Hey folks, im sooooooooooooo sorry it's taken so long to update i only got my laptop back today, i seriously dont know how i survived as long as i did without this site, but somehow i managed. It's gonna take forever to catch up on everyone else's fics (i don't mind i love reading them)I have the next couple of chapters drafted out luckily, so i hope you like this one although you may needto re-read the previous one as it has been sooo long, that is if people are still interested, so please R&R. oh and thanks ever so much to everyone that has reviewed previously your reviews mean an awful lot so i'm truly grateful for them, thanks.

Chapter 17:- The Lost Years

After several minutes of hugging, being closed off from the space around them, being in a little world of their own, at that moment no one else mattered than each other. Ronnie and Danielle finally separated from the hug, both were still at eye level, gazing into each others eyes, neither daring to look away. Ronnie reached out and pushed back the lonely piece of that had once again fallen infront of Danielle's eyes, behind her ear, smiling at her as she did so, this smile was now there to stay, every time she looked at Danielle she wanted to smile and keep on smiling. Danielle was her daughter, she couldn't imagine being any happier, Danielle was everything to her, she was her world. All feelings of worry, guilt, anger and any bad feelings Ronnie had was pushed to the back of her mind leaving only room for good happy emotions, the ones that she wanted Danielle to see, to be proud of, not the cold exterior layer that once surrounded her. Now Ronnie had so much to look forward to, to be proud of, all the negative things that could happen, had been pushed away out of sight and out of mind.

Danielle grinned at Ronnie, these were the moments she had been looking forward to and had dreamt about for nineteen years. Ronnie got up from her knees, still standing in front of Danielle, she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and spoke "so if you want to get changed in here baby, I'll use the bathroom ok". Danielle merely stared at the ceiling, she didn't want Ronnie to see the look of disappointment in her eyes, she was disappointed that Ronnie was leaving Danielle alone again, that she would be sleeping alone, once again, dreaming about Ronnie, Danielle was trying to hide the fact that she was deeply wounded.

Danielle realised that she hadn't replied to what Ronnie had said moments ago, Ronnie was standing helplessly infront of Danielle, "sorry, erm, yes ok" Danielle spoke forcing back the tears as she turned around pulling her backpack up close on the bed behind her. Ronnie nodded nervously, still clutching her pyjama's, she edged towards the hall nervously, once Ronnie was out of sight, Danielle unzipped her bag and searched through for something to wear for bed. Right at the bottom of her bag, Danielle pulled out a slightly crumpled pink night shirt with a big grey teddy on, below the teddy were the words 'hug me', which made Danielle chuckle slightly looking at them. Her choice of night wear was slightly different to Ronnie's, making Danielle slightly embarrassed by even down at the crumpled nightie she held in her hands.

Danielle got changed quickly just incase Ronnie walked in, where as Ronnie took her time, giving Danielle plenty of time to get undressed then into her pyjama's. Ronnie was on edge, she had to tread carefully, she didn't want to do anything to upset Danielle or push her too far. Ronnie so desperately wanted to hold her daughter, to fall asleep holding her for the first time. Ronnie believed that it may be too much for Danielle right now, unaware that Danielle wanted exactly the same thing, she was just too scared to sat and maybe it wasn't what Ronnie wanted.

After getting washed and changed herself, Ronnie made her way back into her bedroom, with pyjama's on, freshly brushed hair, a now clean from tear stains face and minty smell that lingered from newly brushed teeth. Danielle was sitting in exactly the same place Ronnie had left her except now she was sitting in a pale pink night shirt, also like Ronnie with freshly brushed hair. She sat playing with the locket around her neck, this was her comfort Ronnie thought, Danielle looked so sweet, sitting nervously on the edge of the bed in her nightie, she looked so young and lost.

Danielle's head snapped up as she saw Ronnie's feet infront of her eyes, where she gazed upon the floor at her own. Ronnie was smiling down at Danielle, before today Danielle couldn't ever remember seeing her mother smile, not a false smile, she'd seen Ronnie's false smile many times, an actual proper natural from the heart smile. Ronnie was now so happy and content, she just wasn't sure what Danielle wanted. Ronnie ushered Danielle up the bed under the covers, tucking her in as if she were a child, Danielle guessed Ronnie was just making up for lost time, not that she minded the slightest. Danielle liked being mothered by Ronnie, it was something she had missed since her adoptive mother had died.

Ronnie bent down and placed a kiss on Danielle's forehead, she spoke quietly so that Danielle could just about hear " I love you so much baby" Danielle heard this loud and clear, she grinned up at Ronnie "I love you too, more than you could imagine" leaning up to kiss Ronnie on the cheek as she finished speaking. Ronnie was so proud, she could've cried there and then. "Night sweetie" Ronnie spoke placing one more kiss on Danielle's forehead. "Night" Danielle replied as she watched Ronnie get up and exit the room walking slowly as if holding back for something. Danielle opened her mouth to speak as she watched Ronnie disappear into darkness, but no words came out, she wanted to call out, for Ronnie to stay with her, but she couldn't bring herself to say it. Danielle lay alone in the middle of Ronnie's bed, tucked neatly under the covers, allowing sleep to overcome her as she slowly drifted off.

Ronnie sat alone on the made up sofa, thinking, around an hour ago her beautiful daughter, had told her she loved her, she was with her baby, something she never thought she would ever have but why did she feel so alone. She desperately wanted to hold Danielle, so she decided to check to see if she was awake. Ronnie got up from the sofa onto her feet and gently padded along to the bedroom, trying not to make any noise. She popped her around the door checking for signs of life, listening for sound and watching for movement. Nothing was seen and nothing was heard apart from the soft gentle wheezing of Danielle's breathe.

Ronnie made her way over to the bed her daughter so peacefully slept in and slid onto the edge carefully trying not to disturb Danielle. She wriggled down gently, to eye level with Danielle moving in close, wanting to hold her baby, Ronnie lightly wrapped an arm around Danielle's waist under the duvet. Ronnie lay on her side, stroking Danielle's hair softly with her spare hand, listening to the sound of her daughters gentle breath as she slept, her chest slowly rising and falling. Feeling the warmth of her daughters body against her own was overwhelming for Ronnie, she began to think about all the things that herself and Danielle could do together and all the things that she would do for Danielle, trying to make up for the lost years they shared between them, for all the things she had missed out on as a mother. Ronnie's thoughts continued as she drifted into sleep with her baby daughter in her arms, where she should be.

thanks for reading, please review if possible and sorry if it doesnt make any sense, i'm half asleep typing it up so there may be a few errors. thanks love charlotte xx