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So after me and Jack made up I thought you guys would be wanting reassurance that she didn't come through the window on a ripcord or something with a gun. Nope. Seems Jack is staying true to his word and COW does not even know about us reconnecting. So far so good.

It has been a couple of months now and the little ones light up when they see him, as do I. I don't bother hiding it, neither does he as he kisses me and expertly snatches whichever child I am holding. Seems like I am always holding one. My question is… am I being a helicopter tad? I don't want to end up like her and Jack but he seems to think I am too cloistering. I pick them up all the time, walk around with whichever one is grizzly on my hip and generally 'smother' them, according to him.

I do have one on my hip a lot, because they need me. Of course if one is in a grizzly mood I will cuddle and love more. The other is usually un-phased by this and I do share the cuddles. I do not favor one over the other in any way but Jack seems to think I have Rane more than Riana. Yeah. Because Jack has her CONSTANTLY. He is besotted and after a cuddle with Rane he scoops her up and settles with her for the afternoon. I don't know why he doesn't see it.

I need to make him see that they will notice sooner or later as well.

Any advice would be grand.

On another note, he has made some overtures about us being more serious again and I have noticed more if his things arriving. I know we never talked about him moving in but I do know I made it clear that this is their home and I am not going anywhere. I said that a few times… this is home now… and maybe he took that as some sort of invitation? I don't know. But he has clothes in the drawers, closet and toiletries in the bathroom because I always buy the wrong stuff or something… that pissed me off as I always got the same stiff and I can only assume COW is buying him shit and telling him it's superior to the shit I always had for him. Whatever. Still, she creeps in doesn't she?

At the moment we have a stalemate where I pick stuff back into his bag while he isn't looking. Childish I know but I don't know how to broach the subject head on. Never have. Why we failed in the first place I think now. Maybe we need some sort of therapy or something?

So the babies are six months old now. Can you imagine? Rane is already trying to crawl, commando style. He has this cute little face he pulls that is so damned serous as he grabs for a toy, then grunts as he sort of shoves himself closer. Riana cannot be more disinterested. I am worried Jack is not letting her stand and exercise enough. I have looked online and think walkers or swings might help where their little feet touch the ground and they can kick and take their body weight. I saw some different ones and think I will order one each for them. I know Jack will object and tell me it will stunt their growth or some COW-like comment. I don't care anymore. He has no power over me.

I just want Riana to catch up to her brother. But, on that topic, she is more advanced with her sounds. I hear a distinct Dadadaa when she sees Jack's sleek SUV pull up outside the large sliding doors, the glass making him see her too and he grins so wide, so does she. He used to smile at me like that when I entered a room.

Rane is not speaking, just baby gibberish still so that is somewhere she is ahead of him. I try not to compare them as I know each one is moving at their own pace but… I do hope for a Tada from one of them soon too. You are all right, I shouldn't have read so many baby books LOL.

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The little swings arrived and they are so damned cute. I got a purple one and a red one as I don't want to gender-type these two into blue and pink. Immediately Rane started to hoist himself towards the purple so it looks like he chose that one.

There are little seats that go up their bodies and encase them and the height is adjustable so their feet are on the ground but they are supported. After some trial and error I find that they want to face each other and kick with their feet, laughing like hyenas at their toes and such. If they start getting too excited I part them more and Rane is already kicking off to swing to get to his sister again.

Riana is more inclined to use her feet to turn herself in circles so she sort of bunches up the little ropes, then lift her feet so she swings back the other way in a weird sort of midair pirouette that makes her laugh so much she chokes.

I have no idea why she does this but seems to love it so… whatever floats her boat right? She is lifting herself up in the seat and taking her weight so I now wonder if she is going to crawl at all or is going to be one of those babies that simply walks. Maybe I have been over judging the Beans and need to just let them explore and evolve as they should. Right? Am I fluffing?"