Hey Everyone, latest chapter is up, I hope you all like it, Thanks to those that reviewed my previous chapter, also I would really appreciate reviews for this chapter. I have noticed that my reviews have decreased for my previous several chapters, so I think either my story is now completely pants and is not liked enough to be reviewed or some just dont read it, I don't know. I'd just really like to know what people think or ways that I can improve, or even things you'd like to see in future chapters. Anyway please R'n'R thanks for reading Charlotte x

Chapter 20:-Things that need saying

Ronnie looked around scanning for a place Danielle could have gone, her heart was beating so fast, she was sure it would pop out of her chest any second, THINK!! THINK!! she thought to herself over and over, she had no idea where Danielle liked to go when she was down and wanted to get away from everything, get away from Ronnie. Ronnie turned scanning The Square for sight of Danielle, her eyes locked on a blonde head disappearing into the distance of the direction of the park, she felt her feet carrying her in the direction of the park, in a speed Ronnie hadn't remembered ever using, carrying her so fast, she could trip any minute, but she didn't care, she just wanted to get to Danielle, there was so many things that Ronnie needed to say to Danielle, things that had to be said.

Reaching the park Ronnie stopped, it was empty apart from a small blonde figure sitting on the swing. Danielle was slowly pushing the swing with her feet, clutching onto the chains either side, head hanging down, hair covering her eyes. Ronnie carefully walked over, trying not to be heard, she gently sat down on the swing beside Danielle. "I'm sorry" Danielle spoke softly, Ronnie was unable to see her daughters face as her hair was covering it but she could tell by the cracking in Danielle's voice that she had obviously been crying, Ronnie felt uncomfortable she didn't know how to comfort her daughter, she just wanted to grab Danielle, hold her baby and never let go, telling her everything would be ok, but things weren't that simple, she didn't want to push Danielle, one wrong move and Danielle would be out of her life for ever. "Don't you dare say that!, don't you ever say that, you have nothing to be sorry for" Ronnie spoke softly, but a little angered that Danielle was apologising, reaching over, slowly brushing the back of Danielle's hair with her hand. "No but I have, Roxy's right I should have told you sooner, just let me explain, please?" Danielle told Ronnie, she wanted Ronnie to hear what she had to say."Sure sweetie, but you don't have to OK?, I'll understand" Ronnie said trying not to pressure Danielle into anything she didn't want to do. This was going to be so painful to hear but it's what her daughter wanted, she owed it to Danielle to listen, no matter how much it pained her.

Danielle sat on the swing, gently pushing with her feet whilst she looked down at her shoes, "No really, I want to" Danielle insisted not lifting her head, to make eye contact with Ronnie, her eyes lay focussed on the ground. Ronnie nodded allowing Danielle to speak, she then felt daft, Danielle couldn't see her head to know that she was nodding "yes OK" she said quickly, trying to not to leave too big a gap in the silence between them. Danielle knew this would be upsetting for both her and Ronnie, but Ronnie needed to hear it, if she didn't like it she'd just have to suck it up and take it, Danielle needed to let it all out, seven months of rejection and longing was about to come out. "So when I first arrived I didn't really know where to find you, I didn't know my way around, I'd been told you'd be at the Vic but after a couple of days I realised you wasn't there, on my first day here I got talking to Stacey and she gave me a job on the stall, I did originally go to the Vic, but Roxy said no 'cause I had no experience, anyway it must have been about a week maybe two before I first saw you, you were on your bike going past the Square, I thought you looked amazing on it, but Stacey said you were just like a big kid showing off" Danielle stopped quickly, she didn't know if she'd hurt Ronnie's feelings, which didn't go unnoticed by Ronnie, who let out a little giggle "well Stacey, never did like me much anyway" Ronnie said in a cheery voice, trying to show Danielle that she wasn't hurt by what she had said.

"Right, so anyway, I got a Job in the Vic cleaning, and I didn't see you much after that, I think I saw you a couple of times in the Vic and the Club, The first time I ever spoke to you, I was so happy 'cause you knew my name, then you asked me to get your letters, which was a bit strange, but I did it anyway, and of course that went wrong 'cause your Dad caught me, he went mad at me and then you said 'I thought I could trust her but I was wrong' which I was slightly upset about, but I tried to not let it bother me" Danielle explained allowing the tears to fall freely down her cheeks carrying her make-up with them.

"I'm so sorry" Ronnie spoke softly but slightly croaky as if she were about to cry, or already had been crying, tears were welling in her eyes, she was trying her best to hold them back, but not seceding very well as every now and then one escaped freely flowing down her cheek.

Danielle shook her head and began to speak again "Then your Dad made me take one of your letters, he used to really scare me, well you found out and went mental at me when I was on the Stall, you really lost it, I hadn't ever seen you so angry before that. Stacey told me to forget it, you weren't worth it, but I was really upset so I ran back to the Slater's I locked myself in the Kitchen, lay on the floor and cried into my locket" Danielle explained between sobs towards the end, tears were now flowing uncontrollably down her cheeks as were Ronnie's. Ronnie couldn't bear it, hearing that she'd caused her daughter so much pain, her daughter lay alone crying because of her, all the heart-ache Danielle suffered was because of her, Danielle had changed as a person because of her. Ronnie removed herself from the swing and knelt down infront of Danielle "I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry baby" Ronnie sobbed over and over, pulling her daughter into a hug, crying into her hair, Danielle wrapped her arms around Ronnie's back and lay her head onto her mothers shoulder. "I wanted to get to know you first and for you to know me, to like me. I tried so many times to tell you, but every time I got close you pushed me away. At Christmas I was so alone, I was gonna go back to Telford but I decided to stay here instead, I just wanted someone to love me, you said I wasn't lonely, I was just independent, I sent you card and you ripped it up practically, infront of me" Danielle clung tighter to Ronnie, the more she thought it about it, the more painful memories came flooding back, ones she'd tried so hard to forget, but she needed to let them out, holding them in just hurt her more and she needed to explain to Ronnie how she felt.

Ronnie didn't know what to say, hearing about Danielle's suffering, the suffering she herself had caused hurt her, it was like someone was continuously stabbing at her heart with a knife. " I'd had an argument with Stacey I'd worked for you in the club when I was supposed to be watching Jean and I wasn't there she threw a blanket over the heater and it burned, Stacey then kicked me out, there was the interview, I really felt like we had a connection, but...well you know how that ended, that day I found out I was pregnant, I slept rough for a couple of nights, it was one of the worst times of my life and I was alone" Danielle explained trying to hold back her tears, wanting to show Ronnie she was strong, but she wanted Ronnie to know exactly what she had went through. It wasn't that she wanted to upset Ronnie or to make her suffer, she just wanted her to understand what she had been through and that no matter how much she tried to forget she could remember these times like they were just yesterday. Ronnie's tears spilled down her face onto her daughters shoulder. "I'm so sorry baby, if I'd have known, I know it's not an excuse, I don't have the right to treat anyone like that and I hate myself for it" Ronnie explained forcing back the tears, trying not to seem weak infront of her daughter.

Danielle ignored Ronnie's words and continued "Then you let me stay, I was so happy yet so scared, you came with me to the clinic and held my hand, after that I had it all planned out, we were going to go for a meal and I was going to tell you. But you cancelled on me, you told me your life would have been better if you'd had an abortion, I was so alone, I just wanted my mum" Danielle sobbed continuously into Ronnie's shoulder, clinging tighter as she spoke, too afraid to let go incase Ronnie disappeared ashamed of her daughter for everything she'd done. "I...don't think...think I...I can do it...Ronnie...It hurts too much" Danielle explained through her tears letting her emotions spill out without control.

Ronnie hugged her daughter back tightly, "it's ok sweetie, I know it hurts, it hurts me to know that I've done this to you, that I've caused you so much pain, and if I could take it all back I would, you don't have to talk about it, I understand" Ronnie explained letting Danielle know a small deal of how Ronnie felt. "No Ronnie, I don't think I can do this...us, thinking about it all hurts too much, before I came here I didn't even know such pain was possible, to be made to feel like your nothing" Danielle spoke in a calm quiet voice without looking at Ronnie, pulling away as she spoke. Ronnie let out a little sob, but stopped quickly trying to hide the fact that she was deeply wounded. Ronnie gently placed her hands on her daughters cheeks and softly pulled her head up to make eye contact, Danielle's eyes were red and blotchy, this was her little girl, yet she'd caused her so much heart-ache, she just wanted to let her daughter to know that she was truly sorry. "Dani baby, If I could take all this pain away from you I would, but I can't I'll never forgive myself for what I've done to you, I know it's going to take time, but I'm willing to wait, I'll do anything for you, I love you more than you could imagine, I'll do whatever makes you happy, I just want you to know that no matter what, I'm always here for you" Ronnie explained eyes wide with fear, tears continuously flowing down her face showing no signs of stopping. Ronnie knew things would never be that easy, she was disgusted with herself that she'd caused anyone let alone her daughter so much pain, she'd practically destroyed her life. She wanted her daughter more than anything, she would do anything to be with her, but you never get what you wish for and for sure this was going to be a bumpy ride.

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