to learn how to be a real woman, not an impetuous teenager." She smiled at him, causing his heart to ache in longing. "Maybe after some time, we could try again?" She looked hopefully at him.
Vin returned her smile. "I really care about you, too, Belle." His free hand went to her cheek, brushing the hair out of her eyes. He still couldn't say the words; it would hurt too much to say them and then walk away from her. "I'd really like to try this again, once we get to know each other better."
Belle felt like she'd been stabbed in the heart, but knew it was for the best. They did barely know each other; he knew little of her stubbornness and pride, and she could only guess what she didn't know about him. When he looked at her that way, touched her that way, it made it so much more difficult to really let go. But there was always hope. Her smile never faltering, betraying the heartbreak she was feeling, she nodded her consent.
Just then, J.D. came rushing in. Vin abruptly stood up, breaking their contact. Belle died a little more inside, but kept up the charade; it would just be harder on both of them if she cried.
"Did Kenneth get away?" Vin sounded ready to commit murder.
"Nah, he's in the cell in the office." J.D. handed something to Vin. "This just came for you, though. Said urgent so I brought it right over. Miss Belle." He tipped his hat at the blonde and left.
