Or Letting Go

"Josh... Are you okay?" Olivia asked to Josh's limp figure. She'd managed to drag him into her house and up into her bedroom, but so far he wasn't coming around.

"Josh-hhh. Anyone in there?" Olivia asked again, poking Josh lightly in the ribs. Josh mumbled something, finally moving into a slight sitting position.

"Liv?" He asked weakly.

"I'm right here," She said, leaning towards him and wrapping an arm around his back.

"Good. That's good..." Josh said lightly.

"Josh, I need you to drink this." Olivia pushed a can of sparkling water up to Josh's lips. He swallowed a little, then opened his eyes.

"Hey." He said, linking his eye's with hers.

"Hi," Olivia smiled timidly.

"What am I doing in you're room?"

"Well, you kinda passed out in the car. I dragged you in here." Olivia giggled, unwrapping her arm from him.

"Oh. Thanks." Josh said, stretching and standing up. Olivia held the drink out to him, and he took it, sipping carefully.

"How long have I been out?"

"Not long. About ten mintues. I almost started getting worried." Olivia giggled again.

"Geeze. I'm sorry about that. I was just a bit... Shocked."

"I can imagine. Sorry about dumping all that on you."

"It's okay. I'm glad I know now." Josh said, holding his hand out to Olivia. She took it and he hoisted her off the bed, then let her lead him to the kitchen, their hand's still intertwined. It felt weird to Josh. He'd only held Massie's hand for so long, and it never felt like this. Holding Olivia's hand was like finding that perfect Ralph Lauren Polo. The one that fit perfectly, was warm and comfortable.

"Sorry about the lack of food. Our house keeper's on vacation, and my parent's are on a buisness trip in France. I haven't gotten around to the market yet." Olivia said sheepishly, handing a box of Cookie Crisps to Josh and digging a hand into her box of Fruity Pebbles.

"It's okay. I love Cookie Crisps." Josh laughed, popping a miniature cookie into his mouth.

"Good, 'cause I wasn't gonna give you any Fruity Pebbles," Olivia laughed too, grabbing a carton of milk and a two bowls. Josh sat a the wooden counter in the high tech kitchen, pouring some cereal into the bowl. Olivia handed him a spoon, then got out two glass cups. She dug around in the panty for a minute before pulling out three packages of Double Stuff Oreos.

"Score!" She grinned, putting the boxes on the counter with the milk. She poured herself a bowl of cereal, then took a big bite.

"You eat a lot for being so skinny." Josh commented between mouthfuls of Cookie Crisps.

"Well, I love Zumba. That helps." Olivia said, still standing on the other side of the island. She leaned on the counter, setting her bowl down with her elbows on either side, looking at Josh.

"Zumba?"

"It's like a dance workout. I have a video if you wanna try it." Olivia grinned wickedly.

"Maybe. I'm good for now." Josh laughed, ripping open the plastic on the first package and dunking an Oreo in the glass of milk.

"Way to start without me," Olivia rolled her eyes, grabbing Josh's bowl and putting it in the sink with her's before grabbing an Oreo for herself.

"In a dog eat dog world, you gotta look out for yourself." Josh laughed. Being with Olivia made him forget about Massie and school and all that crap. It felt good.

"So, are you really okay? And don't lie," Olivia said seriously, the joke suddenly being pulled out of her.

"Well, it's tough. I truly believed I loved Massie. With all my heart. But then she went and... And I realized that I didn't. So I'm somewhere in between." Josh answered honsetly. Olivia wasn't an annoying ditz everyone made her out to be.

"I see what you mean. I loved Massie man. She was like a sister to me. But losing her... I couldn't cope at first. And it feels rediculous to think that was only two days ago, but something changed..." Olivia looked deeply into Josh's eyes, losing her train of thought.

"I know," Josh murmered dreamily, standing up and moving around the counter towards Olivia. "You're water?" He asked.

"Just use the sink," Olivia replied, pointing to the stainless steel faucet.

"Thanks," Josh moved towards it, filling up his glass and taking a long drink. He kept his eyes on Olivia, and when he finished the glass, he moved to stand next to her.

"So..."

"So..." Olivia replied, looking up into his chocolate eyes. Josh leaned down a little, and Olivia stood on her toes, pressing her full lips against his. Josh wound his fingers in her hair, and Olivia clutched to his shirt, pulling him down to her. Just as they went up for more air, Josh opened his eyes and saw Olivias perfect looks, her flushed cheeks, full lips, and silver hair.

"Stop. Oliva, stop," Josh said firmly, pushing Olivia away.

"Wh-"

"I'm not ready yet. I'm so sorry," Josh said, moving towards the front door while grabbing his coat. Olivia watched him go, touching her lips with her fingers. The note in her pocket was burning a hole through her Disel jeans, so she pulled it out and unfolded it again.

...Try. Please try. It seems so wrong for me to ask you, but I have to. I know that you two belong together. I told Josh to never be with another girl from BOCD, but you're different. Please. Try...

Olivia didn't think Massie was so wrong now.


Clarie stumbled through her front door, banging into the doorframe before racing up the steps to her room.

"Clarie! I need you're help with... Are you okay?" Todd asked, coming out of his room holding a hot glue gun and a piece of paper.

"Fine," Claire said, even though the smeared make up, deep purple lines under her eyes, open backpack and loose clothes begged to differ.

"Are you sure?" Fourteen year-old Todd asked, looking into his sisters clouded blue eyes.

"Positive." Claire said, moving into her room. Today had been pure hell, with Dylan and Kristen fighting Alicia. She'd finally broken down and had a few hits with Kemp. They'd also shared a bottle of vodka, and after that, things had been rather fuzzy. All she knew was that she's woken up in his car, alone, with a different shirt and unbuttoned jeans.

"Claire, can you help me with this English project? I need-"

"Not now Todd. I have my own homework!" Claire yelled at him, which was totally unlike her. Claire took a few deep breaths, then rummaged through her bedside table's drawer, and pulled out her Swiss Army knife.

"Fucking high school," Claire said, pulling it along her forearm, "Fucking friends. Fucking life. Fucking Massie." Clarie tore the kinfe at her skin. The pain that numbed her right arm gave her satisfaction, but Claire frowned apon it.

She'd read enough Seventeen magazines to know that self destruction was wrong. She'd even vowed never to do it with Massie in ninth grade.

Ha, that was funny.

But even though she knew Massie hadn't kept her end of the vow intact, did that mean she could breach it too?

Clarire pondered this thought while the blood dripped down her arm and onto the wooden floor, creating a small, crimson red puddle.

One little detail Claire forgot.


"So are you okay?" Cam asked, swinging his hand up in the air, Kristen's following.

"Well, I dunno. I miss her so much, but she wasn't a huge part of my life for the last year. It's weird to think about it. I want to cry over her, to mourn like crazy, but I can't when the guilt of shunning her for the past year is in my stomach." Kristen admitted, taking slow steps on the paved pathway.

"I know what you mean. I guess this is where we have to stay until we find something to help us." Cam agreed, looking around the empty park. A few older women sat on a wooden bench, gossiping about their old high school slut, but other than them, he and Kristen were the only one's in the park.

"I guess," Kristen said, stopping under the crabbapple tree that was in bloom, "Cam, did you ever think we'd be together?" She asked, refering to their intertwinded fingers.

"No, not really. I'd always thought Clarie was my entire life. I guess I never really thought hard enough about looking past her and seeing other things." Cam said, looking into Kristen's teal blue eyes.

"Oh," Kristen said, looking at the pink flowers that hung just above their heads. Cam reached an arm up and pucked a flower from the tree, then tucked it behind Kristen's left ear while she blushed madly. He stroked his fingers across her cheekbone, then leaned in until mere centimeters were keeping their faces apart.

"But I'm glad I finally did," He said, pressing his lips against hers.


Derrick looked out the window with lonely eyes, his insides feeling empty and cold. He tucked the blanket further up to his chin and sighed.

Massie had been his life. Sure, not talking to her had made it somewhat difficult, but watching her from across the cafeteria, keeping tabs on the mesmerizing laugh that filtered through his ears every day had made things more bareable. But now...

Now she was gone. And so was Derrick's heart.

Derrick knew he couldn't live without Massie. But could he end his life like she did? Derrick couldn't even imagine it. Or could he...

"Hey," Derrick's older sister Sammi said softly from behind him. She looked at him with sad blue eye as she tucked her caramel blond hair behind her ear.

"Hey."

"Everything okay?"

"No." Derrick said, still looking out the window at his pine tree. He and his dad had planted it when he was five, and he and Sammi use to play hide-and-seek in it when they were both younger. That felt like ages ago now.

"If you wanna talk, I'm here. But not pressure." Sammi said softly again, stepping forward to touch his left shoulder before walking out and shutting the door silently behind her.

Derrick thought about what Sammi said, about talking to someone. Could he go to someone and tell them about what he was feeling?

No, he knew he couldn't. They would tell him that Massie would want him to move on, to live his life again. But Derrick knew he couldn't, not without Massie at his side.

And there was only one way to get Massie back to his side.


"Ah-Leesh-ah!" Nadia Rivera called up to her daughter.

"Yes mom?" Alicia asked.

"Can you call you're little friends sometime this week? We want to have a graduation/memories party for Massie Block."

"Sure mom," Alicia rolled her eyes, tapping on her wooden desk with her manicured fingernails.

"Thank you bebe." Nadia said, clacking away from their spiral staircase. Alicia picked up her iPhone and tapped on the E-mail App. She added all her contacts to the Send To: box and typed a short e-mail.

Hi everyone, it's Alicia, of course.

My family and I are having a party to celebrate graduatining and in memory of Massie Block on the...

"Mom! What day?" Alicia yelled.

"Probably next Friday dear!" Nadia shouted back.

-next Friday, June the first.

I'll expect to see you there.

-Alicia.

Alicia read the e-mail once over, then pressed send. She sighed, then sat back in her big desk chair and rubbed her temples.

Sure, she had accomplished the 'How to Lose a Friend', part of her mission, but she didn't want it to go like that, nor did she want to much such a scene. Alicia sighed again, then got up to take a shower.

Maybe she could wash away all of her problems.


Sorry for the sucky chapters. I've been kinda outta it lately.

So what did you think? I feel bad for making Derrick all depressed while Cam and Kristen are like, totally in love. And with Josh and Olivia...

Any thoughts?

And sorry for not fitting Dylan anywhere in there. I didn't know where to put her. My b. :)

So review please! :)

Hot chocolate and s'mores,

xoxo, join. me. in. the. thunder