Days pass and there is no contact between Peeta and I. I wish I could just go and see him but I don't know what I'd say to make him understand that it's not his fault. I need to clear my head so I decide it is finally time to go into the woods again to see if I can seek out any sort of answers.

I walk over the old chain link fence that's been dead since the night of the bombing, when Gale and the residents of twelve tore it down to escape the fires. The woods are no longer warm and welcoming to me but eerie and cold. I walk around for a while and I finally find the familiar spot when Gale and I would meet. Just looking around here rips me apart. To think of the hours we spent here. Laughing, talking, and ranting about the Capitol and their despicable ways. It makes me sad to think about Gale. To know that it was his bomb that killed my little sister. The memories get too much so I decide to go on and I look for some food to gather. I find the pond where my father first showed me the Katniss tubers and how to collect them. As I gather them now I hear the whistle of a mockingjay through the trees. Memories of Rue hit me like a ton of bricks. I whistle the four note tune she taught me in my first games and a choir of these wonderful birds start to sing. As soon as I do I realise this was a bad idea. I curl up in a ball just like when the jabberjays started their deadly chorus in the Quarter Quell. When they finally stop singing I force myself to get up and I start the half an hour walk back to the meadow. I've had enough for today.

Just as I come to the edge of the meadow I see the bright yellow flower, that after today's events just makes me worse than I already am. I reach down and pluck it from the grass and walk back into town with silent tears trickling down my face. I run into Greasy Sae on the way back to the house and not wanting to have a conversation I run away quickly. I turn the corner going into Victors Village while wiping tears from my eyes and BAM. I run right into Peeta knocking us both over and dropping my beautiful primrose.

Seeing I'm upset Peeta takes me back to the house and carries me upstairs to my room. I burst into floods of tears and telling him everything about the trip to the woods. He just holds me and doesn't bother to tell me "it will all be ok" because he knows it won't? I know it won't. We're both damaged beyond repair and there is no denying it. That's why when I start to think about all the things we've been through together I'm glad it's Peeta who is here with me instead of my mother or Gale. Because they would never be able to understand what it is like to be scarred by your past like Peeta and I are. The games change you in a way you would never expect. No one who comes out alive is the same as when they went in. And nothing can change that.

Eventually when I'm cried out I drift off in the comfort of Peeta's arms, having a peaceful sleep for once. I wake up the next morning embarrassed for my breakdown. I shouldn't have let him see me like that. He has enough problems to deal with.

"Do you want some breakfast?" he asks.

I politely decline and go for a shower. When I go down to the front room he is still there.

"Are you going to be ok by yourself Katniss?" I don't really know how to answer.

"Peeta, when was the last time either of us was ok?" I reply sarcastically.

"I suppose your right." We sit in silence for a few minutes. "I want to be here for you Katniss. You're a mess and I don't want you to do anything stupid, because if you did I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing that I was aware you were feeling this way."

He is starting to sound like the old Peeta again. Where did this come from? Even so, I'm still annoyed that he thinks I'm pathetic enough to take my own life. Believe me, I've considered it but the thought of all those people who died for me's efforts going to waste put me off the thought.

"I'm not going to do anything stupid Peeta. Can you please just go. I don't want to talk about this." I know I shouldn't treat him this way after he was so kind to me last night but I'm not in the mood to talk it all through again.

"Sorry Katniss but I'm staying right here." He gets a sketch pad out of his bag and starts to draw.

He's trying to be helpful but it is going more towards annoying now. I decide to let him do what he wants so I go upstairs to read while he sketches. He can sit there all day if he likes but I'm not going to go down just to entertain him.

He does sit there all day and eventually falls asleep on the couch. Seeing he has given up, I go to bed too. Only to be woken up by the same horrible nightmare that visits me every night since Prims death. I wake up screaming for her to run and I find Peeta's warm arms there to rock me back to sleep. Just before I fall asleep I look over to the window ledge in the corner of the room and see the sunny yellow primrose in a glass all on its own. It's then when I decide to give Peeta a chance.