Who I Am Inside
Dylan sat up and yawned, finally waking from her restless night. She stretched out on her king-sized Temperpedic bed, reaching for her Verizon Droid at the same time. She looked down at the phone, waiting for a message from Massie to pop up. She wanted Massie to tell her it was all just a joke, to say that she was actually healthy and fine, still alive. She wanted Massie to say, 'Hey, let's have a sleepover and reconnect and laugh and be best friends!'
But Dylan knew better. She knew that Massie wasn't healthy and fine. She knew Massie wasn't going to call her and tell her to reconnect. She knew Massie wasn't alive.
Dylan flopped back on the bed, feeling sore from the crying. Her eye's felt dry, and her lungs ached. Dylan waited for a minute, then got out of her bed, sliding on her slippers as she walked into the kitchen.
"Hey Mom," Dylan rasped, her throat feeling like sandpaper.
"Oh sweetie." Merri-Lee Marvel said, pulling her only daughter into a hug. Dylan curled into her mother's size two figure, waiting for the tear's to stream out of her eye's. But she was out of tears, and knew they wouldn't come. Just like Massie.
"Here, let me get you a glass of water. And here's some toast. Only one piece though. Don't want to start you off to heavy." Merri-Lee said, filling a giant glass to the brim with water. She set the plate of toast and the glass of water in front of Dylan. Dylan gulped down the water first, then took a slow bite into her toast.
"Thanks Mom." She said, nibbilng on the end. "Is Kristen up yet?"
"No, not yet. I hope she's okay. This really can't be easy for her, after everything that's happened." Merri-Lee said, the corners of her mouth turning down. Dylan nodded, understanding her mom.
"I'm gonna go check on her." Dylan croaked, pushing the other half of the bread away. Merri-Lee knew that Dylan should eat more, but nodded anyways, putting the plate into the sink. Dylan walked along tiled floor, reaching Kristen's door on the left. She quietly pushed the door open, stepping in silently. She saw Kristen, still buried under her covers, mumbling in her sleep. Dylan sighed, the sat next to Kristen's bed, looking at the girls sweet face. Kristen sighed in her sleep, then flipped around restlessly. Dylan knew the feeling.
Dylan waited for hours, the sun peeking through the shades, waiting for Kristen to awake. Finally, just as Dylan was about to grab something light and easy to digest to eat, Kristen's eyelids fluttered opened.
"Hey." Dylan whispered, jumping out of her lounge chair, and closer to Kristen.
"Hey." She whispered back roughly, looking up at Dylan.
"Are you okay?" Dylan asked nervously, taking Kristen's hand in hers.
"As okay as you are, probably. Maybe a touch worse." Kristen smiled weekly, smoothing her hair. Dylan laughed without humor.
"So..."
"What do you want to do?" Kristen asked, sitting up. She yawned for a quick second then looked at Dylan with dead eyes. Dylan shivered, trying to find a little life left in Kristen. She did manage to see a little, but it was a quick flash.
"Uhm, let's go eat." Dylan suggested. She noticed Kristen gulp at the thought of consuming food, but Dylan led her to the kitchen.
"Oh, Kristen." Merri-Lee said, taking her half daughter into a hug. Kristen hugged her back lightly, a few tears escaping. Merri-Lee rocked her back and forth, whispering something into her ear, to low for Dylan to hear. Dylan walked over to the fridge, noticing the sun set behind the horizon. Dylan grabbed a yogurt for her and Kristen, along with a packet of Saltines. Kristen pulled away from Merri-Lee, sitting next to Dylan. She pulled out a Saltine, an nibbled on the edges.
"So, what are you girl's going to do today - or, I guess tonight. You slept the whole day away!" Merri-Lee giggled.
"I dunno. Probably just hang out." Dylan answered. Kristen nodded, pulling another cracker out of the packet.
"Okay. Well, you girls be good." Merri-Lee said, exiting the kitchen. Dylan nodded a second to late, then turned to Kristen. Kristen patted Dylan's shoulder, then turned to look out the window, words escaping her.
Derrick stared at the ceiling, waiting for the news. For his mom to bust into his room and tell him that Massie was alive, and she was at their doorstep begging for him to take her back. And he knew he would. He would jump down all the steps and look into two pools of firey amber, and ask her if she meant it. She would say yes, and he would kiss her with enough passion to start another sun. They would then run off to Vegas and marry, have kids and grow old, then die side by side, happy as can be.
Derrick waited.
And waited.
And waited.
And waited.
But no news ever came.
Tears stung his eyes, and Derrick let them fall. He closed his eyes, seeing Massie's perfect face behind his eyelids. He sobbed, clutching where his heart use to be. But Massie had took it with her. He felt his phone vibrate on his pillow, but didn't make an effort to get it. He just kept crying, wishing Massie was alive.
Alicia stepped out of the shower, feeling fresh. She dried herself off with a towel, then slipped into her favorite pair of sweatpants. She put on her favorite baggy sweatshirt, and sat in her reading corner. Only she wasn't going to read.
Alicia tapped her cucumber mask, making sure it was drying as she opened the note from Massie again. She reread the letter, stopping over a few lines.
'Use you for your title... it's in the alpha rule book... follow you for information... make up rumors... get into your pants.'Alicia sighed, trying not to let her tears escape. She took a deep, shaky breath. She took out her MacBook Air, clicking on the Internet tab. She quickly ignored her Facebook home page, switching to Google.
How do you stop a friendship? Alicia typed, regretting every word. She wished she could go back to before Massie was dead, to when she was blind to every detail of what everyone else thought of her. To when she was able to smirk at Massie, and feel no guilt. But, like old times, Massie came in a ruined everything, leaving Alicia to pick up the broken piece, hoping they wouldn't cut her this time.
Claire looked at her face in the mirror, not liking what she saw. It wasn't the Claire she was use to. It wasn't the Claire anyone was use to. It was a mean, twisted girl, with harsh eyes, lined heavily with smeared make up, a tense jaw, and clear skin, helped with expensive face wash she would have never had if it hadn't been for the BC. Her eyebrows were perfectly plucked, something she swore she would never have done, and her hair fell into perfect place, looking like she never washed it, or slept on it. Her nail were manicured to perfection, the white crisp and clear, never breaking.
She knew none of this was bad, or so it seemed, but she also knew that this wasn't Claire. At least not Claire Lyons. She had it all; good 'friends', the perfect spot in the popular crowd, an ah-mazing boyfriend, who she cheated on all the time, the looks, the style, everything.
But Claire was willing to trade it all back for who she once was.
She rose a shaky hand, touching the small make up mirror that was surrounded by lights. It was bright enough to show every imperfection, but Claire couldn't find one. Her hand ran across the outside of her reflection, leaving one small streak on the spotless glass. Claire looked at it with sudden anger now, picking it up off her desk and smashing it onto her hardwood flooring, watching the pieces shatter. Claire watched them dance across her floor, until they finally settled. Claire watched the setting sun shine over the pieces, then stood up to get a broom and dust pan.
She sighed, then got down on her knee's, sweeping the bigger pieces into the dustpan. She reached to pick up a small piece, but cut her index finger on accident.
"Shit." She muttered, watching a small drop of blood form from the tiny hole. Claire looked at it a second longer, feeling a slight relief from the tiny amount of pain it caused. Before Claire could realize what she was doing, a sharp piece of glass was in her hand, pressing at her fore arm.
Claire watched wide eyed as it slid easily across her skin, making a line as big as a three quaters long. A small line of blood trickled from the gap in her skin. Claire went to the bathroom, getting a paper towel to clean up the mess, along with a large band-aid, fighting a happy sigh.
But Claire wasn't in her body anymore. She was up on the ceiling, watching the scene below, getting a good rushing high from the pain.
Cam looked up at the moon over his head, unable to sleep. His eyes felt heavy from missing two days straight of sleep, the purple lines drawing marks under his eyes like a marker on paper. But still, he would not sleep. Not after what happend.
Cam kept imagining Massie's perfect body, read with blood, the creepy smile on her face while Josh cried over her body. He felt the note in his pocket, Massie's perfect hand cursive making it's marks on the lined paper, just as she had with their lives. He knew what she said was true, thinking of how Claire snuck around, 'behind his back', bitched to him, and bitched about him to others. Cam knew he and Claire could never be.
But something stopped him.
Cam knew that he didn't want to be with Claire, and couldn't, but he also couldn't break up with her. Something just stopped him. Maybe it was becuase he didn't want to be alone. Maybe it was because Massie's words punched the realization out. Maybe it was becuase Claire had been in his life forever. Maybe it was becuase something about her connected him to something else he needed.
Cam shot up off of his desk chair, the second realization hitting him harder than Massie's had. Cam reached for his phone, then hit speed dial five. the phone rang seven painful times before he heard her voice on the other end.
"Hello?"
William stared up at his white ceiling while his wife slept soundly next to him. Her even breathing didn't calm him down, not because he knew they weren't together anymore, but because they weren't together anymore.
Soon, there would be no one to come home to, no one to kiss at the end of the day, no one to say 'I love you', and actually mean it. Sure, he'd cheated on her, but that was becuase Kendra didn't quite meet his needs in bed. William turned to his wife, and looked at her thin back. He knew that it would take a lot to convice her to stay with him, since she didn't believe he still loved her. William thought Kendra was only doing this because it seemed like that was what Massie thought of them, but he wasn't sure.
All he knew was that he had to let her know his true feelings before next Wednesday.
Tra-la-la-la-la... Oh hey!
Don't think I forgot about this story silly! I never could! I just had a MAJOR writers block for some reason. Grr... It's really pissing me off... Just sayin'
So what do you think? I know it was a bit confusing and short, but I was like, "This is the best I can do, and it kinda set's up whatever happens next, soo... yeah."
Cutting yourself is not a good thing to do. If you need help, please talk to someone, or call the HELP hotline (Sorry, but I don't know the number)
Kinda needed to include that becuase of Claire... Yeah. They need to make a sheepish-looking smiley face. :)
GASP! Drama!
Hehe, I hate drama, but in the stories I write, it's just kinda a little perfect. ;)
Oh, and the title is from the song in Mulan that goes, "When will me reflection show, who I am, inside?"
I was gonna do the whole thing, but it felt to long. And I felt the need to tell you that. Just so you would know. :)
So, now you review my story, and PLEASE do it. Or I'll find you.
;)
xoxo, join. me. in. the. thunder
