A/N Warning! This chapter contains sexual content and talk of suicide. If this bothers or triggers you do not read it. Thank You


It was what Naruto guessed withdrawal felt like. Which he knew he was being a drama king but dammit he was feeling hot and bothered, irritable and he found himself chewing on his lip most of the evening trying not to bail on his two friends to go see Shikamaru so he could just touch the man. It was Sakura's fault. All her doing after asking about Shikamaru, how it even happened and what exactly happened behind the closed door. Even now he was trying to keep it dick calm while only wanting to experience what else Shikamaru wanted to do to him. They both teased and then released him from the dinner to go and find the man. He was walking down the street and wondered how it had gone with the elders. The entire situation was so exhausting, it shouldn't be this hard to start a relationship, not when both felt the same way. Right?

Does he go to the compound? Home? He shook his head and headed home.

Sitting in the apartment twirling his thumbs was driving him insane. He paced about nervously before catching himself, when he did he chose to clean. His place had never been so clean and tidy before. Naruto was not a tidy person. He was left to his own devices as a child and the discipline he'd have learnt with a parent he didn't pick up. After Iruka took him under his wing he was cleaner, dishes didn't pile up, food didn't expire and get left until it smelled, those chores that keep the home clean were always done, but tidy? No, he never stuck to putting his clothes away neatly, or making his bed, or straightening out the throw on the couch. Or picking up the books he read. But with his nerves everything had been picked up, cleaned up, straightened out, he even had a laundry cycle in. The sound of rain had him outright sulking like a child once he looked to the window and saw it was pouring it down.

Great. Chances of seeing him anytime soon are low. He was exhausted and his patients was gone, running back and fourth to Suna, Yoshina, Shikamaru and the elders and then the heavy talk with the team hit him all at once. He just needed to know what he is in for. The waiting was just getting to him.

"Naruto?"

I really needed to remember to lock the damned door, he thought rolling over and away from the voice. The chuckle that came from behind him had his eyes flying open, rolling over and grinning like a moron for all but two seconds before his jaw dropped. Shikamaru was soaking wet! Strands of his hair stuck to his head and neck, a lot of it falling loose on his neck. He was in civilian clothing that left little to the imagination as the thin fabric clung to his body. Damn Naruto thought as though he hadn't already seen him naked only a few days ago. He finally heard the rain and his brain switched on

"You could have waited for the rain to stop" Naruto smiled. He was returned with a tired but amused grin

"Three hours was my limit" Shikamaru shrugged. He couldn't tell how it had gone but something heavy was in his eyes, as if something didn't go to plan and it had Naruto getting angry. He wrapped his arms around the man and rubbed his back

"Want to get a shower and some dry clothes?" He offered before jumping into the issue at hand. He was dying to know but Shikamaru would be internally moaning about his cold wet clothes and how uncomfortable it would be sitting there talking with them on. He'd never be focused on the conversation.

"Some dry clothes will do" he grumbled and Naruto nodded releasing him to get up and get some dry clothes and a new top for himself too. Contrary to popular belief Naruto did own clothes that weren't orange, it was a dark blue top and some grey joggers he pulled out for Shikamaru and just a plain white top for himself. They changed in silence and though it was a comfortable one Naruto didn't like it. Silence around people had him on edge, because it was always so quiet when he was home. It always had been, so when being around people and there was noise and talking. Whenever it became quiet he had this uncontrollable need to fill it. Whether it became annoying or not, he spent all his own time in silence he could stand it, if it was silent with people he felt like he was just at home. Even now, years later when he was no longer as alone as he was, and his own silence wasn't as suffocating. Kakashi even made sure the office window was open on quiet days so the sound of the village filtered in just to keep him at ease.

They sat on the bed opposite each other legs crossed, frowning Naruto took the larger hand weaving their fingers together. This made the silence a bit easier.

"How'd it go?" He finally asked gently, Shikamaru never liked to beat around the bush, whether it was necessary to be harsh or something uncomfortable he got to the point, so he'd ask right out as it was likely the forefront of both their minds.

"As expected" he shrugged frowning "chaos, insults, threats"

"Threats?" Naruto asked narrowing his eyes as his muscles coiled up ready to fight and Shikamaru almost smiled

"Not physical threats" he assured Naruto

"Any threat against you is going to give the same reaction" he deadpanned and the older boy nodded "what did they say to you?"

"Basically they will push me out of the role of the Head of the Nara clan. At first they tried to insinuate that the Hokage was trying to get power over us, but the younger generation nipped that in the bud. But apparently if I choose to be with you and not produce an hier they'll make sure someone else takes the role"

He didn't seem overly bothered by that, but he still seemed off.

"What aren't you saying?" Naruto asked

That look in his eyes came back

"Aren't you worried about the risks?" He asked and Naruto frowned at that because the only risk he ever worried about before the war was Shikamaru having a target on his head if he admitted to anyone what he meant to him. Akatsuki, mobbing villagers, his reputation. All of it would have been a downfall for Shikamaru and though he knew if Shimamaru had felt the same that wouldn't have mattered in the slightest.

"I have no enemies I worry will hurt you anymore" he said and then his frown deepened "are you worried someone will come for you?"

"No, Naruto not risks to me" he explained Naruto was confused, did Shikamaru have someone who wanted his weakness? That made little sense since he nearly got married. The man opposite him sighed and dropped his chin to his chest "they implied..." he trailed off then looked up "that if we do this you won't become Hokage, that the village won't take kindly to you ruining my clan. That the progress you made to be accepted could be ruined. And that as one of the few Uzumaki's left and as the possible successor to the Hokage you too are required to give hiers" he looked a little scared and Naruto shuffled forward to get closer holding his hand tighter

"Kakashi wouldn't stop me becoming Hokage for this. Do you see him trying to make any mini Kakashi's? Or Grandma, she is the direct decendant of Hashirama and she told the Elders they could kiss her ass if they thought they could make her have a child. Plus my clan is scattered all over, some are even here and reside in the Uzumaki compound, they have their kids and so on, hell even Karin. That isn't going to be a issue"

"Your parents alone are reason enough for the elders to wa-"

"It doesn't matter" he interrupted "and if the village turns on me my only concern is you and if that's the case your clan will likely win cause I won't let you live through that, but I really don't think they will"

"So you'd just walk away?" Shikamaru asked his face a mix of annoyance and surprise

"It's part of why I never said anything when we were kids" he shrugged "I don't want to be selfish at the expense of your happiness, you know. It wasn't worth it to me. It wasn't until the war... that I'd decided to try but obviously it wasn't the right time"

"And if it happened now? Knowing I feel the same you would still walk away?" He asked

Naruto didn't answer because honestly he didn't know for certain anymore. He knew Shikamaru would probably deal with being ostrisized much better than Naruto had, especially now as a adult too. And he knew Shikamaru wanted him possibly as much as he wanted Shikamaru.

"If it started to affect you. Yes" he decided was a good enough middle ground for his feelings on the matter.

"It wouldn't"

"Then what is that look for?" He asked desperately

"Because I don't want to be the reason your dream gets ripped from you, or why you go back to being a pariah. I'm also pretty pissed at the not so subtle threat they were clearly making"

"I told you. For you I'm up for a fight. If you still want this, having all the information you have, I want it too"

"Of course I do, I just walked away from a wedding, came out to my mother and pissed off most of my clan" he rolled his eyes "I wouldn't do that fo-" he cut off eyes going wide, and Naruto swears he stopped breathing.

"I wasn't doubting you" Naruto said feeling a little foolish and Shikamaru slowly looked at him

"Not that" he said dazed and blinked like he was coming back to the room.

"Then what?" Naruto asked concerned

"I want this and I really couldn't care less if they take my title. I worry about you" he said and Naruto nodded, he understood but figure it best not to interrupt right now "some of them are being supportive but I suppose we won't know until they decide. Either way, I want to make this official. I want to be with you" he put his arm around Naruto's waist and pulled him onto his legs "if you're sure you won't suffer" he specified

"I am 85% sure they're wrong" he whispered his heart pounding as his stomach filled with butterflies making him feel as though his insides were shaking slightly. He will always have that bit of doubt about his worth to the villagers. But most of the nerves was from Shikamaru, he had never seen him so intense...

"Good. I'm sorry I took so long" Shikamaru apologised taking Naruto's face in his right hand

"It had to be dealt with" Naruto whispered not trusting his voice and Shikamaru shook his head

"I love you, Naruto" his voice was doing that thing again that happened in the office and it took Naruto's breath away. Oh. Oh he was apologising for not saying it sooner.

"I love you, Shikamaru" Naruto smiled before capturing the man's lips with his own. It lasted for all but two seconds before Naruto was grinning against the perfect mouth. This was happening, and he couldn't control his stupid mouth to enjoy it. Effectively ruining the moment.

"What?" Shikamaru asked raising a brow and evidently just giving up on the kiss

"I'm just really happy, you know!" He laughed and Shikamaru rolled his eyes

"What a drag" he exaggerated and it had Naruto laughing leaning forward to put his head on Shikamaru's shoulder. Not entirely sure when his luck had turned around enough to lead him here.

Shikamaru wrapped his arms around Naruto and slid his hands up the shirt causing his skin to tingle.

"I missed you" Shikamaru whispered before pressing his lips to Naruto's head

"God I missed you too! I'm glad we don't go on missions often anymore" he responded and kissed his neck getting a little of the damp hair in his mouth. If they had to go on missions every other day right now Naruto wasn't sure his sanity would survive. Before Naruto could react his shirt was being pulled over his head. Smiling and ignoring the fact Shikamaru so easily switched the mood back he went to lean in and froze at the cool feeling around his neck stopping him from getting closer. Pouting at the shadow user and went to speak when another shadow clamped around his mouth a causing his dick to wake up as his heart pounded with the anticipation. Oh god, he thought as Shikamaru levelled him with eyes that demanded 'be quiet'

The air felt light as he focused on breathing properly but for some reason his nose wasn't helping him get enough. Soft, warm lips came to his neck as the man started to kiss and suckle his way down to his collarbone leaving marks before he took one of Naruto's nipples into his mouth a muffled gasp sounded loud in the silent room as Shikamaru gently bit it. Wanting to touch him Naruto thought better of it. Believing if he tried he would only be tied up by more shadows.

It was like he was testing Naruto's self control as if he didn't already know he had none. His nails ran down his torso and a shiver ran through him causing goosebumps to raise upon his skin. Fingers hooked on his band and he wasn't feeling patient enough for the god knows how long of teasing he's probably about to get. He'd been pent up all day and just wanted Shikamaru now. His pants were smoothly ripped off and as Shikamaru stood up to undress himself shadows took his wrists and pulled them behind his back, he was naked on his knees and watching the man undress. Fuck. Naruto groaned as he took Shikamaru in this time. Practically delirious with the build up of his emotions last time he didn't appreciate it. But now... he was watching as the shirt was throw on the floor first and seeing the abs the man had was enough to make Naruto swoon. Only the guys really knew how in shape Shikamaru truly was because of their times in the bath houses. But it had been good couple years and damn he had worked harder. Pulling down his pants and his fully erect dick stood to attention. Pulling on the shadows with the urge to reach for it and pleasure Shikamaru had them tightening and Shikamaru smirking down to him.

"Patients Naruto" he teased Naruto shook his head half glaring at the man. He came back onto the bed moving closer on his knees taking his own cock in his hands causing Naruto to whine. Once he was close he reached between Narutos legs Shadow binding his calfs to his thighs, before Naruto could move on from that Shikamaru pushed two fingers into Narutos tight hole as the blonde cried out at the surprised intrusion trying to sit up became futile as the shadows only allowed him to push up only a inch, which was the perfect time for Shikamaru to push in deeper as he did slow steady pumps on himself. Falling back onto his legs he had trapped Shikamaru's hand between his balls and the bed. He sat up again another inch higher and then Shikamaru moved in and out twisting his fingers into his prostate as he tensed against the sharp hit of the pleasure as the brunette relentlessly hit his spot. His legs were shaking from the awkward angle and his some how added to the pleasure. God this man only needs his hands, Naruto thought as he fell forward his head landing on the shoulder in front of him. Giving him a direct view of Shikamaru pleasuring himself as he pleasured Naruto. A third finger was added causing Naruto to moan shaking his head against the shoulder. The hand stopped pumping and moved to his own neglected dick. Taking it in hand the brunette began pumping the blonde and pushed down on the prostate causing the blonde to cry out and shake at the overwhelming pleasure from all over. His legs cramped from the pressure as he felt his orgasm nearing utter relief was within his reach and just before he could the man removed his hands and Naruto almost cried from the frustration of being denied. Growling against the man's neck he lifted his head and almost choked in his own tongue. Shikamaru had pulled his hair down and was looking at him with hooded eyes filled with nothing but lust his breathing was laboured and sweat was building on his head. Nothing had ever been more exotic to Naruto than the view in front of him now.

"I don't have the... patience either" Shikamaru huffed and Naruto felt that meant the teasing also. That he wanted to just have him as soon as possible. It was like he felt all the build up hit him and he nodded sitting up breaking the shadows as he pulled his wrists apart the others all dissapeared. Shikamaru's eyes widened in amazement as Naruto climbed on his lap wrapping his armed around his neck and kissing him desperately. His hand fisted the long locks. A soft moan came from the Nara as he took the Blondes hips into his hands and pulled him right up against him. Naruto sat up higher and pushed his hole against the weeping cock. Pulling away from the kiss he looked frown to see Shikamaru clenching his jaw. Once Naruto felt the head was in he pushed down quickly crying out as the burn of the practically un-lubed cock sheathed itself into his ass

"Fuck" Shimamaru grunted nails digging into Naruto's hips "Naruto" he breathed. Naruto began to move and the burn was still there but the more he moved the less painful and more pleasurable it became. But Shikamaru pushed him onto his back and stayed above and began pounding into him.

"Shika-" Naruto's voice sounded strangled as it cut off when his prostate was hit hard. Shikamaru took his lips as he poubned in hard catching all the moans coming from the blonds mouth. Naruto felt like he couldn't breath. He gripped into the man above him, his love, his lifeline. He'd live for this man for however long he wanted him. He'd die for him to keep him safe. He didn't care that made no sense because it was true. The build up was too much his teeth dug into the Nara's shoulder as his prostate was abused by the relentless thrusts being pounded into him. Shikamaru moaned and cried out as Naruto was about to come

"Fuck!" He growled out "Shikamaru!!"

"Naru..." Shikamaru gasped out using Naruto's hair to lift his head up Shikamaru clamped his other hand to the back of Naruto's neck and dug his nails in.

Naruto cried out as he came followed by Shikamaru with one hard thrust. His body fell in a heap onto Naruto and the blonde smiled looking at the side of his head as he held the man. Breathing still erratic they just lay there waiting to come down from the orgasms.

"we need to go shopping" Shikamaru announce and Naruto laughed nodding in agreement.

"I fucking love you" Naruto said holding him tighter "thank you" he sighed closing his eyes. He felt the man tense above him. A moment later Shikamaru pulled out of him and pushed himself up to look down on him.

"What are you thanking me for?" He asked

Naruto smiled up at him taking the beautiful face in his hands.

"I owe you a lot Shikamaru, I'm pretty sure if it weren't for you I'd be dead a few times over"

"Come on, we've all saved each other plenty"

"I'm not talking about work" Naruto said softly. That day in the mountains with Iruka and Kakashi, they had to him it was Shikamaru who had informed them. When he reached out a hand of friendship that day on the park, like he knew Naruto had given up and was at his limit When he walked into a villager abusing him, he had picked up a rock and threw it at his head and took Naruto to his safe space making sure he was okay. And that was just as children "I almost lost my life here in the village, a few times. Be from villagers, shinobi..." he trailed off shrugging deciding his almost attempted suicide wasn't needed to be known, or the fact two of their classmates had almost killed him "and you have worked hard to help me make my dream an actual reality. But right now, I'm thanking you for making a entirely different dream a reality, you understand?"

Shikamaru was looking down at him dumbfounded. Could Shikamaru's brain short circuit? Naruto wondered. Is that what's happening?

"Or?" He asked causing Naruto to frown "you said 'villager, shinobi' and stopped, there was a clear 'or' after that" he said Naruto smiled

"There was-"

"Do not lie to me" he hissed sitting up. Naruto sighed and sat up too

"Or myself" he said and felt like someone had punched him in the gut at the look of pain as tears welled in the other man's eyes as he shook his head slightly "I never..." he sighed and went back to sitting on his lap and letting the strong, safe arms envelope him in clear love and acceptance "I never tried. I thought about it a lot, but only once had I decided I was done and going to do it"

"When?" Shikamaru asked his voice breaking

"The night you became my friend, at the park"

"I remember"

"Everyone had avoided me, Kiba kicked me off the monkey bars breaking my ankle and yelled at me"

"Your ankle broke?!" Shikamaru half yelled

"It healed by time it got dark but yes, at least that's what it felt like, now I've actually had a broken ankle and a diagnosis to compare it to" he frowned "I had to guess back then. Anyway when all the parents came and that one man smacked me I decided I'd had enough. I was going to go to the forbidden..." he wondered if it was a good idea to reveal this bit but he didn't want to lie to him "Nara forest" the man tensed more and held him tighter. He could see his heart beating at his pulse point "and just let what happens happen... but then you came and gave me your hand, picked me up and asked if I was okay, if I needed anything and if you could be my friend. That was hope you gave me, hope things would get a little better and they did"

"I... didn't know" he put his head on the blondes "I'm so sorry"

"You have nothing to be sorry for. Like I said you're my dream come true"

"You've been mine too" he said softly "it's always been you" he whispered and pushed him down so they were laying down. Grabbing the blanket and putting it over them.

"We need to get cleaned up" Naruto whispered

"Five minutes" Shikamaru mumbled and Naruto just nodded and snuggled closer. What had this man love him he didn't know, and he was never going to question it. He didn't deserve him, he knew this but he'd be damned if he wasn't going to embrace him with eager open arms.


Thanks for all the likes and favourites this far guys! It really means a lot