The Impossible Spider.

Volume 1: The Recluse.

Chapter 3: Flame On and Shock On.


Shit. Shit. SHIT. I run through the apartment, getting into my future brother-in-law Reed's lab. Of course I have access for the weekend because my sis and him needed me to watch the place. They could've gotten Ben but he's worried about his rock skin but that's besides the damn point.

The lab was pristine. Not a single thing out of place other than the missing suit. It's like the party last night never happened thanks to the H.E.R.B. . But they never noticed the hot platinum blonde girl coming in and yoinking something this important?!

'Great job, Johnathan Lowell Spencer Storm, you lost a very, very important piece of science. Kiss your ass goodbye.'

The door slides open and I come face to face, eye to eye with the one thing I never wanted to see. Reed's prototype suit is completely gone! It was meant for Ben! God he's gonna KILL me when he gets back! Where's the suit?! It was right here!

I mean not to mention Ben himself.

Crap, what do I do? What do I…

There's a soft beeping on a screen, a softly shining blue dot near… Midtown. Wow. Easy as pie, huh?

I stretch and open the skylight, "Okay… weird blippy thing, get ready to face the Human Torch! FLAME ON!"

Flames leap from my skin, bathing it in orange, shining around me, or rather. I'm on fire! Alright, look out New York, here's Johnny!


The air hits my new suit, there's no drag or any resistance, smooth and aerodynamic as my legs stab their tips into the buildings as it bounds me skyward, my lengths of webbing sending me tearing through the air.

Everything whips by and I easily slide into a flip. Just soaring above all the noise and bedlam. The city's people going on their merry ways and not noticing a web slinging Recluse just flinging himself through the skies of New York.

My Sense jolts through me and I just barely dodge away from a bolt of flame being lobbed at me, burning past as a flaming… man? Boy? Roars up on me like a bad tailgater.

"Rrgh! What's the big idea, Shithead?! I was slinging!" I yell, dodging another blast, "Oh come on! If you're after me, just get in line behind the big wheel!"

The flaming boy sighs, "Look man! Just strip off the suit and hand it over!"

"Over my dead body, Flames for Brains! My friend gave it to me!" I don't try to fight him because if I do then I'm gonna be one cooked spider and we're not in a country that eats stuff like that! Dodging, dancing, swinging through the air with fireballs whizzing by like fastballs.

"Yeah no, not giving it back!" Webbing up a manhole cover I whip it at him, he melts it midair with *Fwoom!* a jet of flame. He's seriously taking the wind outta my sails…

Dodging more and more bolts, my arms and legs finally seize and I hit the roof hard. Sense and pain rollicking through me as the burning boy lands. Arm, help. Leg. Come on. Trying to get back onto my feet.

He walks up to me, "Spider dude, hand over the suit and I won't burn your legs." he sighs, "I need it back, my sister's gonna KILL me."

"I don't care…" Wheezing, my entire body seizes and my legs retract. Then my mask retracts and my fangs hook up the venom sacs. Drool runs from my mouth when my wrists hurt and my stingers unsheathe.

But it's not for him. My Sense zeroes in on a constant, thrumming pulse. I glare behind me at the formerly immolated boy and snarl out.

"If you want the suit back, you'll have to help me, I can barely move as it is." my Sense screams with the louder pulse as I close in on the bank below. The flaming boy comes with me. His eyes stare at me as I just walk in.

"What? I'm not gonna sneak up on him."

"Hey, hey, your call, dude. I'm just here for-"

"The suit, the suit, I know." I glare at him with a, 'Yeah, I know, shut up.' look.

He's standing next to me, the guy in the busted-out safe filling stacks and stacks of money into a bag with a bunch of other guys too. The Human Torch and I both clear our throats. He turns to us. His guys are all posting up. All armed with rifles, pistols, batons, shields, the works.

"Evening, gentlemen! I'm what you call a pest!" I sling a vent grate into one of the armed guards, picking up his rifle and dodging through a blitz of gunfire, "Whoa whoa whoa! Fingers off the red-hot triggers!"

Tossing the rifle and beaning a guy right in the goddamn face with it is me. I did that! Hell yeah! And tore that vent right off the- Bullets whiz by and I just barely scramble behind some cover under the desk nearby. This is insane! Crazy! What the hell was I thinking?! Stop thinking in circles, dumbass! Sorry, I panicked.

Meanwhile, Torch is going ham with the fire, keeping things wound tight as the sprinklers keep them contained.

The wall bursts into shards of plywall and framing, tearing into the fabric of my suit is the force of a heavy blow right to the back. Hurtling head over ass into the deeper reaches of the bank is me, my legs sliding out and stopping me.

"Oooweee! Lookit you!" Quilted Guy marches into the room, The Human Torch handling the lower goons. "Ain't y'all just sweet? Bein' friends!"

"Oh great, looks like Gramma's Quilt is from Tennessee…" I crouch and my legs shorten, "Unless you're from Texas… actually, I don't wanna know." My muscles tense and Quilted Guy reloads his gauntlets, firing them again, I roll out of the way, my Sense frazzling at every blast.

"I ain't 'Gramma's Quilt' ya big bug! I'm the Shocker!" he barks.

The feeling of it all crashes down on me, smashing into me and tearing things apart in my head. Ducking and dodging as the shockwaves try to hit me. All I can think of is Johnny Cash blasting from out of nowhere. Cutting it close, I bound through the waves and smash my fist into his face, the cartridges springing out of his gauntlets in the heavy shunking of my stingers cutting them to shreds, the dull throb of my wrists beating through it all.

"Listen, yew little dickshart, yer gonna regret that." Quiltman smirks under his cowl and I hold my stingers to his throat. My sense pulses hard and I snap my head up to where Torch is. He's trying his best to not burn them to a crisp, but at that an intense blast of shockwaves slams me into the globe and it bursts into shards and sparks, my body and legs flaring into so much pain.

But I stand back up, swaying to my feet, my body on autopilot. Moving like water, shockwaves running by me, Torch backing me up as best as he could. Everything was swinging madly in my vision, barely awake. All I need is to push a little more. Just a few more blows and this guy goes Goodnight Irene. Shocker reloads but Torch gets him in the chest with a fire bolt, the guy stumbles and I web him down.

He lays there and I grab a piece of paper and a pen, writing…

Courtesy of the Recluse and Human Torch. At that, he and I leave, he's flying near me and all I want to do is go home.

"About the suit…" he starts.

"What, you still want it?" I ask, "Because I'm not giving it back. This doesn't make us friends, Torchhead."

He raises his hands, "Whoa whoa, no. No, I think you should keep it. If I explain to my sister and brother in law who has it, I think I can get you off the hook with them. Also it's Johnny, not Torchhead, not Flames for Brains."

"I get it." I leap away and sling through the city back towards home, Johnny… he's on fire… where'd I hear that before? Ah well, I'm tired anyway. Getting to my window and pulling off my mask and my suit gloves, pushing up the window and heading in. Once I'm inside, I hit my bed face first and pass out. Every inch of me is relaxing and aching. There's no dream of that old lady surrounded by that web. Just a gentle haze of sleep takes over me. No other dreams. Just me asleep and blissfully unaware of anything.

Overtaxed and hurt are my two MOs pretty much. So I sleep.