Ello Everybody! oh, yeah...*Disclaimer*...
Here's the new chapter! I love this part of New Moon personally, it's really funny plus Edward's going to be back in just a few chapters (the real one...the hallucination will most likely be back a lot)
Anyway, enjoy it! and review por favor! Can you all get me to 275 as a valentine's day present?? Please?
There are three truths (otherwise known as rules) in this wonderfully annoying world of Twilight that you should always adhere to:
Never scream at and bitch slap a werewolf…
I found out later that it hurts to hit them in any way whatsoever. My hand started swelling up as I was driving home. By the time I was upstairs, ready to pass out from the mixture of fear and adrenaline, it was almost twice its normal size. JUST FROM SLAPPING ONE!
Screaming at vampires is usually futile. They do not and will not pay attention to rants.
I learned this rule today the hard way. Like, I screamed what was left of my voice away, hard way. It was mainly a one-sided conversation all the way back to my house with Ava. After she asked me "How'd it go?" I sort of lost it.
I can barely remember what I said-slash-ranted, but I think it went something like…
"How'd it go? How'd it go? How'd it go? It didn't go anywhere! I was almost killed! You sent me out there to yell and scream at Jacob, but guess who I ran into! No, really guess." She didn't have time to answer. "The whole freaking pack sans Jacob! And they were acting like the freaking Spanish inquisition! They, mostly Sam and Paul, kept asking me how I knew all the stuff about werewolves and who told me and on and on and on! Then, now this is the kicker, then Paul had the audacity to suggest kidnapping me to make me tell them! WHILE I WAS STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM! I hate werewolves! I really do, I don't understand why I was even going down there in the first place. It's not like Jacob was going to just accept that I know everything about werewolves without some questions. Then he and his little pack of 'brothers' would just attempt to kidnap me again and maybe even torture me! And I swear to God, if my ridiculous hallucination of Edward does not shut up soon, I am never going to speak to the real one ever again!"
Then I got home. No joke, I kept on going like that for about an hour. It was a very good thing that no one was home when I got there. Ava just sat down on the couch and patiently waited for me to stop pacing and ranting, while the contents of my ice pack were flying around the room from me over-gesturing.
I didn't stop this vicious cycle until Seth came in and questioned why the living room smelled like I doused it in a sickly-sweet perfume. I didn't really register what that meant until way later when it was too late for my poor almost a werewolf step-cousin.
Shut your window at night. People who you may or may not want to talk to tend to just 'pop in' through your windows like they're doors.
I should have figured Jacob would show up that night. I mean, it was in the book. A little out of order maybe, but it was still in there. Even though I had Ava over in my room it still didn't really matter in the long run. She, apparently, left for a little while when she heard-slash-smelled him coming. Despite that he saved me and everything, I still hadn't really calmed down about the whole issue, plus I had to remember that Victoria was around. Ava was only staying over so she could watch out for me. I bet Angel was out there somewhere too, but I didn't ask. I didn't need to.
Because he was the first one to raise the Jacob alert. I had spent the rest of that day screaming about werewolves to Ava, so by the time it was ten I was ready to sleep for about a week. But right as I was at the point where you're almost asleep but not 100% yet, my phone started ringing.
And, stupid me, I forgot to put it on silent.
"Hello?" I croaked since that was about all I could do with the state my voice was in.
"Hello, who is this?" I head Angel's voice on the other side say.
"Angel, it's Bella, you moron. I lost my voice from screaming for the past two days. What do you want? I was almost asleep." I said rather grouchily.
"Sorry, Bella, but there's someone comin' to see you."
I sighed. How stupid was he tonight? He was acting more like Emmett than anything else. "Angel, Ava's been here all day!"
Angel sighed too, but he sounded frustrated. "Not Ava. There's a dog here if you wanna see him."
Oh crap it! "Which one?"
"What's your name again?" He asked. I guess whoever it was was standing right next to him.
"Just give me the phone. Bella? Are you there?" Oh, holy hell! It's Jacob…okay, just calm yourself down and get through this little visit.
"Jake, what are you doing?"
"Look, whichever leech this is, give the phone to Bella." I swore I heard Angel growl in the background, but I didn't ask. I was too offended that the guy I've practically lived with for like two months doesn't even recognize my voice. Well, humph!
"This is Bella, stupid head!" I squealed. My voice sort of cut off when it got too high, which made my throat hurt even more. God I hate this!
"Bella?! What's wrong with you?"
"Nothing!" Nothing was exactly what came out. There was finally no voice at all inside of me. And Jacob was taking my silence as something a little bit more than laryngitis. I think he made up some sort of image in his head about me being stuck up against a wall because about a minute later I heard someone scratching at my window. It definitely sounded like someone was filing their nails against it.
"Bella! If you can hear me, let me in! Ouch! Damn it!" I opened the window with deliberate slowness just to make him hang out on the tree outside a little longer. He can consider it my revenge for ignoring me for so long. Ha, ha, ha, Jacob! I actually was just going to stand there smirking at him until he started shouting. "BELLA!"
"Alright, alright! Shut up, you're going to wake up everyone in the house! Get in!" I held the window open, and thankfully I found my voice again. It sounded like a teenage boy going through puberty, but, hey, it was a voice. "Jacob, you wanna tell me what exactly it is you're doing here?" I called while he was doing his little acrobatic trick to get up through my window.
Holy Hell, he's still not wearing a shirt! I'm going to have to introduce him to a mall. "I'm trying to keep—" he wiped off all the spruce needles that had clung to his pants when he was outside, "my promise." I guess what Ava and I said about friends keeping promises got to him a little bit more than I thought. "And apologizing for trying to kidnap you." He almost reached old Jacob. He was this close! He shrugged like he always used to, but he was shirtless and had really nice abs, so it wasn't exactly the same.
I let out a shaky laugh. Damn, everything sounds weird since I have no voice. "Oh, really? You're not about to yell at me because I was being chased by one of your 'brothers' or whatever you guys call each other?"
This time he shrugged like new Jacob would. You know, the new Jacob where's he acting almost like Edward with the brooding stuff. "I never found out exactly what happened. He was too focused on fighting to acting have any readable thoughts."
I waved noncommittally. "Oh, I just sort of slapped him! But it wasn't my fault! He shouldn't have—I wasn't expecting—I really didn't think he would come after me!" My voice cut out about three times from reaching too high a pitch. It's a really good thing that Uncle Charlie and everyone else in the house are such sound sleepers or else I would be in major trouble by now.
Jacob smiled at my offended outburst. "Well, like you said, you did sort of slap him, Bella."
This just made me even more outraged. "Yeah, when he laughed at me! And plus, he's just a big stupid…stupid head who doesn't know when to shut up! And he called me a leech-lover! I am no leech-lover; I'm a pro-leech, pro-mutt, person. Is it my fault that no one seems to understand that?" Jeez, I sound like I'm in Eclipse already! Why not just burst out with a little Team Switzerland action?
"You're rambling, Bella." He grinned at me without answering my question. Something panged in my chest, since what he said reminded me exactly of when Edward said it.
Inhale happiness, exhale thoughts of how bitter I am about Edward. Good thing I'm a good breather or Jacob would have noticed how much that bothered me. "I'm a rambler, what can I say? You, on the other hand, need to ramble a bit more. Like, would care to explain why you tried to kidnap me?"
Jacob wasn't grinning anymore. Now he hung his head down like a dog would when it was in trouble. Sorry, dog analogies are all I can think of when I'm around him now! It's starting to become a problem! "It wasn't my idea." He mumbled.
"Sorry, what was that?" I was going to make him crack if it killed me.
"I didn't want to do it. You have to understand, I didn't really have a choice!" He didn't mumble this time either.
"Shh! Don't wanna wake anyone up now, do we?" I ran to check if his latest outburst had woken anyone up, but everyone was still slightly snoring in their beds. When I came back in my room, he'd taken a seat on my bed. "Alright, Jacob, just tell me. Did Sam make you do it? Because if he did, I'm going to have my uncle arrest him."
"No, he didn't make me. I was just so freaked out that you knew I just sort of lost it. Then Paul caught wind of what I did, which was probably why he made that comment to Sam about trying to kidnap you again." Don't use the puppy dog eyes, Jake! That's not fair! He was just willing me to forgive him!
"So you did know what happened out there?"
"Sam filled me in after Paul and I stopped fighting. We would have explained to you too had you not run off so fast."
I snorted. "Well, sorry for being scared out of my mind over some little trifle as two humongous wolves fighting over me! It was a just a little creepy especially considering I knew it was you, but you were a huge freaking wolf!"
Jacob stood up then and looked me straight in the eye. It was chilling to say the least that he could be so serious. "Bella, how did you know about us?"
You know, I really should have come up with some sort of lie before now. It would have come in handle if I just thought of a better lie then just saying I know. Oh, I got one! "You told me. Remember? That day on the beach…you told me scary stories about vampires and werewolves…ringing any bells?"
"You remember that." Jacob actually smiled. I think he actually looked relieved. I guess he wasn't filled up on the fact that I sort of blurted Stephanie Meyer's name while I was yelling at Sam. Or he forgot. Or they all thought I was kidding. That last one actually makes more sense than anything else.
"Of course! It was a major milestone in my life here." I smirked at him. Jeez, I barely remember that day except for me thinking that I could go running after Edward screaming 'vampire' after that. And that Ava flirted with Paul. Ugh, that was so gross. And never to be spoken about again.
"Do you mind if I ask you a question about that? I've been dying to know."
"Know what?"
"About the vampire story I told you." I tilted my head to the side, suddenly wishing that I'd read this chapter before he turned up. "Did you honestly not know? Was I the one who told you what he was?"
"I—I mean, I knew, but I had to make sure." I lied, but not very convincingly. When he gave me a skeptical look, I couldn't help but start rattling off everything that'd been weighing in on my conscience lately. "You don't understand, Jake, there are certain things that you don't know about that I can't tell you. Things that some of the Cullens don't even know. Everyone has their secrets, and I can't tell you or the rest of the pack about all of mine."
Jacob responded the same way Edward had when I told him about having my own secrets. He panicked and started freaking out about my safety. "Bella, if there's something that's going to get you hurt that you aren't telling anyone about…"
"Jacob! It's not like that! It's just a responsibility that I have. I can't tell you how bad it makes me feel that I know I should be able to stop something from happening and then I can't!"
"You lost me, Bells." Another dog analogy could come out, but I'll rein it in. I'm confusing myself to be honest. I feel like I'm going to pass out soon from a mixture of taking medicine for my throat and just being plain pooped. It's sort of making me loopy.
"Jacob, I could have stopped you from…you know, being a werewolf but I didn't because you showed up at the movie theater. I mean, I should have kept all the vampires away, ignored you, or something else! But I didn't because I'm just a scaredy-cat and I can't find it in me to change anything!" Except for keeping Laurent alive, that was good. If I could only catch Victoria before I have to spend the night with the personal space heater that's current heating up my room that would make everything 100% better.
"Bella, calm down, I told you before that this isn't your fault."
"Yes it is!" And now the waterworks come. I swear I think I cry every day! "I knew it was going to happen, Jake, and I didn't do anything to stop it!" Jacob reacted just like Edward did when I cried! Well, not exactly. It was more like Emmett when I cried. He gave me one of those bone-crunching hugs that actually make me think I cracked a rib. "Alright, I'll stop crying if you let me go! Can't breathe!"
"Good." He smiled down at me and, thank God, let me go. And when he did, I promptly staggered over to my bed and nearly passed out.
"Can we talk about this stuff tomorrow? Please? I do have some important information that Sam might be interested in, but I doubt I could say anything without coffee or sleep. And I hate coffee, so…"
"Go to sleep, Bella. Besides I think your two friends outside are getting a little antsy."
"I am not antsy. I'm anxious." Ava said from the hallway. Nice to know where she is. "Mainly because the room now has an overwhelming scent of wet dog. Now, shoo! Bella needs some sleep." She came into the doorway, armed with bleach and febreeze air freshener. Oh, good grief.
"Alright, alright, goodbye Bella. We're good, right?" Jacob asked while he positioned himself to launch out of my window.
"We're…decent, I'd say." I smirked at him before giving him the universal 'get out' sign. Ava was already spraying everything down with the air freshener before he could even get completely outside.
"So, that was boring…you know, you cry way too much for your own good."
"Yeah, well, I'm sleepy and I miss Edward…so night night!" I passed out before Ava could say anything else. And knowing her, she would have started yelling something along the lines that if I missed Edward so much that I should go after him. But now really I can't because Jacob actually needs me. He's going through some rough stuff and it's still my fault. So, yeah, I have to stay…at least for a little while.
Ow, ow, ow! Why are all of these people so hard? And they're all in my way! "Hey! Move it!" I screamed as loud as I could, which only seemed to make the crowd even harder to get through.
"Edward!" I screamed as soon as I saw him. He was standing in all of his shirtless glory, still in the shadows. I was so surrounded by then I couldn't move at all. "Edward, please listen to me! I'm alive! EDWARD!" He took the step forward that would point him directly in the sunlight, but when he stepped out it wasn't Edward anymore.
"Jacob?" I stopped pushing. I wasn't going anywhere anyway.
Suddenly everyone in the crowd took off the red hood. They were all townspeople, the closest of which to me was Uncle Charlie. And they all were holding guns. "Aim!" Uncle Charlie shouted to the crowd, who all pointed their guns at Jacob, who had his gaze was locked on mine.
"Fire!"
"NO!" I screamed. Thankfully, I woke up then. Jesus, I hate dreams. Seriously, if and when I become a vampire, dreams will be the one thing that I won't miss.
"Who died this time?" Ava asked as she threw New Moon to the ground. I guess she was catching up on what was going to happen.
"Jacob, I think. It was Edward in Italy first, then it turned into Jacob and everyone in town shot him."
Ava nodded her head appreciatively. "Nice," then we both heard footsteps coming up the stairs. "Speaking of nice, tell me how my acting skills are getting." She grabbed my thick quilt off the top of my pile of sheets, two pillows, and plopped herself on the ground. For extra effect, she shook her hair up so that it looked like had actually slept on it.
"Everything okay, Bells?" Uncle Charlie popped his head in.
"Yeah, sorry, I had a nightmare. You know, the usual." I shrugged. He was too used to my nightmares to think anything of it. For all he knew, it was about Edward. "I think I'm going to get up now anyway. I doubt I'll be able to get back to sleep." I purposely stepped on the vampire who was trying too hard to fake sleeping by my bed.
"What?" she slurred more like a drunken person than a sleepy person. "Bella? What's goin' on?" I see that Angel has rubbed off on her a little too much.
"Get up!" I kicked the pillow again for good measure, which caused Uncle Charlie to crack up in the doorway. I turned back at him sort of feeling guilty. "Uncle Charlie, did I wake you up?" Wait a minute, Bella, think! What was he doing in your dream?
"No, no, the rangers are going out armed, taking armed volunteers. There's a lot of hunters who are eager to be involved—there's a reward being offered for wolf carcasses. That's going to mean a lot of firepower out there in the forest, and it worries me." He shook his head. Oh, crap. "When people get too excited, accidents happen…"
"You don't mean…they're going to shoot them?" Despite having my voice back after a good two hours of sleep, I still hit amazing high notes. "You can't!"
"What else can we do? What's wrong?" I had started hyperventilating. Uncle Charlie and Ava both started to guide me to the bathroom. But seriously, I was fine! I just was having some bad visions of boy getting shot! AHHH!
"Stop, stop, stop, I'm fine…"I made them let go.
"You aren't turning into a tree-hugger on me, are you?" Uncle Charlie laughed at me.
"Oh, Mr. Swan, Bella's been a tree-hugger for a long time. She has a very special interest in wolves and certain species of leeches." She smirked at her own joke. Certain species of leeches indeed!
"Leeches?" Uncle Charlie looked down at me with that look I've been getting ever since Edward left. He most definitely thinks I'm insane. Well, I wouldn't exactly disagree with him.
I shrugged, trying to think of a quick lie. "Umm, yeah, the umm Brazilian golden eyed species of leeches are prone to killing themselves when their mates die, which happens more often than you might think! So, they're one of the most endangered species in the world! But so are the wolves in this area, Uncle Charlie! You just can't kill them; I don't think they're the ones who are killing the hikers." Oh, that wasn't supposed to come out of my mouth! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
I braced for what Uncle Charlie would say, but when he opened his mouth to say something he got the glazed over look on his face. "Maybe you're right. I'll call off the whole thing. Have fun with Jacob, Bella." And, with that, he went back to bed despite already wearing his police uniform.
"Thanks, I owe you one." I said to Ava as I threw on my clean jeans with lightning speed.
"Only one?" You know, I really did miss her while we were fighting. I'm kind of surprised I didn't crack first. "There was the rescue, no scratch that, two rescues yesterday, saving you just now, all the times I got you and Edward privacy during the summer, plus the endless amounts of comedy from making Emmett run around in a French maid costume, and finally getting you so many clothes at the mall for 90% off every time we go there. You owe me for life. No, eternity." Why do I suddenly feel like I've sold my soul to a vampire and I didn't even realize it? Oh, the fact that I am so far in debt to my best friend that it will take eternity for me to make it up to her.
Oh, that's great.
"Well, we gotta go now if I'm going to have time to run down to La Push before all the wolves get out of their dens for the morning." I slipped on my hiking boots as fast as I could and took off down my stairs.
"Remind me why I have to go." She said, easily keeping pace with me. Having vampire speed it so not fair.
I stopped, considering it. In truth, she didn't have to go. I just wanted her out of my house before she and Leah could make up a plan to get me dating someone again. "Moral support." I finally figured, but apparently I sounded like I was trying too hard.
She ran ahead of me, beating me to the bottom of the stairs before I was even halfway down. Grr! "I'm going home to make out with my gorgeous husband-slash-fiancé-slash-boyfriend before Alice comes back around and bosses everyone around."
"Alice is on her way?" Well my life suddenly got easier. Yay, Alice is coming! She can warn me when I need to stay holed up in my room to avoid temptation to jump off a cliff.
"Apparently! She called last night and told me she was getting on a plane, but I wasn't completely sure if she meant she was getting on a plane to come here. She wanted to talk to you, but when I told her you were asleep she didn't want to wake you up. Something about needing your sleep, I don't know." She threw her hands up in exasperation. With Alice, there's always some confusion. I didn't realize I missed her that much either.
But then again, Alice meant something else. Edward. Oh man, that might not be good.
Edward might be coming back soon. Edward who left me alone in the woods crying on a log until a werewolf interrupted me might be coming back. Edward who would die for me and would die if I ceased to exist might be coming back.
Oh, good God, I'm screwed.
S-C-R-E-W-E-D.
"Bella? Earth to Bella? Bella, MOVE!" I eventually snapped out of my Edward-induced coma to see that two really sleepy and grumpy almost-werewolves. Ava was yelling to get me out of their way.
Once I realized I was blocking the stairs, I moved as fast as I could out of their way. I knew for a fact Leah wouldn't even be her lower level of angry until she had some coffee in her. And Seth, well, I'm not really sure what Seth is like in the mornings. But I'm sure he won't be happy until he gets some coffee too.
"Sorry, guys! I'm leaving I promise! Come on, Lizzie." I grabbed Ava's arm and dragged her outside to my truck without a backward glance.
If I had I might have noticed Seth ask Leah if she thought one of us had too much perfume on. And I would have seen her smack him on the back of the head, despite the fact that she was thinking the same thing.
But I didn't. I just started the truck up and dropped Ava off outside the Cullen's house. I forced myself to not go inside and curl up in a ball and cry in Edward's room. Actually, I was okay once I pulled out of their driveway.
Then I had to focus my energy on Jacob. And Victoria. Ugh, I hate her. Why won't Ava just run after her and make her go away? Oh yeah, that's right: she wants Edward to rip Victoria's head off while she rips everything else to pieces. She's that kind of vampire.
I unconsciously pushed harder on the gas while I thought about Victoria. It was a huge relief knowing Uncle Charlie wouldn't be out there now thanks to Ava, but I still worried about them at home. Plus, everyone was frantically trying to piece everything together for the memorial thing that I still need to get a dress for. Maybe Alice'll bring me one.
Anyway, I finally pulled into the Blacks' driveway. None of the lights were on in the house, so I guessed Billy was still asleep. Huh, I guess he would be since it was just now rolling around six thirty in the morning. I wasn't stingy about how early it was like the real Bella.
Also, I wasn't quite as nice as her either.
I was going to show Jacob what it's like to wake up hearing a scratch on your window. Not that I was woken up by the scratch, but still. I slunk around the back, hoping that none of their neighbors were some of the other wolves and would see me. Or just that if they were regular humans that they didn't call the police. It would be kind of awkward if Uncle Charlie had to pick me up in La Push for breaking and entering.
I had to look in every window before I found Jacob's room. Aww, he looked so cute in his little bed. Different with the short hair this time, but still cute. I started out with a little knock on the window, but when he didn't move I dragged my nails down the window pane, which made such a squeal that I'm pretty sure Edward could hear in Brazil.
Which finally woke him up! It was pretty funny too. It scared him, or shocked I guess, so much that he flipped right out of his bed! Ha! Luckily the window wasn't too high, but I still had to jump to brace myself on the window pane.
When he saw it was me he looked considerably less angry then when he first shot up off the ground. Poor Jake, he had bags so dark under his eyes, I actually feel a little remorse for not being more like the real Bella and letting him sleep in.
But Jacob looked to happy to see me to care if I was the real Bella or not. He was grinning so big when he opened the window that I couldn't help but to grin back.
"Morning, Jake!"
And that is where i am going to leave you...it's not much of a cliff and just so you know there will be no more werewolf fights (i think)
alright, now, go review!
Preview for the next chapter:
"Come on, get dressed! And that includes a shirt if you don't mind." I hopped back out into his yard without realizing he wasn't following me. I almost drove away. Maybe I should have slept in. He finally came out from around the back a couple of minutes later. Shirted and everything! "Good, you do seem to own a shirt. I thought we might have to stop and buy you one before we get there."
Jake seemed like his old self for a second when he laughed at me. It was like the sun had finally figured out how to shine again. Ha, I still think that description of Jacob is hilarious, but still true. "You wanna tell me where we're going?"
"Sure, sure! You're going to tell me how to find Sam's house!"
Well, the sun was nice while it lasted.
