Freeze

Chapter 4

Sorry I did not post sooner! I really wish I could have but I had like 3 days without internet.

I almost lost it. Like Alec is about to...

But I'm here now!

I might not be able to post regularly these next few days but I will post whenever I can.


Isabelle was concerned about her brother. It wasn't often she showed much open sisterly concern but she had never seen Alec how he was. Something was bothering him.

Since the night she caught him sneaking in (although for the sake of the deal that night had never happened), Isabelle noticed Alec had lost focus. His mind always seemed to be somewhere else and he looked as if he hadn't slept in days. He was eating less of her food than usual, which she didn't think was possible, and some of the colour in his eyes had faded.

Others may not have noticed these subtle changes in Alec's behaviour, but Isabelle did. She had asked him if he was alright a number of times, but he always gave the same hollow response that he was fine. Yet it was clear he was anything but fine.

She decided to leave the Institute to get some fresh air. Isabelle always went out when she was needed to think. She hated seeing her brother so unhappy and wished she could do something about it. She had offered for him to come with her but he declined, saying he wanted some time alone.

When she opened the door of the Institute, a tall, lean figure stood before her.

Oh no.

It was beyond certain that Alec's behaviour had something to do with the warlock. She would have wanted to confirm her suspicions, but had promised herself not to get in Alec's way when it came to relationships any more. Isabelle was so sure they had heard the last from Magnus. And yet here he was standing in the doorway.

"Isabelle."

"Magnus." She didn't know how she ought to greet him. "Um... Can I help you with anything?"

"Perhaps you could. I have been meaning to borrow a book from your library."

Isabelle didn't buy it. It was too coincidental. "What for?" There was no way that Magnus had come all this way for a book.

"Oh, I just need a spell for a client – nothing major." His tone was trustworthy but Isabelle still had doubts. But it wasn't her place to say no.

"Okay," she complied. "But as long as you leave straight after."

His facial expression seemed to sadden a little. "I would have no reason to stay."


Alec had been staring at the ceiling in his room for too long. His room was unusually tidy, but his mind was a mess.

He hated having free time now. It gave him more time to think. And the more he thought, the worse he got. But he couldn't put what happened out of his head. How could he? He couldn't pretend it didn't happen, because it did happen. But he still didn't know what to make of it.

On the spur of the moment the kiss felt right. It felt as everything around him had just disappeared, as if nothing mattered, as if everything was perfect. It was only afterwards that things felt wrong. Like the world started falling apart.

Everything he had ever known told him that what had happened shouldn't have. That didn't stop him from still feeling awful for leaving Magnus. Magnus, Magnus, Magnus. Alec had wanted space to think. Even Isabelle had decided to leave him be. Now he had all the space he could possibly want. And it was killing him.

What do people do in these situations? Not run away, for a start. Alec groaned. Even his own mind was turning against him. If he went on any longer like this, he would lose it.

I need something to do to keep my mind off it. I should have said yes to that walk.

In the end Alec decide to feed Church. If someone didn't feed the vicious feline soon it would scratch someone's eyes out, so at least he was being useful.

He opened his door and began to walk to the library.


Isabelle was just down the corridor from the library after she had shown Magnus there. Maybe I should put off my walk for a while.

It was then when she heard footsteps walking towards the library. Her eyes widened in horror. No, no, no, no.

She ran back but it was too late. Alec had gone into the library.

Why didn't I think this would happen? There was nothing she could do now. She peered carefully past the library door – to be a witness to everything that was about to happen.


Alec froze once he entered the library. "Magnus?" Why? Why does he come at the worse possible times? "W-what are you doing here?" He felt almost sick with worry. He hadn't expected this to happen. He hadn't wanted this to happen. This shouldn't have happened.

The warlock, who stood on the opposite side of the library, hesitated, but avoided looking at Alec. "I needed to borrow a book. The library here is well kept, so I should be gone soon."

"No." Alec spoke up. "Why are you really here?"

"Believe me Alexander, if there was somewhere else I could've gone I would have." The tone he used when he said his namewas cold. And he was still avoiding Alec's gaze. It hurt.

Alec didn't know what to expect next. He knew he couldn't keep pushing things away. That didn't make troubles disappear. He hadn't expected an apology. He had let Magnus kiss him. And something told him Magnus didn't feel entirely sorry for doing it. But Alec just didn't know how he felt about it.

He was not going to say sorry either. He didn't know if he was sorry. But he knew the one thing that was definitely true.

"It wasn't because of you," Alec said, although it was hardly even a whisper.

Magnus gave in and turned to face him.

Alec looked away. "I didn't leave because of you," he repeated. And with that he began to walk out of the library, head hanging. Almost inaudibly he continued. "I left because of me."


*sniffles*