Chapter 21:- Whatever It Takes
The sun was settling between the clouds, it wasn't a hot day but it was sunny and there was no sign of rain. It was approaching dinnertime in Albert square, the market was emptying and the Café and Vic were slowly filling up with people on their lunch breaks. Across the square was silent all that could be heard was the swinging doors of the Vic and the odd scuffle of feet as someone occasionally made their way along the market or across the Square.
Danielle Jones was still sitting on the swing, her head hanging down looking at hers and her newly found mothers hands entwined in her lap, Danielle's hair was covering her face and every now and then a little sniffle escaped Danielle's nose as she tried to hold back the tears. Ronnie Mitchell was knelt down in front of Danielle on the hard wood chipped ground, she held Danielle's hands in her own rubbing Danielle's knuckles with her thumbs to try to calm her daughter. Tears ran uncontrollably down Ronnie's face but no sound escaped her lips. Everything Ronnie ever wanted was right infront of her yet it felt so out of reach.
Danielle gently lifted her head to make eye contact with Ronnie, she shook her hair freely out of her face and locked her gaze with Ronnie's, her mother looked so hurt, no matter how much Ronnie tried to hide it, the pain, hurt and thought of rejection were still lingering in her tear-stained bloodshot eyes, now she finally understood how Danielle must have felt for the previous seven or eight months. "I'm sorry Ronnie. I do want this. More than anything, It's just so hard, I can't help but remember every word you ever said to me. I know you didn't know and I'm sorry. It's just you made it seem like you hated me. Every time I look at you there's something in the back of my mind telling me that you still hate me and I'm sorry." Danielle explained stumbling over her words, tears fell down her cheeks, her eyes raw with emotion.
Ronnie smiled weakly at Danielle, "oh Dani, baby i don't hate you. I've never truly hated you, i constantly pushed you away, i was scared you were getting too close. Don't you ever be sorry, it's all my fault. I want it so much too but i don't want to cause you anymore pain than i already have, so i'm willing to wait, Whatever it takes sweetie" Ronnie said gently, brushing the loose hair from Danielle's eyes then slowly running the back of her hand down her daughters cheek. Danielle smiled timidly raising her hand to her mothers cheek, mirroring her image, she placed her hand warmly over Ronnie's cheek, her face was so hot yet so cold at the same time, it was as if by touching Ronnie it burned her skin yet Ronnie's face was so cold. "But what if i decide to leave and go h... back to my Dad" Danielle asked shyly breaking eye contact with Ronnie, she didn't intend on going home, as cruel as it sounded she just wanted to hear how Ronnie would react, would she let Danielle go or put up a fight for her daughter? Ronnie's body stiffened, silent tears escaped her eyes, "Danielle, if that's what you truly want then i will understand" Ronnie spoke softly her voice cracking up as she lowered her head trying to reconnect eye contact with Danielle.
Danielle removed her hand from Ronnie's face as if she'd been burned, allowing both hands to grip onto the sides of the swing she spoke "wouldn't you even care?" Danielle snapped coldly watching Ronnie's expression change, Ronnie was actually just going to let Danielle walk out of her life for good, without a fight. "What?!, Danielle of course I'd care, you mean everything to me. No matter how much it hurts me for you to leave me, I'd let you go. Whatever it takes to make you happy, if i had to spend the rest of my life growing old and alone, it wouldn't matter to me. As long as you were safe and happy then I'd be happy. If you really love someone you have to let them go" Ronnie spoke calmly stroking Danielle's hair with her right hand. The thought of Danielle leaving her, was eating away at Ronnie from the inside, no matter how much she tried to push it away or convince herself that Danielle would never leave her, the idea was still there in the back of her mind eating away at her. Now Danielle was talking about leaving, Ronnie just wanted to cling onto her daughter and never let her leave her side, she wanted to fight for Danielle and tell her that she was the only thing she lived for now, without Danielle there wasn't much keeping Ronnie in Walford, everyone else had someone. So Ronnie would do whatever it took to keep Danielle as close as possible, by fighting for Danielle, she felt she would only push her further away.
Danielle felt herself smiling inside, Ronnie was telling her she would give up her own happiness for Danielle's, it was now as if Ronnie truly cared, but Danielle couldn't help but feel guilty, she had no intention on leaving, she had built too much of a home up in Walford, she only wanted to see how Ronnie felt about Danielle leaving. As much as Danielle was expecting Ronnie to put up a fight and demand she didn't go, Ronnie's words were everything she wanted to hear, needed to hear and more. "Thank you. but Ronnie what do you want me to do?" Danielle asked nervously establishing eye contact with her mother, looking deep into her sparkling beautiful blue eyes. Ronnie was lost in Danielle's eyes, her thoughts turning to mush as Danielle looked deep into her eyes, Ronnie brought herself to, lifting a hand and placing it over her heart, she spoke "Danielle. I want nothing more than to be here for you. To be everything you want me to be. To be a proper mother to you. To be someone you confide in. Someone you tell everything to. I want to get to know you, to know every last detail. What you've done in your life, the bad moments and the good, first word, first missing tooth, first crush, first boyfriend, first day of school, first job. There's so much i want to know about you Danielle. Most of all i just want you to let me take care of you, for you to be my baby." Ronnie said calmly as tears fell freely from her eyes, flooding her cheeks, dropping endlessly onto her top soaking the fabric.
Danielle smiled at Ronnie softly reaching out she placed her hand in Ronnie's and spoke gently allowing fresh tears to fall "i want to be your baby" there was nothing more that Danielle wanted, she only needed to know that this was truly what Ronnie wanted, hearing Ronnie speak like that made her heart leap from her chest, she could feel her happiness and excitement build up deep within her chest. Ronnie grinned a smile spreading from ear to ear revealing her glistening, pearly white teeth. She sniffled deeply and leapt forward wrapping her arms around her daughter, knocking Danielle cleanly off the swing, Ronnie's heart leapt into her mouth as she saw her daughter fall backwards, she reached out quickly placing her hands just in time around the back of Danielle's head as they both ended up in a heap on the floor. Danielle smiled brightly letting out a small laugh at the fact that they were both lying on the cold hard floor, memory number one. Being knocked off a swing by her mother, as they both lay smiling uncontrollably as they rolled around on the floor. Danielle was unable to move as Ronnie had one arm wrapped around the back of her head, the other draped gently over her chest and a leg hooked around Danielle's.
Ronnie let out a nervous gentle laugh as Danielle's giggle's started to fade, as much as she wanted to lay there with her daughter, Ronnie figured she was probably crushing Danielle and it wasn't really the right place to be lying with Danielle. Ronnie released her grip from Danielle and un-entwined herself from her daughter before pulling herself off the ground. Ronnie smiled down at Danielle who looked so sweet lying alone on the wood chipped ground leave's sticking in her hair with slightly red cheeks, flushed with embarrassment. Ronnie giggled lowering her arm for Danielle to help her up "come on baby" she spoke gently as Danielle gratefully excepted Ronnie's hand and pulled her self form the ground. Ronnie giggled slightly as she picked dried leaves from Danielle's hair, causing Danielle's cheeks to redden even more, "awww Dani your so cute when your embarrassed" Ronnie teased brushing Danielle's cheek with the palm of her hand. Danielle looked up at Ronnie locking eyes with her as she brushed herself down, "hey. It's your fault I ended up on the floor" Danielle protested trying to give reason for her embarrassment.
Ronnie looked away guiltily "right. I know. I'm sorry" she sighed turning her head to watch a little old man shuffle by without a care in the world. Danielle smiled watching Ronnie's eyes drift by, she slowly stepped forward, slipping her hand gently into Ronnie's as the ground beneath her feet crunched with movement. Ronnie turned her head to face Danielle, who's eyes were locked onto her mother's face. Danielle's hazel eyes now held a new sparkle, a happy sparkle. Ronnie smiled widely stepping towards the entrance of the park to lead them both out. "Ronnie?" Danielle asked following behind Ronnie out of the small playground. Ronnie came to a halt turning her head sharply reconnecting eye contact with Danielle "yeah?" she asked nervously feeling Danielle's hand tighten around her own. Danielle pushed Ronnie slightly forward, urging her to carry on. "I was thinking, I really want this to work. But there's so much history here..." Ronnie's heart lurched forward as Danielle spoke carefully trying to tip-toe around Ronnie, it sounded like doubts as if she were having second thoughts, she nodded lightly feeling her body tense up allowing Danielle to carry on "...I think it would be easier if we were to start fresh. Forget about the past. I know it won't be easy to forget but I'd really like to try" Danielle said quietly as they walked along the path from the playground and out onto The Square.
Ronnie smiled slightly "Dani, that's perfect. fresh start for both of us" she spoke boldly, so proud of her daughter, Danielle was right it wouldn't be easy but it was worth a shot. Ronnie would do anything for her daughter, the fact that Danielle still wanted Ronnie after she had talked about the way Ronnie had treated her was overwhelming. She was so pleased that they were going to start fresh and try and forget all the horrible memories and look to the future.
Hey sorry it took so long to update been really busy the past week, so hardly used my laptop. Thanks to everyone that's reviewed it means a lot. hope you liked this chapter letme know what you think, please Review if possible :-) charlotte xx
