*Disclaimer* Prepare your tissues, and please do not kill me.
I'm very sorry for this chapter, but to have a certain character come into the story properly and for other events to happen, what occurs in this chapter had to happen.
Yet again, please don't kill me. I promise it won't happen again! Now, I'm going to bet you that you can't get to 435 reviews before the next time I update, which could be anytime really since i've been a writing machine as of late. If you do, I might just have a surprise in order for you! so, tell me how much you want to kill me in your review now!
enjoy! :)
This So Is Not the Truth!
God, I feel like I just got hit by a truck! In all fairness, we were thrown around in a car by a vampire in a very small alley. I probably should be dead, but luckily I'm just really sore.
Just trying to move around in my bed is an effort that requires major concentration, which I do not have the brain capacity for at the moment. Because, the second I wake up, I realize I've got lots of 'splaining to do.
And the person that I'm going to have the biggest confrontation with is sitting right next to my bed. I managed to take a deep breath without bursting out crying, so I figured it would be safe to talk. "Hi." My muscles screamed in protest as I tried to sit up, but I made them shut up. I had to at least be at the same level as my adversary.
Edward smiled his crooked smile at me, which made me want to fall back again. Those eyes, that smile, those lips, all of him just made me want to faint! And all he said was, "Hello."
Now that we've got pleasantries out of the way, how do I start?
Well, one thing's for certain, I'm not going to waste time by babbling crap about being in a dream right now. Or start babbling about being dead. Because, unlike the ridiculous real Bella, I'm smart enough to realize that everything that happened in the past few days did happen, and that I'm not dead or dreaming or hallucinating anymore.
Although it would be a lot easier if I was dreaming or dead. That way I wouldn't have to worry about talking to Edward about what happened. I could just live it up with him in heaven for eternity, or I could have lots of fun with him on Isle Esme in my dreams.
Okay, this is not the time to be daydreaming about Edward on Isle Esme. All that stuff might come later. I need to focus. Now, what was my game plan again?
"We need to talk, Bella." Oh yeah, wing it.
"Hmm, you know that's really interesting. Bella, such a pretty name. And not mine, according to you." What? I said I was going to wing it! So, when I said 'wing it' I meant to say that I would pretty much blurt out whatever came into my brain first. And, in this case, it was one of those bitter statements that were result of many hours of being furious at Edward because of what he said when he left.
His face fell considerably at my angry look. "I didn't mean about that."
"Oh? And what did you want to talk about, Edward? Why you decided to leave? The fact that you met the real Bella while you were gone maybe? Perhaps why you wanted to off yourself after I fell off a cliff while you were standing next to me? Or do you want to discuss my feelings on our breakup? Checking in on me, are you? I thought you said you weren't ever coming back! Change your mind, did you?" Okay, so I had a lot of bitter thoughts in my head that really needed to spill out.
He just shook his head. "You have every right to be angry with me—"
"You're damn right, I do!" I yelled, but I stopped myself from going too far. I wouldn't want to wake anyone up. Whisper yelling will just have to do. "Why are you even here? Why did you stay?"
"Because you asked me to." He asked without missing a beat. Damn it, he caught me.
I leaned back against my pillows, suddenly exhausted. I knew my soreness would pull me back down eventually. "I was deliriously tired. My words could not honestly have been taken seriously."
He actually grinned at me! The nerve… "I find that most people tell the truth when they're delirious. The last time you were delirious, you told me I had 'really pretty golden eyes' and went on about it for a while, I might add."
I fought back a smile. I must be serious. I'm in control here, not him! "I remember that…but that has nothing to do with this situation right now. Apparently you and I have different things that we want to talk about. I'm guessing you want to know about the book."
Edward's grin faded away slowly to show his frustration underneath. "Why didn't you just tell me there were more? Alice told me while you were still sleeping there were more than even just two. Why the big secret, Bella?" Damn, why do you have to look so darn hurt? This being serious stuff is a lot harder when he looks so sad! I think my heart just slapped itself for lying to him.
Just look away, Bella. If you don't look him in the eye, maybe your heart will just shut up! "I, um, I wanted to avoid all of this."
"Avoid what exactly? What was supposed to happen?" There was another question there, but I didn't feel like telling him everything that happened while he was gone. He really does not need to know about Jacob and the rest of the pack.
I shrugged it off. "You know, the birthday disaster, the months of just...boring stuff, and you know, going to the Volturi since that was really dangerous and should have been avoided because if I didn't dream all of that I have to go work for them for like a hundred years or something." I am a pro at not crying anymore. Yay me, I guess.
His tone was dry. "I'd say you were crazy, or maybe you should go back to sleep, but—"
"Trust me, I am not tired anymore. It's probably just after one in the morning, right? I've been sleeping for about fourteen hours?" I tried keeping my tone light, but I'm pretty sure the lightness was going to stay away for a while.
"I'm guessing that's in the book, huh?" He didn't laugh at all. Man, this is a lot harder than I thought.
I smiled, letting that be the answer. "So, how are Uncle Charlie and Sue taking all of this?"
He frowned. "Your uncle…well, you should probably know that I'm breaking the rules right now. Well, not technically, since he said I was never to walk through his door again, and Sue said I was welcome here anytime. But still, I figured I should listen to him, so I came through the window. You know, it amazes me, she made him sleep on the couch until he would allow me in the house, but her heart still beats ten times faster when she thinks about him." Very clever, Edward! Comparing me to Sue and commenting on the fact that I seem to be having a heart attack at the moment is very clever indeed.
"Yes, well, that's what married couples do. They argue and the man ends up sleeping on the couch for the night. Sadly, in our case, I can't make you sleep anywhere, let alone banish you to a couch." Edward tried to hold my hand, but I quickly deterred him by wrapping my arms around my legs.
Edward sighed and scooted away from me slightly. I feel like we're waltzing around the issue. Literally. Right now, we're out, and I bet in a few minutes we'll be inches from one another again. "Right…well, you never did quite explain why you felt you had to not tell me about all of this." He leaned back and crossed his arms. I totally need to take a class on body language, or psychology. Either way, I might finally learn what Edward was thinking. Or, I could just grab onto him and read his mind like I did in Italy since I figured out that I can't read minds any other time than when I'm in direct contact with Edward. And even then, it was only when I was really riled up in Italy when I could hear anything.
Weird.
I completely zoned out for a minute, and finally snapped out of it when Edward shook me a little. Maybe he's right, maybe I do need to sleep some more. "Sorry. What did you ask me again? I'm just a little frazzled by everything if you didn't notice."
Apparently Edward's temper was quite short tonight as well. "You think you're the only one? You're not the one who has their entire life written out without knowing about it!"
He really needs to start listening more to what he's actually saying. "Right. Of course, because I'm not Bella. I'm just some random person who popped in here without having any real purpose."
That temper of his cooled right down while mine flipped right on. He held my hands in his and suddenly there were his thoughts. No, no, no. This is not working out the way I planned for it to go. Does she really not understand that there is no one but her? She really does think that I met another Bella while I was gone. If only she knew I was trying to hunt Victoria…
"I knew it! I knew you were trying to find Victoria! Even after I told you that she wasn't going to be in South America, you totally followed a decoy trail and went there anyway! Edward, do you ever listen to me? Or are you like the rest of the vampires in the world who routinely ignore what I say because I'm not a vampire?" Edward just sat there with his mouth wide open, which just made me continue on ranting. "Well? Which one are you?"
"Did you just hear my thoughts?" Way to dwell on the most unimportant part of this!
"Yes, but that's not the point. The point is—"
Okay, Edward lost it. Like, seriously, he's lost it. "How long has this been going on? Have you been able to hear my thoughts the entire time you've been here? This is not fair! You can read my thoughts, but I can't read yours."
Usually, I'm the one who has to be calmed down like a kindergartener, but in this case I'm the teacher and he's the toddler. "Okay, calm yourself, Edward. I don't know when and I don't know why all this started, but it cuts in and out only on occasion. Like, take right now, I can't hear a thing from your mind. It's as confusing and broody as it always is." I'm starting to think that this mind reading thing only comes around when I'm mad. Like a hulk sort of thing. Instead of turning green, I turn into a crazy mind reader. "So, you were hunting Victoria?"
"Not well," good, he calmed down from the whole mind reading thing, "But I'll do better this time. She won't be tainting perfectly good air by breathing in and out for much longer." Um, I'm a little nervous to be around him right now. I'm thinking he might crush my hand if he wasn't paying attention. "I promise you, Victoria is going to die. Soon."
He needs to calm down. A lot. And soon. "Are you okay?"
"I—I don't know. This is all so strange. Bella," I raised my eyebrows at him, which made him narrow his eyes at me, "I owe you an apology. No, of course I owe you much, much more than that. But you have to know," and here we go, "that I had no idea. I didn't realize the mess I was leaving behind. I thought it was safe for you here. So safe. I had no idea that Victoria would come back. I'll admit, when I saw her that one time, I was paying much more attention to James's thoughts. But I just didn't see that she had this kind of response in her. That she even had such a tie to him. I think I realize why now—she was so sure of hi, the thought of him failing never occurred to her. It was her overconfidence that clouded her feelings about him00that kept me from seeing the depth of them, the bond there."
I just sat and listened to him work out all of his thoughts even though I'd read all of this before. He just seemed like he had a lot of things that he really needed to get out. "Not that there's any excuse for what I left you to face. When I heard what you told Alice—what she saw herself—when I realized that you had to put your life in the hands of werewolves, immature, volatile, the worst thing out there besides Victoria herself. Please know that I had no idea of any of this. I feel sick, sick to my core, even now, when I can see and feel you safe in my arms. I am the most miserable excuse for—"
I had to cut him off. There wasn't anything left in his speech in the book at this point. "Alright, I think it's time you heard something. One, you didn't leave me here alone. Alice and Ava were back here the same day you left after figuring out your and Tanya's little trick, so I was always protected. Two, they aren't technically werewolves. They're more like shape shifters, so really they aren't very dangerous at all. And besides, Seth is one now, and he's practically my little brother. So, be nice. And, finally, you shouldn't have to worry about me anymore. You made it perfectly clear that you don't really love me because I'm not the real Bella, so I am doing what you said and trying to find the Edward Cullen for me." Which is you, but I didn't want to add that since I'm too mad at him to say that.
"Isabella Marie Swan," he stopped when I let out a sob unwillingly, "Sarah, why do you think I asked the Volturi to kill me?"
I didn't get to grab the tissue box before I really started crying. "I don't know. Because you were guilty that you couldn't catch me when I fell off the cliff?"
He stared at me like a crazy person. "You think I did all of that because I felt guilty? Well, I was, intensely so. More than you can comprehend. But you remember what I told you in the car, right?" Two inches away now! Which is not a good thing seeing as I really need that tissue box now.
"Oh, I remember everything you've ever told me. Especially those things said four months ago!" Edward handed me the tissue box that was on my bedside table. "Thank you…" I sniffled. Jesus, I'm such a baby.
"Bella, you seem to be under a misapprehension." I glared at him before blowing my nose as loud as I could. "I thought I'd explained it clearly before. Bella," I glared again, "whatever I say your name is, I can't live in a world where you don't exist. Especially since I have no idea what you want me to call you, I think you should know that I am completely and utterly devoted to you and no one else." Damn. I really want to kiss him right now. And apparently he wants to kiss me, too.
His cold hands cupped my face and I started to close my eyes, but before he could kiss me, I shot out of my bed and started pacing in front of the window. "Alright, let me get this 100 percent straight. You love me, me, not some short brunette with big chocolate brown eyes whose birth name is Isabella Marie Swan because, and this is only speculation on my count, she does not exist. Am I correct in assuming this?"
Edward didn't bother trying to restrain my pacing. I just needed to work out all the thoughts that were flying through my head, no matter how stupid some of them sounded. "No, you're not completely correct. I would still want you even if someone, which there are a few across the world, who was born Isabella Marie Swan. And I like that you aren't short like the book version of you."
"Alright, fine, I can accept this. So, wait a minute, you love me? Yes, of course, we already established that. So, the problem here is me. It's because I am…conflicted…at the moment." I think I need an aspirin. This is bordering on ridiculous and I'm completely babbling. "You told me I wasn't good for you. That you and me were both kidding ourselves when we're around one another."
Edward joined me in standing up and holding me still. "I'm a good liar, Bella, I have to be." His hands on my shoulders were making those nice tingly feelings again, but I forced myself to listen to him. "When we were in the forest, when I was telling you goodbye—you weren't going to let go. And, while part of me wanted you to give up, another part was screaming for you to keep fighting me. Then you provided me with the only way for you to let go." A part of my argument that I now realize I should have left out. "I didn't want to say it—it felt like it would kill me to do it—but I knew that if I couldn't convince you that I didn't love you, it would just take you that much longer to get on with your life. I hoped that, if you thought I'd moved on, so would you."
"You really thought I'd give up on you that easily?" I challenged.
Edward grinned. "Of course not. But I never imagined saying all of those things to you would be so easy to do! I thought it would be never to impossible—that you would be so sure of the truth that I would have to lie through my teeth for hours to even plant the seed of doubt in your head. But then once I gave into your demand of proof, all the determination in your eyes went away and was replaced with cold disbelief and, about a half second later, anger. I'd never seen you so angry before, except for when you were talking to Aro in Italy. For a moment, everyone was thinking you two were going to kill one another." I bet I did look pretty darn murderous while I was talking to Aro. I definitely wanted to kill him, but I'll save that for another day when I can actually hold my own in a fight with him.
"Bella?"
"Yeah! Sorry, I was just visualizing what it would be like to fight Aro" God, I am a creep! Why am I thinking about killing Aro at a time like this? Alright, Bella, just tell him what you feel about this. "Anyway, you have no idea what I was thinking when you said all of those things. The thing is I knew you were lying. I even called you out on it! But you still wouldn't just talk things over with me. You made me believe you were out somewhere finding the real Bella because, and I quote, 'I would never want you. I'm not supposed to want you.'"
Edward studied me for a moment. That electricity that never quite did go away after that one biology class was flowing so quickly I thought I would faint from it. "You really do believe that I didn't want you anymore. The most absurd, ridiculous concept—as if there were any way that I could exist without needing you." That's it, I need to sit or I am going to pass out from all of these stupid conflicting emotions. Edward was down on his knees now. I should have warned him ahead of time that I wasn't going to make this easy for him. "How can I put this so that you'll believe me?"
"Don't ask me! I barely can control what's coming out of my mouth, let alone yours too!"
He laughed and held my hands again. I love him! I love him! I love him! Just tell him that, you idiot! "I'm here for good and I love you. Ihave always loved you, and I will always love you. I was thinking of you, seeing your face in my mind, every second that I was away. When I told you that I didn't love you, it was the very blackest kind of blasphemy." Why am I being so cautious? Just jump on him already! You know you want to! Yes, but what if a new Bella moves to town? What happens then? I hate having so many voices in my head at once. I really need an aspirin. Edward's voice suddenly broke the silence again. "I'll prove it for you."
Well, that was way too fast and unexpected for me to react how I should have. One second, I was sitting on my bed, and the next I was in Edward's arms and he was doing just what my head wanted him to. He finally manned up and kissed me! Yay! Kiss back! Kiss back! "Edward, I believe you, okay? Stop!" What? No!
"Why?" His breath blew into my face, making my head pound even harder.
"Well, for one, I think my head is going to explode really soon, and you're not helping." Screw the headache, go make out with him more! Oh, shut up head. I rummaged around in my bag and found the aspirin finally. Sweet relief! Once I turned around, Edward was watching me again. This is starting to feel like I'm a science experiment. "Find what you're looking for?"
"You've changed, Bella. You're a lot more hesitant, careful, but still the same. I need to know why. Is it because I'm too late? Because I've hurt you too much? Because you have moved on, as I meant for you to? That would be…quite fair. I won't contest your decision. So don't try to spare my feelings, please—just tell me now whether or not you can still love me, after everything I've done to you. Can you?" Don't make that face, Edward! This is hard enough without you looking completely heart-broken.
I really couldn't stop myself from jumping into a huge hug for him. I mean, seriously his face could have made Leah cry. It was that sad. "I—I don't know." Yeah, that's right. Mumble into his chest, there's no way he could have heard that! No! Don't you do it, Bella! Forgive him. Forgive him now! He backed away, shocked, and started to say something but I cut him off. "No, I don't mean it in a bad way. Edward," Just take a deep breath and say it already, "I…" Come on! It's not even the first time you've said it! "I love you." He stopped frowning, actually breaking out into that crooked grin I love so darn much, and tried to interrupt me again. "No, let me get this out! I love you. I really do. I always have and I'm pretty sure I always will, just like you told me." He made a move that I know would have ended in lots of feverish kissing, but I stopped him yet again. He sure needs to relearn his manners. "I'm not finished. I love you so much, but all of this that happened did change me a lot, and it helped to realize something that's kind of huge between us." Don't do it. I will burst out in another headache if you do this! Ignore the voice in your head, and take a deep breath. "I may love you, but I don't trust you anymore."
Alright, Edward, your move. My heart might be breaking all over again, but this is me letting him go do whatever it is he wants to. "What are you saying?" Again with the damn sad look! I need Uncle Charlie to burst in my room soon if I'm going to make it through all of this.
"I don't know what I'm saying to be honest. I just know whenever I think about running over there and jumping into your arms, which is quite often just so you know, I start thinking what's going to happen to make you leave again." He ran his hand through his hair and was inches away from me yet again.
"Bella, I'm not leaving you ever again. I promise you, I'm here to stay. Please, what can I do?" Oh God, he's going to start crying just as hard as I want to! Actually, I think I am crying pretty hard.
Make me stop this! Kiss me! "Give me time. It's not that I don't want us to be back the way we were before you left, but I don't think I can handle that right now. I think it might be better for us if you and I could try to be…ridiculous as it sounds, friends." NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ARE YOU SERIOUS? FRIENDS! You can't be friends with him! You're in love with him! What the heck are you thinking? To be completely honest, I have no idea what the heck I'm thinking right now. This 'winging it' technique did not turn out the way I thought it would.
Edward's eyes locked with mine for a minute. I could see all the hurt and rejection he was feeling right now in his eyes, but he was trying really hard to hide it. He was going to try this…for me. Well, that definitely made my heart start racing. "If that's what you want…" I couldn't bring myself to say anything else or I probably would have burst out in a string of apologies and tell him to completely forget what I just said, so I just nodded. "You know this won't change anything, right? I'll never stop waiting for you, but I will do anything and everything I can to regain your trust."
"I don't have any doubts you'll be able to." I tried my hand at a smile. Maybe it was a smirk. Something like a smile while at the same time there were tears streaming down my face. "Eventually."
Edward gave me a small smile. I saw him playing with something in his pocket as he turned towards the open window. Oh my God! I completely forgot! He was going to propose! Oh my God. I changed my mind. I can't be friends with a guy who wants to marry me! Especially since I want to marry him too! Stop him! Stop him! You don't want to do this! You don't have to do this. You can stop all of this right now without any questions. "Wait!" Okay, whatever you do, don't cry! Don't cry! Don't cry! Don't cry!
Edward turned around right as he was about to jump out of my window, a glint of hope sparked in his eyes. "Yes, Bella?"
Heart pounding. Absolutely can't swallow. Sweet Jesus, this sucks. "Can I have my book back?" The book? Seriously? You were going to stop him and get your true love back!
That sure stopped him, but it was obvious that it wasn't what he wanted to hear. "Your book?" He played it totally cool like he really didn't know what I was talking about. Right now would be a good time for me to be able to read his mind.
I narrowed my eyes at him. "Don't play with me. I know you took Twilight before you left and it wasn't under my floorboards like the other things that had you in it were." Edward looked pretty nervous. I bet he didn't even realize that I would figure out that the book was missing. I had thought about burning it at one point, but I wouldn't have done it. I want it back now, though!
Edward narrowed his eyes right back at me. "Where are the rest of your books? I want to read them."
Crap it. Now I'm the one looking nervous. "Um, somewhere. I don't know, I think I burned them while you were gone one day." It would be pretty bad if he found out that Jacob found out about all the other books before Edward did. That is, of course, if Jacob even bothered to read that book yet. Edward obviously didn't believe me because of the look he sent me. "Alright, fine! I don't have one of them at the moment because I lent it to someone. But, there's no real reason for you to hurry with them because I wouldn't let you read the last one anyway."
And…now we circle! It is a high risk situation and neither of us is going to give up. "And why can't I read it?"
"Because I said so."
"What's in it?"
"Nothing of note."
"Bella…"
"Edward…"
"BELLA!"
"Edward, shut up! People are sleeping in this house."
"Let me see them!" We both took a large step towards one another, which made us inches apart. We were both ready to fight for our sides. I'm actually thinking of burying the last book somewhere so it'll never be found.
"Never!"
Edward stopped suddenly, causing me to almost trip over my own feet. He caught me before I made a huge face plant. "How about a trade?"
"What kind of trade?"
He was using his eyes against me now. He knows I can't resist them when they smolder like that! "I'll give you back your book if you give me the next one." This would be a good trade if I still actually had the second book with me.
"I can't." Edward stopped smoldering, and glared at me instead. He thinks I'm lying to him! Ha, good one. "I don't have it with me at the moment. I've been meaning to get the movie soon, though!" Maybe if I keep smiling, he won't ask who I gave it to.
"Bella, if you don't mind, can I ask who you lent them to?" Crap it!
"I—I gave them…to a friend of mine." Maybe I shouldn't smile, that way it'll seem very serious and not like Jacob at all.
I think Edward's reading my mind somehow. He looks really pissed all of a suddenly, almost like we're talking about Victoria again. "Bella…"
"Yes, Edward?"
"Did you give the books, which are about you and me and my family to the dogs?"
"Edward, I told you before, they aren't werewolves! They're more like shape shifters that just happen to shift into the shape of a wolf."
There goes his temper. "You gave those books to the wolves?"
Okay, I figured it was better to be completely honest with him, rather than cover up everything again. So, I spilled it all. "It was too hard to explain everything to him before I was leaving and he wouldn't shut up about me dying, so I had to give him some sort of reassurance that I wouldn't die if I went to Italy. Plus, I told him I knew exactly who he was going to end up with at the end so he would get off of my trail, which made him freak out about how I knew that so I had to show him that we weren't meant to be together because of what happens at the end of the second book, which actually didn't happen this time with us because I didn't let it happen because I'm not exactly a pushover like Bella in the book was and I wasn't going to just take you back immediately because I have more dignity than that and I don't need a man to make me happy!"
Edward looked confused again. "So…you didn't give the books to the wolves?"
Well, now it's my turn to completely lose it. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! I gave the first movie and the second book to Jacob not the entire pack, but he's probably going to tell them because they can all read each other's minds while they're in wolf form for some unexplained reason! Thank you, Stephanie Meyer, thank you!" Grr, I'm going to pull my hair out! I didn't realize I had all of this pent-up frustration in me.
"Would Stephanie Meyer tell me what was going on in the story if I asked her?"
Well, that was below the belt! "Look, I'm sorry for not telling you about this, but I think it comes better from a book rather than me just blurting out that in the book Bella tries to seduce Edward. I mean, would you rather hear from me that in the book Bella thought about getting into a relationship with Jacob right before she left for Italy to save Edward? And that a whole book is about the three of them in some twisted love triangle that only gets more twisted in the very last book? Would you want to hear all of this from an objective book narrated by a girl that you say doesn't exist or by me? If you want it from me it's going to be full of my own totally misguided opinions about all of this and a lot of curse words."
"I would enjoy hearing your opinions, not hers." Edward whispered.
I think it must be rounding close to my time of the month. "Well, you're not getting mine. Or hers until I get the book back from Jake."
"Jake?" Oh God! He thinks Jacob and me have something going on because I said what happened in the book! No, no, no! At the same time, I think Edward realized I wasn't going to tell him anything about those books other than he couldn't have them at the moment. He didn't look very happy with me, but he wasn't going to argue with me anymore. "I see." And now we have an awkward silence between us. How can we have an awkward silence? We can pretty much talk about anything and talk about it for months if we wanted to, and now, just because of what I said, we're going to be awkward around one another. "Well, I'd better be going then."
No, don't leave again! "Yeah, I guess you should." Well, just don't start crying again! Me and Edward can be friends if we really try hard, and it isn't like we aren't going to talk anymore. Right?
Oh, shit! Wait a minute, I have to get the Cullen's house to see who's going to turn me into a vampire! "Edward!" Darn it, he was already gone, and he left my window open. It's pretty cold outside, matching the way my heart feels right now.
This isn't fair! We didn't talk about when I'm going to become a vampire. And he didn't ask me to marry him, which probably would have been weird after I said I wanted to be friends. Why, oh why, did I ever say that? I should have forgiven him right off like book Bella did. Who cares if I don't trust him? I'll get over that eventually!
No! I do need this time to make sure I really can trust him again because trust it something that is very important in relationships, along with communication, which could be a bit better with us too. I mean, he might be thinking right now that I'm in love with Jacob or something just because I didn't tell him otherwise.
Okay, I know what I'm going to do. I've got to go tell the Cullens about all of the books, sans Breaking Dawn because that would just be embarrassing. But now I have to drive myself in my loud truck! This is so going to wake Uncle Charlie and Sue up and kill me for this, but I have to do it. Plus, I don't want Aro to be the one to turn me into a vampire on principle!
So, Ava and Alice better come through for me and volunteer to turn me!
Should I run yet? You know, there's only a few more chapters left before I get to Eclipse and I still can't really committ to a name yet! It's very frustrating!
Oh, and btw has anyone read the Short Second Life of Bree Tanner yet? I'm not sure if I want to buy it yet or wait until it's in the library...give me your opinion on it if you wouldn't mind...and review! remember...435!
Preview for the next chapter:
"And I would have actually tried to jump out of the window after that horrid speech about how I don't trust him and blah, blah, blah! Of course I trust him! I love him for God's sake! Why wouldn't I trust him? I mean, I trust Jacob, don't I? Well, I sure as hell don't love him like I do Edward! Why did I do this? This is so much worse than having Edward gone! He's going to be my friend? Ahh, I give up!" I stopped my car in the middle of the road to slam my head onto my steering wheel multiple times. After all, I'm in Forks. There's no way I would be hit on this road. Even if I did get hit, I would deserve it!
"Now why did you go and do something stupid like this?" A voice broke through my head banging.
