Disclaimer: I do not and never will own InuYasha. Fin.
Author's Note: Thank you all so much for your support! I feel incredibly awful for the time I've made you wait for this chapter, and well… I'll explain why later. Just please know that I really do appreciate everything you guys have done for me, and with that… read on!
Chapter Five: Windmills
The villagers waited for him to give the word– to tell them to kill the strangely clad intruder.
The order never came.
He stared at her insipidly, giving no sign of recognition. His golden eyes looked emptier than she remembered, with a hollowness that she couldn't quite recall since the first time they had met.
"InuYasha…"
He turned away from her, towards the villagers, an angry scowl making its way to his face. "Which one of you thought it would be a fan-fucking-tastic idea to kill her again? I think I need my memory jogged."
The village men all took a step backwards despite the fact that they were already a way away from the hanyou, looking to each other and shouting blames. It had been many years since InuYasha had looked as surly as he sounded, and they dared not try his temper.
Noting their cowardice, InuYasha growled, making his way towards the villagers. "All right, fine! Don't wanna 'fess up, huh? That's just fine, but if I find out who the idiot that suggested that is, I promise I'll fucking slit his throat for what he said." His voice was low, menacing, and dripping with barely-suppressed fury. "Now get your sorry asses out of my sight! I'm not in the mood for spineless wimps like you all right now…"
Without a moment's hesitation, the villagers were speedily exiting the clearing in the forest, bumping into each other clumsily and trying to hurry themselves out. None wanted to fall victim to InuYasha's sudden rage.
They were all quickly gone and out of sight, leaving InuYasha alone with the presumed spy. He sighed before he turned back to her, his body seeming to lose the deftness in its movements, his shoulders slumping forward the smallest bit. His ears twitched backwards slightly when Kagome tried to readjust herself, and finally, he turned to her.
Maybe she had been expecting the same indifference he had offered her before; the same void in his gaze that left her feeling uneasy. Perhaps she had been readying herself for a bit of a rant from him– accusation or suspicion in his tone when he spoke to her. Whatever she had been expecting, however, it was certainly not at all anything like the man that stood before her.
He looked at her sadly, gently. His amber gaze pierced right through her, making her feel as though he could read her every thought– was able to reach even the deepest recesses of her soul. His somewhat weary appearance lent him an air of defeat, as though he had lost something he had tried so hard to find; as though the prize at the end of his quest was just beyond his grasp.
When he spoke, his voice was soft and understanding, and it was almost more than Kagome could handle. "I know you..." he trailed off, his words dying on his lips. He stared in that all too unsettling way of his, stilling whatever speech Kagome might have been able to conjure.
InuYasha seemed mesmerized by the sight of her, never so much as blinking. Hundreds of emotions flickered through his gaze too quickly for Kagome to decipher, and he finally spoke again, confusion evident in his tone. "I've smelled your scent before, seen your face in dreams… or memories… I can't even really be sure which." He was looking at her the whole time he spoke, and he lowered himself to the ground, sitting himself in front of her. "I know you, but I don't know how."
He paused, though his eyes never left hers. "Who are you?"
A lump rose in her throat, threatening to choke her, and she felt the warmth of the familiar prick behind her eyes. "I…" a tear slipped down her cheek as her eyes probed his, seemingly incapable of escaping his golden gaze. "I… m-my name is…"
He was still bound to the tree, his eyes glowing with hatred. He shot her a scathing glare before speaking, his tone dripping with venom. "Really Kikyou… I'm disappointed…"
Her patience finally snapped, and she picked herself up as quickly as humanly possible, her irritation on the verge of anger. "I don't know who this "Kikyou" is… except that she's not me!"
"Feh!" he scoffed, his golden stare cutting through her. "Do you expect me to believe that I wouldn't know the stench of the girl who…"As though something had suddenly hit him, he leaned a little closer to Kagome. "Hmm…" After a moment's pause, his eyes grew wide with astonishment. "You're… not her!
Still irritated, Kagome let out a small huff. "Get it now? My name's Kagome! Ka-go-me!"
Kagome pushed the nagging memory aside, sighing as her gaze skittered away. She couldn't do it. She couldn't tell him her name, not when he had told her he loved her the last time she saw him– not when he had held her so dearly to his heart back then.
Bowing her head slightly, Kagome opened her mouth to tell InuYasha that she was unable to answer his question. A warm hand stopped her, however, holding her cheek delicately, the pad of a thumb wiping away the stray tear that had fallen. Looking up, Kagome saw InuYasha's eyes awash with pain, a hint of remembrance lurking in the depths thereof.
"Inu–?"
"Keh! Don't cry, wench." He muttered gruffly, catching another stray tear that had fallen and looked at it for a moment, annoyance etched in every line on his face. Something like a grunt escaped him, and he finally rose to his knees in front of her, flexing his claws.
His show of tenderness, though hidden by his rough exterior, touched her deeply as a pang of longing, of nostalgia, shot through her, drawing the softest whimper from her lips. She lowered her head once more, the unyielding memories too much for her to bear. 'Why is this happening…? Why am I even here? It hurts so much just to see him, and yet…'
And yet, seeing those golden orbs of his – the same eyes that haunted her dreams; chilled her to the core – warmed her heart in such a way that she couldn't help but feel happier than she had in far longer than she cared to recall.
Before she could ask any questions, InuYasha muttered, "This'll take a second," moments before she felt the fabricated breeze formed by the hanyou slashing his claws through the ropes that bound her. It all happened so quickly that Kagome had to admit she was a little stunned and, though she wasn't at all afraid, felt the rising urge to berate InuYasha for his show of carelessness.
She stood up brusquely, making quick work of dusting the dirt off her once-white skirt and straightening her red tank top. After assuring herself that she was as tidy as she could have been given the circumstances, she turned to pin InuYasha with a look meant to kill. He didn't seem to notice as he stood up in much the same fashion she had, dusting off his robes as best he could before having the grace to smile slightly at her.
That is, of course, before he realized she was glaring daggers at him.
A trace of fear passed over his features before his face contorted into a marked scowl, his eyes lighting with as much bemusement as trepidation. "Oi, wench! What are you lookin' at me like that for?"
Unimpressed by his show of bravado, Kagome slowly made her way to him and, before allowing him the chance to pull away, she tugged at the two locks of silver hair hanging by the sides of his face, tightening her grip as he realized she was less than pleased. "You know, wench, you might want to–"
"Baka!" she shouted, yanking his hair closer to make her point clear. Too many feelings were warring inside her, fighting for dominance as she struggled to reign in her temper. Too many years had passed since she had properly seen him, touched him, and now that she could, he wasn't even able to remember her name. Confusion gave way to melancholy; melancholy gave way to frustration; frustration gave way to anger, and InuYasha's latest stunt toppled her already precarious hold on her emotions over the edge.
"All right, wench, that's about enough of–"
"Did you even realize that you could have killed me?" Her eyes seemed to darken as her temper spiked, and her glare, if possible, turned even more menacing. "You have razor-sharp claws, you baka! I'm a human, remember?"
A small growl escaped InuYasha as heat stole up his cheeks, staining his skin as red as his haori at the perceived insult. "Yeah, I know you're a pathetic human, wench," he bit out, his tone leaving no doubt in her mind that he was far beyond irritated, too. "In case you didn't notice – not that I'd blame you, since you're pathetic and stupid – I'm inu-hanyou. I can smell your nasty stench a mile away, if I wanted to– which I don't."
Kagome's normally serene countenance reddened with indignant rage, her eyes boring holes into his skull. Opening her mouth to yell at him some more, she stopped mid-word, and huffed a long, pronounced sigh, crossing her arms in front of her chest, turning on her heel and stomping off.
Stupefied by her decision not to rake him over the coals for something that was, in his opinion, completely absurd, InuYasha stood there, gawking at the upset woman.
She stopped in her gait, glancing back at the gaping hanyou with a distinctly devious glint in her eyes. "Hey, InuYasha! Are you going to stand around drooling all day?"
Sputtering as her question evoked his notorious temper once again, he made his way over to her, sending her a scathing glare before speaking. "Drooling? Keh! As if I drool! Listen, wench," he argued, golden eyes ablaze with hardly-contained anger, "before you start running your mouth on some load of crap, let me remind you that it was because of me that you didn't get killed back there, you got that? And for the record, in case I didn't make it clear enough, I don't drool. You understand? I don't."
Sparing him a look as his countenance contorted into a mulish pout, she nearly laughed outright at the sheer number of times she'd seen that expression. 'If I got a dime for every time he did that…' Coughing softly as she turned to look at him, Kagome was barely able to hide the smile that twitched on the corners of her lips. "It's all right, InuYasha, I know you don't drool… most of the time."
Rounding an incredulous stare at the woman he perceived to be the most irritating being on the face of the earth, his voice dropped to an almost-menacing timbre. "Wench…"
She giggled lightly then sighed, her gaze dropping as she ambled forward, maintaining her pace with his. "I was just teasing InuYasha. It's just…" she trailed off, her unmasked sadness cutting him more than he cared to admit. Who was this woman, really?
"''It's just'… what?" InuYasha prodded, his curiosity unyielding to the silence she provided. "You can't just start a sentence like that and not finish it, wench!"
She made a face at him as they continued walking, the blush stealing up her cheeks despite her valiant struggle to keep it down. "Well, it's just–" She cut herself off once more, much to InuYasha's frustration.
"Just what?"
At her lack of a response, InuYasha sped up and whipped around on her, stopping her in her tracks. He was obviously annoyed, she could tell, but that didn't really provide her enough incentive to tell him what she was thinking.
Golden eyes piercing through her as she was forced to look at him, she felt as though he could reach into her soul and hear her deepest secrets; her heartbroken sorrows… "Look, girl, you'd damn well better tell me what the hell it is you were about to say, because I swear if you don't, I'll just have to fucking–"
For some reason he couldn't understand, Kagome had tears in her eyes again, and the hanyou had to wonder just what it was he could have said to trigger it. The sight of this girl in tears had the power set InuYasha's nerves on edge, and he didn't like it– not at all. "W-why are you crying again, wench?"
"It's been nine years, you know?"
Stunned silent by her quiet words, InuYasha stared at her: head down, bangs covering her eyes, and an unbearably sad aura surrounding her small frame. Closing his eyes as he heaved a sigh, he clumsily pulled her towards him, awkwardly hugging her but comforting her all the same. 'Why am I doing this? I don't even know this girl…'
Not that he really took that statement to heart, but still… it didn't make any sense. Why did she make him feel so at ease?
"It was nine years ago the last time I saw you. I thought… I thought I would never see you again," she mumbled into his haori, the sound of it muffled by the cloth.
He let go of her, wanting to ask her for more information, wanting –no, needing– to know what it was that happened; needing to know why everything felt unreal…
Kagome smiled a gentle smile, a bittersweet thing that made InuYasha's heart beat a little bit faster… or was he imagining it? 'That smile… she looks so… beautiful…'
And suddenly his eyes began to hurt, his head began to ache, and his heart began to shatter once more. Before he could properly assess the situation, he was thrown into a time and space with which he was unfamiliar– where dreams and fairytales still rang true.
Straining his eyes to open, InuYasha looked at Kagome as though he had never truly seen her before. Raven locks cascading gently over her arms, creamy skin glowing in the warm light of the sun, sparkling tears revealing her heart as his name spilled off her lips time and again…
He had never seen her more beautiful…
"InuYasha? InuYasha! InuYasha, what's wrong with you? InuYasha, wake up!" her words were pleading, worried. Her voice cracked, and he could feel warm hands cupping his face.
'Her voice… she's calling my name again…'
'Did you realize? She never forgot…'
'Never forgot… what?'
"InuYasha!"
His eyes slowly opened only to reveal that girl – Kagome was her name – before him, her eyes filled to the brim with tears and her hands gently holding his face while he lay sprawled on the ground.
Instinct taking over before his heart could have a say, he pushed her away firmly but gently, his voice nearly thundering. "What the hell is wrong with you, Kagome? I'm fine, all right? You see me? I'm just fine!"
She gasped lightly as a hand flew to her mouth, the other to her chest. He came to the conclusion that just about everything surprised this girl.
"You… you said my name!" Her tone was ecstatic at best, and her eyes were glittering with unshed tears though now glowing to the core with joy.
Running short on insults, InuYasha fumbled for words. "No–I–Y-yeah, well… what of it, bitch? Can't help it if I remember things with a bad tune to 'em…" Without warning, the hanyou picked himself up from the ground, lightly dusting his hands in the process. He walked off, never looking back to see if Kagome was following or not.
Piqued at InuYasha's less-than-gracious name for her, Kagome immediately stood up, annoyed that he'd insult her and then have the nerve to just leave her there. Walking slightly faster than normal, Kagome caught up with the silver-haired hanyou, casting him a withering glare, unbeknownst to him.
"Listen here you jerk! You have no right to call me that name! It's rude, impolite, and downright immature! Besides," she maintained, taking in some extra air so as to emphasize her statement, "you stopped calling me those names long ago! So don't you start again with your stupid–"
"Yeah, yeah, all right, wench. Listen: if I can't remember the deal, don't go asking for a bargain, all right? I'll damn well call you a bitch if I fucking feel like it, no questions asked."
Mouth dropping open as she openly scowled at him, her normally bright countenance took on a darker look, which should have properly informed him of his imminent comeuppance, had he been looking. She planted herself in front of him, staring at him through angry brown eyes, displeasure written all over her face.
In the back of his mind, he could hear warning bells going off, screaming at him to get the hell out of there. The look in her eyes promised more pain than it was worth, but... 'How would I know what that look meant? Damn, if only I could remember–!'
"InuYasha..." The warning bells were nearly falling off their hinges now, but for the life of him, he couldn't remember why...
...And just as she drew in her next breath, it hit him, why he should have gotten the hell out of there. A splitting headache ravaged his mind as an onslaught of images hit him all too quickly– countless images of his face meeting dirt as a single word ran through his mind…
"Osuwari!"
Slamming into the ground with unimaginable force, InuYasha uttered a growl that went unheard as it was stifled by the earth beneath him. Unable to pick himself up, InuYasha's temper soared, his ire directed at the gloating woman before him.
"Got a date with the dirt, dog-boy?"
Craning his neck to look at her, his growl escalated at the self-satisfied smirk on her face, the light in her eyes positively glowing with her perceived victory. "K-keh! You wait, wench! I'll fucking hand you over to those damn villagers, see if I don't!"
She snorted indelicately, whipping around and striding towards the village, not even sparing him a second glance. "Yeah, whatever, InuYasha. You do that– if you can get up from there. I wonder if they'll think you've been digging holes or something…"
Her laughter rang back to him, and he grimaced inwardly, knowing he'd lost that round for sure.
'At least she's not crying, right?'
'Keh! Like I care if she's crying or not!'
'Yeah, whatever. Stung your pride, maybe, but she didn't say anything that you didn't deserve for calling her a bitch.'
'I damn well wouldn't call her a bitch if she fucking didn't act like one!'
'Keep telling yourself that if it helps you sleep at night. Ignorance really must be bliss, huh?'
'Keh!'
'Yeah, that's what I thought…'
Growling to himself at his youkai's words, InuYasha trudged behind the nuisance of a woman, clamping his mouth closed before he said something that pissed her off and sent him kissing dirt again. Still…
Gazing at the woman before him, with her laughter, her tears, and her beautiful smile, a small pang shot through InuYasha, something both painful and beautiful– something that made him feel more complete than he had in a very long time.
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Breathing in deeply as she braced herself for what was to come, Kagome slowly took the step that separated her from the thatch curtain that served as the entrance to Kaede's hut. Her hand was poised midair, ready to grab the drapery, but sheer panic stopped her. During the short walk that separated them from the village – and after InuYasha had properly restrained his temper – the hanyou had mentioned that his companions were in the hut of the head priestess, Kaede.
A nagging suspicion convinced her to ask him the professions of his companions, to which he replied that they were a woman, a man and a youth, and that they were a demon exterminator, a monk and a young fox, respectively. Kagome had barely been able to suppress the whimper that threatened to escape her at the knowledge that her friends were alive and well, too.
Now, however, facing the flimsy barrier that separated her from her once family-like friends, her body nearly trembled with fear. What if they looked at her with suspicion in their eyes, distrust in their gaze? She sighed, her shoulders slumping at her lack of faith. 'They trusted me once, who's to say they'll treat me any differently now…?'
"Somethin' the problem, wench?" InuYasha questioned, evidently irritated with her indecision. He stood behind her, tapping his foot impatiently, his arms crossed over his chest.
She slowly shook her head in response when she looked back at him, her eyes telling InuYasha what her body so adamantly denied. She was scared, and though he was tempted to ask her why she felt that way, he'd be damned before he made her more upset than she already was.
Pinning her with a look that cut right to the chase, one that told her just what he thought of her attempt at lying, InuYasha sighed and made to grab for the thatch screen.
Gathering what little pluck she still possessed, Kagome quickly pulled open the curtain before InuYasha could, walking inside as she heard her heart pounding in her ears.
Four heads turned at her entrance, four pairs of eyes following her every movement. As quickly as her momentary courage came, it left, and she was left standing stock-still at the entrance, inadvertently making InuYasha run into her. "Oi, wench! What the fuck was that f–"
The monk stood up and quickly made his way to Kagome, kneeling before her and grasping her hand in his. "My, my… what a beautiful woman! Such beauty must certainly belong to only the most cunning of women, I hope? That in mind, good woman, would you care to bear my child?"
More of a sudden reaction than a conscious decision, Kagome wrapped her arms around Miroku in a friendly hug as she burst into tears. "Oh, Miroku! I didn't think I'd ever hear you say that again! I didn't think–"
A sudden hand on her shoulder stopped her blubbering as a low growl erupted behind her and a loud slap resounded in her mind. Knowing exactly where the growling was coming from and identifying the owner of that slap before she bothered to look, Kagome's heart clenched painfully as a surge of days long past filled her, rattled her mind.
"Keep your fucking hands off her, monk! Ain't you got better stuff to do than to grovel to every woman that walks in this kami-forsaken hut? Damn!" he grouched, gently but firmly leading Kagome over to the raised platform next to the pit for the fire. Sitting down and forcing her to sit down with him, InuYasha shoved his arms in his sleeves, shooting the monk a baleful glower.
A nervous chuckle escaped the man in question, his right hand rubbing the stinging flesh of his cheek. "Ha, ha… well, how can a man such as I be to blame? Certainly one such as yourself, InuYasha, can understand the trials a man has to suffer in the presence of such a beautiful woman."
"Miroku…"
The menacing tone of the woman beside him sent his hairs on end, and he turned to her, grasping both of her palms in his own. "Oh, but Sango! Surely you know that my heart belongs to you, and to you alone! While my flesh might betray me, dear Sango, you must know that my soul's devotion lies solely in your hands…" That said, he forced one of her hands on his tender cheek and rubbed it against him softly.
A snort escaped the reddish brown-haired youth sitting nearby Sango, his arm hanging limply over his raised knee. "Give it up, Miroku. You've been trying to woo Sango for years, and it hasn't worked. Why not go after someone else?"
Kagome's eyes rounded with wonder as she realized who, exactly, the youth was. Standing up slowly, ignoring the questions in InuYasha's eyes as he wondered just what it was she was doing, Kagome strode over to Shippou, kneeling down in front of him.
"Well, Shippou, a man such as myself must always persevere in what he perceives to be–"
"Shippou?" Kagome asked tentatively, raising a hand to cup one of Shippou's cheeks. Her eyes were rounded in wonder, brimming with unshed tears.
"W-w-what are you doing?" the youth stammered, heat stealing up his cheeks and staining his skin a pink hue. "Why are you–?"
Before he could finish his questions, Kagome wrapped her arms around him in much the same fashion as she had Miroku, hugging him fiercely as her tears welled and fell over, dampening the cloth on the kitsune's shoulder. "Shippou, I can't believe it! It's you! It's really, really you! How… when did you get so big?" Kagome asked as she leaned back, taking in the man before her.
Shippou blushed all the more profusely at her question, his right hand scratching the back of his neck nervously. "U-uh… I'm sorry but… who.. are you?"
Kagome sucked in a harsh breath, forgetting all to quickly that her comrades – her friends – had not remembered who she was, not even so much as remembering her name. So caught up in the familiarity of it all, in the comfort their company provided, Kagome had simply forgotten, hadn't she, that they didn't remember her; not at all…
A tear streaked down her cheek as a watery smile broke over her gentle features, the light of the late afternoon sun filtering through the roof of the hut and lending her a delicate glow. "I… I'm sorry. I-I…" her speech faltered as a lump rose in her throat, very aware of the fact that the attention of everyone in the room was focused on her. Standing up and bowing quickly, Kagome tried to hold her composure long enough for her to leave. "P-please excuse m-me… I don't feel v-very well. I-I'll be back." Without another word, she briskly strode out of the hut, not bothering to look back.
Silence fell upon the room as the seconds ticked away, each person unsure of what to say.
Finally, Kaede spoke, her voice aged, weary with time. "InuYasha, be that girl your companion?"
InuYasha looked tense, his eyes darting everywhere around the hut but at the eyes that questioned him. "It's… hard to explain."
Sango sat down, dismissing the near-altercation between her and Miroku and sighed. "She's that girl, isn't she? The one we remembered so long ago…"
Miroku let out a little "ahh" before clapping his fist into his open palm. "I knew I recognized her somehow! Such grace would be very difficult to forget, after all."
Shippou shook his head. "I don't understand though," he started, his emerald gaze clouded with confusion, "if we can't really remember her so well, why can she remember us?"
The room fell silent once more, each lost in his own thoughts. After a few minutes, Miroku cleared his throat, garnering everyone's attention. "Perhaps she knows? Certainly it seems strange, does it not, that we all met each other while covered in our own blood? Where was she? Who is she? Maybe she has the answers to the questions we've been wondering all these years, don't you think?"
Sango cut in before anyone else could answer, her voice tinged with compassion. "I don't know what she knows or what she doesn't know, but judging from her behavior, I'd say she could use a friend." Her gaze was awash with understanding, remembering a time when she herself didn't care for answers or petty words, but for a friendly gesture and the warmth of reassurance. "InuYasha, you seem to know her best, don't you? Go get her and make her feel better, will you?"
InuYasha sputtered, his golden orbs filled with horror. "Wha–? No! Why me? She's a hella 'nnoying bitch who can't fucking keep her mouth shut! I ain't gonna go after her!" he huffed, steeling his gaze in an effort to dispel any ideas of his going after the wench. "Besides," he added, his tone petulant, "isn't Miroku the one that wants to get friendly with her? Let him do it!"
Sango sent Miroku a scathing glare, warning him not to so much as think of accepting the offer. Sighing dejectedly, Miroku went on with the woman's ploy. "Well, true as that may be, InuYasha, I'm not the one who gets worked up when women cry. You are."
"K-keh! I don't give a shit if that wench cries all day! She can have at it, for all I fucking care!" the hanyou returned, finding a spot on the wall particularly interesting to look at.
Wisely hiding his amusement at the sulky hanyou, Miroku exhaled exaggeratedly. "Well, that's good, because considering the way she was acting, she'll probably be crying till the morning."
Releasing a low snarl as he rose from the ground, InuYasha made his way out the hut without a word, mumbling something about 'fucking monks' and ' bitching wenches'.
Their laughter rang in his wake.
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InuYasha slowed to a walk after having sprinted most of the way to Goshinboku, knowing full well that the girl had come here.
Looking around, taking in the scenery as the waning light of the sun lent his surroundings a soft ambience, InuYasha ambled forward, hearing the soft sniffles of the object of his search. His clothes rustled with his movements, and he didn't try being discreet as he sauntered towards her. The last thing he wanted or needed was for the girl to freak out because she didn't know he was there.
Resting her head on her forearms, held up by her raised knees, Kagome made a small whimpering sound, keening softly. Her tears streaked down her cheeks, glistening in the weak light of dusk. Opening her eyes a crack to see InuYasha, her face contorted into a grimace as she sat up, clumsily wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, trying to hide her tears.
The silver haired hanyou hunkered down beside her, arms resting on his knees as he looked at her, his golden eyes leaving her no place to hide. "Look here, wench–"
Forcing a small laugh for InuYasha's sake, Kagome looked at him, eyes puffy and red from her crying. "Oh, InuYasha, you didn't have to come looking for me! See? I'm fine!" she added with painfully fake cheer, causing him to smash his ears against his skull, the pitch in her voice higher than he would have liked.
He sighed.
"Kagome, why are you so sad? Why were you… why were you crying?" he questioned, his tone gentle, understanding.
Kagome exhaled softly, her tone resigned, almost plaintive. "It's so hard, you know?" Grimacing at her poor choice of words, Kagome bit back the desire to run off again and cry. "No, I.. I suppose you don't know. You don't remember, do you?"
InuYasha looked down at his hands, scowling at the things he couldn't remember. Why was it that the simple knowledge that he forgot her and she remembered him was enough to make him grit his teeth? Why did it make him feel like a traitor, as though he had broken a promise he had meant to keep? He shook his head. He didn't have a clue.
"No, Kagome, I… I don't remember. But… why don't you tell me– tell us? We've always wondered, what it was that happened. Our lives seemed connected, but it was like this chunk of it was missing. We just don't know where to find it." Looking up as he finished speaking, InuYasha saw it– the strangest emotion in the depths of her eyes, as though she…
'No, that's… impossible. She couldn't–'
'And why not? That would explain a lot of it, really, if she did.'
'But me? She couldn't! She wouldn't. She's too… she would deserve better, anyway…'
Her soothing voice cut through his musings, clearing his gaze as he stared at her once more, as he took note of her every move, watching as the soft breeze barely lifted her hair, bringing to mind another time, another place…"It isn't my place to tell you, InuYasha. Don't you see? This was… this was meant to happen, and if I told you… it'd be like breaking the rules, you know? Besides," she continued, her voice dropping to a near-whisper, "it would break me, telling you all the things you should know. I just couldn't…"
"Kagome…"
Offering him a wan smile, her brown orbs looked so sad, so lost. "I'll stay with you, InuYasha, if you'll have me."
Night was falling fast, but he didn't notice. The throbbing pulse in his skull was more than he could bear, and he dropped to his knees, his hands holding his head as the invasion of memories stormed his mind.
She sat on the lip of the Bone-Eater's Well, looking more alone than he could have ever remembered. The morning sunshine spilled around her, bestowing her in an ethereal sort of radiance, making her gentle features appear almost angelic to him. The desperation in her aura cut at him, making him feel even guiltier for his inaction.
She was looking at the ground, shuffling her feet slowly. When she spoke, her voice carried on to him like the caress of the softest breeze. "I… I want to stay with you. I won't be able to forget you."
His heart stopped for a moment or two, then slammed into him with a force that almost brought the hanyou to his knees. Torn between his desire to comfort her and the promise he had made to Kikyou the night before, InuYasha settled for waiting, hoping – praying – that she would understand. 'Kagome… I don't know how to answer.'
She spoke again, much to his relief. "InuYasha… just tell me one thing." She stood up quietly; made her way to him, her gaze still lingering on the ground.
His mind was reeling with apprehension. What was she going to ask him? "Yeah?"
Finally, she met his gaze with her own, a tender pleading awash in her clear brown eyes. "Can I stay at your side?"
Sitting up with a strangled sort of gasp, as though he had been suffocating, InuYasha turned wide eyes on Kagome, who was kneeling beside him, her eyes full concern. "InuYasha, you're… you're okay?"
He nodded slowly, and when he did, she hugged him, a vicious relief overcoming her as her exhaustion rolled in wave after wave. "Good," she murmured, the words dulled by his haori. She closed her eyes and leaned heavily against him, her body seeming to give out on her.
It had been a long day, hadn't it? She had been through so much in the course of one day, and InuYasha couldn't blame her as he picked her up, easily adjusting her so that he could carry her back to the village. Her head rested against his shoulder, her soft breathing punctuated by the beat of his heart.
"G'night, InuYasha," she whispered, her tone dreamy.
He sighed softly, gazing down at the woman in his arms, the light of the moon making her black hair shine blue. "Good night, Kagome."
She made a small sound of recognition before drifting to sleep, her implicit trust in him lending him a comfort that he hadn't even realized he needed.
Careful not to disturb her, he walked slowly to the village, his thoughts centered on the very woman that lay in his arms.
Author's Note (2): Okay… okay. I know. Every last one of you wants to kill me, but before you do anything rash…
I'M SORRY!
All right. See? Remorse. Lots of remorse. In fact, remorse is what made me finish this chapter. Where have I been all summer? Well, where is every other adolescent? The beach, friends' houses, the gym, and my bed. Sleeping. Man, that was wonderful. But anyway! So, I just lost track of time for the past… what, almost four months? No, that's wrong. April and May were exam months. Every other month I lost track of time. Maim me, hurt me, but don't kill me, 'cause I won't be able to finish the story if you do. In any case, just… know that I love you all, even if you are plotting my demise right now. In any case, I'm off. I can't make any promises, but I will do my best. That said… till later!
Peace and love,
.:.ZG91.:.
