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I hope you enjoy this chapter, although you may not...
Forever Bound
Chapter Twenty Two – Never Think
Edward felt guilty. Extremely so.
He hated lying to Bella but it was the only way.
Although he told his wife every morning that he was attending his lessons with Jenkins, he had not been to a single training session since before the attack.
He had an excuse the first week, it was Christmas time and he had to insure that his wife and child were in good health, however as the weeks passed, Edward was running out of plausible excuses.
He knew the reason he was missing his training but he would be unable to explain it to anybody. No one knew of the dilemma Edward had currently placed himself in.
Each morning, Edward would jump on to Theodore's back and ride to his meadow, for it was now in fact his meadow. He had purchased it just the week before, and planned to present it as a gift to Bella at some point in the future; he knew she would simply love it there.
After he had arrived, Edward would sit on the grass for hours on end and try to gather together his thoughts and feelings.
It had been extremely difficult to do this on the first day he arrived at the meadow, as a thousand and one thoughts were rushing through his head.
Had he done the right thing concerning Tanya? That was no longer a question up for debate. He knew he had. Tanya was manipulative and selfish and Edward was embarrassed that it had taken him so long to see the true her. It had taken too long.
However, the thoughts that had plagued him since had not been so easy to answer. What did he feel for Bella? Had his feelings changed since the attack? Why did he feel so protective?
It had taken Edward this long to answer his own questions, and he was finally sure of himself.
He was in love with Isabella Marie Cullen.
After the attack, Edward had hated having her out of his sight for even a moment, afraid that something would happen to her or his unborn child. He hated the sensation of not knowing how their child was doing and the worry this caused Bella. He hated the fact that James had been able to affect her so.
But what he hated the most was the fact that it was his entire fault. If he had not been so easily distracted by the news of Tanya's engagement to the monster, he would have noticed James getting too close to Bella, he would have noticed James led Bella outside; he would have been able to prevent it all.
Although that night had been horrific for the couple, Edward was pleased that it had occurred on some level. It gave him the chance to get to know his wife better and discover what a wonderful person she truly was. It had brought them closer together and Edward could not be more pleased. Edward knew, although he refused to admit it to himself, that he had begun to fall for his wife the moment she called his name to help. When he had seen the monster attacking her, he knew he had to do whatever he could to protect her. When she had begged him to stay and comfort her through the night, Edward knew he would never sleep again if it meant Bella would receive one moment of relaxation. As soon as her stomach had become more pronounced, Edward knew that he would already die for the child that rested within her womb.
Alice's wedding had been the true turning point for Edward. In that moment, holding Bella and his child in his arms, hearing the fireworks go off in the background to celebrate the New Year; Edward had an image fill his head. This is what he wanted the rest of his life to be like. He wanted to celebrate every New Year that followed this one to be spent at Bella's side, surrounded by their children and one day grandchildren.
He wanted to see the smile that graced her face every morning when he woke up from the dreams of his wife. He wanted to see her swell with their child at least a dozen times. It was right there, in that second, that Edward finally gave in to his heart and admitted the truth to himself. He was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with her. And without thinking about the consequences, nor resisting the overwhelming urge, Edward had willingly kissed his wife for the first time.
The weeks that had followed had been the best and worst of Edward's entire life. Although he knew how he felt about Bella, he had absolutely no idea if she felt the same; if she could ever feel the same after Edward had damaged her soul so badly. How on earth was he even meant to approach such a conversation?
They were the worst weeks of his life due to the fact he was overanalysing the kiss he had placed on her beautiful lips. How did she feel about it? Did she regret it? Why did she never ask why it happened? These questions spun around Edward's head whenever he caught himself staring at her plump pink lips.
Waking up that morning and not being able to find Bella anywhere in their chamber had made Edward feel physically sick. Managing to get dressed as quickly as possible in case he needed to go outside, Edward had charged down the stairs, yelling Bella's name and praying that she would answer.
When he saw Bella waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs it was as if he could breathe again and unable to stop himself, Edward scooped her into his arms. Bella was confused and Edward had explained his concern, begging her to stay close to him from now on. He was surprised Bella could not see through his concern and view the feeling of love that came from behind his request.
Sitting down to eat the breakfast with the woman who had taken so much time and effort to make their meal was the most relaxed Edward had felt in a long time. He felt as if he had no worries in the world. He was not the future Lord, he was not preparing to go to war, he was not struggling with his conflicting emotions; he was simply Edward.
Although he had not wanted to leave, he knew he must if Bella was to continue believing that he was attending his sessions with Jenkins. It would not do well for him if Bella discovered his true feelings before he would be able to reveal them himself. He had spent the entire day trying to decide on a way to admit his feelings to Bella. He was going to do it today, he was sure of it. She deserved to know and even if she refused him, Edward could no longer keep his feelings hidden.
As the sun began to set, Edward realised it was time to return home once more. It was time to make or break his future.
-o-
Edward paced outside the front door for at least five minutes, doubting all the idea he had created in his head about this moment. The bunch of flowers he had picked from the meadow swung uselessly at his side.
Taking a deep breath, Edward entered his home and called out for Bella, "Bella, where are you?"
"In the living room." Came her quiet reply.
Quickly making his way towards the room, Edward's heart flipped as he observed the sight in front his eyes. Bella was stretched out on the settee, softly stroking her expanding stomach. Edward smiled and made his way over to her, his hands held tightly behind his back.
"Good evening love," What a terrible slip up! Edward faltered but Bella appeared to have missed the endearing term, "You look beautiful today" Edward made a move to kiss her lightly on the lips but Bella turned her head and gave him her cheek. Although he was extremely hurt Edward tried not to show it. "Is there anything on your mind?"
Bella finally raised her gaze to his, her expression unchanging. "No. Is there anything you want to say?"
"No." Yes! The voice inside Edward's head cried out instantly. Edward took another deep breath and decided once more to follow that little voice.
"Actually, there is something on my mind. I think there is something you deserve to know." Edward began to remove the flowers from behind his back when there was a knock on the door. Of all the moments! "Come in!" Edward growled.
"Mr Jacob Black for you Sir, Madam." Angela curtsied before leaving the room. Edward had to contain a shout of disbelief. What on earth was he doing here again?
"Jake!" Bella cried, raising herself onto her elbows to greet him. This was too much like their previous meeting for Edward to be completely comfortable with.
Jacob walked over to Bella and pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly for a moment. This was the last straw for Edward, only he was allowed to hold her for so long!
"Jacob, it is a surprise to see you. What brings you here?" Edward tried to be polite. If he was about to confess his love for Bella, he did not want his hatred for her best friend to get in the way.
"Well, my hormonal wife ordered me to leave her alone and give her some space for a while, so that is exactly what I am doing." Jacob explained, untangling himself from Bella much to Edward's relief. What was wrong with this man? He had travelled half the length of the country, away from his extremely pregnant wife just because she had made a rash request. Edward could not even contemplate the idea of him doing such a thing to Bella when she was in her late stage of pregnancy.
"Oh. How long are you going to stay for?" The shorter the better.
"A couple of weeks I guess," Jacob replied, shrugging his shoulders, "Just long enough for her to realise she needs me by her side." So he was doing this to prove a point?
"Stay as long as you would like. We thoroughly enjoy your company, do we not Edward?" The look Bella was sending in his direction told him that he would be wise to agree.
"Of course," Edward nodded reluctantly, "Stay as long as you wish."
Bella began to rise from the settee. She took Jacob's hand in her own and led him towards the door. "Let me show you to your room, I am sure you have had a long journey and wish to relax." Edward had never felt a jealousy like it.
This was meant to be the moment Edward admitted his love for Bella, and hopefully she would return his sentiments. Only, of course, the moment would be ruined by that fool of a man.
Edward sighed and dropped the bunch of flowers on the floor before he left the room, completely forgotten by his wife.
-o-
It had been almost two weeks since Jacob had come to stay and Edward wished everyday was the last. He was ruining all the progress Edward had made with his wife, so much so that Bella appeared to have no time for him anymore.
Each morning, she would rise and leave the chamber before he was fully coherent, only waking Edward just as she walked out of the chamber as he had requested. Their daily breakfast in bed had been utterly forgotten. By the time Edward emerged, Jacob and Bella would be in deep conversation in the dining room, and there was not chance for Edward to participate due to the topic of their chats.
It was the beginning of February and as usual, Esme was hosting the annual Cullen Valentine's Day ball. Only this year it was being held at Edward's house.
Bella had thrown herself into preparing the ball once more, but this time she had Jacob's help. Edward could not understand why a man would want to undertake such matters; it must be extremely dull, though if it was the only way to spend time with Bella, Edward would take it up in a hurry.
Unfortunately, Edward did not have that option. He had returned to his lessons the day after Jacob had arrived and Jenkins had been pushing him beyond belief, demanding Edward make up for the time he had lost. He did not return home until after dinner, and by the time he had cleaned himself and eaten his meal, Bella had already retired, exhausted from the day's happenings.
As the ball loomed closer and closer, Edward made a decision. Jacob or no Jacob, Edward was going to tell Bella how he felt on that night.
Tomorrow would be the fateful day, and no matter how much he tried, Edward could not sleep a wink.
-o-
Edward attempted to tie his tie for the fourth time. The past three tries had been unsuccessful due to the shaking in Edward's hands that he seemed unable to control.
He was wearing a grey suit with a white shirt and a black tie. Bella had seen him too many times in plain grey and he wanted to completely surprise her.
Finally, ten minutes later, he was ready and he exited the bathroom. Strangely enough, Bella was not in their chamber changing. Edward had not seen her since before midday and was wondering where she was. Where was he meant to meet her if he did not know where to find her?
A knock on the door broke Edward from his thoughts and he made his way across the room to open it.
When he did, Edward believed he had died and gone to heaven. He knew his heart had skipped a number of beats and that he was no longer breathing.
Bella stood on the other side of the door and she looked like and angel that had fallen from God's right hand. How on earth could a human possess such beauty?
She was in a floor length red dress, although the red material stopped a little below the bottom and exposed a detailed white material underneath. It was figure hugging and definitely showed off Bella's growing stomach in the most beautiful way.
"Are you ready to go?" Bella asked. If she noticed Edward's reaction to her she did not mention it. Edward could only nod as he tried to restart his heart.
He offered her his arm and she instantly took it. Edward felt sparks fly down it and could not think of a better sensation.
Leading her towards the ballroom, Edward could not keep his eyes off her, even stumbling a few times much to his embarrassment. Finally they entered the ballroom and Edward had to take his eyes off his wife as they were greeted by a round of applause. The couple nodded and smiled at the couples as they passed and walked into the middle of the dance floor.
Murmurs began to spread throughout the room as people caught a glimpse of Bella's midriff. They had not told anyone but family of the pregnancy and this was the first time they had been seen in public since Bella began to show. Both Edward and Bella ignored the whispers as the music began to start and they led the first dance.
Somehow Bella was able to dance flawlessly, with Edward making the mistakes, due to the fact he was so distracted by the angel in his arms. They did not talk, simply stared at one another, although Bella appeared to be searching for something in Edward's eyes. He had no clue as to what and simply continued to dance.
As the dance came to a close, Bella released herself from Edward's hold, much to his disappointment and made her way over to Jacob. When the women in the room noticed that Edward was no longer occupied, they flocked to his side, showering him in congratulations.
"A baby!"
"You are so blessed."
"Your child will be stunning with the pair of you as their parents."
"When is it due?"
"Is Bella coping okay?"
"Is there anything you need?"
With all the questions being fired at him, all Edward could do was nod and smile, kissing each woman on the cheek in thanks.
One question caught Edward's attention. "Where is Bella Edward? We wish to congratulate her ourselves."
"She is around here somewhere," Edward raised his head and search the crowded room for his beloved wife. What he saw made his heart shrivel up in his chest, while at the same time it felt as if it was on the floor in front of him, being pieced by hundreds of thousands of knives. He had never known pain like it.
In the room full of people, Jacob and Bella were embracing passionately, in the way only lovers do.
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