A/N: OK, time for an OC of mine that I have had stuck in my head for way too long. This is kind of a quick account of her games, but I might write a full length story about her sometime in the future. She will also appear in the chapter based off the song Come Away To the Water. Read and review please! (PS this is like a confession of hers, either to herself or to someone else so imagine her just spitting it out. The thoughts don't really connect 100 percent. If I write the story this will make a lot more sense)
Nothing To Remember:
I've trained for my entire life. My parents, in response to their own crushed dreams, had me to be the victor they longed for. We lived our lives in district 1; working and training. Then, when I was 13, they had my younger sister, much too beautiful to be a tribute she was destined to be a poster girl for the capitol. The best accident that every graced the light of day. Too sweet to match the fate set for me. And she was the only thing I loved more than the feel of flesh against my knife.
She was four when I left for my destiny, her bright eyes staring up at me as I boarded the train. And that's where it grows blurry. I can remeber the opening ceremonies and interviews perfectly. The training in the gym, the announcement of the scores still comes back to me with perfect quality. Then, the moment that gong sounds, it's gone. Like I had forced myself to forget it. I can recall the victor ceremonies, the crownings. And watching my games-it was like a dream. I couldn't connect with that girl on the screen. She wasn't me. The sneer she wore, the glint in her eye, It couldn't be me. But I pretended, for my own sake, that I loved it. I was the perfect victor. The victor that felt no remorse That is until my sister turned 6.
I remember the day perfectly. Me, in my house in victor's village, watching some silly capitol talk show. Talking to the new victor, some Johanna girl from 7. I didn't mentor this year, but I would next year. Then in came my younger sister. Her beauty, even though she was only six, surpassed much older girls. But her eyes that day, the were empty. "Hey there" She flinches at the sound of my voice. "What's wrong?" I get up to give her a hug but she jumps away from my touch. She won't look at me in the eye as she dashes up the stairs to her room. I call to her, chasing her to her room. Looking back at me, alarmed at my chasing, she starts crying and falls to the floor next to her room. "What could possibly be wrong?" I sit on the floor next to and she looks up to me with her eyes shining with tears. "You didn't really do that did you, Emerald? Did you really carve that girl up with the knife? Did you really kill all those kids, all 11 of them?" This hits me like a ton of bricks. She watched the games, my games. "Where did you watch them!" I yell at her and all I get back is whimpers. "Please tell me" I try softer. "In class today" she hiccups "And the way you cut up that girl. They match your tattoos. The news guy said she had 3 little sisters, and you killed her." Anger rises in her little voice. "I hate you! You killed all those kids and you had a smile on your face!" She runs out of the house and I'm running too.
I barely make it to the bathroom before I vomit. I'm actually crying and it feels like I've been hit in the chest. For the first time ever, I feel human. Like my heart is breaking. It's all coming back to me, the killing of every other female in the arena. Each of their deaths replaying in my mind. I can barely stand, only to see my self. My dark hair and my green eyes looks just like that girl from the videos I swore I never was. It's like she's right there, sneer in dark green tattos that mark just where I cut the district 2 girl, my last kill. Matching where I cut the dummy during my training session with the gamemakers, the one that got me my 10. My hand hits the mirror hard, drawing blood and sending shattered glass everywhere. I run from the room but the entire house reminds me of everything I did.
The human side of me haunts me with nightmares, my footsteps echo. I become a ghost, trying to become invisable. But I still feel the effects of the old me. Every breath I take reminds me of the arena. The killer instinct in me longs for some practice with my knifes, which I threw into the fire long ago. Then I'm getting ready for the 73rd games. I worry that my old self will come back out again. But I begin to hear things, things that I normally would disregard as the they were said by the 'lesser victors.' It all makes sense though, they are fighting against the hunger games. I walk up to Beetee, the man from 3. He seems to be a ringleader here.
"What's going on?" I question but he backs away from me. "Please, I want to help." He looks at me like he won't trust me, like I'm a pet of the capitol. "Give me something good to remember. Don't make me go home and stare at myself for another year as you guys do something worthwhile. Please. Help me." "Emerald," He starts but I cut him off. "I'm not Emerald; Emerald was that girl who killed all those children. I'm Em, the girl who can't remember anything good she's ever done and needs to change that." And I'm crying again. "Please, help me. I know you are all up to something. And I need in. Please don't make me go home again. To that house that is always watching me, wanting me to be Emerald again. Please." He hugs me, like a father that I never really had. "You can help Em, we will find a place for you."
I finally have something to remember.
A/N: So how do we like Em? If I really write this story it will take place in Mockingjay and will be a little AU. Next up we have Safe and Sound, Review please!
