Toby hits rock bottom.
Chapter 8: Dreams, Sweet Dreams
Toby felt like he was spinning. Weirdly, he also felt a breeze through his hair like he was moving at a top speed. His legs could barely stand on their own, but some way, somehow, he was walking. At one point he felt like he was climbing. This feels like a lot of activity for a drunk man. His feet felt lighter once he was laying down. Something soft and cold touched his forehead before he blacked out completely.
A fizziness took over his vision. A hot puddle of drool pooled around the corner of his mouth. He sucked some air in, and his throat burned. Was he stuck in another burning building? A large blanket was wrapped around him. Toby opened his eyes to see his room looking dark and blurry. As he moved his eyes around, he spotted his clock that read 3 a.m. The sound of something rustling around in his loft startled him. He lives alone. He shouldn't be hearing someone else in his loft. He turned over onto his back then sat up in his bed. He rubbed his eyes hoping to get a clear view, but he remained buzzed. His mind must be playing tricks on him. Maybe he left the window open in the bathroom and the wind blew in. Toby was about to lay back down when he heard footsteps. Okay, the wind does not produce footsteps in the bathroom. Someone was in his loft.
Toby waited a few more seconds before the footsteps moved from the bathroom to his bedroom. A person dressed in a black hoodie appeared. His heart stopped. His brain pounded against his skull. He reached for his phone, but realized, who could he call? He couldn't call the cops. He couldn't call Emily because it was very late, and they weren't supposed to talk over the phone.
"Don't," he thought he heard a whisper.
"Who are you?" He asked.
The person wouldn't respond. They kept their hood up and eyes to the floor. Toby jumped out of his bed, but due to his dizziness mixed with a head rush, he felt himself fall forward. The figure was quick to catch him before he hit the floor. When their arms wrapped around him, he felt…safe and warm. He felt warm breath on his cheek as the figure carefully helped him back to bed. The person realized how drunk Toby was and that he most likely won't remember anything from tonight. They took a chance and lowered their hood. The mystery person is in fact a woman. A woman with deep brown eyes and chestnut hair.
"Spencer?" Toby mumbled.
"I didn't mean to scare you, I just needed to borrow a couple things from your bathroom," she said. "There was nowhere else I could get them."
Toby looked down and noticed a white bandage wrapped around her right wrist. The bandage was pretty large. It was the type of bandage one would want to use to cover up an old burn. Toby knows that a burn from a month ago caused by a fire would still be on its way to healing. Depending on the burn, if treated properly her skin would still be scared, but untreated, she might still be in pain and in desperate need of medical attention. Toby knows that this is his mind playing tricks on him, because Mona was the one that saved him. He had to force himself not to trust his eyes.
"Are you really here right now?" Toby asked.
Toby reached out to touch her, but fear of his mind playing tricks on him, he held back. It's better to assume he's in a dream where he can see her but not feel her than reaching out to touch her only for his hand to go right through her. But the torture of not being able to hold her weighed heavily on his heart. He ached. Badly.
"You won't remember this," she said. Her brown eyes filled with tears. "I miss you."
"This is all in my head, isn't it?" He said.
She could not confirm nor deny his question. Toby was convinced this was a dream. If it were real, he'd be able to touch her. Tears flooded his eyes.
"I just want to kiss you one last time," he said.
She choked on a sob and said, "I do too. But it wouldn't be a good idea."
He nearly smiled, but his heart sank deeper as he said, "that's never stopped us before."
He felt his mattress dip as she sat near him on the edge of his bed. He leaned forward and closed his eyes.
At 7 a.m. Toby's alarm pierced his ears. His head pounded. Toby buried his face into his pillow to block out the noise. He blindly reached out to shut his alarm off. He was wrapped like a burrito under his covers. He had made it home last night. He's not sure how, but he made it. He touched his fingertips to his lips where Spencer's would have touched. Toby wished more than anything he could fall back to sleep. To get back to his dream. His wonderful, sweet dream.
It took him several minutes to really wake up. The poison he drank last night made him nauseous. When he pushed himself to sit up in bed, he felt as if someone slammed his head against a wall. Several times. A glass of water with two aspirins and a note sat on his bedside table.
Toby,
You might hate us, but we're still your friends. To prove that Aria and I got you home safely. Your truck is still back at the Pub we were last night. Here's some aspirin. Drink up.
-Hanna
Toby was left with a bitter taste in his mouth after reading that. He took the aspirin and drank the water anyway. Last night came back to him like a giant wave drowning him. Seeing Hanna and hearing her happy news that she and Caleb were getting married set him off big time. It wasn't fair that Caleb gets to have a happy future with the person he loves while the person Toby loves is gone. The many drinks from last night mixed with his hurt lead to him dreaming about Spencer. It was a vivid dream, but he remembers seeing her in his room. He got to talk to her. They only shared a few words, but it was enough to make him want to see her again. If getting black out drunk is what it takes to see Spencer, then so be it.
-Line Break—
After work, Emily decided to visit Toby after all of her calls to him went straight to voicemail. It's only been five days since they last spoke, but it doesn't take long for Toby to go completely dark. Emily went to his loft and knocked on the door. He didn't answer. She knocked again. Still no answer. She doesn't have a key. She tried knocking for a third time, and still, no answer. Emily turned the knob and to her surprise, the front door was unlocked. As soon as Emily stepped inside, the overwhelming smell of alcohol and old greasy food hit her nose.
"Oh, my god," she gagged.
Emily stepped into the living room kicking through the piles of trash and beer bottles on the floor. A half empty pizza box sat on his couch, and several take out containers covered his coffee table.
"Toby!" She called out.
She continued to walk through his loft down the hall to his bedroom. His bedroom wasn't as bad as the living room, but there were a few empty bottles of whiskey and scotch beside his bed. Toby was never known for being much of a drinker. His truck was parked outside, so Emily knew that he was here somewhere.
"Maybe I should've brought some coffee," Emily said to herself. She kicked a half empty bottle of whiskey over as she stepped towards the bathroom. "And some aspirin."
A loud gagging sound coming from Toby's bathroom alerted her. She pushed the bathroom door open to find Toby curled up over the toilet. It was clear that he had just gotten rid of whatever it was he drank last night. His body violently shook as he heaved loudly. He collapsed to the floor all shaky and sweaty.
"Oh my god," Emily rushed to his side.
"Spencer," he mumbled. His eyes were closed as he leaned his head against the bathtub. "Spencer is that you?"
"It's Emily. My god, Toby, how much have you been drinking?"
"I just…" He could barely speak over all the trembles rocking his body. "I just wanted to see her."
"We should get you to a hospital." She reached to help him stand. "You could have alcohol poisoning."
"No!" He snapped. "If I go, they'll just send me back to Radley."
"Maybe that is where you should be." Emily didn't mean to sound so harsh. It was clear he was heading towards another deep end. All Emily could think about was how upset Spencer would be if she saw him like this.
"I'll be fine," he wheezed. "I won't drink anymore. It's not working anyway."
"What's not working?" She asked.
Toby sat back against his bathtub. "Spencer," he mumbled like a child. "I had a dream about her last week after drinking too much. I thought drinking would make me see her."
"I guess I understand why you would think like that," said Emily. "But you can't drink like that anymore. It won't make things better."
For once, Emily was right. If Toby wants to succeed with his plan to end the academy once and for all, he can't waste his time drinking and feeling sorry for himself. He is going to have to take action. Get back on track. He'll have to take an even darker turn to do it.
I don't have much to add here. Just follow, like, and comment for more. See you soon with a new chapter.
