A/N: Here is the second chapter! This one covers the finale pretty thoroughly. You don't want to know how long I spent getting the quotes from the episode correct. I found this necessary, despite the fact that it may seem repetetive. Throughout the episode, Brennan is struggling with how to tell him, and I wanted to express this before moving on with the plot.
And on that subject, this story does indeed have a plot. I spent a good portion of the past week planning it out, and it will be a case-fic with a great deal of personal angst tied in. Murder, mystery, and danger... just what I love to write, haha. I hope you will enjoy reading it just as much.
I can't promise regular updates, because I am not ahead in my writing, but I will try very hard to give you all one chapter every Thursday, hoping to fill some of the void where Bones should be. With any luck (and some planning on my part) this story will be able to last it's way through the summer months until the hiatus is over. No promises, though. I still don't know how long it will work out to be, once it's typed.
Still don't own them. Enjoy the chapter!
Chapter 2
May 26th, 2011
"Angela says she's going to have her baby today," Brennan commented as they walked up the lane. She pulled her gloves on, eyeing the pieces of human that awaited them among the pins at the end. She had never bowled very much, and yet it felt odd to be walking on the lanes. A taboo, almost, and she could feel an anthropological connection that she decided against explaining to Booth. It sounded, even in her head, too much like fact-giving. And it was still too soon after Nigel-Murray's loss to open those wounds.
"She's been saying that every day for two weeks," Booth pointed out.
"Well, mathematically speaking, the chances of her being right increase every day," she half-murmured, stepping forward with quicker strides to get to the body. She crouched down, and pushed away thoughts of Angela's impending delivery. There were also plenty of statistics that explained how things could go horribly wrong in child-birth, not to mention the already present fears among the team for the child's eyesight.
Murder needed to be her focus right now, and solving this case. Whoever this was, they deserved a name and they deserved justice. No matter how distracting her personal life was.
The victim's sex came quickly, despite the dismembered and gooey state of the remains, and she announced that he was a male.
Out back, climbing among the pin-setters, she kept her focus on explaining what happened to the man, not on Booth's proximity. A part of her still desperately wanted to just announce it to him, and get it out there. Every minute in his presence that was spent with her knowing and him completely out of the loop... was killing her.
It was like she was suffocating.
She wished he would stop looking at her, or talking to her, or interacting with her in any capacity. It would make her feel a lot more relaxed, in fact, if she wasn't near him at all right now.
Thankfully, they split up after the FBI squad came in to package things up for the Jeffersonian, with Booth returning to follow up on things at the Hoover, and her going back to the lab.
And then, as if fate really had it out for her, the next call he placed to her told her that she was going to have to interact with not only him... but also her father. The two people most likely to see something wrong with her. That, and the very last person she wanted to tell of her pregnancy happened to be her father. She knew he had no say in her life, and that he seemed to approve of Booth on some level... but still, she didn't want him to know.
Not yet.
When Angela called, her nerves got the best of her. She was already on edge about being pregnant herself, and having her overly-pregnant friend calling had her thoughts very far off of the murder case that she was trying to distract herself with... and very much attached to the personal life she was trying to escape from.
But when they began to speak of ways to hasten labor, and her fears came very near to bubbling over, she cut herself off, thankful that she had actually arrived at the Diner so she wouldn't have to add Angela to the list of people she was lying to.
Although, by not telling her, she was lying by omission as well, wasn't she?
Either way, she ended the call far more quickly than she would have liked, knowing that the longer she interacted... the more likely she would be to tell Angela everything in one breath and beg her for advice.
Angela is pregnant. She has her own concerns. She doesn't need yours as well, she reminded herself.
Max being in a wheelchair had not been on her list of concerns, but it certainly took the lead the moment her eyes landed on him. And good old Max brushed it off as nothing. Trust him to kill people for merely threatening her, but then not think she'd be worried when he showed up severely injured in some way she couldn't yet assess.
She knew he was getting older, but this... was not expected.
And not okay.
Her guilt over not wanting to tell him instantly doubled.
Which was the only reason she stayed resolutely silent when her father admitted that he had been sleeping with a woman her age. She would never have said it, even in the protests she wanted to voice, but the very idea just... bothered her. She suspected it would have bothered Booth as well, if he was in her shoes.
"Alright, we'll just talk to everyone he bowled against," Booth was saying when she tuned back into the conversation.
"No, no, no, no, no..." Max interrupted as Booth started to stand up. "Here's the thing. It's a tournament. And you're not going to get these people to talk to you if it's only gonna lead to more questions."
"But the first forty-eight hours of a murder investigation are crucial," Brennan pointed out, frowning in frustration. Her father was telling them that they weren't going to be able to get any answers, and she didn't like the sound of that.
"Yeah," Booth murmured in agreement.
"Well, you're a bowler aren't you?" Max asked, gesturing to Booth. She was lost at once, but Booth was nodding.
"Yeah. Yeah, I bowl; high two-eighties."
Max made a sound, and Brennan glanced between them, confused. "What does that mean?"
"It means he's good." He leaned forward. "So why not go in undercover? Come on, you could take my place with the Thunderballs."
At once, Brennan's interest was peaked. But her natural response came first. "But you just said they won't talk."
"Yeah, but they love to gossip," Max insisted. "I mean, what do you think bowlers are doing when they're not actually bowling?"
"Ah, I get it... get 'em to say something... during the tournament... I'm liking this."
"I love undercover," she said at once, feeling that she needed her opinion to be heard. This was what she needed, right here. How better to find out Booth's opinion, then while they were in character? Then... she could decide how to tell him the truth. "What'll I be?"
"You can be... my girlfriend," Booth said, turning to grin in her direction. She couldn't help but return the expression, feeling a warmth spread through her.
"Fine," she said quickly, beaming back at him. He was making it easy for her, but she hadn't expected anything else. They always went undercover as a couple. "Um, but if Angela goes into labor, we have to pick a fight so that I can be there to catch the baby."
"I will get you there," Booth said eagerly, the laugh lines in the corners of his eyes crinkled up and his brown gaze sparkling. "Hell or high water!"
Max was looking at them strangely, and she felt her stomach clench uncomfortably. He saw something. Suspected something.
"What?" Booth asked, sensing Max's unasked question hanging in the air.
"I don't know... something's weird here. You're-you're almost... polite to each other. What is it? You're having a fight?"
"No," Brennan said quickly, "I just... really, really want to be there when Angela's baby is born."
"Right," Booth cut in, rescuing her before Max could figure it out. Not that Booth knew the favor he was pulling. All he knew was that he wanted them out of there and moving forward with the case. And she had to say that she felt the same, albeit with a bit more urgency involved. "So, how soon before I become a Thunderball?"
Max raised his eyebrows, but he still looked suspicious as the waitress came by to give them their check.
Booth got up to sort out an issue with the check—clearly deciding that he was the one paying despite her start of an objection—and she was left alone with her father.
"What's going on there?" he asked, leaning forward with a twinkle in his eyes.
"Nothing," she said firmly. And it wasn't a lie. There really wasn't anything happening between them. Her heart panged at the reminder.
"No... no, Tempe, I can see when something's changed, and that... that was change, right there. I know, I know... I don't see you as often as I'd like, and I'm not always in the loop..."
"Clearly you're keeping busy," she commented with a raised eyebrow, her eyes dropping to the wheelchair again.
"You'd like her," he said insistently. "I should introduce you."
"Dad, I'm thirty-four."
He opened his mouth and then shut it again, not coming up with a response.
"I'm sorry if it bothers you," he said at last. She almost rolled her eyes in disbelief, but then Booth had returned, and he helped her to her feet before leading the way out with a hasty goodbye tossed over the shoulder to Max.
~BxBxBxBxBxB~
She would have preferred going as Tony and Roxie, but she did have to admit that Buck and Wanda seemed to fit these rolls more suitably. And she had no complaints about holding onto Booth's arm as they walked into the bowling alley.
And then there was the large ring sitting on her finger.
Her idea, but still... Booth's enthusiasm hadn't hurt. He seemed more than happy to switch their undercover identities from merely dating to engaged.
For the most part, it went smoothly. They got into the groove of the team, she began to understand their team and their opponents, and she got to admire Booth's rather impressive skills. He had never talked much about bowling with her before, but it was clear he had a passion for it. She wondered if it was one of those things that Pops had gotten him into. It seemed like it would be.
The last time they'd been to a bowling alley, they hadn't gotten a chance to get invested like this. They had been busy busting the owner for abusing his wife and killing a teenage boy. Then, she hadn't liked the view she had been given.
In this light, though, she saw what drew Booth in. The success, the skill, the excitement, the teamwork that inspired a sense of camaraderie and competition... it was all fascinating.
But beyond cheering him on, she didn't get much chance to talk to him. Everyone else was around, and the two of them were forced to separately, silently, carry out their own observations, looking for any indications of motive or suspects.
At Max's insistence that they act more like a couple—and his words reminded her of something Angela would probably have said, were she there—she saw a look cross Booth's face, though. And it made up for not getting the chance to talk to him, because he motioned for her to come closer, and she gladly accepted the kiss on her cheek.
She was left wondering, though, if he felt in-character, or if he was doing what he was doing... for other reasons. The way she was.
As she was heading back from her conversation with Hercules, her phone rang.
Angela calling.
"Ange?" she answered, her voice going up in pitch without her consent.
"Hodgins, it's Hodgins," the entomologist's nearly hysterical voice informed her. "She told me to call you, I'm parking the car... damn it! There are no damn spaces..."
"It's happening?" Brennan asked, shock seeping in. It was one thing to be waiting for it. It was another for it to actually occur. A million worries suddenly crashed over her, and she thought of all the things she hadn't gotten a chance to tell her friend. Last minute advice, reassurances... and what about their friendship? Had she ever told Angela how much she meant to her, how much she had changed her life?
Her best friend didn't even know that she was pregnant.
"Yes, yes, it's happening!" Hodgins shouted. She heard a horn blare. "She wanted you to know, but not to come... it could still be awhile, but she insisted that you be told right away... move your ass, jerk!"
The horn blared again.
"Tell her that... that I love her, and we'll be there as soon as we can be. We won't miss it, I promise. Just... make sure she knows that. Please."
"Yeah, yeah, I'll tell her." A door slammed, and it was clear he'd finally found a spot. "We'll talk to you in a bit; they're still working on the case over at the lab. I'm heading in."
The line went dead without a farewell, but she wasn't bothered. Hodgins was clearly in the state of panic that Angela had told her he was going to get himself into the moment it happened. Angela was rarely wrong, and it appeared she'd been spot-on this time around.
"They're at the hospital," she informed Booth in a low murmur as she took her seat back next to him. His eyebrows shot up.
"Whoa, so it's actually... now?"
"Yes," she said heavily, her eyes roving across the bowling alley. "We need to solve this," she said with a sigh.
"We will, don't worry. We've got it all under control, Wanda."
~BxBxBxBxBxB~
As the day went on, it became harder to keep herself in the crime-solving mode. Between her fears for Angela, who was now beginning labor, and her own pregnancy... paying attention was becoming near impossible.
And Amber wasn't helping matters.
She had never been the type to believe in such things, but for some reason... she thought she was going to have a daughter. It was completely irrational. The baby's sex wasn't even determined yet. It wasn't even a baby. It wasn't even a fetus. And yet, she had a feeling about it, that she could not shake.
It didn't bother her, though. What did bother her... was the fact that she was certain she was not going to be a good parent. She had tried to believe she would be a good mother, that she could be a role-model and a teacher and a caring, doting figure in a child's life... but somehow she knew it wouldn't work that way.
And seeing Amber behave the way she behaved, so free-willed and violent and insulting, made her hurt with just the thought of her daughter turning out like that. What if she couldn't be the mother that her child needed? What if she messed everything up?
Her own childhood came rushing back to her, and she ached with the reminder that she couldn't remember most of it. Because her parents had disappeared. They were criminals, who had robbed banks while she was sleeping at night, and they had abandoned her to keep her safe. They hadn't been the parents they had set out to be, and she was who she was today because of it. But was that enough? Was she... happy with the results, when she knew that she could have avoided years of abuse and horror if they had only done better by her?
What if she... turned out like them? What if she... abandoned her child?
The thought was horrifying, and she immediately rejected its possibility in her future... but it still nagged at her. She hated psychology. Despised it with a passion. And yet... she was isolated, and she had grown up lonely and fending for herself, and Booth hadn't been wrong about the 'weight of the world' on her shoulders. She couldn't deny any of that. Couldn't deny that it held its roots in what she had suffered during foster care and the years that had followed.
Her mother hadn't wanted to abandon her, either.
She shivered at the idea, and bit her lip. Booth cast her a glance filled with confusion and concern, but he was called to get up for his turn, and he settled for giving her hand a quick squeeze before standing up.
When he returned, she was fine again, and he didn't ask.
She had told him that if they ever had a child... she wouldn't turn out like Amber.
And he had said that it would never ever happen.
She didn't know what to make of that.
Had he been in character, like before, or was he denying the possibility for them, ever? After all, they had been alone, at the time. But he'd called her Wanda, too.
She closed her eyes again, and breathed out a slow, steadying breath.
What if she had been right, and Booth didn't want any of this, least of all with her? What if he was horrified with the truth, as it was implied by his statement only a short while ago?
She could picture him offering her money for child support, and a wave of emotion hit her so strongly that she almost didn't hide it in time. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes, and she blinked furiously, turning her head down and letting her hair fall in her face to shield herself from anyone that might be looking—especially Booth or her father.
Suddenly, she didn't think she should tell Booth at all. Maybe if she waited a few months, while it was still not obvious... and then she could take a sabbatical from the Jeffersonian until she thought of a better excuse.
But she knew she was being desperate, and that it would never work. She was just seeking an escape, no matter how irrational.
The ground was falling out beneath her, though. What else was she supposed to do?
~BxBxBxBxBxB~
The waiting room was warm, and she felt uncomfortable. Overly exposed, out of her undercover persona. Booth sat nearby, his foot tapping on the floor. His nerves, though, were nothing compared to hers.
Internally, she was a jumble of emotions so tangled that no one could ever hope to straighten them out, least of all her. From down the hallway, she could hear the muffled cries from her best friend, and with each one she felt herself winding tighter. She clutched the stuffed bunny to her stomach, feeling self-conscious and freaked out.
That would be her, in nine months. She would be the one in the hospital room, fighting the contractions and screaming bloody murder while her team paced the waiting room. Would Booth be out here, though, or right by her side, holding her hand?
The wait was terrifying, and she couldn't imagine how it must feel from Angela's point of view. Or from Hodgins' for that matter. The soon-to-be-father hadn't made an appearance, and she wasn't sure whether or not to take that as a positive sign. From what she had heard, the fathers often were sent from the room to fetch ice chips, or simply to pace in the hallway when the worst of it was happening.
When Hodgins finally emerged, though, everything melted away. All her fears for Angela disappeared as she took in the small form in Jack's arms, and the huge smile on his face. And with them... went her fears for herself. There was something of a miracle here. And it swept her up in its arms and carried her with the others as they gathered around, cooing and gasping and offering congratulations over and over again.
Michael Staccato Vincent Hodgins.
It was a perfect name, and her vision blurred briefly when Hodgins announced it. Vincent would have liked that, she thought. He would have liked that a great deal.
But it was still Angela that she needed to see, with an urge she couldn't control. She needed to talk to her, about more than just this. That part could wait. Seeing her, though, and reassuring herself that she was fine, that they were still who they were despite all these changes... that could not wait.
"Hi," Angela said tiredly, a warm smile spreading across her face as Brennan appeared.
"Hi," Brennan echoed, her eyes sparkling as she moved forward to stand beside the bed. "What was it like?" she asked, tilting her head to the side.
"It was wonderful," Angela sighed, and the honesty in her voice blew Brennan away. "And beautiful..." She paused, and Brennan felt the powerful emotion from her friend eating away her fears about her own pregnancy. Angela had no idea of it, but she was being a better friend than Brennan could ever have been for her. She wished she could repay her, someday, somehow. With more than the stuffed rabbit. "It was a dream."
She nodded, blinking a few times as she lifted the toy up and held it towards her friend.
Angela laughed, her smile infectious. "Look at this guy..."
"It's from Booth, too," Brennan explained.
"Thank you," Angela murmured, beaming.
All Brennan seemed able to do was smile back in return. She wanted to say it. Wanted to grow on the moment of joy, because Angela would not judge. Angela would be thrilled without a doubt.
But she just nodded again, biting her tongue and rolling it between her teeth. This was Angela's moment. And when she finally told her friend... it needed to be after she told Booth. And then... Angela would be just as thrilled as she would be if she told her right this instant.
She was reliable like that.
"I love you, Ange," she said softly, the words coming out of nowhere. But she didn't regret saying them.
"I love you, too, sweetie," Angela answered in kind, her eyes crinkling in the corners. "You're going to be an amazing god-mother to my little guy. I know you are."
Brennan laughed warmly.
Angela always knew what to say. Always.
~BxBxBxBxBxB~
"They looked so happy," Brennan said, as they walked up the sidewalk. They were no longer undercover. They were just Booth and Brennan, walking together for the first time in a while. They hadn't had a chance to talk like this, just the two of them, in quite some time.
Fear weighed down on her. This was the opportunity, to tell him. To just... get it all out there.
And he'd seemed so happy, when they had all stood around with the baby in Hodgins' arms at the center. He seemed like he might be more open to the idea. But she never had been a good judge of these things.
"Well, they had a baby," Booth said, as if that explained everything.
"They're whole lives have changed... you'd think they'd be a little more apprehensive." Like me. I can't do this. This change... this change is terrifying, Booth. I wish you could understand.
"Well, y'know, having a baby... that's a good thing," he said. And he was smiling, and he was speaking honestly, right from the heart like he had always taught her. She could see it in his face, and the way he was walking, that he meant every word. He thought having a baby was a good thing.
But with her? Was it... a good thing if it was with her?
And could he possibly love her ever again?
"You... you really think that?"
"Yeah, it's a great thing... what?" he stopped, sensing her hesitation, and turned to face her on the sidewalk. The sudden face-to-face threw her off, and she opened her mouth and closed it again. Her heart was racing; surely he could hear it. "Oh, come on, Bones... look. The baby... the baby's fine. They had a healthy baby, alright? They love each other; this is the happiest day of their lives." She was just staring at him, and she knew he was going to ask. She knew he was going to see that something was off, that she was hiding something. That she had been lying to him all this time; keeping a secret. "Okay?" he finished after a pause, his brow furrowed as his eyes ran over her face.
When she didn't speak, her mouth opening and then shutting itself once again without so much as letting out a sound, his frown only deepened with more concern. Clearly, he thought his words were alleviating her concerns. He just didn't understand that those weren't her concerns. Her concerns were about something else entirely.
"What?" he asked again.
"I'm..." she started, her voice faltering and a soft, nervous laugh slipping out as she halfway shook her head. "I'm pregnant," she said at last, watching his face helplessly for a reaction. But there was nothing. His expression didn't change, and his eyes stayed locked on hers, just confused and dark, trying to understand. "You're the father," she forced herself to say at last, into the silence.
And then she waited. Waited for it all to come crashing down. Everything that she had worked away during the case, and in Angela's hospital room, came back in a flood. Every fear raced through her mind in that instant, from him leaving her to him hating her, until he did the very last thing she was expecting.
He smiled. His eyes widened in awe and they... they sparkled. She had never seen him smile like that. Like... he was happier than she had ever seen him before. A hesitant smile pulled at the corners of her lips, as she hardly dared to believe that this was how he felt. It was written all over his face, long before he said anything.
But in the end, it wasn't what he said next. It was what he did next. Because suddenly he was crushing her to him in the most powerful embrace she had ever been in. It wasn't even close to a guy hug, and she closed her eyes and clutched her arms around his back, returning the hug with a fervor of pure relief.
"Oh my God," he was whispering, over and over again, his breaths stirring her hair.
And then he pressed a kiss to the top of her head and held her even closer, and she wanted to just cry. Because she had never felt so happy in the face of such unrivaled terror, and it was overwhelming.
He pulled back, and the loss was startling right up until he cupped her face in both of his hands.
"You're serious, Bones?" he asked, that amazing smile still growing on his face.
"Without a doubt," she answered, tears pricking the corners of her eyes.
He didn't hesitate. He leaned forward and captured her lips with his, and at once she felt the love she had managed to forget, the love that he had shared the night outside the Hoover, the love he had shown her the night they had spent together. It was tender but strong at the same time, and he held her there with him as she turned into his touch and clutched at him all the more fiercely.
This was what she wanted. This was everything that she wanted.
"We're going to have a baby," he whispered, his forehead pressed to hers and his lips only centimeters away from hers. "You and me..."
She nodded helplessly, and then they were lost again, barely aware that they were in the middle of a city sidewalk, barely aware of the cars driving past.
None of it mattered.
Only this.
I loved your feedback on the last chapter, and I'm so glad a lot of you are following this story. I hope to continue to hear your opinions as we navigate through the rest of this; I am eager to see all of your reactions to some of the big plot-shockers I have lined up ahead of us.
