Blanc didn't think her situation could get much worse.
Having to sneak around Leanbox in the dead of night with no clothes was an awfully terrible way to end an alleged charity marathon so they could meet their likely soon-to-be-dead friend, courtesy of her own hammer coming into contact with the woman's skull. Repeatedly.
Really, there were very few ways this night could turn out any worse for them than it already was, unless she found out Rom and Ram somehow got involved too.
With that said…
"Where the heck did all these soldiers come from?!"
"Keep your voice down, idiot!"
Blanc held a hand over Neptune's mouth in a panicked manner, just as a squad of soldiers from the Special Missions Department patrolled past them. They didn't hear the purplette's exclamation, nor did they notice the three naked Goddesses hiding behind the building just in front of them as they marched past.
That was a recurring theme for the group, because it seemed like that out of fucking nowhere every single soldier and guard were stationed and going down every single street that were previously empty.
Naturally, this was a little bit of an issue. Most, if not all, of the roads leading to the Basilicom were completely blocked off, and the amount of close calls they experienced had increased tenfold.
It didn't help that among the various soldiers and guards were people that Blanc, along with Noire and Neptune, recognized. Lowee's Goddess was certain she saw Gust riding down on a mobile atelier no less than ten minutes ago, and the sight of MarvelousAQL jumping across rooftops not long after that.
Just what the hell was everyone doing out here?
"Whatever they're here for, I'm not interested in finding out…" Noire said quietly, voicing Blanc's thoughts without knowing, as she peeked out of her hiding spot. "We just have to sneak past them."
"And how the heck do you expect us to do that?" Neptune asked. "They aren't like trashy NPCs from old games who can't see outside their limited point of view. They have functional brains."
Noire sighed. "I noticed an opening between the two patrols up the road. We can sneak past them, but it's going to be closer than I'd like…"
"We don't really have a choice," Blanc muttered.
Neptune nodded. "Lead the way, boss."
With a firm nod, Noire led the Goddesses through the alleys of Leanbox as the two of them followed close behind. They carefully avoided the patrols, which came at the expense of moving much slower than they were before, which had already been at a snail's pace before.
Unfortunately, considering the alternative, Blanc didn't have much room to complain. All she could do was hope not to get caught, especially not by people she knew.
CRASH!
… That is, until Neptune went and knocked over a trash can as they were sneaking past a patrol right as they were about to get away scot-free, and the girl herself just looked like a deer caught in headlights.
Planeptune could live without a Goddess, right?
"Who's there?!"
The three of them frantically hid behind recycling cans, just as the patrol in question turned around to look at what was knocked over. Despite evading being caught, Blanc knew that wouldn't last long.
Her fears were cemented when she heard footsteps draw closer to their location.
"Crap…" Neptune cursed under her breath. Blanc held her breath as she heard the footsteps draw closer to her. For a moment, the brunette legitimately wondered if she'd have to knock out some soldiers with her hammer.
"H-Hold on, I have an idea…" Noire whispered, causing Blanc and Neptune to look at her with curious expressions. What was she planning to do?
Then, out of nowhere, the ravenette made a cat noise.
Blanc didn't know if it was weirder that Noire did something like that or the fact that the noise was practically spot on, as she looked at the ravenette with a stunned expression.
Neptune, on the other hand, looked like she was about to burst into laughter.
"Huh, it was just a cat…" The guards seemed to buy it well enough, considering they bought the noise and moved on, eventually moving away from their position, their heavy footsteps fading into the distance of the street.
There was a moment of silence between the Goddesses, as Noire looked beet red from what she just did.
"Huh, that was a pretty killer impression, Noire," Neptune said easily. "Where'd you learn the way of the cat?"
"S-Shut up…" Noire groaned as she put her face into her hands, just before she sighed and stood up. "C-Come on, we don't have much time. Let's keep going."
"Whatever you say, Meowficcer." Neptune jabbed.
Noire looked like she was about to suplex the girl right there.
Blanc felt compelled to say something, but ultimately she kept her mouth shut. If Neptune wanted to get hit in the head for being stupid like usual, she wasn't going to stop her.
Ultimately, the Goddesses resumed their pace in relative silence. They stuck to the alleys as usual, staying put in the face of patrols and avoiding flashlights whenever they could. Blanc could practically feel her heart racing every time a light almost spotted them, or when a patrol got too close for comfort.
Such was the case when a light shone down on the darkness of a particular alley, just barely missing the trio of Goddesses that hid on the edge of the walls. Blanc was sandwiched between Noire and Neptune. Noire's chest heaved as she took deep breaths to calm herself down, while Neptune just looked at the floor.
Well, at least it was just their shoulders rubbing together.
Eventually, the light shifted away from the alley, and the Goddesses collectively sighed in relief.
"Shit…" Blanc grumbled. "This is getting way too close for comfort."
"You're telling me." Neptune agreed. "I dunno how many more surprises my poor maiden heart can take. Ugh, maybe Uzume was onto something back there…"
"No, she wasn't." Noire said bluntly, with Blanc nodding in agreement. "Look, we're almost there. All we need to do at this point is—"
"Ugh, why do I have to be out here so late…"
The three of them collectively paled at the sound of a bored female voice, one that was very obviously echoing in the same alleyway as them as opposed to the patrols.
Naturally, that was bad.
All it took was a single glance to see the outline of a woman walking down the dark alley, who seemed to be S-Sha wearing headphones. Her posture alone made it obvious that she didn't see them yet, but just standing here doing nothing was likely to change that. It didn't help that the only other way out of the alley was towards another patrol.
They were cut off on both sides and with the footsteps of the woman drawing closer, Blanc wondered what they should do.
"I got an idea!" Neptune said in a hushed tone, and Noire and Blanc gave her curious looks.
The brunette nearly choked when the purplette bent down and picked up a metal pipe.
In the same second, Neptune winded back and hurled the thing with all of her might, sending it crashing into a line of trash cans adjacent to the woman before quickly making a cat noise of her own.
… As in, Neptune just said the word 'Meow' instead of trying to make anything resembling a decent impression.
"The hell?!" S-Sha reacted quickly and turned around. In an instant, Blanc heard the footsteps of soldiers coming in through the entrance of the alleyway, completely ignorant of the three Goddesses as they inspected the area where Neptune threw the pipe. The girls took the chance to escape out of the opening, running across the empty streets in a hurried rush.
… Just in time to see a bunch of floating drones flying over the streets. One of them instantly turned around at the sound of footsteps and started hovering over them.
The Goddesses picked up their pace when it started making blaring noises. Blanc could feel her panic rise as she heard footsteps, but Noire thought quickly and brought them into a narrow slit between two buildings. The area inside was small, enclosed by a fence and housing cardboard boxes.
"Dibs!" Neptune said excitedly, and no sooner after saying that did she dive underneath a stray box as if she were a fictional mercenary with a headband.
Noire and Blanc stared at that for a moment, but considering that the fenced-off area didn't completely shield them from the oncoming drones, they couldn't afford to dawdle.
Hurriedly, Noire and Blanc hid behind the mountain of boxes. With how tight of a fir it was, it meant they had to squeeze against each other while the boxes hid them from view of the drones that flew overhead.
This meant that Blanc ended up with her face in Noire's chest as she sat on her lap. She could practically hear her heartbeat and feel the sweat from how much they were running.
… This, however, was secondary to the fact that she could feel Noire's crotch.
Needless to say, it definitely wasn't wet with sweat.
"Ugh…" Noire seemed to notice at the same time Blanc did, and she didn't need to look to know the woman probably wanted to die at that particular moment.
In fact, Blanc didn't want to look at Noire at all, because she also felt like she wanted to die.
Fortunately for them, as soon as the drones passed and no more footsteps were heard, they were quick to get out of their positions as if their very lives depended on it.
"Well, that happened…" Neptune commented as she came out of her cardboard box. "Heh, I was a total stealth master though."
"... Do us a favor and never have ideas again." Blanc dulled. "It'll save us a lot of headaches."
"A-Agreed…" Noire said with a blush.
"Rude!" Neptune huffed. "Well, whatever. Let's get going. We're closing in on the Basilicom, and possibly Vert's demise!"
With that said, Neptune went ahead of them, giving Noire and Blanc a moment to themselves.
They just gave each other a look.
"... So, never talk about this again?" Blanc offered.
"... Y-Yes, that'd be best." Noire agreed.
"Geez, these soldiers everywhere are so annoying," Maho grumbled under her breath. "They just came out of nowhere…"
Uni found herself nodding in agreement as the three of them hid in a line of bushes, just out of sight from the flying drones that floated overhead. It was only a little bit ago that they were patrolling through the empty streets mostly fine, but their progress came to a screeching halt once the areas became flooded with Basilicom guards and robotic drones.
This left the Candidates in a rather tricky position. The patrols weren't much of an issue, but all the drones would instantly give them away.
"W-Why are so many of them out here…?" Nepgear squeaked from her hiding spot.
"I'm not interested in finding out why," said Uni. "But we need to get around them."
"Hm…" Maho thought for a moment before her eyes lit up with realization. "Gearsy! Hack those drones with your N-Gear, it'll distract the soldiers, won't it?"
Just like that, Nepgear's eyes lit up along with hers. "G-Good idea!"
Hastily, the purplette brought out her N-Gear and turned it on. With a few clicks and taps the flying drones started bugging out and making blaring noises seemingly at random, earning the startled attention of the soldiers around the area. In an instant, the soldiers broke off their patrol to see what was going on with the machines.
The Candidates took that chance to break off into a nearby alley, and Uni tried not to stare at Maho's considerable chest, bouncing as she jogged alongside them.
Once they were finally out of sight inside the dark alley, the teens took a moment to breathe in relief.
"Hah… Good thinking, Maho." Uni said with a sigh as she leaned back against a wall. "I'm surprised I didn't think of that…"
"Hehe, getting complimented by Uni feels so nice…" Maho said with a glint in her eye. Uni instantly flushed in embarrassment and looked away. Her heart began to race against her chest for no reason.
"W-We shouldn't stand around for too long." Nepgear stammered as she brought up her N-Gear again. "W-We're getting close to the Basilicom, but we need to keep an eye out for patrols now…"
"With Gearsy's genius hacking skills, it shouldn't be an issue at all." Maho proclaimed, which made the purplette blush.
"Nepgear's right, though," said Uni. "We can't let up our guards now. Whatever they're looking for, we have to stay out of their sights." She then sighed. "It'd cause a whole international incident if we get caught like this, and I'm not a fan of our luck…"
Maho tilted her head. "What do you mean? Who's gonna catch us like thi—"
"Is someone there?"
Yup, there it was.
Maho's sentence was cut off by the voice of a girl, one that Uni instantly recognized as God Eater. The brunette had her head peeked around the corner, her blue eyes peering in from the other side of the dark alleyway. "It's so dark… U-Um, please tell me who you all are! See, I'm on patrol and—"
That was all Uni needed to hear.
While Nepgear and Maho stood and looked unsure of what to do, Uni didn't even think about what her next course of action would be.
Namely, taking out a smoke pellet and hurling it in God Eater's general direction.
"Gah?!" God Eater yelped as the pellet exploded into a plume of smoke, and the young ravenette took the chance to grab the hands of the bewildered Nepgear and Maho and drag them into a nearby building. "W-Wait, hold on!"
… In hindsight, maybe it wasn't a smart idea to provoke her sister's personal bodyguard like that, but Uni just didn't want to entertain the thought of being caught back there. Unfortunately for her, it meant that the soldier was currently giving chase to them.
"I-In here!" Nepgear said in a hushed tone, as she proceeded to open a closet and shoved them all inside. Uni ended up with her back hitting the wall, Maho got shoved right in front of her and Nepgear piled on into the really cramped space.
… Which meant that Uni's body was rubbing up against Maho's.
However, Uni didn't have any time to dwell on this new feeling. Just as soon as the door closed, a pair of footsteps came trailing in after them and caused the Candidates to hold their breaths.
"A-Ah, I feel so creepy doing this, they could just be normal people…" God Eater mumbled, sounding embarrassed. "S-Still, I should check the parameter. I have a mission, after all…"
Uni groaned quietly when it became apparent that the girl wasn't leaving any time soon, and the reality of the situation was becoming ever apparent to her, resulting in an embarrassed blush to paint the Candidate's face.
Any attempts to move just made the situation worse for her, and caused things to rub up against other things in a compromising manner. She could feel Maho's breathing on her neck, along with her stuttering heartbeat with the way their bodies were pressed up.
Uni didn't think it could get much worse than this.
"Ah… Mph?!"
So of course, fate itself was raring to prove her wrong.
Nepgear had shifted back, which cause Maho to lurch forward unwillingly and kiss Uni by complete accident. The two of them made startled noises when their lips pressed together, while Nepgear remained completely oblivious to their situation.
"Ugh… There's nothing here. Hmm, I hope I didn't scare those people…"
When God Eater's footsteps became quieter and the sound of another door opened, Nepgear opened the closet and let them all out.
"U-Ugh… W-We managed to avoid her…" Nepgear sighed in relief, then turned back to Uni and Maho. "Are you two alright? I couldn't really see, but…"
For a moment, Uni didn't know what to say. Her mind was still processing what happened.
"We're fine, Gearsy!" Maho answered for her, sounding completely natural. "But we should keep moving. We can't afford to stay in one place for too long."
"Y-You're right…" Nepgear nodded, then turned to start walking away with her N-Gear. "We can probably take a route out through this way…"
Uni stared silently at Maho.
Maho looked back at her and, to the Candidate's shock, gave her a wink and put a finger to her lips before she trotted on to catch up to Nepgear.
Uni just stared for a long while, before she eventually shuffled up to them in complete silence.
Chances were she was never going to live this down.
'I didn't think it was possible for you to do something stupider today, but you're just determined to prove me wrong, aren't you?'
The mental voice of Kurome Ankokuboshi droned on to Uzume as she walked through the winding halls of the Basilicom. The redhead knew that Chika specifically told her to stay put until their mystery guest arrived, but as it turned out, spending an entire day running tended to make one quite hungry.
Besides, she wasn't really inclined to stick around while Nepsy was busy moaning about her inevitable doom.
So, Uzume simply left to find the cafeteria to get something to eat, and her other self was complaining for some reason.
'What's the big deal? I'm just getting a quick lunch.'
'... You're not wearing anything. At all.' Her other self stated, pointing out Uzume's complete state of nakedness. 'You didn't even bring that stupid cloak.'
'Well yeah, it'd be way too hot with that thing on in here.' Uzume reasoned. 'By the way, where's the cafeteria anyway? Do you have an idea?'
'... I don't know what you expect me to do. I've never been to any nation outside of Planeptune, and this Baslicom's layout is completely different from ours.'
'Yeah, I forgot about that…' Uzume sighed. 'Well, we can just ask around if anyone's available.'
'... You're an idiot.' Kurome sighed in her head, before dropping their mental link before Uzume could think of a retort.
Seriously, what was her issue?
Well, whatever.
Uzume continued her walk in silence, waving at the maids she walked past. All of them looked flushed as she did that, though Uzume didn't really get why.
Eventually, the redhead made her way to an elevator. A Basilicom worker was already inside of it, so Uzume rushed into it before it closed on her. She didn't catch the worker's surprised look as she ran inside of it, as her eyes instantly went to the buttons.
"Let's see… Ah, cafeteria! There we go." With a smirk, Uzume pressed the button and leaned back against the metal wall, watching the door slide shut as the elevator began to move downward.
Her eyes glanced over to the other occupant in the elevator, who suddenly looked flushed and was looking anywhere but Uzume's general direction.
"What's up with you?" Uzume asked him, though he didn't reply. When the elevator stopped and opened, he quickly rushed out without a second glance.
Weird.
Uzume waited even longer before her ride eventually took her to the desired floor. Stepping out, Uzume made her way into the large cafeteria. She made her way to a nearby vending machine, where she pressed a series of buttons and got her hands on a bag of chips that she eagerly dug into.
"Um…"
Unfortunately for Uzume, her route was interrupted by the various amounts of workers that gathered around her as she ate. With a raised eyebrow, Uzume turned around and faced them mid-bite.
"What's up?" Uzume asked as she finished her bite.
"... There were some reports of a girl walking around naked." said one of the guards with a flushed face. "We, er, didn't think it was you, Lady Uzume. Is… there a reason for this?"
Issue? Wasn't it completely normal to walk around naked? Why would there be reports about it? Did the Basilicom have some kind of rule she didn't know about?
… If that was the case, Uzume couldn't just tell them the reason why she was naked. That was supposed to be a secret.
"Um…" For the first time that day, Uzume blushed in embarrassment as words failed her in that moment, a proper excuse completely escaping her.
"If I may be so inclined, I shall provide an explanation."
As if saved by the grace of the True Goddess herself, a new voice came about and spared Uzume humiliation. That voice belonged to MAGES., another face she recognized, who came into the scene with a calm smile as she held a can of Doc Tear Popper.
"Miss MAGES.? You know Lady Uzume?" A worker asked as all eyes went to her.
"Indeed." The mage nodded. "As it happens, I had brought her in as a volunteer for an experiment of mine. The design of the mechanism was intended for the wearer to go about in the buff while completely invisible to those around her, but it seems there was a slight… malfunction."
The workers all nodded as if that explanation made perfect sense. Uzume was stunned by how naturally she said it like it actually did happen.
"With that said, I shall take my leave with the Orange Goddess." With that said, MAGES. grabbed her hand and took her along. "Sorry for the disturbances. I'll ensure the prototype is more stable next time."
The two women left the cafeteria with nothing more to say, making it out to the halls where they stood out of sight. Uzume sighed in relief.
"You really saved my skin there. I thought I was done for." Uzume said in a thankful tone. "I feel like I should repay you somehow."
"It's no trouble." MAGES. waved her off easily. "Anything for an old acquaintance. You're still as lively as you were the first time we crossed paths."
"Heh, you too," Uzume smirked. "How have you been? I haven't seen you in a while."
"I'm having a splendid night." MAGES. replied. "Though the call here was a tad sudden, in the end, it's offering a generous payment that I could hardly decline."
Uzume tilted her head. "You're on a job? What's it for?"
MAGES. smirked, as if that answer was obvious. "Alas, I was summoned by Lady Chika to tend to a sensitive issue regarding some unexpected events following this year's charity run." Her eyes went to Uzume's form. "It seems I've come at an ideal time."
Uzume blinked. "Oh, so you're the one she called?"
MAGES. nodded. "So it seems that we meet again in the midst of a dangerous situation. I distinctly remember our first meeting being the aftermath of Hirool Castle's untimely destruction."
"Ah, that…" Uzume laughed as she scratched the back of her head, recalling the incident with perfect clarity. In her defense, it was mostly Nepsy's fault back there, and that girl has bailed by the time the authorities showed up.
She was still a little salty about it.
"There you are."
Uzume and MAGES. turned their heads, coming face to face with the very annoyed face of the Oracle of Leanbox as she walked up to them.
"... Hey, Chika. Want some chips?" Uzume offered as she extended the bag with one hand.
"... No." Chika said to her blankly then turned her head to the mad magician. "Mages—"
"MAGES." She instantly corrected her. "With a period."
"... MAGES." Chika said after staring at her for a moment. "Your arrival came at a good time. I just got word that some scouts found the Goddesses."
MAGES. reacted in surprise. "Oh, so soon? I'll make the preparations with haste."
"Good. At least someone listens…" Saying that, Chika rubbed her head. "I need an aspirin…"
It looked like the nightmare was finally about to come to an end.
Leanbox's Basilicom was just ahead of them now. In a few hundred meters, Neptune, Noire and Blanc would be home free to get inside the Basilicom, where the latter two were completely liable to leave Leanbox without a Goddess by the end of the night.
At this point, Neptune didn't have any energy left in her to stop them. She just wanted to get out of this situation already.
"Almost there…" Noire said underneath her breath, as they avoided yet another squad of patrols and sneaked their way through the generous opening. The Basilicom shone so brightly that the light made it almost impossible for them to hide, but they managed to do it thanks to Noire's directions.
"Sheesh, about time…" Neptune sighed. "I thought we woulda been caught ages ago, but we're home free baby!"
"Don't jinx us." Blanc warned her. "I've read a lot of books, and at this point an author would throw in a surprise just as the characters are about to meet their goal.
"Pfft, that sounds as cliche as it gets." Neptune waved that off. "What are the chances of that happening right—
"What the hell?!"
The Goddesses all froze at the sound of a girl screeching. Mere meters away from the Basilicom, they were approached by a short blonde girl in a frilly pink dress with a skull ornament on her head. The girl, whoever the heck she was, looked at them as if they were monsters roaming about in the streets.
"I knew it! I knew it!" The girl practically screeched. "I thought it was just that shameless bimbo, but it turns out all of the Goddesses are senseless perverts on their way to corrupt the young girls of Gamindustri!"
Noire and Blanc were at a complete loss for words, likely stunned still at the fact that they were actually caught by this weirdo. Which meant, like usual, Neptune had no choice but to somehow save the situation.
"H-Hold on, we were just—"
"I don't want to hear it!" The lady screamed, her voice echoing in the empty streets and causing Neptune to pale. "I won't stand idly by and watch this degeneracy continue on! I'll expose the Goddesses for what they really are!" Saying that, the lady brought out a camera.
Neptune felt her heart drop, and Noire and Blanc looked horrified. "W-We don't need to—!"
"Zip it!" She yelled at her. "All I need to do is hit record and then—"
At that moment, Neptune knew that there was no time to think. Only action could save this situation from getting way worse than it already was.
With that in mind, Planeptune's Goddess did the first thing her instincts told her to do, which was to bring out her gun and shoot the camera right out of the lady's hands with a very loud bang.
The lady, as well as Noire and Blanc, all stood in stunned silence with wide eyes. Naturally, none of them expected Neptune to do something like that.
"Uhh... What's that thing those cool action movie protagonists say?" Neptune thought for a moment, gun still pointed at the lady. "Oh, right. We can do this thing the easy way or the hard way, missus! How's it gonna be?"
The lady in question had only one reaction to that, which was to turn in the opposite direction and run away screaming.
There was another moment of silence between the Goddesses before Blanc spoke in a quiet mumble. "W-Well… That happened…"
"... W-We should… Uh, we should probably get moving…" Noire said, after standing still for a moment from pure shock. "I… she made a lot of noise."
"You won't get very far."
In an instant, the Goddesses were surrounded by a squad of guards, and the voice that called to them belonged to none other than IF herself.
"I-Iffy!" Neptune called out to her in surprise, and a second later she covered herself with a blushed face. The others did the same, all equal amounts of horrified at getting caught. "U-Um… H-Hey?"
"About damn time I found you three." The brunette said with a relieved sigh. "I just followed all that screaming and bam, Goddesses located. Lucky me."
"... W-What do you mean 'About time?'" Noire asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Why else? Lady Chika found out what happened and gave the order to track you all down and bring you to the Basilicom." IF explained, then gave them a look. "Why do you think everyone's been out and about over the last few hours?"
"... Oh, that makes sense." was all Neptune had to say at that revelation.
Noire and Blanc groaned behind her.
They had been so close to salvation.
The Basilicom was right there, the Candidates had been less than a mile away from escaping their situation and finally getting away from the embarrassment once and for all.
So, of course, something had to go wrong.
"Ugh, it's right there…" Uni grumbled under her breath, her crimson eyes glaring at the sheer multitude of soldiers and drones that blocked their way in that blocked their path into the Basilicom. A straight path at that point was going to be impossible, and if anything it seemed like these guys had gotten more aggressive than before.
As such, the Candidates had no choice but to sneak around in a nearby alley. These winding pathways almost felt like a second home with how often they were used, and Uni absolutely hated that.
"W-We can probably get into the Basilicom through this route…" Nepgear muttered as she looked straight down at her N-Gear. "Um, I think so anyway. There should be an opening here…"
"Don't stress yourself out, Gearsy. You've been doing great all day." Maho gave her some supportive words as usual, and then she followed it up with a yawn. "Man, I'm getting sleepy…"
Uni nodded in agreement, as she could feel the exhaustion from the day's race and the constant sneaking around finally catch up to her. If it weren't for the Discs, she likely would have passed out hours ago, so the fact that it was only just affecting her now was quite something.
Uni wondered how her sister was faring, or if she managed to make it to the Basilicom with the others. She had no way of knowing without her phone, but she had to have faith in her.
Just as they turned a corner to continue down the alley, Nepgear suddenly stopped them and crouched behind some nearby boxes. That was all Uni and Maho needed to see to know that they weren't alone in the alley, though really, what were the odds of bumping into people far away like this?
It was like the True Goddess was taunting—
"?!"
Unit's thoughts stopped abruptly as her eyes caught the form of a tall figure. The sleek violet armor, the sheer height, the sword that gleaned under the moonlight.
There was no denying it, this person was Steamax, and it seemed like he was receiving something from another familiar face, one that made Uni glower. She'd recognize that stupid mouse hood and ugly green hair anywhere.
"L-Linda…?" Nepgear muttered in shock as she seemed to realize it at the same time Uni did. Despite her repeated insistences that the girl had turned over a new leaf, it seemed as though the local underling was still up to her old tricks.
Uni didn't care about her, but what was Steamax doing here dealing with that girl? Was he getting back into shady stuff with that boss of his?
"These are… exceptional." Steamax said, after he inspected the interiors of the contents. "It seems Lord Affimojas was right to seek your services again. He will be most pleased with these."
"You're goddamn right he was." Underling proclaimed with a proud tone. "I didn't risk my skin for half-assed shots of that blonde bimbo. Now give me my money already."
Blonde bimbo? Was she talking about Vert? Had this bitch been taking pictures of them when they were racing? And… was Steamax paying her for pictures?!
"Of course, that was the deal." It was Steamax's turn to hand over something, which Uni couldn't make out but she was sure it was money. "Check it if you like. The contents are there."
Linda did exactly that, her hands shuffling inside the contents for a moment before her eyes went wide. "Goddamn, you guys at AffimaX don't fuck around." She whistled, then put it into her jacket with a smirk. "That should hold me over for a few months at least. Thanks for the patronage."
"Actually, since we're here…" Steamax continued, causing Linda to stop just as she started to walk away. "By any chance, were you able to acquire any pictures of Lady Noire?"
Uni blanched at the mention of her sister's name. From beside her, Nepgear and Maho looked at her with worried expressions. Those were completely valid responses, because the young ravenette was currently shaking.
Linda clicked her tongue. "You're shit out of luck. If you want pictures of her, go to Chirper. That shit has been trending all day."
"Hm, a shame…" Why did Steamax sound so disappointed by that?! "Well, since we're on the topic, what about Lady Uni—"
"GAAAAAH! YOU PERVERTS!"
Unable to take it anymore, Uni leapt from her hiding spot and brandished her rifle. In an instant, she began shooting wildly in their general direction, while Nepgear and Maho followed behind with panicked expressions.
Steamax, the absolute perverted bastard, escaped her wrath by leaping up onto the roofs with his ninjitsu and making a run for it. Uni was definitely going to confront him later on that.
Linda, however, wasn't as lucky. Backed into a wall and surrounded by bullet holes, the underling looked like she had just seen Death itself.
"You." Uni didn't waste any time in pointing her rifle right at Linda's face, her expression and tone as stern and unyielding as Noire on her worst days. "Destroy those photos of me. Now."
"I-I don't have any photos! I-I only took pictures of that exhibitionist cow, dammit!" Linda hurriedly rushed to defend herself, her voice sounding frantic due to the gun pointed right at her face, but it didn't take long for her eyes to wander down. "Uh, why are you all naked—"
"Shut up!" Uni didn't have any time or patience to bother explaining it to the lowlife as she pushed her gun closer. "Gah, I should just shoot you right now and be done with it!"
Linda paled at that suggestion.
"P-Please don't!" Nepgear instantly rushed and put her hand on Uni's rifle. "I-I don't agree with her actions here, b-but I promise she's a good person!"
Uni felt inclined to just ignore Nepgear and pull the trigger on the underling, considering her anger was pretty much at a boiling point with this.
"U-Um, not to interrupt, but I hear guards coming…!" Maho called out to them anxiously, and no sooner did she say that did Uni hear the faint sounds of footsteps getting closer and closer to their location.
If they didn't start moving now, they'd get discovered by the guards and all hell would break loose.
They didn't have any time.
"Ugh… Okay, you." Uni lowered her rifle, but her glare didn't soften at all as she practically growled at the underling. "Take us to the Basilicom, because I know you know of whatever hidden paths that place has."
"She wouldn't—"
"She would." Uni interrupted Nepgear when she tried to defend Linda again. "Leanbox was practically ASIC's second base during their heyday, and this bitch practically ran it. If anyone knows, it'd be her." Uni turned her attention back to the underling. "With that said, take us there."
Linda seemed to think for a moment, and Uni tapped her foot impatiently as she heard the footsteps draw closer. "Well, I might be willing to help for the right price…"
Without saying a word, Uni silently raised her rifle again.
"B-But I'll also be willing to help for totally free, as a token of our friendship!" Linda instantly backtracked.
The ravenette smirked. "Thought so."
Linda wondered how she got into this mess.
It was supposed to be a simple mission. Take some pictures of the slutty cow called a Goddess, get some money from the rich assholes running AffimaX and go on about her day. All would have been right in Linda's world if things went that smoothly.
Unfortunately, it didn't. Instead of getting to go home with some sweet instant noodles and chips to fill herself up, Linda's whole night was ruined by some bullshit divine intervention. Instead, she was forced at literal gunpoint to take the Candidates to the Basilicom.
Linda knew all about that stupid exhibitionism race for 'charity' or whatever the excuse was, but what left her scratching her head was why the fuck they were still running around buck ass naked and avoiding soldiers like they were a band of wanted criminals.
Not like they were willing to share the details, unless Linda specifically wanted a bullet to the face. Since she kind of cared about her self-preservation, the ex-ASIC member just chose to keep her questions to herself.
"Linda… How do you know about these pathways?"
Nepgear asked her that question as they walked through the hidden tunnels underneath Leanbox's Basilicom. The tunnels were dark, dank and dusty as shit, forcing Linda to rely on her memory more than ever as they weaved through the narrow trenches.
"You're really asking? These tunnels were used all the time during my ASIC days, and the idiots in charge still haven't noticed them all these years later." Linda explained proudly, like she was reciting a history lesson. "Of course, that's bound to change now that you've all seen them. Not like I was using these much anyway…"
Well, that was just an outright lie. If those horned-balled idiots at AffimaX wanted pictures of that busty bimbo again, and she was sure that'd be the case, Linda would just have to find other ways inside.
"I'm not interested in hearing you reminisce." The tsunderbitch said with a growl. "Just shut up and take us up already."
Linda rolled her eyes. "Quit your whining, there's an entrance over here that leads to the elevators. After that, you can kiss me goodbye because I'm sure as hell not risking my neck in there."
"Why's that?" The pink-haired girl… whatever the fuck her name was, asked with her hand raised.
Linda just raised an eyebrow at that. "Do you… Are you really asking that right now?"
To that, the weird girl just rubbed her head with an awkward smile. "W-Well, I've been pretty sheltered most of my life, so I don't really… know a lot of things. I know ASIC existed, at least. Were you some kind of big shot?"
"... Something like that." Linda said off-handedly, especially when the tsunderbitch looked like she was about to bust out laughing at the suggestion. "Let's just keep going."
Truth be told, if it had been up to Linda, she was liable to have just bailed all together than risk her neck like this for no real gain of her own. Her first value over anything was herself.
However, after seeing Nepgear in the group and in need of help, Linda couldn't resist giving in.
Maybe she was getting soft.
"Through here," Linda directed them to a vent, where she easily pulled off the grate and got on her knees to go in first. "It'll be a tight fit, so I hope none of you are claustrophobic."
"... Really? We're going in through here?" The tsunderbitch sounded less than amused when she saw the cramped opening.
"Were you expecting a royal escort, Princess?" Linda shot back. "This vent will take you to the main lobby, and there's some elevators you can ride up to avoid getting spotted instantly. That is, of course, if your holiness is willing to bear crawling through a dusty vent for a minute or two."
The tsunderbitch's eyes narrowed. "You…"
"P-Please don't fight…" Nepgear jutted in with a nervous expression, getting right in between her and Linda.
"... Whatever." The tsunderbitch ultimately sighed and dropped it. "Let's just get going."
With that said, the four girls got on all fours and crawled through the cramped metal tube. Linda almost sneezed with how much dust got into her eyes as they crawled past, which was weird. She used this vent all the time, so why was it so dusty?
Well, it didn't matter. They reached the end of the vent soon enough, and Linda easily pushed the thing open with her foot and got them all through into the lobby.
… Except this place wasn't the lobby.
Instead, what greeted Linda was a large empty hot spring. Nothing about it looked particularly remarkable to her, but the fact they were even here at all was baffling to Linda.
"... This doesn't look like a lobby." came the excellent observation of the tsunderbitch, as the three of them got out of the vent and hopped back up to their feet.
"Huh, maybe I got a little mixed up…" Linda explained, then raised her hands up when the girl glared at her. "In my defense, it was dark as shit down there. It might not be to your liking Princess, but we can still make our way to the lobby—"
"S-Someone's coming!"
As soon as Nepgear said that, Linda's instincts kicked in. She instantly hid behind some generous rocks, the rest of the girls following behind her and taking their own hiding spots as the footsteps became louder.
The owners of those steps belonged to two girls Linda recognized. One was that brainless busty bimbo ninja named MarvelousAQL that made Linda pale as soon as she saw her, and her companion was the local pussy-obsessed sex offender known as RED. They were both as naked as the girls she was trying to get into the Basilicom, but at least they had a good excuse to prance around like that.
The two of them instantly stepped into the springs to soak in, and the orange-haired ninja looked particularly pleased as she stretched her arms back, showing off her… ahem, assets in full view.
"Aaaah, nothing beats coming to the hot springs after a hard day's work…~" Marvelous said, her unusually shaped eyes full of mirth as she sipped a fruity drink. "I feel like I can soak in here for hours…~"
"Hehe, me too~" Her companion nodded along with her, but it was beyond obvious that she was staring at her tits. How that shinobi bimbo didn't notice her blatant ogling was beyond Linda.
"What do we do? They're right in front of us." The pink-haired girl asked in a hushed voice. That was definitely a good question. The three of them could probably pass just fine in their states, but as for Linda…
"Just wait it out." Linda eventually said after thinking for a moment. "If that bimbo ninja sees me, I'm as good as done."
"... And why is that?" The tsunderbitch asked in a suspicious tone.
"Don't worry about it." Linda said, trying to put the topic to sleep as fast as possible.
"I feel like I should." The Candidate, however, was unwilling to let that statement go so easily. What a pain…
"P-Please stop…" Nepgear quietly pleaded with them.
The next few minutes were spent in silence, as the group watched the two women from a distance and waited for their opportunity to sneak by and escape. Linda would have appreciated it if she didn't have to put up with that stupid red idiot's horny staring and drooling, but she preferred this to getting caught by that bimbo ninja.
Sometimes, Linda really fucking hated having a conscience. It was way easier to just be indifferent to everything.
"Phew…" Marvelous fanned herself, then glanced at her perverted companion with an… interesting smile. "RED, I'm feeling hot all over. Why don't you help me cool down?"
… Huh?
"H-Huh?" RED mirrored Linda's confused state of mind perfectly as she looked at her partner. In response, the busty kunoichi took an ice cube from her empty glass and stuck her tongue out. She swirled the ice cube around using her tongue and followed it up with a mirthy wink. "It's a common technique among kunoichi. Put this in your mouth and drag it across my body. I'll do the same thing if you're feeling hot too."
RED's eyes went wide, as if she had just seen the True Goddess herself, but it didn't take her long to jump at that chance. "R-Right away!"
"U-Um…" Nepgear spoke up meekly. "S-Should… should we be watching this…?"
Linda didn't say anything in response, because the scene playing out in front of her was so fucking ridiculous that she couldn't think of anything witty to say. Seriously, did they stumble into the set-up of some shitty third-rate ero doujin or something?! Why was everyone around her a goddamn pervert?!
"... W-We can probably sneak past them." Uni said slowly, offering some sanity. "They seem… p-pretty distracted with each other…"
Distracted. That was definitely a word for it. Linda sure was hearing some distracted moaning over there.
Still, it was an opening, and Linda wasn't exactly raring to see this play out, especially if she got caught so the bimbo would have a reason to lop her head off.
Silently, the group slowly moved across the springs and inched their way closer and closer to the entrance on the other side. The ex-ASIC member did everything in her power to keep her eyes off the shameless display going on just meters away, though her pointed ears definitely weren't as lucky.
"Should have brought Milli with me…~!" She heard the red-haired nympho say, and Linda didn't even want to think about what the hell that even meant.
Somehow, by some sliver of luck, they managed to sneak past the two as they enjoyed their overly sensual ice-cube… stuff without noticing them. Eventually they made their way inside of the building itself, ending up in a changing room where they had a moment to breathe.
"Well… we're just gonna ignore whatever the fuck happened in there…" Linda said with an exasperated sigh. "But hey, we actually made it in without being seen. You can thank me later."
"How about never?" The tsunderbitch shot at her, earning a glare in response.
"W-We should keep going," Nepgear butted in yet again. "We're still not safe yet. There might be cameras…"
"In that case, there's a bunch of yukatas over there you can take." The ex-ASIC member pointed to a rack of them behind her. "I dunno why you were all naked, but that should fix the problem, right?"
"No, that won't work." The pink-haired girl shook her head. "The Discs we're wearing would just erase them, so we're kinda out of luck."
Linda blinked.
"The fucking what?"
"TL;DR, we have faulty Discs that erase clothes. Moving on." Uni said swiftly, moving past the confused underling towards a rack of towels. "We can probably get away with these, at least. They're not clothes."
"Oh, good thinking Uni!" Nepgear praised the girl, which made her blush. The Candidates didn't hesitate to wrap the white towels around themselves, finally getting some form of layers on them.
"Ha, decency at last~!" The pink-haired girl sounded positively elated. "Now we just need to find Vert and get this settled out once and for all."
"I can probably lead us to safety…" Nepgear pulled out her N-Gear, pulling up a map of the interior of Leanbox's Basilicom. "We can get by if we follow this path. Hopefully no guards will see us…"
"Well, if you can manage on your own, then kiss me goodbye." Linda said off-handedly. "I already did more than my fair share of charity work tonight. Don't want to overstay my welcome, you know?"
"Why are you in such a rush to leave?" Once again, Uni gave the underling a suspicious look. "Are you afraid we're going to snitch on you to Vert about those pictures?"
To that, Linda just laughed. "You really think that exhibitionist cow would give two shits about that? There's way worse pictures of her out there posted by her. The stuff I sold was borderline vanilla."
In truth, that was a bold faced lie. Linda definitely had her fair share of moments where she snuck into the Basilicom and took pictures of that slut in her own home and sold those pictures to those mecha-wearing idiots running AffimaX. If that little fact was found out, she'd be looking at some more jail time.
Fortunately for her, the tsunderbitch seemed to buy into her lie with just a huff. "You have a point, but I really will kill you if I find out you're selling pictures of me. Steamax is already on the guillotine as it is."
"That seems a little… harsh…" Nepgear said, though she didn't sound particularly convincing.
"Sheesh, put an F in chat for Steamax." The pink-haired girl said with a nervous smile. "No cap, couldn't be me."
Linda sweated a little at that comment. "Well, whatever. See you idiots lat—"
"Huh… Guess I'm on a roll today."
Linda froze.
Just as she was about to leave, she heard a voice she recognized all too well. Coming out of the entrance was a certain brunette guild agent wearing a yukata, followed behind that ditzy nurse Warechu had a raging hard on for.
Well, fuck.
"I-IF!" Nepgear reacted to her sudden appearance with surprise.
"Well well, it's about time you girls showed up." IF said easily. "We just brought your sisters back and I wanted to relax a little with Compa after being on the prowl for hours, and it turns out you three were chilling in the hot springs."
"Ge-Ge! Uni and Maho too!" The clueless nurse ran up to hug all of them. "I'm so happy you're safe! I was really worried…"
"Y-You were looking for us?" Uni asked with a raised eyebrow, as Compa let all of them go.
IF just sighed wearily. "Yeah, and you girls made it hard as hell for us." Her gaze made its way to Linda herself. "On the plus side, you brought me a criminal."
Well, it was time to bullshit her way out of this.
"I don't know what you're talking about, I'm an innocent woman." She said casually, crossing her arms. "I'm offended you heard the word criminal and instantly thought of me. What kind of profiling is that?"
IF looked less than amused with her.
"I-IF, she helped us get here, she didn't do anything wrong…" Nepgear, the absolute saint, defended her once more.
The brunette just laughed and shook her head. "Really? Because I seem to remember reading reports of a girl matching her description selling knock-off merchandise at premium prices during the marathon."
"Taking advantage of people like that is nasty!" Compa said affirmatively. "Ge-Ge said you changed your ways, are you making her a liar now?"
"L-Linda…?" Nepgear looked to her with a confused expression, just as Uni practically glowered at her like she was some kind of demon.
It was fine. She could still sweet talk her way out of this.
"Even if I did it, which I didn't, wouldn't it be the fault of the people who actually bought those?" Linda presented her case as if she were an attorney with a stupid hairstyle. "It takes a complete moron to pay so much for a bunch of cheap shirts and hair clips that just so happen to have some fancy icons on them."
"... I didn't mention what the merchandise was, did I?"
Linda stopped, her confident expression faltering when IF smugly pointed out that obvious detail.
… Well, so much for negotiation. Time for action.
In an instant, the underling reached into her jacket and threw bags full of hair clips straight at IF's face and made a total break for it.
"H-Hey! Get back here!"
"Iffy, wait!"
With that, the ex-ASIC member known as Linda escaped into the night, her mission fully accomplished.
"Ahhh, it's finally done…" Vert smiled as she stretched her arms over her head, the raid officially over after hours of laborious fighting. Truly, she was lucky that she managed to get in as soon as she did, or else the losses would have been severe.
Alas, the rewards had been worth it, and Leanbox's Goddess was feeling quite proud of herself. Satisfied, she logged off of her computer and pushed herself away from her desk. It was getting quite late, and she certainly felt exhaustion and lingering hunger begin to creep up on her.
… It was still strange, though. Despite everything she had done today, Vert still had yet to feel any major shift in Shares as she expected. Surely she put in enough effort to have faith flowing to her, so what was happening? Was there some kind of delayed effect?
Perhaps the exhaustion she felt was preventing her from fully feeling the effects of all the Shares she had certainly received. Perhaps a good sleep, but she was terribly hungry as well. Would Chika be willing to make her dinner this late? Maybe if she sweet-talked her way into it…
Knock knock
"Dearest~! Come outside, I have a surprise for you~!"
Ah, perfect timing.
Smiling, Vert walked up to her door and opened it easily, fully expecting to see Chika on the other side.
… But it wasn't Chika. Instead, it was Noire and Blanc standing there with sickeningly sweet smiles of their own. In their hands, they held their weapons.
Vert's smile fell.
"I-I truly am sorry, everyone…"
Vert bowed her head as low as it could go, her form in dogeza as her fellow Goddesses stood around her. Her dress had been torn to shreds, leaving the blonde Goddess completely naked as a result as the remnants of her clothes laid around her.
It's not like she didn't mind being naked, but…
"... But did you really have to turn up the air conditioning until it's freezing?"
"Yes." The brunette said matter-of-factly. "Don't act like you don't deserve this."
"B-But it's so cold…" Vert looked up, practically shivering. "If only someone could warm me up…"
There was roughly five seconds of dead silence between her and her fellow Goddesses.
When Nepgear tried to take a step forward, Uni grabbed her arm.
When Maho tried the same thing, Uni grabbed her arm too.
"Enough with all of this nonsense!" Noire brought the conversation to a halt, her glare enough to pierce a hole straight through Vert. "What was the real reason you set this all up? Don't act as if you didn't have an ulterior motive for all of this."
"I-I don't know what you're talking about…" Vert tried to lie, but the fact she couldn't look any of them in the eyes certainly didn't help her case.
"So there is one." Blanc's eyes narrowed right at her, and Vert gulped.
"Out with it, woman!" Neptune demanded.
Well, there was no point in trying to hide it now.
"Alright, I admit it! The real reason is…" Vert hesitated for a moment, before she continued in haste. "I wanted to diverge Shares towards Leanbox! By getting all the Goddesses to run in this marathon, surely Shares would naturally flow to me as a result. I would be known as the one who made you all strip on live television. It was ingenious!"
Neptune, Noire and Blanc all glared at her as soon as that was revealed. Despite the cold, Vert started to sweat under the intensity of such stares.
She was about to die, wasn't she?
"U-Um, if that's the case, then…" Before that happened, Nepgear stepped up with her N-Gear in hand. "It… didn't really work…"
"... Huh?"
With a somber expression, Nepgear showed her N-Gear's screen to everyone in the room.
When Vert saw it, her heart dropped.
There was no mistaking it. Leanbox had ended up with lower Shares than before, while the other nations had practically skyrocketed.
In particular, Planeptune was at the top.
That was awful.
"Pffft…"
All at once, the fury of her fellow Goddesses gave way to nothing short of amusement and delight by that revelation.
"Well, Vert, thanks for the free Shares." Noire congratulated her with a mocking clap. "You should have ideas like this more often."
"Hm, I feel like I need to celebrate after this…" Blanc said, unable to hide her wide smile.
"Wowzers! Planeptune's never been that high before! Histy's gonna be so proud of me!" Neptune threw her hands up in celebration. "Thanks, Vert! You're awesome!"
Vert didn't say anything. All she did was sit and stare at the floor as she contemplated this horrible situation.
From the sides, the Candidates whispered to themselves.
"Should we… help her?" Maho asked.
"I don't know, she kind of brought this onto herself, didn't she?" Uni reasoned.
"I-I feel bad, but… This whole situation was pretty terrible…" Neogear sighed.
"Well, I think that's a lovely way to end this horrendous night." Noire said with a bright smile. "We'll be going back home now. Enjoy your night, Vert."
With that said, the Goddesses and their sisters left her room and left Vert all alone to wallow in her misery.
… Which lasted for all of five seconds before Chika stepped in after them, sporting a glare of her own.
"I told you this was going to happen, but look what happens when you don't listen. Of course Shares were going to go to the Goddesses who never got naked before." Chika sighed. "Now we have even more paperwork than usual ahead of us. Thanks, by the way."
"Just end my misery now…" Vert whined.
Chika shook her head. "Sorry, but I need you alive to sign documents."
"Ugh…"
