Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
"I don't know if I can do this."
Edward held my hand tightly in his, its warm touch enough to calm me momentarily before I started listing off more reasons why I shouldn't have to tell Carlisle about what happened. Surely the events of my past didn't have to be relayed to everyone, right?
"Bella, I'll be there for you every step of the way, okay? If you get stuck, I'll tell Carlisle myself. Just trust me, please?" He pleaded with me. And I, being the naturally submissive person I am when it came to Edward, gave in with a small nod. He played with the strands of hair that fell down my neck while I sighed contentedly. Right after my talk with Emmett, Edward insisted on taking me to Carlisle to "come to terms with my past". I had thought that I had come to terms when I spoke to Edward, but apparently, I needed help. Yeah, that's the kind of thing a girl definitely wants to hear when she just spilled her heart out.
A few minutes later, I heard the quiet padding of shoes against carpet. The familiar footsteps inched closer to us before I heard the familiar breathing of Carlisle.
"Hello Bella. Edward called and said you wanted to talk about something…" I nodded and tried to gather the words that I wanted to say. How hard could it be to retell what I already said? Unfortunately, it was easier said than done.
"I…um, it's just that…I-I can't do this." I turned away and started to make a mad dash for the door when I felt a warm arm circle around my waist and pull me back. "Oh no you don't, Bella. At least stay here and I'll tell Carlisle, okay?" I nodded glumly before taking a seat. And then it all started again.
Edward telling Carlisle my story caused something that I didn't expect. My emotions were haywire, making me want to scream, cry, and thrash around in anger, all at once. All for the friend I had lost, for the forgiveness he gave me, for the people I gained because of it. But never once, I realized, did I mourn for my missing eyesight.
It didn't make sense! I had believed that after all of this, my only problem would be my eyesight, or lack of. But in the end, the only thing I worried about now wasn't the blindness; it was the effects said blindness would cause my newly found relationship with Edward. We never properly discussed the kisses or where we were in this strangely constructed relationship. Were we dating? Were we a couple? Was he my boyfriend and I his girlfriend? Did he even want me in that way? All these new questions had answers that could only be answered mutually. But I was scared.
Because the truth could make me or break me. I wanted Edward in a way that was foreign to me. I couldn't explain the spiraling static that consumed me whenever I even touched my hand to his, the way his laughter made me want him to laugh again, the way the warmth of his presence took me under its control every time he entered the room. What was it?
Edward drove me home an hour later, Carlisle having said that he needed to go over his notes for our next appointment. The ride was quiet, an awkward silence settling over us in a thick sheet. My fingers twirled around each other, and I turned towards the window, pretending to see what was outside. The anxiety from before was now gone and replaced with an anxiousness that was pushing me, clawing into me and making me feel like I should maybe just jump out of the car, just for something to do.
When the Volvo came to a stop, I didn't move to open the door and instead took a deep breath. It should have been clear what to do next but I was coming up blank. How did normal girls proceed in this sort of situation? I was almost positive that most girls weren't blind. And I was also pretty sure that in this situation, most girls would jump Edward as soon as they got the chance. Apparently, I would have to wait to get him on my driveway so that when I did take that leap, there would be a thick layer of overgrown, soft grass protecting him from further injury.
Just as I opened my mouth to awkwardly excuse myself from his car, I was interrupted by a velvety voice. "Bella…I-I don't really know how to…proceed with this. This usually isn't the kind of thing that happens," I laughed at just how right he was and he chuckled nervously. "Well, um, if I wasn't particularly clear before, I was kind of hoping that maybe, you would…maybe go on a, um, dinner with me?" It took me awhile to decipher what he was saying. His sentence never really ended and I was just a bit confused.
"…what?" He sighed and I almost imagined him running his hands through his silky hair (the hair that I now wished to run my hands through again). His large, slender yet strong hand took hold of my own and held it. "Will you, Bella Swan, accompany me to dinner this Friday night?" Before I really even had a chance to think it over, my head nodded on its own and a grin stretched across my face. Soft hands grasped my face, turning it to my left. Warm, sweet breath hazed my senses and I breathed in deeply, trying to take in more. My eyes nearly rolled back in my head. Instead, I just tried to concentrate on the feeling of the spiraling static coursing through his hands and into my cheeks, boiling the blood and forming a blush on my cheeks. But I wasn't embarrassed.
"Bella, I need to apologize for not really starting off this," he paused for a moment, probably making a hand movement between the two of us, "without properly taking you out on a date. But I-"
I couldn't take the scent of his breath, running across my face and causing more warmth when mixing with his strong hands. I just covered his angular cheeks with my own too small hands and pulled him forward unexpectedly. My lips met his and they molded. He didn't react for a moment, probably still in shock, before his lands slid into my hair, pulling me even closer. Leaning over the dashboard wasn't exactly comfortable and my stomach would probably be bruised from the rough pulling I was getting, but I didn't feel like stopping. And just as suddenly as the kiss had started, it stopped.
Edward's breathing was coming out in deep but unsteady breaths as my own were coming in short, embarrassing gasps. Finally, I heard Edward clear his throat. "Bella, I'm trying to be serious." Even I could hear the humor hidden behind his serious façade and I couldn't help but laugh unsteadily with him. "I wish I could say the same for myself." He laughed again more heartily than before.
"Um, I better get inside. Em's probably waiting for me. And I need to cook dinner and-" Edward placed his mouth over mine, cutting me off.
He pulled away too soon for me to comply. "Heaven will freeze in hell before I let you cook dinner again. They'll fend for themselves. With an injured shoulder and hand, there is no way you'll be cooking anytime soon. Emmett's picking something up anyway. He already called." I nodded and opened my door. "Oh Bella?" He called. I turned around only to be met with his warmth breath in my face again. I could feel the heat from his skin oh so close to my own. "I'll see you Friday night. Seven o'clock." I nodded dizzily and stepped out of the car, stumbling slightly. My shaky walking took me up to my door before I heard the Volvo pull away. But I could have sworn I heard a velvety chuckle being muffled.
School had been a forbidden zone for the remainder of the week. Charlie was worried around my burns and my shoulder. I told him that I had fallen down the stairs and had been bruised up a bit. Emmett probably glared holes in the back of my head for not allowing him to take the blame, but I saw no point in two people taking the blame for my stupidity. Instead, I forced him to cook dinner, under my supervision, for the week. I wouldn't have them eating heart attacks on a pizza crust for an entire week just because of my inability to walk on a flat, stable surface.
By the end of the week, my hand had healed sufficiently and I was able to walk up the stairs on my own. Charlie had become a little over protective through the week, constantly checking if I was alright. I began to think that maybe Carlisle had talked to him about my "fragile" state, but I couldn't be sure. But other matters were at hand.
The date with Edward was waging war on my mind, causing me to go ballistic. What will I wear? How should I fix my hair? Where is he taking me? Will I get through the night without tripping over a waiter and splashing food across the restaurant, including myself?
I had never really tried all that hard on my previous dates with James. A nice blouse with a skirt would be perfectly reasonable for most dates with him. But this wasn't James. It was Edward. The Edward and his opinion mattered more than anything else. So when Alice and Rosalie showed up at my door on Friday night. While I would normally be upset that they came to dress me up, I couldn't stop the relief that calmed me when they said that they had brought me the perfect date outfit. I had through a torturous makeover before and decided that it was best to just shut up and endure.
"Bella, sit still or I swear you'll have another burn." I grimaced but sat as still as I could while Alice held the barrel of the curling iron too close to my face. Rosalie was painting something on my face while I tried my best to keep my facial expression blank. Rosalie and I hardly talked but I didn't feel awkward around her. She and I weren't close friends like Alice and I, but I could tell she was making an effort into the friendship. Which is why is surprised me when she began asking a few questions.
"Bella, not to be rude or offensive or anything, but when was the last time you actually went to the doctor for your eyes? I mean, I have no idea how this whole thing goes, but it's only been what, maybe a year since the accident? Shouldn't there have been a few appointments with the optometrist or something?" I smiled at her curiosity.
"Actually, I haven't gone since they took the bandage off my eyes a month after the…incident. They said I was blind, so I saw no point in trying to get my hopes up. Blindness can be cured but the doctor said since my eyes had been damaged previous to my blindness, the chance of the surgery actually helping was minimal. Besides, what would I do if they came up with a safer, more accurate method of getting my sight back and it was too late? It just wasn't worth it." I shrugged.
"But, Bella, what if they have come up with something new? Then there's a chance that you'll be able to see Edward! Isn't that what you want?" I smiled sadly and nodded.
"Exactly. It would kill me if the surgery was unsuccessful. Because of all things, I wouldn't want to hurt Edward by getting his hopes up just to tear them down. Edward's my main priority, even if he doesn't know it. If he's unhappy with my blindness, then I'm unhappy. I've learned to handle it, but…I don't think he could if this was held in front of him but he couldn't take it. That's why I have to prove to him that I am worthy enough, even if I'm not." I blushed at my explanation. It sounded so personal because it was. And I just told his sisters.
A collective "aw" reverberated through the room before Alice continued combing through my hair, ruffling the curls of hair a bit. Rosalie finished applying some sort of coloring to my lips before pulling away. When they both finished up, Alice pulled me up from my seat my room and pushed me into the bathroom. She tossed something into my hands and shut the door. I unfolded whatever it was, trying to feel it only to find that something had fallen to the floor. And it was lace.
A tiny bit of lace with underwire.
"Alice!" I screamed. The door to the bathroom opened and a sing song voice sang out, "Yes?"
"Alice, what is this," I held up the offensive feeling garments, "thing that you expect me to wear?" She sighed exasperatedly. "Bella, put the damn underwear on or I'll have Rosalie come in here. She can hold you down while I strip and dress you. We've done it before, we can do it again." An audible gulp came from my throat and Alice laughed her tinkling laugh. I scowled but agreed and changed.
The underwire of the bra felt strange, almost like it was cutting into my sides and I felt very scantily clad in the lacy, too small underwear with the knee-length dress. It was silky soft and flowed like liquid velvet over my skin, but I felt bare. The neckline came down in an overlapping V, barely showing any cleavage, but the fact that I couldn't see it was a bit unnerving. I didn't exactly want to give Edward a free show on our first date.
And so when the knock on the door came, I felt my stomach fill with overactive butterflies intent on making me sick. I stood at the top of the stairs according to Alice's directions who insisted on "making a big entrance". They stuck me in heels, one inch pumps that I was still scared of wearing, but accepted nonetheless. The other option was a pair of stilettos. I didn't even want to go there. Before they opened the door, Rosalie gave my lips a quick touch up before whispering in my ear.
"Bella, you are worth it."
And she walked away without another word. The door clicked open and quiet footsteps hit the linoleum floor only to stop dead in their tracks. The next thing I heard was an audible gasp.
EPOV
Bella's form stood at the top of the stairs. A flowing blue knee length dress covered her form, leaving her long ivory legs in my view. A V neckline led up her slender throat to her face where a crimson blush covered her cheeks, a nervous smile on her face and her milky chocolate eyes bright. Her mahogany hair flowed neatly down in neck in curls, so soft looking that it looked like silk. I didn't realize that I made a sound until her face darkened visibly. A smile tugged on my lips and I watched as she descended the stairs without her cane. I was ready to catch her just incase. The black pumps she wore weren't tall, but with Bella, you could never be sure.
When her face was illuminated even more by the yellowing light of the kitchen, I could see her more prominent features. Her normally plump lips were accentuated with a rosy red color that matched her cheeks and her eyes were brighter when surrounded by her thicker looking lashes. I turned to Alice who stood bouncing in the corner of the room next to a stoic looking Rosalie. Alice was beaming proudly at her work and I could see Rosalie's lips twitching at the corners. I smiled and mouthed a 'thank you' before leading Bella out of the house.
"Bella, you look amazingly beautiful." I whispered, feeling like if I spoke any louder, the moment would just disappear. Her cheeks flamed and she mumbled 'thank you'. I helped her into the Volvo and did her seat belt for her, allowing my hand to linger on her side. I knew it was ungentlemanly of me, but the feel of her skin against mine was enough to make me do anything to get that feeling again. I quickly crossed to my seat and revved up the engine.
Speeding down the highway toward Port Angeles, Bella's hand was becoming very tempting. My hand had made several attempts to take hold of hers, but every time, my mind beat it back down. It seemed like she too wanted to move but instead, she fidgeted nervously, not making conversation. Finally, it became too much for me and I lightly fingered her hand. A smile crossed her face and her fingers intertwined with my own, our palms lying against each others. I felt my face heat up in embarrassment but didn't say anything, just enjoying the comfortable silence that had blown the awkwardness away. We didn't need to speak.
An hour long drive was only forty-five minutes long with my speeding and we made it to Bella Italia. I wished that I would have been able to make reservations at a nicer restaurant, but this was the best I could do in such short notice. I stepped out of the car and ran to Bella's before she got the chance to open it herself. When it clicked open, she smiled sheepishly and removed her hand from the door handle. She stepped out and I took another inappropriate peek at her legs. They just looked so smooth, so touchable.
Leading her in, an older female hostess smiled kindly at us and led us to the back table I had requested earlier that week. I thanked god for the older couple that owned the restaurant and that there were no boys here to try to flirt with Bella. Knowing her luck, she would attract every single guy from school that had interests in her. I wouldn't have handled that well.
Bella took her seat and closed her eyes. I watched as her nose wrinkled slightly as she sniffed the air. I did the same, curious as to what she smelled and immediately took in the rich scent of tomatoes and garlic. In a teasing tone, I asked, "Smell anything good?" She blushed but smiled and nodded.
"Yes, the ravioli smells good tonight." I laughed as did she and took hold of her hand. She grinned at my move and turned her palm up. "Thank you Edward. This is wonderful." I smiled and scooted my chair closer to hers. Just the warmth that emanated from her drew me in, pulling me. When the hostess came back, she took our drink and food orders and left us to talk.
"Bella, you look lovely tonight." She allowed her hair to fall in her face, covering her heavy blush and murmured, "You're biased." I shook my head.
"That may be so, but I don't think so. I believe every man on a date in this restaurant would believe so as well." Her fading blush came back full force and I allowed my hand to gently drift across her cheek to feel the warmth. "I love that blush," I whispered. "It's the only thing that gives you away. The only thing that I can read. You are still a mystery to me, Isabella." Her cheek leaned into my touch and her eyelashes gently brushed against my palm. So beautiful…
The hostess brought us our food moments later, grinning happily at the sight of us. Before she turned away, she whispered in my ear, "That girl's a keeper. You better not let her go. She loves you, she does." She winked before leaving us be. I stared in awe at what she said. Bella loved me? Part of me was ecstatic, but the other part, the more rational side, said it was illogical that she would so soon. While my feelings had been brewing for weeks, turning from a simmer of lust to a boiling heap of much more passionate, heart-filled emotions, hers had barely come to view. The thought of her possibly loving me in the eyes of others gave me hope, though.
"What did she say?" Bella asked curiously. I blinked in surprise, having been so lost in my own thoughts that I almost didn't hear her perfect alto voice. I forced my tone to become teasing. "Oh, she just said that because of you, most of the girls in the restaurants are leaving. They're getting jealous that their dates are a bit distracted." She glared playfully at me.
"Oh please. If they are jealous at all, it's because I have the most handsome date in the house," she retorted. And then her hand flew to her mouth at what she said. But I wouldn't let it go.
"Oh, most handsome date, hm? Is that really what you think, Ms. Swan?" She glared at me in an attempt to cover her embarrassment and scoffed. "Oh please, as if you don't already know that you dazzle the pants off half the girls you meet." I blinked, surprised. I dazzled people?
Not hearing a response, Bella's unseeing gaze widened and stared at me incredulously. "You really didn't know that?"
"Well, now I do. But I think the question is, do I dazzle you?" We had unconsciously been leaning toward each other the entire time and our mouths were oh so close to each other. I could nearly taste her on my breath. A breathy whisper came from her mouth. "Frequently."
Dinner continued without any disturbances and when it was time to leave, I wrapped my coat around Bella. The air had chilled slightly and held a strange feeling that made me anxious. I got her to the car and was just about to open the door when I heard a familiar voice.
"Hello Edward, it's been so long." I spun around and met a pair of hazel eyes staring back at me. A smirk covered her face.
"Tanya," I gasped.
BEWARE THE LONG AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry guys…no, that's not a good enough apology. I grovel at the feet of my loyal readers and reviewers in hope that they will forgive me for my deadening updating. There, that's better. I can explain, but I fear you all won't like the explanation. …well, here it goes.
I feel sorry for school. It gets blamed for things that aren't its fault, much like hormones. I procrastinated and I screwed up and now I feel really bad. But I am trying to update more.
I would like to point out that I will be updating Isabella Marie Swan Volturi much more often though. I need to catch up. But this story will still be updated as frequently as is humanly possible for me. I do still have two weeks on first semester left after Christmas break and those two weeks will be filled with exams and studying for said exams.
Ok, I have a few more things to say. If you have submitted a word in the past that I haven't put in a chapter for the word challenge, please PM/message me with the word and your Penname in this format.
Challenge Word- Penname
Meaning of Word if necessary
Comment if necessary
Anyway, that'll make it bunches easier for me. Okay, next note.
I have written several one shots recently and I ask that you read them. One is called The Last Night and the other is called Lips of an Angel. The latter isn't my favorite one shot ever, but I did okay…I think. Please read and review them. Also, please read Isabella Marie Swan Volturi. I mean, I have way less reviews and readers for that one and I was kind of hoping you all would give it a chance. I really like that one. I feel like the characters are much more in character.
And I will soon be posting a new story called Human Trafficking. But I am prewriting it so that there will be no trouble with lack of updating. It'll be up soon.
Oh yeah, and my sister wants me to co write a story with her. So that'll probably be up soon too. Ok, one last thing.
!!!CALLING ALL NEW YORKERS AND MANHATTANITES!!!
I NEED people to tell me where normal, middle class families live and what occupations they normally have. And normal information like what schools exist in those areas and things like that. It is much appreciated.
Oh crap, my mom's coming. Gotta go!
Sincerely Yours,
Sovoyita
