A/N: I know, I know. "Why do you take so freaking long to update?" "What the hell is wrong with you?" "Why are you ranting on with hypothetical questions that are meant to represent the reader's thoughts when you should be writing the next chapter?" Trust me, all these things went through my mind too. To tell you all the truth, the reason it took me so long…is at the bottom of the page. Read the chapter first. PARTIAL INSPIRATION FOR THIS CHAPTER IS BY: HEDLEY, SHE'S SO SORRY

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or its characters.

CHAPTER 18: NOT SO SORRY

BPOV

The voice was clear and musical, a voice to be jealous of. I recognized the name as it slipped off Edward's tongue and it forced heat to flash through my veins. Ten minutes. Ten minutes Edward had spent telling me about this girl and how she had hurt him. Ten minutes Edward had spent giving me reasons to hate this girl. Ten minutes of my life were being wasted now as the awkward silence passed over us, and Tanya stood there, not speaking but probably smiling at Edward flirtatiously, probably like every other girl in the restaurant had.

My blood boiled and I clutched the open car door tightly in my hand. Without a word, I slammed it shut, ignoring the laugh I heard come from Tanya's mouth. I listened carefully.

"What, you're not going to welcome your girlfriend to town?" Tanya purred with a hint of dark humor in her voice, allowing it to slip through her teeth with ease. How could she even stand there knowing what she had done to Edward, my Edward? She couldn't have not felt the guilt, could she?

"What are you doing here, Tanya?" Edward hissed, his voice dark. I had never heard him speak that way to anyone and it scared me slightly. I had only heard two other people speak in that manner before and neither had the same grace and eloquent conversational skills as Edward. A tinkling laugh that I wanted to call a cackle broke through the air and I winced. Yes, I knew that the bell like sound wasn't anything like a cackle, but calling it that made me feel better. Just her voice was beautiful and I could only imagine what she looked like. It angered me how someone so beautiful could have been so cruel.

"Edward, I'm here to see my boyfriend, the one who left without a single word to me. Besides, dad had a business meeting in Seattle. I just happened to see you walking out of the restaurant with your," she sniffed snootily, "date." I growled under my breath and ground my teeth together. "You sure know how to choose them, don't you Edward? I mean, honestly, blind? A bit of a damsel-in-distress complex you have there if I do say so myself." And I nearly lost it. Instead of saying anything, I knocked on the window. What else was I supposed to do? Go out there and defend myself against an ex-girlfriend that was delusional? No, I couldn't do that for one reason that had nothing to do with her.

Not once did Edward deny her accusations of him being her boyfriend and vice-versa.

That stung deeply, like salt on an open wound. Tears stung my eyes and I wanted to curl up under a rock and hide like a hermit crab. I bit my tongue, hard, when Edward opened his door and slid in before closing it quietly and driving off, not saying a single word.

--

The silence was forced. Edward would clamp his mouth shut with a snap every few minutes after taking a deep breath and would start the process over again and again. I didn't have anything to say. It didn't take a genius to know where this was going. He was going to leave me for her because he realized what he had left behind in Denali. He left behind a possible future, a girl that was worthy of him and would be able to contribute to the relationship better than a blind girl that was dependent him.

He remembered a possible future without me in it.

I was an idiot for believing he would want me! Honestly, what was I thinking? That this would be a Cinderella story and the charming prince would save me from my life? Please, that was hardly logical and just spewed nonsense. My life before Edward had been lonely and depressing to think about, but I could cope. I had before and I could do it again. As my contingency plans raced through my head, Edward's car pulled to a stop. I didn't say anything and opened my door before he could get it. He wouldn't be here for long anyway. I might as well get used to doing this kind of thing without him. Most likely out of pity, Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me into a doorway. From the moment I had climbed the steps of the porch, I knew it wasn't my house. The steps to my front door were shorter and wider. I recognized these steps as those of Edward's house and immediately put myself on alert.

He was bringing me hear to reject me in front of his family so I wouldn't make a scene. And possibly so Charlie wouldn't shoot him at my house. The thought made me angry, angry at myself for making me believe that we had something. What kind of person was I to stop him from living a normal life without the baggage of my own past? I was nothing but a nuisance for allowing myself to infiltrate his life.

It didn't take long to find myself on the familiar feeling couch. The forced silence that was begging to be broken shook under the pressure of Edward's hesitance. I didn't have anything to say. My own breath quieted as Edward blew out of his mouth and a sound escaped the back of his throat, the beginning of a word –

The doorbell rang and I heard the click of shoes against the floor. A door opened and suddenly, the air was tense and anxiety filled. The smell from earlier, the perfectly sweet smell that reminded me of sweet peas drifted around me. Her heels clicked against the floor loudly in an even rhythm with every step she took and I knew that she was coming to stake her claim on him. She was coming to show that she was in command of me and that I could do nothing to stop her. I was just the blind gazelle pretending to be a tiger. She knew that and she had come here to take everything right before throwing the massacred remains of her meal in my face and torturing me.

Edward sighed beside me before I felt his weight shift on the couch, causing me to sink in a bit. "I'll be back in just a moment. I promise." 'I promise' my ass.

EPOV

I was seething. No, seething wasn't a strong enough word. Whatever I was, it wasn't good. Tanya, the one person that I hadn't truly thought about since I met Bella, was here, now. But apparently, just the fact that she had ruined my evening as well as Bella's, that was enough to turn my blood to ice.

Tanya had been a good person, always polite and respectable and understanding. But something happened a few months before I saw her cheating on me with Laurent. She had become much clingier, more like the girls here in Forks than herself. At first, I thought maybe she had been trying to show me something, something I was missing. But after setting my mind to finding out what it was, I couldn't figure it out. Leave it to the naivety of a teenage male's mind to figure out that his girlfriend wants to take the next step in the relationship, the one step he is unwilling to climb because he believes in sex after marriage.

She smirked at me, trying her best to hold my gaze with the blue eyes I used to love to see, but it wasn't working anymore. They were now cold and more like ice than the ocean water. The Ice Queen would have been jealous of her steely gaze.

"Well Edward, it was a bit of a surprise to see you there at the restaurant. I honestly didn't expect you to move on so fast. For you, that would even seem, promiscuous?" She smiled coyly, her ruby red lips lifting at the corners in a way that was demeaning.

"Yes, I'm sure two years of wait would definitely be promiscuous of me. Maybe I should take a look at your book. What was the total last time, a couple different men a day?" I said sarcastically and with venom as her gaze faltered for a mere second before returning to a falsely confident look. I knew the way I was behaving was off from what she had ever seen from me. Around her, I was always the gentlemen, treating her like a lady, but she was no longer the lady I thought she was.

She looked down, her blonde hair tied into a French twist and only slightly falling around her face as she stared at the ground.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you, I just…I needed to feel something and Laurent had always been there, saying that he would always be there for me and I just wanted to be comforted, to know I was beautiful and that I was worth it. Please, just forgive me. Maybe we can start back where we cut off." The voice in which she was speaking was soft and almost agonizing to listen to. I was tempted to hold her, even if I didn't care about her romantically anymore. She had been my first love (though I admit now that that was never truly love) and I felt that I owed her something in the very least for the time she gave. Little did I know that as soon as I came forward, she would throw herself at me.

Teeth bumped against my own while she pressed her lips readily to my own. Nothing registered in my except for one person: Bella. How could I do this to her? Allowing another woman to kiss me while my love waited inside for me to fulfill my promise. And her silence from when we left the restaurant, the pained and frozen expression on her face as I drove and tried to force myself to speak…

Reality hit me like many things could at that moment. I realized that I wanted for someone to hit me with a battering ram at this moment for having not realized what was wrong with Bella. Did she think that I was leaving her or that I would go back to Tanya? No, she couldn't have thought that. Not when I had specifically told her that my past was the past and there was no way I would ever go back to it to dwell in the memories. No, she couldn't believe that…

But who was I kidding? Bella's low self-esteem and the inability to see my expressions put together were a horrible combination that only led to self-destruction. She heard what Tanya had said. She knew that I didn't disagree with Tanya's accusations for one reason: if I even spoke beyond what my mind could conjure up, I'm sure that someone would have called the police for them to pick up the raging teenager outside the restaurant because he was disturbing the peace with his unclean mouth.

I pushed Tanya away from me quickly, not even a second passing after she had first placed them on mine. How dare she use sympathy to try and get me back!

"Tanya, I didn't say it before but I feel the need to make myself clear. We are through! I'm not taking you back after all that you've done, all that you've lied about. Now you have Laurent. Go to him and tell him how you were so sorry. Please, the only thing you're sorry about was getting caught in the act." She just stared at me with a pout and wide yet icy eyes, eyes that held no sorrow but rather, a vengeance.

"But Edward, I meant it. I know it was wrong and I shouldn't have done it but Laurent was a last resort! You had been getting distant and weren't even listening to me half the time. I just thoug –" the cracking of rocks cut her off.

"Don't you dare blame this on Edward," whispered Bella, her arms shaking at her sides, her dress swaying lightly as the cool breeze blew through the trees. Her eyes, despite her disability, were focused solely on the evil being before me, unwavering and so confident, so unlike the Bella I knew. But, I found that amongst this confident gaze was something I loved. The fire, the pure defiance that seemed to rage through her veiled eyes, was burning, flaring up at me in a way that had me nearly sweating. I wanted to beg her, plead to her for forgiveness for the mistakes I had made. The air of authority made me feel as if she was my queen and I was nothing but a servant to her, a measly existence that would serve her for eternity just because he wanted to be ruled by her and her alone.

The innocent gaze that Tanya had been sporting was long gone and replaced with a smirk and angry eyes.

"Oh, look at who it is. So, did Edward tell you yet?" I looked to her, confused.

"Tell her what exactly?" Tanya smiled proudly, as if she had just discovered something great and unimaginable.

"Oh, just that we're getting back together." My eyes shot to Bella where the fire was still burning, smoldering and flaming hot bluish black flames. I could hardly see the warm brown in her eyes anymore. The light from the house emitted an orange light that glared off of Bella's dark eyes, leaving them startlingly fierce looking, like those of a wild jaguar.

"Bella, she's lying, I swear. I would nev –" she cut me off with a mere wave of her hand. She stepped up to Tanya, standing two inches shorter and only a foot away from her. Tanya's personal space had been invaded and it looked as though she wanted to move back but couldn't.

"Is that so, Tanya?" Tanya smirked again with a triumphant look on her face. She had gotten Bella to react negatively to her statement and now she was going to back up her answer in the only way she knew how: to lie.

But just as she was about to open her mouth, a loud resounding crack echoed through the air and a loud, wailing cry could be heard. Had I not been watching closely, I wouldn't have seen Bella's fist lift up and hit Tanya directly in the nose.

"You bitch! Oh god, you broke my nose!" Bella stepped away from the hunched over Tanya and walked towards the house. Over her shoulder, she called out, "Make sure to tell your lawyer that the girl who punched you was blind. I'm sure that anyone who works for you needs a good laugh."

--

Unsurprisingly, Tanya didn't call her lawyers. She was embarrassed enough as it was and when Carlisle drove her to the hospital, she wouldn't even look at me. When I walked into the house, it seemed that the mood had lifted substantially from earlier. Esme had a little skip in her step and Alice was practically full out dancing throughout the house. Jasper was humming quietly as he read over a few documents on the table and Rosalie's foot was lightly going along with an unheard beat as she read a fashion magazine and twirled a strand of hair around her thin finger. The only person I couldn't see was Bella.

Esme snuck up on me to put a hand on my shoulder.

"She's in your room. That girl, I don't know her very well but I know this. She makes you happy and that's all that matters." She looked up at me with understanding but sad eyes. "For a girl who has lost so much, she sure does light up the house, doesn't she?" I nodded knowingly, a smile coming to my face. Esme handed me a tray I hadn't noticed her holding and ushered me up the stairs.

My mind raced as I stood outside the door. What should I say? What could I do to make this better? There was really only one way to find out. I turned the knob and made my way in awkwardly, balancing the tray on one hand.

Bella was lying on her back on the floor, staring unseeing at the light above her.

"I come baring gifts," I said playfully though the moment seemed all too intimate for any playfulness. Bella was lying on my floor, her dress sliding up her thigh and her long legs bare for me to see. Damned hormones were getting to me. I sat on the floor beside her, laying the tray of crackers, cheese and fruit down carefully.

"You know what I miss most about being able to see?" She didn't wait for an answer. "It's not really the ability but rather, it's the people and things I love that I wish I could see. If I were able to see them, I feel like I can appreciate them so much more for who they are because even the way they look is apart of them. And if I could see them, maybe they would feel some sort of reassurance. They would know that I wouldn't be leaning on them for support and they'd know that my love for them wasn't based solely on my disability. I miss that more than anything else." There was sadness in her voice and I longed to hold her, to comfort her and prove to her that everything would be okay.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I didn't think Tanya would follow us home or that she would be at the restaurant. Just please don't believe that I would ever leave you for her. I would never fall for her again." Bella shook her head, closing her eyes and not allowing me to see them.

"Edward, surprisingly, it's not Tanya. It's everyone else." I stared, confused by what she meant. Hadn't this all been about Tanya?

"Don't give her so much credit. Not only does she not deserve it but she's not the only girl out there than can steal you from me." I opened my mouth to protest but she placed her fingers to my face until they touched the very corner of my lips. She had missed her target. I smiled.

"Don't argue with me. Just listen." I nodded, my lips still covered by her two delicate fingers. The smell of her skin was drifting up to my nose and driving me crazy. "You may not see it now, but if you haven't noticed, girls are willing to do everything in their power to get you. Apparently, your presence in this town has greatly increased the libido of nearly fifty percent of the female population." I chuckled onto her fingers while she struggled to keep a straight face. "So when you realize there is so much more out there other than the blind girl and that you want someone else, please," she begged lightly, her eyes wide and innocent. "Please don't lie to me, okay? If you don't tell me and let things continue to dwell on, I don't think we could ever even remain friends after that. And this is no time to be self-sacrificing. If you stop liking me, please swear to me that you will leave me. If my blindness was the only reason why you felt the need to stay behind, I would never be able to forgive myself." Tears escaped her eyes and my fingers lifted automatically to wipe them dry. She leaned into my touch and I held her.

"But I only want you," I murmured into her hair, holding her tightly to my chest in hope that maybe this was all a dream but also denying myself the idea that any of this could be fiction.

"For now," she replied sadly. Angry at Tanya for forcing the love of my life to doubt her hold on me, I tightened my hold on her.

"I suppose I'll have to prove to you that you are the only one that will ever capture my interest. No one will ever have chained me as you have." I felt her smile against my chest and I lifted her head up to meet my gaze.

"Time sounds like a good idea." She smiled up at me as I leaned in to kiss her. Just as my lips touched hers in the sweetest tasting kiss I would ever experience, we were interrupted by my cell phone ringing. I groaned against her lips while she laughed and pulled away, pulling my cell phone out of my pocket for me and answering it.

"Hey Emmett, guess what?" She smirked at me, a glint in her eyes. "I just punched a blonde in the face."

A/N (READ THIS NOW): I'm done! Okay, excuses, excuses, excuses, I know. You all must be annoyed with me by now. But I swear that I don't intentionally do this to you all. Contrary to common belief, I hate making you all wait. I just wish that my mind could send all the words I want to type out to the computer and it would just write itself. Things would be so much easier. Okay, time for the excuses.

One: Life in general. I now take pre-calculus (it sounds hard too). For those of you who don't know, I suck at math but I have to pass this in order to go to UIL. Mr. Hooper is counting on me to lead my section properly.

Two: Stress. Stress is a huge thing for me. I really didn't know that it ruled my life that much until after the new semester started. When pre-cal started, things started changing. I started breaking out, my insomnia got worse and I found I couldn't sleep properly, my hair started splitting at the ends all the way to the roots, my skin problem (a type of psoriasis/dandruff on my scalp) came back, my weight loss has been at a stand still, and I got the flu because it feels like my immune system has given up on me. And what's worse is that because of all this stuff, I feel like crap..all the time. Plus I have this rash thing on my collar bone that starts itching and turning red every time I get nervous. That's annoying.

Three: My laptop has a virus. My computer automatically picks up my home's wireless signal so whenever it isn't fully disconnect (that takes awhile to do by the way), pop ups start attacking me, asking if I want to find an adult friend in the Edinburg area or if I want to buy Viagra. To both those questions, I have to say no but they keep coming back full force. The techs as school didn't get rid of the virus when I brought it in to them so I'm going to have to wait for awhile before they can just reset my computer.

So there you have it. Things suck right now. I'm tired and haven't slept for approximately 17 hours. Mood is….eh. But I'm freaking proud of this chapter! I like that Bella punched a blonde in the face! I'm glad they the two lovers have come to a strange understanding! I'm glad a blonde got punched in the face! I'm glad that Bella is doubting the relationship between herself and Edward (it's realistic..by the way, I'd like to thank all my blind and visually impaired readers for giving me advice. Without your approval, this story wouldn't mean nearly as much to me as it does now)! I'm glad (not Hefty)! Oh, and hopefully you all will notice the subtle hintings that Bella left for Edward ("It's not really the ability but rather, it's the people and things I love that I wish I could see.")

I'll try my best to update sooner next time, but it depends on how things are going in my life. I have a concert this Thursday and I have to play my solo (talk about nerve wracking). Anyway, REVIEW!!!!

Oh yeah, for those of you who haven't looked at my profile or don't have me on author alert, I'd just like to let you know that I have a few other stories out that you may or may not know about that I would appreciate if you read them. Here they are:

Nothing Says 'I Love You' Like an Amber Alert (funniest story I've ever written)

Human Trafficking (becoming a big hit with the reviewers of rated M stories)

Isabella Marie Swan Volturi (will sometimes be referred to as IMSV)

Two Minutes to End, Two Minutes to Begin (not my favorite story ever but I still like it)

And there's more for anyone who cares to know!