Itachi hadn't quite known if he'd wake up after the battle, but once he does he
finds it difficult to muster up any sense of relief or gratitude on the matter. This is mostly on account of his head being far too preoccupied feeling as though it's being forcefully rent in two to allow for much else.
For a time he simply exists—riding out the pain as the world around him drifts with a rhythmic ebb and flow that very nearly lulls him back to oblivion. He's moving, he eventually comes to realize, but not under his own power. The wind bites at his face and tugs at his hair and he is weightless, until gravity catches up to him again and the pattern begins anew.
It's almost funny, he can't recall the last time someone carried him anywhere and now his mind struggles to reconcile the idea with his fiercely reserved captain. He's fairly certain it's Kakashi's wiry back he's draped across, at least. He hasn't opened his eyes to check, considering how much his head aches already he prefers to delay that action as long as possible.
Thinking of his aches and pains does remind him that he really should take stock of himself and catalog his injuries. Wrangling his thoughts for the task, however, proves to be a bit like climbing up a slippery slope without the benefit of chakra, and all his self-diagnosis reveals is that his head is hurting a lot more than anything else at the moment. Even his leg isn't bothering him as much as it had the last time he was conscious.
Perhaps that should be concerning, though Itachi won't know for certain unless he acquires further information. Deciding he shouldn't put it off any longer, he carefully begins to pry his eyes open. Doing so is instantly unpleasant. The noonday sun is unrepentant as it shines down from its perch high in the sky, piercing through the branches above and reflecting off patches of white that dot the landscape. Each pinprick of light blossoms into intensely bright starbursts of nauseating color. It's like seeing the world through the spinning effect of a child's kaleidoscope.
He squints against the harsh light, fighting the urge to close his eyes again. It takes time, but his eyes do begin to adjust and eventually he can see more than dazzling spots and the blur of wintery scenery passing him by. As suspected, his captain is the one carrying him, the scrape along his shoulder bandaged and his ANBU mask recovered to its proper place. Itachi's own mask is curiously secured to his belt and when he finally manages to look further down and examine his leg he finds fresh bandages wrapped tightly over his wound, much neater than the hasty field dressing he'd managed with his Kage Bunshin as a distraction. Familiar green cloth peaks out from between the bandages and he wonders at how much of their limited supplies he must have bled through for Kakashi to resort to sacrificing his scarf. Likely his injury was made worse in his fall earlier; that combined with his very likely concussion easily explains why his thoughts are so hopelessly scattered.
Still, he really should find a way to make amends for the loss. Though worn and ragged, the scarf has been cared for—perhaps is even a keepsake. Itachi has noted several patch jobs neatly woven into the sage green fabric. Furthermore, it had been Kakashi's one concession against the bitter chill that still clings to the air now.
Idly, Itachi tries to decide if his mother would entertain the idea of teaching him to knit so that he might fashion a replacement, even as he knows his father will never stand for the "distraction" from his growing responsibilities. Perhaps he can commission it then.
As he tries to recall which of the village artisans his clan favors for textile work a ryō-sized drop of snowmelt spatters against the high collar of his tunic before dribbling over his shoulder to begin a painfully sluggish journey down his spine. Despite wearing comparably warmer clothing to his captain's he can't help but stiffen at the unexpected discomfort.
Beneath him Kakashi takes notice. "Ah, awake are we?"
This Itachi is certain Kakashi has known since the moment he awoke. But politesse—or perhaps kindness—has prompted his captain to grant him time to collect himself. Rather than dwell on such things, he seizes the opportunity to inquire after more pressing concerns, "the mercenaries?"
"All neutralized," Kakashi answers succinctly.
That's good. Leaf shinobi, nor anyone else for that matter, will be falling into their traps ever again. At least their latest bout of misfortune has benefited the safety of future travelers. It's a small comfort—and, personally, Itachi hopes his next assignment won't be quite so harrowing.
"You still with me?" Kakashi glances back at him to check that he hasn't passed out. "How're your eyes holding up?"
Itachi considers before attempting an honest assessment. With effort he's able to make out more detail now from their surroundings as Kakashi continues to rush them toward Konoha. He doesn't dare try with his Sharingan just yet. His eyes are still sensitive, protesting at each swath of blazing light they pass beneath, and his migraine has yet to abate. He reports as much, speculating that the blow to his head may be as much to blame as the flashbangs for his hazy vision.
"Head trauma," Kakashi says with the understanding of experience. "Try closing your eyes and don't keep it to yourself if you start to feel worse."
Itachi does as instructed, accepting that he's going to remain a passenger for the foreseeable future. They can't afford to delay their return—not with the sensitive scroll in their possession—and he's reasonably certain none of their injuries are severe enough to warrant it. Although, that only serves to bring another intrusive thought to mind, one he can't seem to help but share, "You seemed to handle the flashbangs rather admirably." While perhaps not as reliant on the Sharingan, Kakashi's senses are sharp. Itachi can't imagine the experience was any less agonizing for him.
There's a beat of hesitation, then, "There's an interrogation technique I copied once, a jutsu that can deaden the senses by altering a victim's chakra flow. It's used to inflict sensory deprivation. Never thought I'd be casting it on myself."
Itachi hadn't realized such a technique existed. But then it seems there is much in the shadows of shinobi work he is yet unfamiliar with. He's curious as to where Kakashi picked it up, but even with his thoughts slipping where they shouldn't he's not careless enough to ask.
In lieu of a potentially tactless line of questioning, silence begins to lapse over them. It's not a peaceful sort of silence. Something unsaid hangs heavy in the air that Itachi can't place a name to. He has to wonder if he somehow managed to say something upsetting without realizing it. As guarded as his captain is, Itachi is truthfully not much more adept at expressing his own feelings, let alone making sense of them in others. He knows this as it's become a common target for Shisui's teasing. His cousin is quite fond of lamenting that without him Itachi would surely get fed up at some point and split off from the village to live out the rest of his days an incorrigible recluse, only to ever so occasionally venture back into the fringes of society for a taste of proper, civilized tea, accompanied with an indulgence of dango to satisfy his sweet tooth, before vanishing off the face of the earth once more.
Itachi likes to believe he's not truly so hopeless and does his best to wade through the unknown something that's settled between him and Kakashi and think of something to say.
Surprisingly, Kakashi beats him to it. "What you did back there was risky, you know."
The words are delivered so casually it takes Itachi and his wandering thoughts a moment or two to catch their meaning. Once he does he can't help but frown. "Given our options, I thought the odds acceptable."
No more risky than leaving Kakashi to face the mercenaries alone with the flashbang traps still intact, in any case. Itachi feels the results speak for themselves, but for whatever reason his captain doesn't seem to share in his analysis.
"Acceptable?" Kakashi breathes out and Itachi catches a hint of frustration. "If I hadn't gotten to you when I did we might not be having this conversation."
Ah. Itachi thinks they're maybe getting somewhere now. He considers for a moment if he would have acted differently had he not suspected Kakashi would prioritize his safety. But in the end he knows he'd have done his duty and acted in the best interests of the mission, however, the thought of Sasuke's disappointment should he fail to return weighs on him more than it probably should. "I had faith you would do what was necessary."
"You shouldn't put your faith in someone like me," Kakashi says, bitterly. "Maybe things worked out in the end this time but we won't always be so lucky."
Itachi can't quite muffle a noise of protest at that. He surely sounds as incredulous as he feels when he says, "Team Ro is many things, but lucky is not one of them."
His comment seems to startle Kakashi out of whatever dark mood he's fallen into. He hums in a noncommittal sort of way. "Right, probably should have saved this for when you're feeling less concussed."
And Itachi, for all that he's nauseous and hurting, can't let this stand. "In less than a year assigned to the ANBU I've borne witness to 27 cases of inaccurate intel jeopardizing our objectives, 13 instances of enemy reinforcements cropping up where they most certainly shouldn't be and 9 separate occasions when faulty equipment was distributed to our squad."
"You kept count," Kakashi says somewhat faintly.
Itachi shows a modicum of mercy in that he doesn't even bother to bring up that one incident where half the team somehow ended up either getting food poisoning or seasick or both just outside Kirigakure. It's a day all of them would rather forget. Regardless, his point still stands. "To think we could rely on something so fickle as luck to get us through such disastrous missions truly is laughable."
"I suppose trouble does have its way of finding us," Kakashi relents, as if the evidence could possibly be refuted. "Never really thought about it. Guess I've seen a lot of missions go south."
In this Itachi believes wholeheartedly. It's only through hard-won experience someone becomes so adept at altering their plans on the fly the way Kakashi is prone to do. He suspects it's no small part of how they're able to survive the poor hand they are so often dealt. However, there is another reason that he wishes to bring to light. "Captain, there's something I want to know."
"Oh?" Kakashi prompts, sounding equal parts curious and wary.
"It's true, what you said once, that you wouldn't let a friend be killed. So I have to wonder why is it you can't stand for me to do the same."
It really hadn't been so long ago—that first mission where Itachi had inquired after the reputation that hangs over his captain like a dark shroud—and yet he's lost all doubt behind the truth of the answer he'd been given.
Kakashi is less quick with an answer today, going quiet and tense at the echo of his own words, as though he never expected they'd find their way back to him. He hesitates at the next branch and Itachi opens his eyes, but whatever his captain's thinking is well hidden behind masks both literal and figurative. And yet, this doesn't feel quite so wrong-footed as the silence from before, so Itachi waits and before long his patience is rewarded. Though, when Kakashi next speaks it's so low he questions if he is even meant to hear. "Obito must be laughing at me."
It's an odd non sequitur. Itachi himself hadn't been close to Obito, his late cousin being well over a handful of years older and having died before the end of the Third Great Shinobi War. He does know it was by Obito's choice that his Sharingan be entrusted to his teammate, Kakashi—a choice that was honored much to the shock and contempt of many among the Uchiha.
Perhaps it would not be so out of character for Obito to find humor in this disagreement between his old teammate and younger cousin. Itachi will never know for sure.
Louder, Kakashi says, "Itachi, you're an exceptional shinobi. I have no doubt you'll go far within the ANBU or anywhere else you choose to lend your talents." Despite the praise, Itachi doesn't miss the severe undercurrent to it all and listens all the more intently for it. "In the end, it's your life and what you're willing to risk it for is yours alone to decide. Just do me a favor, will you?"
"Yes, Captain?"
Kakashi turns to meet his eyes through the ANBU mask and Itachi gets the barest impression of a smile. "Try not to pick up too many habits from me."
The request is not at all what Itachi expected and he's unsure if he can grant it, but he resolves to try, and in the next breath the tension seeps out of the air and Kakashi himself. His captain continues on, his every move eating up the distance between them and home as if nothing happened.
The world flashes and sways with the sudden return of movement and Itachi lets his eyes fall closed. Soothed by the darkness, he stretches out his other senses, ready should they run into further surprises but largely content to experience the journey without further straining his sight. Kakashi keeps up a steady pace and Itachi expects them to continue on in relative peace for some time now that the air has cleared.
However, it's only a short while later that Kakashi's breath hitches and hugged tight to the older teen's back as he is, Itachi is certain he doesn't imagine the first shudder that travels down his captain's spine.
"Are you cold, Captain?" he asks, experiencing a resurgence of guilt at having relieved Kakashi of his scarf.
"I'm fine," comes the expected, knee-jerk response. And Itachi notes that if anything, his captain is running a bit hot. Now that he's looking for it he can feel excess warmth radiating though his armor. Yet, the shivering persists.
Kakashi must predict his skepticism. "I might have been lightly poisoned," he admits, reluctantly.
Itachi is uncertain how one can be "lightly poisoned", his thoughts turning back to the scratch Kakashi sustained on his left shoulder, opposite his ANBU tattoo, before he reconsiders the severity of their situation. "You should not be exerting yourself. The poison will only spread through your system faster."
Kakashi somehow masters the shivers wracking his frame—likely through sheer force of will alone. "Relax. I took the spread of antitoxin. I can make it to the village."
And he lectures Itachi on risk taking? "And if you're wrong?"
"Then my ninken will have already delivered the scroll. Should the Hokage deem it necessarily based on my report, back up will be on the way shortly," Kakashi answers, unworried, like he isn't racing against the clock with an unknown poison swimming in his blood. It's moments like these where Itachi finds himself sympathizing with Tenzo's recurring exasperation with their captain.
"Besides," Kakashi tacks on with forced cheer, "we're close to the border now. It won't be much farther to an outpost if we really do need to stop."
Itachi lets out a silent breath. At least he doesn't have to completely reevaluate his stance on his captain's ability to plan around unexpected and often deadly setbacks. If only he cared for his own well-being as much as he did for the rest of the squad. It's a strange quirk to be sure, one perhaps Itachi can avoid picking up for himself, if only to spare his teammates the aggravation.
"Captain."
"Hmm?"
"I'll be unable to return the favor and move us to safety should you collapse." Even ignoring their differences in height, the state of Itachi's leg won't allow it.
Kakashi is far too much amused by this for someone flirting with death's door. "You trying to imply something?"
Itachi doesn't rise to the bait. "We should stop at the outpost."
"I won't collapse."
Kakashi, in fact, does not collapse. But only because they do stop at the outpost—mostly at Itachi's staunch insistence, and maybe a bit of playing up his own ailments. It's unclear if Kakashi buys a word of it but he complies all the same, requesting medical assistance the moment they arrive.
Tenzo will still be exasperated. And the rest of the squad will undoubtedly tease them mercilessly for getting into trouble without them, and on such a simple mission. There's likely to be mandatory hospital stays that may or may not be strictly abided by.
Itachi will get to return to his family and dote on his otōto. He'll think back on his captain's well-meant advice. But it won't be enough to prevent him from picking up his own reviled reputation in only a couple year's time—one that shall ensure none look beyond such a perfect mask to his true intentions.
Otōto means little brother.
I find it incredibly interesting how both Itachi and Kakashi wind up carrying fearsome reputations as teenagers that don't line up with their true motivations, even if Kakashi's wasn't intentional. Their characters have a lot in common and I just like to think under different circumstances they might have been good friends, so it was a lot of fun writing them as a team.
