He knew it was time. He couldn't hold back anymore secrets from her.
James sent her a message asking if they could talk in private. He just hoped it didn't sound like a date.
And one night, she called him up.
He'd never been in Shepard's quarters, but man, was it huge compared to where he slept!
"Hey man - how's it going?"
"Good James - you?"
"Good, Good"
He could hear the nerves in his voice. Why? He didn't have anything TO be nervous about. James scanned the room to avoid it.
"Wow, so this is what I got to look forward to when I get my own command..."
"You want your own ship?" Shepard asked
It sounded like there was a hint of disappointment in her voice. He needed to keep cool, but he couldn't disappoint her.
"Yeah, maybe one day, when I'm old and can't fight worth shit anymore."
"You just come up here to make fun of your commander?"
Now there was some coyness in her voice.
"Sorry, Lola. I guess maybe I got something on my mind, and I-I want to get your opinion on something."
She crossed her arms.
"Shoot."
Why was this so hard? Was it BECAUSE it was her?
"...what'd you do when they asked to join the N7 program? I mean, was it a no-brainer for you, or did you think about it before accepting?"
"... the N7 program is a big deal, but it's also a big commitment."
James was a little shocked, but felt a bit relieved.
"I hear that."
"You get the best training, best equipment, best assignments..."
"And they expect the best in return."
"Yes they do."
Shepard became curious.
"Why you asking?"
Nervously, he explained how someone had tracked him down, and sent him a request to join the program... the same day the Reapers attacked...
"You don't sound too thrilled..."
He then proceeded to explain more details about the Fehl Prime incident, and how he really screwed it up... and his doubts about his own abilities...
"You can't blame yourself for being put in a tough situation... and if you were promoted, something must've gone right."
"Sure, but..."
"If you'd have saved them all, would things have worked out better?"
"I... I don't know..."
Wow, that was heavy. WOULD things have gone better...? He could have saved Captain Toni, and the colonist... but the Collectors would have either killed him, or escaped before his squad could send Intel on them.
"I don't think so..."
"The right choices is usually not the easy one."
"Yeah..."
Which made another decision pop into his head... should he tell her his feelings... or continue to be Commander-Solider relationship... Lola was, after all, his commanding officer...
He tried to push the thought away, even though it continued to break through his thoughts. How DID he feel about her? It was pretty clear he liked her, but... was there something MORE?
James tried avoiding his own question, by asking her a different one.
"D-Did you know that before you joined the N7?"
"Yeah. That's why I was asked. And that's why they asked you.
There is not a single N7 that hasn't sacrificed, either themselves, or their soldiers, at some point."
"So you think I should accept?"
"Assuming we survive this, that's a no-brainer. You're a damn good solider, Vega. Don't waste that opportunity."
"I'll think about it. Seriously. If you don't mind... maybe don't mention this to anyone."
"Of course not."
"Gracias. I'd better get back to the hanger... things are getting a little... "too soft" for me."
Shepard laughed.
"The bed's a lot harder than it looks."
"Are you flirting with me, Lola?"
"Maybe..."
James could feel his cheeks get red. Suddenly, he was talking without realizing what he was saying.
"Lola... I... have something else to say."
If she had cat ears, they probably would have perked up.
"I know you're my commanding officer, but... I... I think... I think I've come to care for you... more than a commander, more than a solider, more than even a friend..."
"James...?"
"I... really like you. A lot."
When he finally realized what he said, James blushed and tried to coolly walk out the room.
"I am SO sorry! I was just talking and... just... forget it..."
Shepard stopped him at the door.
"Did you mean it?" she asked, with a very serious face.
"... maybe?"
She gave him a smile of, 'don't play dumb, mister.'
"... yes. But I understand if you wanna..."
She touched his chest with her hand. James's body shuttered from it, and it slowly moved down his chest till at last, she lifted it right at his belt.
"I wanna what, Mr. Vega?"
"Lola, I'm being serious. I... don't wanna joke around. But you are my commanding officer, so I will understand..."
"I WAS being serious, sir."
"But... you and Garrus...?"
"I cared greatly for him, but we knew there was a great chance we wouldn't make it out of the Collector's base alive.
But you, James... I got to know beyond the threats of death. And not just because you're human... but... I feel very comfortable around you. Like you won't judge me, for being me. I always felt I had to be someone strong around him. I like feeling like I don't always have to be a solider... a Commander, around you..."
James lost all resistance.
He grabbed her around her waist, and kissed her with a kiss of sheer longing. She responded back by leaning into the kiss softly, then he calmed down and followed her rhythm. She was passionate, and he could feel in this kiss that she was being serious.
Shepard locked the door before continuing to kiss him.
