Ranger

Dios! I wasn't expecting to see General Plum in Shorty's. Stephanie having to call her mother so soon wasn't ideal, but she really didn't have another choice. Frank was right. It would be much worse if Helen didn't hear the news from Stephanie. I could hear Helen screaming in Stephanie's ear.

Buck Shorty approached us, his dark eyes took in the scene. His hair had turned completely gray in the past few months. With a look of determination, he motioned for the room reserved in the back for private parties. "Manoso, I believe your group would be more comfortable here," Buck said. I placed a protective hand on Stephanie's back and gently guided her to the private room. My men quickly followed.

"Thank you," Stephanie said as she walked past Buck. Stephanie looked around the room. The window along the wall was tinted. You could see outside, but nobody could see inside. An emergency exit was to the left of the picturesque windows. I knew it led to the parking lot out back. Stephanie sat facing the widow. I sat across the table to watch the door leading to the main restaurant. Lester and Hector sat on either side of Stephanie. Tank and Bobby flanked me.

We expected the waitress to serve our meals, but Buck handled our orders himself. It was unusual for him to wait tables. "I won't risk my waitress letting anyone else in the room," Buck replied when Stephanie asked. "I've got Ramon watching the door." Buck motioned toward the door to the restaurant.

I raised an eyebrow. Ramon was on patrol. Why was he here? "Carlos, where are you going?" Stephanie asked when I stood up. I walked around the table to explain.

"To get Ramon's report," I quietly said. "He must have news to deliver directly to me." I kissed Stephanie's cheek and nodded at Hector. The men watched as I quickly slipped out the door.

Ramon reported that Manny saw Joe Morelli tear from the Stark Street alley like a bat out of hell twenty minutes ago. He drove past Rangeman, where Junior picked up the trail. Junior was following Morelli and would report if he got close to Shorty's. I nodded before returning to Stephanie.

Not missing a beat, Stephanie asked, "My ex-husband's driving around town, isn't he?" My lip twitched in amusement.

"Yes," I replied, unwilling to lie to my wife. Stephanie shrugged, then dug into her pasta.

"Hopefully, he runs out of gas," Stephanie mumbled. Lester snorted, making her grumble about speaking aloud. She chewed on the mouthful of food, then wiped her mouth with her napkin. "He fills the tank on Wednesday morning. It's always the same day," Stephanie explained, rolling her eyes. She checked her watch. "His should be down to a quarter of a tank. If he's wasting time driving around Trenton, it won't take long to run out."

"You know his habits quite well," Bobby said. "Here's to Morelli running out of gas." Bobby raised his glass, toasting Morelli's bad habit."

Stephanie snorted and raised her water glass. She tapped it with Bobby's beer, then took a sip. "I learned to keep my fuel tank topped up, or I'd get stranded with a baby. That was delicious," Stephanie said, placing her fork on the empty plate.

"Did that happen?" I asked.

"Once," she replied. Her face contorted in discomfort before she belched. "Oh, my God." Stephanie's hands covered her face. I could see her face turned red in embarrassment.

Lester had a fist shoved against his mouth. He was shaking from silent laughter. Hector gently rubbed Stephanie's back. It was strange to see him comforting a woman - anyone really. Hector wasn't the type, but he did it for Stephanie.

My Babe turned to Hector and hid her face in his neck. Hector glared at Lester over Stephanie's head. "Sorry, Beautiful," Lester said to my wife, "I didn't mean to laugh. Everybody burps."

"That was a perfect ten," Tank said, making Stephanie's shoulders shake.

"Way to go," Bobby said, "you made her cry."

The cutest snort came from my wife. She pushed away from Hector, laughing. "Are we keeping score, Big Guy?" Stephanie teased.

Tank shrugged his right shoulder. "It was worth a shot to make you laugh. I bet you can give the men a run for their money. Santos and Rodriguez have burping contests," Tank replied.

"Men and their fascination with bodily functions," Stephanie groaned. "I bet they have pissing contests too." Lester and Bobby snorted. My wife hit the nail on the head.

I dropped a few hundred dollars on the table to pay for lunch. Shorty arrived to collect the money and disarm the emergency door. "Is something wrong?" I asked.

"I saw the asshole drive past the front," Shorty replied, opening the door. Stephanie rolled her eyes. Joseph Morelli was predictable.

Tank rushed forward to assess the parking lot before I exited the restaurant with my wife. Hector was a step behind, with Bobby and Lester watching our backs. Ramon, Ram, Cal and Hal exited the room to the restaurant. They would keep Morelli from getting the drop on us.

I unlocked the car and guided Stephanie to the door. She gasped before sliding inside. As I jogged around to the driver's side, I caught Morelli turning in the road. His car slowed halfway through the U-turn.

"He turns the vehicle around, hoping to rescue the woman from her captor. Oh, no! The car sputtered to a stop. What will he do?" Stephanie said, holding her phone to her mouth, pretending it was a microphone. Babe was right. Morelli ran out of gas.

"Babe?" I asked.

"Shhh," she replied. "Batman's car starts," she said, the engine roaring to life. I backed out of the parking spot, then put the car in gear. "Batman leaves his hideaway as the asshole exits his car. What is the asshole doing? He jumps out of his vehicle, leaving the door open. The asshole is running - trying to save the damsel who isn't in distress."

Stephanie laughed as Joseph Morelli ran after my car. "And he rounds the corner, chasing after the Porsche 911 turbo. Who does he think he is? Superman? He attempts to run faster than a speeding bullet. Oh no! He falters, tripping over his feet and falling on his face. The fool forgot his red cape at home," she said. Stephanie was attempting to keep a straight face while commentating. "Carlos, can you turn the car around? I want to see if he has road rash on his face."

I humour Stephanie and drive around the block. "Babe?" I asked when she rolled down the window.

"Hey, fuckwit. Next time, wear a crash helmet," Stephanie yelled as we slowly drove past Morelli. His rant got cut off when Stephanie rolled up her window.

"Feel better?" I asked.

"Absolutely," she replied. "It's a shame I didn't catch it on video." A few seconds later, Stephanie snorted.

"Babe?"

"I totally caught it all on video," she said, laughing.

Joe

My phone rang, interrupting my nooner with Joyce Barnhardt. "Harder," Joyce cried. I continued pumping into her from behind while reaching into my back pocket for my phone. We were in a dark alley on Stark Street. I had the back door open. Joyce was on her hands and knees, begging me to get her off. She moaned when I yanked on her hair. I had to be careful while pulling to avoid removing the hair extensions.

"Quiet," I ordered. Joyce panted as I answered the call. "Morelli."

Helen's voice replied, "Your wife came home."

"Where is she?" I demanded.

"She said Trenton. I could hear people talking and forks dragging along plates," Helen replied. "Does that help?"

"Yes," I answered Helen as I spilled into Joyce's loose snatch. I wondered if Helen could hear my stomach slap against Joyce's ass. Anyone who had sex would recognize the noise.

"What on earth are you doing, Joseph?" Helen asked.

"Nothing," I replied, pulling from Joyce. I smiled when my semen ran down her thigh. Joyce grinned over her shoulder before shoving the vibrator inside the space my dick vacated. I watched as she pleasured herself. Joyce leaned forward while spreading her legs. My body responded to the visual.

"Don't lie to me," Helen snarled.

"I'm working, Helen."

"Bring your wife home," Helen said before hanging up.

I lined myself up and shoved into Joyce's ass. It was a tighter fit, which turned me on. She moved the vibrator around until I could feel it on my dick. "Ahhh. Cupcake," I said, spilling into Joyce a second time. She screamed my name. A fine sheen of sweat covered her ass. The stench of semen and her fluids mixed in the car. I grabbed a wet wipe to clean myself.

"Thanks for the ride, Joey. Can you give me a lift to my car?" Joyce asked as she pulled down her skirt. She didn't bother cleaning herself. I stopped her from climbing into the front seat.

"Get the fuck out of my car," I snapped. I didn't have time to drive Joyce back to the bonds office. Finding Cupcake was my top priority.

Her gaze turned hard. "Fuck off, Joe," Joyce said before stomping away. I cringed when I looked into the back. Semen and lubricant stained the seat. I used another wet wipe to remove the evidence.

After dropping the soiled wipes in the trunk with the others, I got into my car and tore out of the alley. The trunk needed to get cleaned. It was either a forensic analyst's dream or nightmare, depending on how much they enjoyed collecting evidence. I drove past Manny Ramos, standing on the corner of Stark and State. Manny leaned against the building and lifted his phone to his ear. I didn't have time to worry about what the thug was doing. The light turned red, forcing me to stop. Lula, my favourite playmate, approached my car. I rolled down the window. "Are you here to play?" Lula asked, leaning into the car. "It smells like you already got some." Lula stepped away when the light turned green. I promised to meet her in a few days before I stepped on the gas pedal.

The fuel gauge indicated I had under a quarter tank of gas. It was too soon to fill my car. I was on a tight budget. Buying takeout was expensive. Mom refused to cook meals. I got the occasional casserole and lasagna from Grandma Bella. She would get one of her friends to drive to my house to deliver the food.

I wondered if Stephanie returned after learning I filed a missing person's report. It was necessary to take the pressure and suspicion off me. People actually thought I had killed Stephanie, then disposed of her body in the Pine Barrens. I turned on the radio to drown out the cries. Stephanie never should have put the child in the car. Joey's death hit me hard. I blamed her for Joey's death. What happened to love, honour and obey? Cupcake broke our vows that day. I told her to stay home. She didn't obey my command.

Stephanie filed for divorce shortly after the funeral. She took a cab and moved to her Uncle Joe's house. I only signed the divorce decree when Stephanie agreed to give me the vehicles, house, our savings and half of the insurance money from Joey's death. I wasn't a total asshole. Stephanie got to take Joey's pictures and a few other mementos. She took her clothes but left the jewelry behind.

I grinned, thinking about the day Stephanie got her rings appraised. She actually thought I had spent a small fortune on her engagement ring. It looked flashy, but nothing about it was real. Terry wore my grandmother's engagement ring. She claimed it belonged to her mother. Only I knew the truth because Grandma was dead. Mom never saw the ring. She assumed Grandma sold it.

Driving around Trenton was seriously burning away the remaining fuel in my gas tank. I went to Stephanie's favourite eateries in the Burg. She wasn't in Pino's, Rossini's or Chick-fil-A. I even checked the Taco Bell close to the TPD. There were a few more places to check, but no respected Burg resident visited the establishments. It didn't hurt to check.

In my peripheral vision, I saw a glimpse of Stephanie, my Cupcake, my wife. Technically, Stephanie was my ex-wife, but my vows were until death we do part. She was mine until one of us died. I turned around to get a better look. A few things happened simultaneously. The fuel gauge flashed and chimed while my car sputtered, stopping mid-turn in the middle of the road.

Manoso got into his car and rushed from the parking lot. I jumped out of my car, leaving the door open. The Porsche turned the corner. I chased after it, pushing my legs to the limit. What was Manoso doing with my wife?

My face smashed into the road, scraping my nose and chin. What the fuck? I sat in the street, gathering my bearings. My shoelace had untied. "Of all the fucking things to make me fall!" I screamed.

The Porsche slowly approached. Stephanie yelled, "Hey, fuckwit. Next time wear a crash helmet," as Manoso droves past.

"I'll get you away from that thug, Cupcake," I screamed. "You're mine."

Eddie Gazarra and Robin Russell arrived. Robin shook her head as she wrote the ticket for my car. She tucked it beneath the wiper and smiled. "An officer parking in the middle of the street," Robin said, shaking her head. "You know better than that, Morelli."

I felt the vein in my forehead pulsating, reaching dangerous levels. Robin added a second ticket below the wiper. "What are you doing?" I demanded.

"You abandoned your vehicle in the street, causing an accident," Robin said, grinning. She pointed to what used to be my driver's side door, mangled on the sidewalk.

"Blow into this," Eddie said, holding the breathalyzer to my mouth.

"I'm not drunk!" I screamed. Could the day get any worse?

"Then do the test and prove it," Eddie snarled. He read the display, then checked his watch. "Already three sheets to the wind, and it's only 1 pm." Eddie shook his head. "Add DUA, Robin."

"I'm not drunk!" I repeated.

"The breathalyzer says differently. Are you going to cooperate, or should Robin add resisting arrest to your charges?" Eddie asked. I shook my head. "Joseph Morelli, you're under arrest for driving while under the influence," Eddie said. I tuned him out as he continued to read my rights.

Fuck!