Lunch. It means food for hungry wasps. I'm not very hungry. I've had a long day, and today is almost over; which I'm dreading more than the exam I didn't study for. The term 'saved by the bell' comes into action when I saw Rabi headed my way; luckily he was lost with the swarm of people trying to get to their next class. I've managed to avoid him all day, even thought my release period and most of lunch. I cleanly navigated my way though the halls, to my classroom, to my seat, and successfully sat down without running into either Kanda OR Rabi, which amazed me.
The truth was; I didn't know what to say to either one of them. I don't know what Kanda had told Rabi when he got back from the convenient store. I even thought up the probability that they had sex. I had immediately discarded the thought and shoved it in a far, far corner of my brain.
"Allen! Allen, are you okay? You look sick, man. And I don't mean like red-nose-and-tissue sick, you look like hell." The kid I sat next to had started poking and prodding my arm until I responded.
"I'm just stressed, surprisingly not about finals though." I sighed and relentlessly turned back to my exam, and continued on with the question.
"Alright, bro. I know the feeling. Hope it works out, whatever it is." She smiled at me and picked up the eraser she had and began fiddling with it; completely ignoring the exam. I found it odd, but didn't think much of it.
I let the rest of the exam pass with the attitude of my desk partner; I'd finished half of it, and didn't feel like doing anymore. I was acting so unlike myself, it was almost insanity. Then one thought—just one thought—of Kanda brought the whole situation back to the front of my brain. The thought was the following: He really does have a nice ass.
"What?" She said. I looked at her confused, and she gave me the same face in return. "You said his ass was nice… Who's, if I may ask?" She gave me a weird look, like I was slightly insane.
"I… I did not, not, say that aloud, did I?" I whispered. She grinned and poked my side.
"So! Tell me! I did just hear that, it was low and under your breath, but oh boy did I." She gave me a grin from ear to ear and spat out her name. "I'm Krystal, I just moved here a week ago, and I need a friend." I suppose it couldn't hurt to tell her, she looked just like someone who would be the last person to tell or be told gossip. Bright blue hair, dark jeans, petticoat, hell, she was even wearing a dog collar.
"Alright." I sigh, the class was almost out, and people were talking amongst themselves in hushed tones. I continue at a loud whisper, just loud enough for her to hear me. "So yesterday, I realized I've never liked girls. At all. My best friend told me that he loves me an hour later, and then, just like that," I snap my fingers, "He kisses me." She raised her eyebrows. "I'm not done yet. So afterwards, he apologizes, and asks me to come over because he doesn't want to be alone with the new guy, Kanda? Yeah, him." I get a small flutter in my stomach when I say his name, "So then, after I meet this guy for the second time, he asks me to be his boyfriend when my best friend isn't around. Then HE, well… WE kiss, and I'm confused, dazed, tired, and most of all, head over heels for the new guy."
She's silent. She cocks her head and squints. "That's why you're stressed." She remarks.
I nod just as the bell rings. She quickly packs up her pencil and eraser and leans towards me, telling me probably the best piece of advice I've heard. It was plain and simple. A few words that meant everything.
It also helped me make a choice. I waved goodbye to her in a daze while I packed my things and rushed out the door. I halted. There he was. Kanda, standing right outside my classroom. He had his thumbs in his pockets, his eyes on the floor, and his back against the lockers. He knew I was there, he just preferred not to look at me. How he knew what class I had last was beyond me.
"Kanda." I said. I wasn't frozen or baffled per se, just awkward and shy.
"So?" He asked. He didn't actually look at me. I think he was embarrassed. I answered him as truthfully as I could.
"Yes." I answered confidently, slightly breathless. It was a bit of a change of plans; I'd imagined everything except him showing up out side of my classroom. He looked up and shoved himself off the lockers. I knew I just saw him blush!
Being a man of few words, he didn't say anything. A tug of a smile I've seen only once before played on one corner of his lips and he strode towards me. The hallway was still crowded as if it was the middle of the day; people hadn't gotten their things out of their lockers and headed home quite yet. His movements made me think he'd never been in a relationship before; he awkwardly hugged me, and being about five inches shorter than him didn't help. I hugged him back.
We'd gathered more than half the hallway's occupancies' attention at this point, and Kanda not letting go didn't help.
"I… uhm… I'm not a big fan of hugs." He said and let go. I smiled shyly at him and grabbed his hand, gathered my thoughts and blushed like mad.
I couldn't wait to kiss him again.
Too have his arms around me again.
Just..."Don't let me go." I whisper, audible to only him and myself.
"Okay." His expression softens the slightest bit and he grabs my other hand—the gloved one—touches his forehead to mine and closes his eyes.
Just on queue, Rabi. Ruining my day again, though I hate to say it. Do you know how you can tell when he's coming? All the girls in the hall with nothing better to do hush themselves and giggle. I gasped and tightened my grip on Kanda's hands.
"I'm in trouble." I whisper to him and turn away from his questioning look.
I have either of two options. One: I can run from Rabi, and keep me and Kanda under the radar. Two: I could confront him, potentially break his heart, and fess up to what I've decided.
Or, rather, I let Kanda do something because I can't move.
"Che, Rabi, come here." Kanda yelled to him, letting go of one of my hands so he could face him with his body. Rabi's head veered towards Kanda's voice and came closer. My face drained of color and I stared straight the floor in front of Kanda's feet. Due to my lack of looking at either of them, I only heard their voices.
"What?" Rabi's voice. Confusion.
"I couldn't..." Kanda's voice. Sorrow.
Realization set in on Rabi as he studied Kanda, reaching his hand holding mine and me without anything to say.
"You fucking bastard." Rabi. Angry, calm. I looked up.
Rabi was standing about five feet away from us, hands clenched into fists, but other than that detail, relaxed.
I looked down again. "I'm... I'm sorry." I stuttered. "I just…"
"Not you. Him. I told him everything." He switched to addressing Kanda. "Everything about Allen! And you just…" I looked up at him again. Kanda let go of my hand, though I couldn't say that I wanted it back, I tugged on his jacket sleeve. Rabi's practically shaking; single tear fell from his good eye.
"I thought you were my friend." Rabi whispered. He wiped at his eye with one of his hands, turned, and walked away. I stared after him in awe. I don't know if his words were directed to me or Kanda, but they hurt like they were meant for me.
"Hey." Kanda said to me, "Let's go." I gathered myself and nodded, his firm grip replaced on my small hand, tugging me in a direction I didn't care to notice.
"Hey Allen!" I voice called from behind me. I pulled on Kanda's hand and stopped to see who called me, and to my surprise, it was Krystal. "Is this Kanda?" She asked as she came to a stop next to me, and smiled.
"Yes~" I blushed and looked down at my shoes.
She studied me. "I see." She giggled. Krystal held out her hand to the Japanese man. "I'm Krystal, nice too meet you!" She grinned.
He didn't seem to take notice of her outstretched hand and mumbled something inaudible.
"He ahh… doesn't talk much." I half elbowed him in his side, he grumbled at me, and I rubbed the back of my head as Krystal stared at us.
"That's okay. So I guess I'll see you later then, have a good Friday!" Krystal smiled and waved at us both as she started her stroll back though the high school.
"Are you cheeky all the time?" Kanda asked, grabbing my attention.
"Yep!" I nodded and smiled at him.
"But are you really that happy?"
My smile fell and I dropped my gaze the tiled floor.
"I understand." He whispered.
Only later it hit me; I knew little to nothing about Kanda.
