Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry! etc...etc...etc! I've been uber-busy and i'm sorry again that i haven't updated in a while, but i am now!

merry almost christmas! I'm working on the next chapter, so maybe i'll get another one up soon as a christmas present!

okay...so...down to business...I do not own anything New Moon or i would have killed jacob off in a freak dog attack in Port Angeles

soooooo....enjoy this chapter and please please please review!


This So Isn't Repetition!

"Angel, oh my God, is it really you?" I couldn't make sense of the two vampires in front of me being Ava and Angel together. I hadn't seen them together since my birthday! And for good reason! "What the hell are you doing here? Why aren't you in Rio? Don't you realize Edward could die if we don't watch him? What if Victoria came after him? He could—And I could—And then! Ahh!" I was bordering on becoming absolutely frantic. Edward could go try to kill himself in Italy if he isn't being watched. I wonder if Jasper is even there anymore. I bet he isn't! I bet that's why Alice left too! I'm going to have a nice long word with her later!

"Bella! Cool it! Angel is here because I asked him to come back. I missed him." Ava hung her head shamefully. Oh yeah, she better be ashamed. Why didn't she just tell me that she wanted Angel to come back? I could have asked Alice or…wait a minute, Alice! Alice knew that Angel was coming back here! That's what she and Ava were talking about the other day in my car!

"You lied to me about him! You and Alice talked about him coming back! Is Jasper even watching him anymore?"

Angel was the one to keep cool the entire time. He tried to keep both Ava and I calm, seeing as I was practically pulling my hair out and Ava was looking more and more angry by the second. "Jasper took off back in December. He went to stay with Carlisle for a little while. I only left because Edward was starting to get suspicious."

"Starting to? Well, now that you've been gone for however long you've been here, you can go back and watch him again," I maneuvered my way around him to face my searing best friend, "How could you do this? You know what might happen! He could…and then I would have to…and Alice too! And what about the Volturi?!? DID YOU EVEN THINK BEFORE YOU TOLD HIM TO COME?" I was already starting to leak a few angry tears. Why didn't she just tell me about Angel? Why didn't Alice? Or heck, why didn't Angel just tell me himself that he was coming around?

She burst out of Angel's arms and looked like an actual vampire in front of me within a second. "Did I think? What's that supposed to mean? Haven't you thought at all about this? Why don't you just go down there and find Edward for yourself? I don't understand why you haven't done that already! You know he still loves you, you moron! You're just making yourself depressed for no reason!" I tried to interject, but she cut me off with more ranting. "You know, just because you're miserable, that doesn't mean you have to make everyone else around you miserable too!" She practically shrieked at me. If she was a werewolf, she probably would have burst out of her skin by now. Angel was barely able to hold her back.

"I don't—" I tried, not really able to come up with a reply since it was kind of true, despite my best efforts to keep that from happening.

"Yes, you do! First with me and Alice, keeping Angel and Jasper away, and now you're just going to hurt Jacob like the bimbo in the book!"

"Hey! That's not my fault! If I didn't go, Alice would have killed me! And besides, you helped her get me there!" I stopped. I can't believe I'm having this fight with her now. Honestly, I am going to warn Jacob not to fall in love with me, and soon! I just have to find the right words to use. Besides, she's acting like I did all this on purpose. In my defense, she agreed to the idea of Angel and Jasper watching Edward as punishment for them tricking her and Alice! It's not my fault!

"Yeah, I did but only because Alice practically begged me to. I didn't want you getting involved in some sort of stupid love triangle with a werewolf!"

"I'm not going to! I just…I feel like I need him now. Alice was right. He was there for me," I had lowered my voice down to a whisper, but when Angel tried to lay his hand on my shoulder, my anger came flooding back. "At least someone was…unlike my supposed best friend who went behind my back just so she could have a little face time with her boyfriend-slash-husband who lied to her!" I shot Angel a pointed look, but he was too busy watching Ava's reaction.

"I WASN'T THERE FOR YOU?!? I ONLY CAME RUNNING BACK HERE THE SECOND I COULD!" She stopped herself for a second, took a deep breath, then looked back up at me. She had the sort of angry coolness that made it so much worse. "You know what? I'm not even going to bother anymore. I thought that maybe you would be able to get over this by yourself because I thought you were a hell of a lot stronger than the book Bella, but I guess I was wrong."

Let me just clarify something right now. I am not like Bella in the book. I have been responsive and, sure, I've been sad, but I'm not contemplating suicide by cliff-jumping anytime soon. I'm strong enough to be angry at the love of my existence and want to make him pay for what he did rather than welcome him back with open arms. I thought the person who is practically my sister would understand that, but I guess not. "I see. Well, I don't want to disappoint you anymore, so I think I'll just go. Your homework is on the porch." I turned without another word and ran out of the tiny cottage before I could do or say anything else.

I kept saying to myself to keep my composure until I was a good ways down the road, just so she wouldn't hear me cry. Having her say that I wasn't strong enough to handle this felt as bad as anything else I've lived through in these past few months. I think vampires are just really good at making big gaping holes in people appear.

And, on top of everything else, I feel like I can't trust her to help me anymore. What is it with me and my trust issues? I guess I'm not a very trusting person. That's just great, another thing I can add on to the list of why I am now a terrible person.

When I reached the truck, I found that I wasn't alone. Angel was already there waiting for me. "Bella, come on now. You know Ava didn't mean what she said. You know how her temper gets sometime."

He let me push past him and climb into the truck. I thought wistfully about going into Edward's room to have a good tear-fest for a second, but I really didn't want any vampires to be able to hear me. I was about to pull out when I heard the passenger seat door open up. I didn't bother looking over at Angel when I answered him. "Okay, I got it. Ava's got a temper. She's had one since she was born, alright?" I started to turn on the ignition, but I thought of a question that would make or break how angry I was at him and Ava. "Was Edward really starting to get suspicious of you, or did you just make that up?"

He didn't answer for a few minutes. It looked like he was trying to word it correctly. "He's…well, yes he did figure out that I was around, but mainly because I was thinkin' about how dejected he looked. Every time I would see him I would begin to think that he should be coming back here, beggin' you to take him back, just like I begged Ava to forgive me. You never thought about that, did you?"

Truth be told, I hadn't. From what I saw walking in there, it looked like he was pretty much forgiven. "No, I suppose I didn't. I apologize to you, but I'm still mad at her. She's the one who didn't tell me you were coming."

I am amazed at how calm Angel can stay even when I'm ranting and raving about his wife. "She'll be comin' around soon to want to make up, you know that right?"

I smiled a little, but I was still thinking about Edward wherever he was. "Yeah, I know," I waited again before I could ask Angel one other question that had been plaguing my mind ever since November, "Angel? If I asked you exactly how Edward is doing, would you tell me the truth? The whole truth, not the watered down version."

He looked pretty hesitant to answer. "I don't know if you really want the truth, to be honest, Bella."

I smiled again at the thought of Edward not enjoying his 'real' Bella. "Never mind. The fact that you won't even tell me is answer enough for me."

He smiled with a bit of a sad hint. "Bella, I've known Edward for a long time. I know him better than any of my other friends. I've never seen him in any more pain than he is right now." Huh, I wonder if Edward's still wearing the same cloths just like Robert Pattinson in the movie. That's kind of gross if he did. I think I burned the outfit I was wearing when he left along with the cut-out. Angel and I sat in sort of a comfortable silence before I moved to start the truck again. Right before I did, he spoke up again. "Ava's right, you know."

This sparked my interest. "About?" Please don't say about Jacob. Anyway, he shouldn't know about Jacob in the first place. It's not like Ava's told him about all the books or anything. We probably shouldn't have been arguing about what might happen later in this book.

"You goin' after him. You should just drag him back here so that you can both stop brooding all the time." A full blown grin grew across his face, one that looked like a mix somewhere in between Emmett and…the other male Cullen whose name starts with an 'E'.

Which reminded me that I needed to go running to Jacob's soon before I run upstairs to Edward's room and bawl my eyes out. "I'll think about it. I really do need to get going though." While I still hold some semblance of normalcy.

He nodded and jumped out of the truck before I finally turned the ignition. Thankfully there was no random stoppage of the truck on the way to Jake's. I was half-hoping/half-worried that Ava might use her mind to stop my truck again. But nothing happened.

So, I got to Jake's right on time. I was still a little…emotional…from fighting with Ava, so I hoped I didn't look like I was about to cry or anything. Jake ran me inside the garage as soon as I got out of the truck, but stopped me before I moved over to take a look at my two metal babies. "Bella? What's wrong?" He locked his eyes right onto mine, and he knew. Seriously, I was smiling and everything, but he knew anyway.

Creepy.

"Umm, it's nothing. No big deal." I tried to shrug it off, but he wouldn't let me.

"No, it is a big deal. Tell me so you can feel better or else I won't stop bugging you."

I narrowed my eyes at his slight grin, but I could tell that he was trying really hard not to laugh. If anyone had seen us standing there, they would have started laughing their heads off. Here was a like six and a half foot guy staring down still-pretty-darn tall me. The only thing that made me eventually break was the fact that it reminded me too much of the arguments that Edward and I in the last couple of days that he was here that ended with us kissing. I wouldn't be doing anything of the sort with this guy. "Fine. I had a fight with my best friend. Okay? Let's get to work."

I swiveled out of his grasp and walked over to my baby. I'm still working on what to name him or her. Jacob didn't seem to want to work on my babies, though, since he wouldn't let what happened go. "What? Bella! You had a fight with someone today and you're trying to act like everything's okay?"

I sighed again and looked up to meet his worried gaze. "Yes, Jake. That's what I do to get by. It's what I have to do, alright? Everything's going to be fine with me and my friend. We'll forgive each other eventually. We always do. So, please, please, can we work on Thelma and Louise?"

"Thelma and Louise? No, no way are you naming my motorcycle Thelma…or Louise!" Well at least that conversation is over.

I kept on smiling when he didn't go back to our last subject. He looked like he wanted to for a minute, but when I silently pleaded, he kept on with our current subject of names. We bantered back and forth about names for a long time before I decided to name mine Renesmee. Oh sure, he asked, but I kept my secret saying that it was from a book.

Eventually we just started talking about our awesome talents. I got to talk about my piano-playing and subsequent clumsiness and he talked about motorcycles. "Jake, you're awesome at this. Maybe I should bring a robot or something we can make."

"Yeah, I think I could make something like that. If I just get obsessive about it like I do when I have a project. If I had any real brains, though, I would drag out your babies' rebuild a little bit."

Oh, he better not drag these suckers out any longer. I'm going crazy enough already. "Nah, I think not."

He eyed me for a second, looking a little insecure. That's a first. "I don't know. Bella, if I told you that I couldn't fix these bikes, what would you say?"

Oh crap! I forgot about this little question. I have no prepared response. In truth, if he had told me that he couldn't fix them in the first place I would have run out of La Push faster than you could say 'werewolf', but if he told me now…I'm not so sure. I really didn't know what to tell him. If I told him the truth, that would just be bad, but if I lie I'll feel bad. "I think I would have forced you to whether you told me you could fix them or not. But if you're asking if I'll still be around after you're done with them, I'll be around until I get sick of you."

Alright, this kid needs to be an actor. I can't tell right now if he's over-acting or if he's actually hurt. "Until you get sick of me?"

"Or vice-versa. I think you'll get sick of me faster anyway. I'm the broody-slash-depressed one who wears black nail polish and brings a gray demeanor everywhere I go."

He rolled his eyes and sat down next to me. "Bella, we live in the rainiest place in the US. The gray demeanor is not just you."

Thanks for trying Jacob, but you're definitely no Doctor Phil. "So the other stuff is true?"

He smiled, but shook his head. "Well, the black nail polish on occasion, but you aren't the brooding type. You're more the 'I'm smiling but hurting underneath' kind of girl."

Alright, I've had enough talk about my problems. I want to talk about the motorcycles and I want to talk about them now. Or maybe I could bring up his problem. "Stop being so observant! Have you been doing any homework while you were being so observant?" I raised my eyebrows, trying to summon my inner mother to berate him. He looked down and I became aware of three things. The conversation about my issues was over. I won…I won…I won!

And I still love it.


The next few days passed with alarming slowness. Since I wouldn't be hanging out with Ava, I was able to put in some serious time with my New Moon book. I really need to find a good time to tell Jacob that he and I will never be an item, and I really need to call and yell very loudly at Alice for not telling me about Jasper or Angel leaving Edward alone down in wherever the hell he is all alone.

Which made me think about what Ava said going down there after him. I had tried it before, but Alice had pulled me back, reminding me to be strong and get revenge on her dear brother. I think Alice likes the storyline too much and wants everything to happen just so.

Oh well, there are worse tragedies that could happen. Like Ava meeting the creepers in the Volturi. Or Mike Newton becoming a vampire.

Oh, that would be way too weird.

That was another thing I had to work on. Mike had no opportunity to bother me at his parent's shop since I never got a job there, so he bugged me constantly at school now that I was eating and talking to them again. He didn't quite understand why I kept ignoring Ava at school, but that wasn't the focus of his conversations. He wanted to go out with me, plain and simple. And I said no, plain and simple.

Multiple times. Man, I miss Edward. I want him to come back and rip Mike's head off for me. After about the third time that Mike asked me to a movie, I took pity on the poor thing and told him to set up a group thing with anyone who wanted to come next Friday. And just out of the kindness of my heart, I told him to feel free to invite Ava, but to say, pointedly, unless she wasn't too busy with her boyfriend.

She'd somewhat tried to get me to forgive her, but I think she wanted me to admit how utterly stupid I was acting in the first place. Which was something I wasn't planning on doing.

These few days just felt so long, too, because I knew the call would be coming soon. The call that would make me so deliriously happy because it meant I might see Edward again. Well, not might, I would see Edward again. I would also probably get a glimpse at Jacob's torso area, which I was curious to see if his was as…toned…as Taylor Lautner's was in the movie.

Finally after the three decades that were squished into the days that Jacob and I did homework and other things while I waited as patiently as I could for my bikes, he called. I was running down the stairs, eager to get to the phone, when I ran into Seth. He smiled his usual happy smile, but I realized I hadn't been very observant when it comes to Seth as of late because he finally passed me up in the height department. I couldn't believe I had been that lost in my own little world that I didn't even notice that the boy who was practically my brother had suddenly become taller than me.

But, like the adrenaline junkie I was, I said a quick "Hi, Seth! Bye, Seth!" and ran as fast I could without tripping to the phone. Apparently I also didn't notice how sad he looked when I ignored him again, or so I was told later. But, still, in all fairness, my motorcycle was ready!

"Hello? Jake? Is that you? Is everything okay? What's going on? How are the mo—projects?" I realized I almost slipped when Uncle Charlie came walking by me. Whew, that was a close one.

"Bella," Jacob said in the stupid formal tone that I knew was all for show.

"Yes, we've established that it is, indeed, me, Bella. Now, tell me what is up!" I was just a little impatient and slightly antsy.

"I believe that… we have a date," I started jumping up and down I was so thrilled. I am now in possession of a working death trap! I don't think I've been this happy since…well, it's been a while.

"I thought I was talking to Jacob Black, not Mike Newton. I am not going out on a date with you, Mike, for the last time!" I giggled to myself. I told Jacob about how annoying Mike had been lately, sort of dropping hints how I don't like when guys are persistently asking me out. He just responded to an open offer of ever beating up Mike if I wanted him to. The silence on the other end practically screamed 'I am not happy with that remark, Bella. You know I loathe Mike Newton, how could you ever compare me to him?' Oh, yeah, I've developed some of Edward's mind reading powers. I am that good. "Alright, no Mike jokes. So, they're done?"

He tried to sound upset at me despite me apologizing, but I knew he was as excited as I was. "Yeah, they run and everything."

"Ahh! I am so excited! I'm on my way right now!" I hung up and ran out before anyone could ask me where I was going. Both Seth and Leah tried calling to me when I ran out the door, but I didn't stop for either of them. I barely stopped when Jacob ran up to me when I got to his house. I ran right past him to my two waiting beautiful pieces of former scrap metal. I looked in wonder at them for a second, and then quickly turned around and gave Jacob the biggest hug a mere human like me could. "Jacob! This! Is! So! Great! You! Are! Awesome!" I quickly realized that I was probably just goading on his 'feelings' for me, so I pulled back just as fast as I grabbed him and threw my arms around my motorcycles.

"Are you ready to ride them?" Jacob asked, clearly not as shaken by my hug as I was.

"Damn straight I'm ready to ride them! Let's go!" I added as an afterthought, "Please."

Jacob was pretty much laughing at me the whole time he was giving me directions to the place we were going to ride my babies for the first time. I am beyond excited. So excited that I barely even noticed the four guys that were about to jump off my cliff. Until they actually did it, that is.

"Holy crap!" I slammed on the brakes, causing Jacob to pretty much bash his head on the dashboard.

"Bella, what's wrong?" He asked, worried, when I'm the one who should probably be worried about his head. Well, I mean I guess the werewolf in him would heal any internal bleeding. Hopefully.

"Those guys just…I mean, one of them threw himself…no, he didn't, you idiot! Bella, you moron, they're just cliff-diving!" Wow, I'm probably looking like a mental case right about now. I still mumbled, "And off of my cliff too," under my breath.

"Well, Bella, what do you expect us down in La Push to do other than cliff diving? I mean, we don't have a mall, you know." I'm surprised he didn't tease about me talking to myself.

I looked back at the cliff. It was so high…and the view had to be pretty from the top…and the rush I would feel if I just barely stepped off of it…and…NO! I cannot be having any such thoughts about jumping off of any cliff because that would just be stupid! Edward would no doubt have some sort of cow and I would have to go running off to Volterra to save his butt, which is bad. At least, that's what I have to keep reminding myself about. "Right, sounds like fun."

"It is fun, but most of us jump from lower down, that rock that juts out from the cliff about halfway. Those guys are insane. Probably showing off how tough they are. I mean, really, it's freezing today. That water can't feel good."

"I'm sure they can handle it." I muttered, thinking about the wolves forever high temperatures. I sped off before I could think about jumping from those darn cliffs anymore and also before I could annoy Jacob. I didn't want that werewolf transformation happening any sooner than planned.

"What do you know about those guys?" Jacob asked me, genuinely confused.

"Just that they're a bunch of tough, stupid guys that rub their noses," or snouts, "in other people's business. Especially when it comes to the Cullens. I mean, really, what is the big deal? I met a couple of them at Uncle Charlie and Sue's party in La Push before they got married, and let me tell you, I was ready to punch that…Paul guy." Whoops, I went off on a bit of a rant there. Way to look normal, Bella, way to look normal! Jacob looked pretty angry when I was talking about them, and actually looked kind of pleased when I said I wanted to hit Paul, but then again he had a valid reason to not like them. "You don't like them either." I said, not a question at all.

"Does it show?" Why do I constantly have to tell my friends that sarcasm is my thing? Jacob is, in a word, bad at sarcasm.

"Yes, it does. Very much so, in fact." I turned before either of us had a chance to miss it. Jacob was looking very dejected as we hopped out of my truck, which was not what I wanted right now. So, I guess I'll have to fix him, but just this once. "Jake? Listen to me," I pulled him closer so he would see how serious I was actually being, "those guys aren't a big deal. I know that they're probably creeping on you, but just trust me when I tell you it'll all be okay in the end. Trust me, I know about these sorts of things."

For some unfathomable reason, that boy just does not take reassurances the way I intended. This, which I kind of wanted to avoid, was becoming a full on therapy session. Okay, maybe that's a little strong, but still. Jacob started telling me about how the guys were called the 'protectors' of La Push and all the stuff about them watching him and Embry and how Embry is now one of them and on and on and on. I mean, I listened, of course, but I was getting really jumpy when the ten minute mark hit of me consoling him.

Finally, after we talked about seriously every detail of the situation, I shut him up when I told him, "Jake, it'll be okay! If it gets to the point of unbearable, you can come to my house and bunk with Seth. I'm sure he would be absolutely ecstatic about it." And, of course, he gave me a hug, which, to help him, I gave back. "Now, before either of us go into a full-on break down, I say we ride some bikes!"

I gave him my 'I want to have fun' smile, and started to pull the motorcycles off the back of my truck. He was already laughing even before I tried to lift them out. Well, at least I avoided the bad moment of him touching my hair. With that avoided, I can save the 'friends only' talk for another, less happy, day.

Or at least until I start drooling over his abdominal muscles later if I crash.


hope you liked it! Drama is fun to write, it just takes a while :) so, please review even if you didn't like it and you can yell at me for being such a slow updater as well!

i'm kind of hoping as a christmas present i might reach 200 reviews? maybe, please? i've been a good girl! I'm on the nice list, i swear!

Preview for the next chapter:

"This is reckless and childish and idiotic, Bella!" His voice thundered in my ears. Thank goodness! I missed his voice. It sort of whispered in my head the last time I was sitting in his room, but I think that was just me reliving moments from when he was in there with me.

I know it is. Why do you think I'm doing it? I challenged in my head. I didn't lose control of the bike under me, so Jacob just reminded me, "Easy on the clutch," because I was gripping it quite tightly.

"Do you want to kill yourself, then? Is that what this is about?"

Of course that's what it is. I've wanted to off myself for months now. Keep up Edward, I'm being reckless to make you mad not to kill myself!

"Bella, this is not the time for sarcasm." His disapproval kept on ringing in my ear, which made me oh so much happier when I finally let go of the grenade.